


Artful Sins

by Hyperionova



Series: The Pantherinae Series [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angry Adrian, Arranged Marriage, Caring but rough Kai, Cats Vs Dogs, Fantasy, Forced Marriage, Funny Chanyeol, JongKai - Freeform, Kai forces Sehun to share a bed, Kind but stubborn Sehun, M/M, Mpreg, Pantherinaes Vs Lycans, Shapeshifters - Freeform, Shapeshifting, Slight!Dub-con, Soft Baekhyun, Unwanted Child, Virgin Jongin, Wolf!AU, slight domestic abuse, wolf - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 162,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9109522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: Sehun is forced into a marriage with the heir of the Pantherinaes' Pride. Kai, as rough and feral as he may seem to Sehun, is a kind, just, but nevertheless, an inexperienced leader, facing more than one threat at a time, including the threat posed by his own husband, who would kill him the first chance he gets. Though he wishes to show some warmth toward Sehun, as he cares for the young, orphaned Lycan, Sehun loathes him to his guts and makes it impossible to love him. With neither love nor lust between them, together they endeavour to appease both Pantherinaes and Lycans. Would things only hit the skids if Sehun becomes conceived with Kai's child, which Sehun absolutely does not wish to have? Would he be able to accept the child of a murderer? Would he ever learn to love Kai?





	1. Chapter 1

**Name:** Kai

 **Genus:**  Pantherinae

 **Beast:** Snow Leopard

 **Echelon:** Dominant

 

 

 

**Name:** Sehun

 **Genus:** Lycan

 **Beast:** Grey Wolf

 **Echelon:**  Docile

 

 

 

**Name:** Jongin

 **Genus:**  Pantherinae

 **Beast:** –

 **Echelon:** Docile

 

 

**Other Characters:**

Adrian

Kris

Baekhyun

Chanyeol


	2. Chapter 2

The frozen air laces on his fur, the blanket of snow melts beneath his burning paws as he races across the field of pine trees. Ice-white dust blinds him for a second before he recourses and bolts through the cramped gaps between the trees. He claws into pads of snow, panting heavy. The cloudless sky above is like a splash of blue on a white canvas. A wintry, bitter wind whirs, almost as loud as the thuds of thundering sound of the black beast’s paws behind him.

He tries to pick up the pace, dashing fiercely as clumps of snow flit into the air when his claws rake through it. _You will not catch me this time_ , he thinks, determined to escape even if it completely wears him out.

The pine trees at the edge of the forest are bereft of pine needles. The snow is thinner, softer. He looks up at the smoke emitting from the chimney of the cabin swirls in the air and he sniffs wildly. Bread pudding.

In the brief moment of distraction, he loses his focus and as he bursts out of the pine forest, a brutal weight strikes him from behind, sending him crashing into the snow. He whimpers in dismay as he rolls on the snow, but before he could gather himself onto his paws, the black beast pounces on him again. He howls and grumbles while Adrian playfully bites his neck. He kicks the other wolf in the ribs with his hind legs, but Adrian, being twice his size and almost five times stronger than him, is impossible to break free from. The Black Wolf presses a paw into his neck.

“Sehun! Adrian! That is quite enough,” the screeching voice of their mother booms through the cacophony of their growls. “Adrian, let go of your brother and come inside, both of you.”

Adrian growls in disappointment and releases Sehun before hopping off his brother. Sehun pushes himself up to his paws and snarls at Adrian, who has won for the nth time. It really is not fair, considering how fast and freakishly _huge_ Adrian is, even for a Black Wolf, while Sehun is only an average-sized Grey Wolf pup.

Adrian howls to their mother, who is standing on the log cabin’s veranda with her arms crossed over her chest. She shakes her head, smiling endearingly at her first-born son, whom she is undeniably proud of. Everyone is proud of Adrian. Of course, they are. Sehun is proud of his brother, too. However, while everyone may be proud of Adrian, it is Sehun that all of them pamper and spoil, including Adrian, who is also extremely doting when it comes to his baby brother.

 They stumble out of the forest after clothing themselves. Adrian tosses him his jacket and hooks an arm around Sehun’s neck, hauling him close. “Quit pouting, you sore loser,” Adrian laughs into Sehun’s hair and presses a kiss to Sehun’s temple before Sehun shoves him away.

“You cheat,” Sehun mumbles, trudging over the snow. Adrian’s deep voice resonates through the forest as they wend their way back home.

“I _cheat_?!” he crows, guffawing hard. “Sehun, I’m not sure how I could cheat in a chase. I even gave you a minute head start! Sore loser.” He prods a finger into the side of Sehun’s head.

“Cut it out,” Sehun whines, elbowing his tall brother in his chest. “Is your girlfriend coming over today, too?”

Adrian shrugs. “Maybe.”

Sehun is not too fond of Adrian’s hoity-toity girlfriend, who looks down on all and sundry that’s below her social status. Adrian is certainly below her social status, but he is _Adrian_ , you see. Adrian who oozes pheromones and his scent itself is enough to attract any docile Shapeshifter hoping for a prospective mate. Sehun, unfortunately, even at the age of thirteen, is a proven docile Shapeshifter. A submissive Werewolf, to be more precise, meanwhile, Adrian is a dominant Lycan, who is still searching for his mate. And Sehun, for one, knows that his current girlfriend is not the one.

“Wow, Mom, that smells glorious,” Adrian remarks politely as they saunter into the kitchen. He gives their mother’s wrinkled cheek a peck and pops a gooseberry into his mouth, while Sehun helps himself to the chunks of raw meat. Whether he is in his wolf form or not, he likes his meat raw and fresh.

“You are a grown man, Adrian,” their mother chides gently. “You shouldn’t run around, rough-housing with your brother all the time. You have graduated from college now, when are you going to get a job?”

“I told you, Mom, I have already applied for several jobs. I’ll hear back from at least one of them later this month,” Adrian says, smiling at her as he takes his seat at the dining table. They have lived in this log cabin, which their father had built with his two bare hands even before Adrian was born. As a poor logger, he had built a safe home for his family, only several stones away from the small town. Sehun has terribly missed Adrian while he was away furthering his studies. But he is back now and it pains Sehun to think that he will have to leave soon as soon as he has gotten a job in the city.

Their old mother sighs. “All right. You are pretty old now. I would like to have a couple of pups running around here, you know.”

Adrian groans, rolling his eyes. “I am only 22, Mom. I still have a lot to achieve in life before settling down.”

“What about Alice? Do you now want her to bear your children? You two should mate promptly.”

Adrian makes a hacking sound as he coughs. “Mother!”

Sehun bursts into a laughter. Adrian flushing in embarrassment is indeed a rare sight.

“What?” she frowns, leaving the meat she was slicing a moment ago to take her seat beside Adrian. “Us Lycans are decreasing in number while the Pantherinaes are significantly increasing. The Lycaon will soon need to rise. He will need his sons to be by his side when it happens.”

Adrian’s excitement could not have been subdued any faster. Sehun himself is cringing in the corner with the half-masticated meat in his mouth. At times like this, they cannot help but wonder if their mother speaks in her right mind. She often blethers about this nonsensical ‘Lycaon Prophecy’, which irritates Adrian more than it amuses Sehun.

“It is crap, Mom,” Adrian says in a vexed tone, scowling hard at his frowning mother. “When are you going to realize that we live in the 21st century amongst _normal_ people? We are not going to… worship some… bloody Lycaon anytime soon, okay? So, wake up, Mother. It’s some bullshit old, ancient people used to tell our kind as a bedtime story.”

His mother shakes her head as she rises to her feet. “Suit yourself. But you know there is no denying that the Pantherinaes will destroy every last one of us Lycans the first chance they get.”

“They are not destroying anyone right now, are they?” Adrian shoots up to his feet. “For once, can’t we all stop being so paranoid and just live like we’re not some beasts fighting for our survival?”

“As much as you’d like to be a normal human, Adrian, you are not one,” his mother states sternly. “Now, enough of this. Your father should be home in a moment and I would like to finish cooking.”

Adrian rolls his eyes and storms out of the kitchen. Sehun gets his hand slapped when his mother catches him nibbling on the meat. Shrugging, Sehun hurries after his brother.

“Adrian?” he calls and Adrian stops in his tracks at the bottom of the stairs. “You’re… not upset, are you?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

Adrian lets out a heavy breath. “I don’t know, Sehun. I just can’t wait to… to get away from all of this.” With that, he marches up to his room and Sehun hears him slam the door shut. For the most part, Sehun understands his brother’s frustration.

They are Shapeshifters. But besides transforming into these beasts and running through the woods as they please, they have no other purpose in life as Shapeshifters. Their parents romanticize the importance of their existence, even when there really is not much to it. The world outside does not know of them or their importance and neither does it fear them. On top of that, they are rapidly becoming extinct, especially the Lycans.

All that Adrian and Sehun want is to live a normal life. A life without their parents putting their existence on a pedestal, pretending like they still mean something in the balance of nature. All Lycans are down in the ditch now, many homeless, many scattered all around the globe. While the Pantherinaes live ever so prosperously with all their luxury and extravagance. Or that is what their parents tell them, at least. Sehun has never even met a Pantherinae before in his life. And he hopes to hell he never will.

 

~*~

 

The soft clatters and the creaking of the wooden floorboards rouse Sehun from his sleep. He flutters his eyes open and meets the darkness with an aloof frown. He checks the alarm clock on the bedside table. 00:12. His eyes flit to the crack of the door through which the dim light of the hallway pours. Sehun sits up on the edge of his bed, silently staring at the crack as a shadow slides by.

He blinks and rubs his eyes on the hilt of his palms to clear his vision when he thinks he sees someone crawling on all four… or on four legs. His senses are triggered at once and his eyesight sharpens along with his hearing.

His breath hitches when the scent knocks him for six and he is instantly overwhelmed by his primal instincts. He jolts up to his feet and bares his teeth, taking slow steps toward the door. Whatever that is on the other side of the door, it is not welcome. He glances to his reflection in the mirror and shudders when he sees his glimmering green-yellow wolf eyes. Unlike Adrian, whose eyes in his wolf form are red in colour—a complete contrast to his pitch black fur, Sehun’s eyes still have not settled for a single colour as he is still young.

His feet freeze to the floor when he hears the loud shriek. “Mom!” he gasps and bursts out of his room. For a moment, he stands paralyzed in the hallway, his nose suddenly clogged with various sense-stabbing scents. Among them, the metallic stench of blood.

He pants for air, forcing his feet to move. His hands tremble as he drags himself across the hallway. While his body urges him to transform, he could not. Petrified and overtaken by fear, he could hardly move. The strong scent of blood is mixed with a whiff of something Sehun could not recognize. His blood runs cold.

The second shriek is accompanied by a ferocious bark and Sehun breaks into a sprint towards his parents’ room. “Mom!” he slams the door open and his shattered heart almost jumps out of his chest when he finds the room in an utter mess with a Clouded Leopard’s jaw latched to the Grey Wolf’s neck and right before his eyes, the leopard snaps his father’s neck. “Dad!” Sehun wails and lurches forward, but he is stopped by the Clouded Leopard. Knocked out of breath, Sehun spins around and freezes when he finds a jaguar in the way.

Tears flow unchecked down Sehun’s cheeks as he involuntarily sobs. He turns around and his knees buckle when he finds another Grey Wolf dead in the corner, her eyes frozen and jaw broken. He drops to his knees and explodes into tears, trying to crawl toward his mother. “M-Mom…” he whimpers out and extends a hand, but he drops it when the leopard growls, throwing itself between him and his dead mother. Sehun’s chest tightens as the agony spreads all over his body. Adrian must be dead, too. “No.”

Then turning to the Clouded Leopard, it snarls.

Sehun is forced to his feet when they envelope him. He chokes on his sobs, unable to control them as he stares at his dead parents on the floor. He cannot help them. He cannot do anything. They are dead. They are all dead. His throat burns and his eyes chest hurts. “Adrian,” he whispers shakily, still hoping that his brother would come to rescue him as he retreats a couple of steps as the leopard and jaguar edge closer.

“Do not hurt him.”

Sehun turns around only to meet a well-dressed aged man smiling at him. His hair on the sides of his head is streaked with grey and he has a walking cane in his hand—its silver handle resembling a lion’s head. He flicks a lint off his suit by the shoulder. “Wh-who… are you?” Sehun croaks out, tears cascading down his cheeks.

“Me?” the man says in a deep voice, advancing forward. “Such an innocent, beautiful child,” he murmurs, leaning down to brush his knuckles along Sehun’s wet cheek. “Even for a filthy dog. You will make a fine toy for my grandsons.” He nods his head at the three Pantherinaes. “Bring him along.”

Sehun looks back and without a forewarning, the jaguar lunges at him, jaw wide open. That is the last thing he is aware of before all consciousness is forsaken and he falls into a miserable oblivion.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as his eyes fling open, he jolts up with a jerk and slams his forehead into a solid rod of metal, which feels like it has cracked his skull. He shakes his head, chest heaving and lungs fighting for air. He is not sure why his blood is pounding in his ears, why his heart is thundering.

With tears welling up in his eyes, he desperately looks around him. It is dark. Too dark. Too empty. Too small. He is in a cramped, cold cell with moonlight squeezing through the cracks in the wall. Dried leaves are scattered all over the ground along with grit and grime. Sehun kneels up and slowly curls his hands around the rods of the cell. Where is he?

The picture of dead, motionless wolves flashes before his eyes and he drops back on the ground. His chest gives in and the tears begin to shed. His family…

His ears perk when he hears the click of a lock, followed by the sound of footsteps. “You will be rather excited to see this, Kai,” a familiar voice echoes, which precedes a soft, excited chuff and baby growl.

Sehun gasps and staggers all the way back until he is slammed against a wall when he sees a Snow Leopard cub playfully gallop forward and races back to the man to chew on the man’s walking stick. Laughing the man, ushers the cub toward the cell. The Snow Leopard cub comes to an abrupt halt when it realizes Sehun’s presence. It hisses to attack Sehun at first before it jumps and runs to hide behind the man’s legs. “Go along, now, Kai. He is all yours to play with.”

Then with hesitancy, the cub comes forth. Sehun pants hard, clenching his teeth. The Snow Leopard’s cerulean blue eyes are dusted with specks of green and they bore right into Sehun’s half-green, half-yellow wolf eyes. Sehun glances up to the man and growls, baring his teeth.

In the blink of an eye, Sehun’s blood rushes to his brain and his bones shift before he explodes into a wolf, pouncing toward the bars of the cell, barking his lungs out.

The cub does not move an inch as its ears are pulled back and its fur is sticking up along with its thick, long tail. The curiosity in its eyes change into ferocity and as Sehun readies himself to attack the Snow Leopard cub on the other side of the locked cell, the cub draws its claws out and snarls, fangs and all. At that instant, Sehun feels bigger, stronger than the cub. He _is_ bigger than the cub. If they fought, there is no doubt he will win.

The man claps his hands, letting out a breathy laugh. He lowers to a crouch and rubs the cub’s head. “He is yours, Kai. You can do as you wish with this dog, my prince.”

The cub lets a baby roar and pounces forward, almost scratching Sehun across the face. It warns Sehun with another squeaky roar before turning around and walking away. Sehun whimpers, curling on the ground.

“Grand Papa?” a soft voice enters. The cub instantly runs to the boy who walks in. “Can we have dinner now?” the boy asks before his eyes dart to the wolf in the cell and they are instantly filled with astonishment. “Oh, my… Grand Papa, what is… this?”

“Come here, Jongin,” the man urges and the boy runs to his side. He does not take his eyes off Sehun, who has given up on threatening the irritating Snow Leopard cub, which is still hopping here and there excitedly. “This is you and your brother’s new toy.”

The boy grimaces in something like disgust. “ _Toy_ , Grand Papa?”

“Yes. Do you not like it?”

The boy withdraws from his grandfather and takes hesitant steps toward the cell. He kneels and Sehun raises his head. The boy smiles. “We can be friends,” the boy mutters. He smells a lot like the annoying baby leopard, which is begging for the man’s attention.  “Can’t we?”

“Jongin,” the man laughs. “It is a dirty Lycan.”

“He’s adorable,” the boy, whose name is supposedly Jongin, says, smiling gently. He must be at least three years younger than Sehun. “I like him.”

The Snow Leopard growls, biting onto the boy’s shirt at the back before it yanks it back, as though to pull Jongin away from the wolf.

“Kai, stop it,” the boy shoves the cub away and fishes out a morsel of bread from the back pocket. He hands it out to Sehun. “Would you like some?”

“Jongin, that is enough of your charity,” the old man chides. “Come along now. Let us dine.”

As they leave Sehun in the cold darkness, he mewls silently, mourning the death of his family. But the anger surpasses the grief at that moment. The thirst to kill every last one of the Pantherinaes consumes him. He will never forgive or forget what these Pantherinaes have done

 

~*~

 

 

_11 years later…_

Though the leaves on the branches of the half-bare tree are painted by a bright palette, the grey clouds cast over the sombre, pallid sky are a complete contrast to the vivid colours. Be that as it may, the colours and their contradictions blend well into the backdrop of autumn. Spirals of breeze sweep fallen leaves by the roadside.

Kai clutches the wheel and shifts the gear as he pulls the car into the compound of the manor, past the gates, which are opened scarcely ever. The driveway to the manor is covered with leaves and Kai wonders why no one has bothered to clear the place up. He reminisces the days he had spent running around the estate while it was drowning in snow. His brother, Jongin, would watch him silently with longing in his eyes. He has not spoken to Jongin in a while and hasn’t seen him for over two years. They have not spent much time together after Kai was brought away to live abroad with his mother, while Jongin was left here to be trained with the Pantherinaes—not that it had helped him any.

If the situation had not urged Kai to return, he might never have for that he has found home elsewhere. This manor holds only good memories, but it is not his home anymore.

He pulls the car over and lets out a heavy breath, glancing out the window. After adjusting the collar of his coat, he exits the car and makes his way to the door. He raises his fist to the door and pauses for a moment, letting out a soft sigh before knocking on the door.

“Kai,” Jongin rasps when he pulls the door open. He breaks a smile and lunges at Kai to yank him into a hug. “I have missed you.”

Kai smiles, pressing his lips to his brother’s shoulder. “I’ve missed you, too,” he pats on Jongin’s back before withdrawing from the embrace. “Your hair’s longer,” he ruffles Jongin’s dark hair. He has always found it odd that despite being twins, Jongin was born with glorious dark hair while Kai was born with natural grey hair.

“Yeah,” Jongin snickers. “Come on in.”

Nothing much has changed in the manor. It is still too big for an army, too quiet and too luxurious. “Where is he?” Kai inquires, discarding his coat.

“In his room,” Jongin says. “Do you still remember where that is?”

“Kind of,” he shrugs, heading up the stairs as his brother silently follows behind.

“How is mother?” Jongin asks.

“Fine. She… misses you.” He comes to a halt at the top of the staircase and glances down to the pawprints on the maroon carpet draped over the floor. They are not a Pantherinae’s pawprints.

“Do you… plan to stay?” Jongin averts Kai’s attention once again. Though they may be twins, Jongin reeks subordination and docility, even if he has failed to shapeshift. He might not have the gift to transform into a Pantherinae, but he still is one. And without a shadow of a doubt, Jongin is a docile Pantherinae. But Kai is not sure whether Jongin realizes that or not.

“Uh, I’m not sure,” Kai murmurs, ambling toward the room. “Maybe I’ll stay for a week.”

“Oh, that’s… good.”

“You don’t sound too thrilled,” Kai smirks, glancing back to his brother.

“No, no. It’s not that,” he pauses in his tracks and Kai stops with him. “The other Pantherinaes are… talking about appointing a new leader.”

“He’s not dead,” Kai says, frowning.

“But they are afraid that he soon might be. And if you’re around, then… they would want you to have a part in it.”

Kai shakes his head, turning around to proceed toward the room. “I don’t want a part in it.”

“You might not have a choice.”

Kai heaves a sigh. “Can we talk about this later?”

“Kai,” he grabs his arm to stop him. “He _is_ … dying,” Jongin whispers, frowning pathetically. Kai swallows and bows his head.

“Okay,” he mutters.

When he pushes the door open, he is not sure what he should expect to see besides his affluent, once regal grandfather in his death bed. He finds exactly that and… a boy sitting at the foot of the bed, on the floor with his knees hugged to his chest. “You are free to leave,” Kai hears his grandfather say in a whisper.

The boy rises from the floor and walks over to the bedside. “I will not leave until I see you dead, until I hear your last breath leave you. I should have been the one to kill you, but you also fed me and I’m not the kind to bite the hand that feeds me. I have waited for this moment for far too long,” the boy spits through his grit teeth and Kai clenches his fists at his side. Even as weak as he is, his grandfather manages a small smirk. “I will only be truly free when you have died.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Kai snarls, barging into the room and the boy fixes him a scowl. “Get away from him.”

“No… wait… Oh,” he lets out. “Kai, you’re… you’re… home,” his grandfather croaks, lifting a hand and Kai rushes to his side.

“Yes, Grandfather,” he whispers and glowers at the boy. “I’m here.”

“Took you long enough to come see this old man,” he chuckles delicately and tries to sit up, but Kai gently presses his shoulder to prevent him from sitting up.

“I’m sorry, Grandfather. I was… I wish I could have come sooner.” He really did. But he did not know how he could have greeted him with a straight face after knowing that the man that he had once admired and hoped to emulate turned out to have caused innumerable deaths of the Lycans. Kai loathes the dogs, yes. But the hatred is not rooted in his heart, it is more like a Pantherinae instinct to hate them.

“Who is this?” Kai growls at the boy, who is fearlessly glaring at him.

“Sehun, perhaps you should go back to your room,” Jongin interrupts, draping a protective arm around Sehun’s shoulder.

 _Sehun_. The name rings a bell and Kai freezes for a moment. The wolf. The wolf that his grandfather had held captive for Kai.

“I will wait for you downstairs, Kai,” Jongin says before he exits the room along with the boy.

Exhaling in exasperation, Kai takes his seat on the edge of the bed and lightly squeezes his grandfather’s frail hand. “Why do you still keep him here, Grandfather?” he asks.

“He has nowhere to go. I kept him for you when you return,” the old man says, smiling faintly. Kai purses his lips. “How is your mother?”

“She wishes she could be here.”

“No, she does not. She still hates me,” he sighs, looking out the window.

Kai does not know why his mother had forsaken all these riches and her father to live as a commoner. It might have something to do with the fact that her father is a murderer, but Kai is almost certain that there is more to that, which his mother refuses to divulge.

“Have you come to see my die as well?”

Kai straightens up. “Please, don’t say such things.”

His grandfather’s hand tightens around his. “Kai… You _must_ be the next leader of Pride.”

Kai sucks in a sharp breath and rolls his tensed shoulders. “Grandfather, I think you should rest. I… I am not going anywhere this time and… I have come for you. Not to take over your position. I have a life now, Grandfather. I cannot be the… leader.”

His grandfather remains mum for a moment as he vacantly stares at the ceiling. “This house has been… really quiet.”

Kai frees his hand and adjusts the pillow beneath his grandfather’s head. “It has always has been.”

“I have committed far too many sins. I have so much blood… on my hands.” His voice quakes now as he speaks. “I murdered… Sehun’s family before his very own eyes and he resents me for it.”

 _Sehun._ The wolf. It might have seemed amusing to present a Lycan as a ‘toy’ to a Pantherinae when he was young, but now it just seems cruel.

“His resentment sounds justifiable,” Kai remarks.

A soft chuckle escapes his grandfather’s lips. “You regard me with spite as well.”

“No.”

“Yes, you do.”

“This is no time to be vitriolic, Grandfather. I am here to be by your side because you had requested so. I am not here for these puerile disputes between Lycans and Pantherinaes.”

“The Lycans will come for us. When their so-called Lycaon is chosen.”

Kai shakes his head, rubbing his temples. “Perhaps you should rest, Grandfather. I will come back after a moment.”

“Yes… Yes, you do that.”

Kai lingers for a moment longer and only leaves once the old man has closed his eyes. He shuts the door silently and turns around to see Jongin waiting in the hallway, conversing with the wolf boy in hushed tones. “You,” Kai snaps, marching over to them. “How dare you speak that way to a dying man?!” he hisses with a clenched jaw and a hand flies up to grab the boy by his shirt collar.

“Kai, enough,” Jongin chides, ripping Kai’s grip off the boy’s shirt.

“When you are forced to live in the mercy of a man who had killed your entire family, then you will understand. It is not just him that I want to see dead. I want all of you Pantherinaes to die in the cruellest manner.” It is all that Sehun says before he turns on his heel to walk away.

Kai grabs his wrist. “Do you wish for me to die as well?”

“Yes!” he spits fiercely and pulls his wrist free. He pins Kai with a murderous glare before he stomps away, hands balled into fists at his sides.

“What… How,” he turns to face his brother. “Why hasn’t Grandfather killed him?”

“Because he does not want to take away the ‘present’ he gave you,” Jongin’s words are laced with malice. “Like it or not, Sehun is _yours_.”

Kai blinks in confusion. “Certainly, you can’t play along with that nonsense.”

“When you left here, Kai, the only thing you told our grandfather was to keep Sehun safe for you and you will come back to play with him. No one has forgotten that.”

Kai bites back on a laugh, lifting his eyebrows. “Apparently, I have,” he scoffs and heads for the stairs. “It is insanity, Jongin. I was, what, eleven what I said that? Send the boy away.”

“He does not have a home,” Jongin blurts out.

“And so, you decided you would provide the shelter for a stray.”

“Our grandfather killed his family,” he says sternly.

“He has killed many families. If we were to take in every abandoned Lycan, we would have a pound.”

Jongin scoffs derisively. “Spoken like a true Pantherinae.”

Kai comes to an abrupt halt and faces Jongin. “I _am_ a true Pantherinae. Unlike you.”

“If I must be like our merciless grandfather to be a true Pantherinae, then I don’t want to be one.”

“Okay. Fine. What does the boy do here, anyway?”

Jongin swallows before answering. “Grandfather kept him locked up until recently. He told Sehun to go, but Sehun had refused. He wanted to watch… him die first.”

“And he is in your sphere of protection now?”

“No,” he says decidedly. “He is in _your_ sphere of protection. He always has been.”

“Bullshit,” Kai rolls his eyes as he saunters outside to grab his bags from the car.

“I am serious.”

“I will stay for as long as Grandfather wants me to. And then I’m gone. I want no part of this Pantherinaes or… that boy’s matter, do you understand?”

Jongin frowns. “It might not be your call.”

“I don’t care.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kai loves how his clothes still smell of home when he unpacks his bags. Unlike the rest of the manor, his room has undergone quite a bit of a transformation, fitting for a grown man now. After closing the wardrobe, he walks over to the window and gazes down at the orchard. Soon, everything will be covered by snow and Kai hands are already itching to claw through it. He wonders what Jongin does here for a hobby or for entertainment. He can’t shapeshift, so he probably does not hang out with the rest of the Pantherinaes—not that they are a good hang, anyway. Most of them love to do stuff on their lonesome, unlike Lycans, who always embraced pack membership.

Perhaps Jongin has a lover, who keeps him occupied. But then again, if he does, Kai surely would have smelled his mate all over him. Jongin still smells like a complete virgin. Kai should not mock him. Though Kai has had his fair share of human lovers in high school, he has not found a partner. They are not like Lycans, who are bound to a single mate for the rest of their lives after mating. A Pantherinae’s love is nurtured and fostered, and if carefully handled, the Pantherinae will be devoted to its partner for as long as it breathes, but there are also Pantherinaes who have multiple partners.

Jongin has not found one either. Besides, Kai is almost certain that Jongin is frigid.

He takes a long cold shower before attiring himself in a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt. He is not too keen on leaving his room right now, but his stomach is growling and something is smelling awfully amazing. Jongin has learned to cook?

He wends his way to the kitchen, making note of everything on his way. “Hey,” he mutters when he finds his brother by the kitchen counter, plating the food he has made.

“Hey,” Jongin replies, flashing a smile full of politeness. “Hungry?”

“Quite a bit,” Kai takes his seat at the kitchen counter. “Has he eaten?”

“Grandfather or your little _toy_?” Jongin asks, smirking playfully.

Kai groans. “For the last time, I never agreed to him being my plaything, okay?”

“Yeah, but… the idea did excite you when you were a kid.”

“Exactly. I was a kid,” he states as a matter of fact.

Jongin still grins. “It’s nice having you home.”

Kai eyes the plates full of baked salmon. “Do you ever plan to leave here?”

Jongin shrugs, sliding a plate towards Kai. “Maybe.”

“You wanna… come with me? Move to the city maybe? For a change? Mom would love to have you.”

Jongin stays silent as he places a bowl of porridge on a tray alongside a glass of water. “Maybe,” he says again. “Hey, Kai?”

“Hmm?” Kai looks up at him.

“Can you do me a favour?”

“Uh… That will depend what sort of favour it is.”

Gnawing on his lower lip, Jongin hangs his head. “Don’t… don’t tell anyone that you don’t want… Sehun anymore.”

Kai frowns. “I never actually _wanted_ a Lycan, Jongin. Why would I now?”

“Because everyone is convinced that Sehun is your… slave. Pet.”

“Pantherinaes don’t have pets, for god’s sake!”

“Yeah. But… the idea is entertaining to the Pride. That is the only reason they haven’t tried to kill Sehun and if you… if you told them that you don’t care about him… they will try to… get rid of him and… while Sehun is a Grey Wolf, he can’t really protect himself against twenty Pantherinaes. And I can’t help either.”

Kai rubs his eyes. “Oh, God,” he mutters under his breath. “Why are you so keen on protecting him, anyway?”

“He is my friend,” Jongin smiles. “I was… I was alone a lot in here, you know. And he was my friend.”

“You’re telling me he doesn’t want to kill you because it seems to me that he specifically said that wants every Pantherinae to die,” he scoffs, forking the asparagus.

Jongin smiles smugly. “I’m the only Pantherinae he likes.”

“You guys aren’t…” Kai swallows. “I mean… are you two…” he trails off, hoping that Jongin would have grasped the gist, but his brother only cocks his head, waiting for Kai to finish the sentence. “Ugh, you two aren’t fucking, are you?”

Jongin almost knocks the glass of water off the counter and wheezes a little. “What the hell, Kai?!”

“I’m seriously curious,” Kai smirks, taking a bite of the asparagus and salmon. Whoa, they taste pretty good.

“No! No! He’s a docile Lycan!”

“Oh, so you guys don’t do it because you’re docile as well.”

Jongin’s cheeks redden despite his tanned skin. “You are unbelievable. What _did_ the city teach you?!”

Kai laughs. “So, it’s not happening.”

“No, for the millionth time! No! God, no! He’s my friend!”

“Okay, okay,” Kai shrugs. “Friend. A dog friend. Got it. So, you haven’t lost your virginity?”

“Kai, knock it off.”

Kai helplessly smirks while Jongin drops his head, chewing on his lip as he tries to hide his flushed expression. “I should take this to Grandfather,” he says, clearing his throat.

“Hmm, no, let me,” Kai interrupts, pulling the tray away from Jongin.

“Oh. Okay, thank you.”

Kai is not surprised that even bantering with Jongin seems awkward. They had spent very little time together and whenever Jongin visited him for a week or two, Kai had always been more interested in showing off about his beast form rather than bothering to bond with him. Eventually, Jongin had stopped visiting.

He does not knock when he enters. His grandfather is sitting up, leaning against the headboard as he stares into the rapidly darkening evening outside.

“Grandfather?” Kai calls, just to announce himself. The old man does not respond immediately, but when he does, his expression is somewhere between sullen and hard. “Who taught Jongin how to cook?” he asks lightly, settling the tray on the bedside table.

“Your uncle had,” he answers, though Kai is not expecting it. “Nod.”

“Uncle Nod? How is he? And his family?”

“That rotten son of his is a menace as usual.”

Kai smiles at a fond memory of Chanyeol he cherishes. They used to be the naughtiest cubs of the Pride and Kai is still proud of all the mischief they were known for when they were kids. Jongin has always been a goody two-shoes, so he never participated in any of Chanyeol and Kai’s misdemeanours. They were known as the little devils between Chanyeol’s fathers.

“Will they visit?” Kai asks, spreading a napkin over his grandfather’s lap.

“I am dying, aren’t I? Of course, they will visit soon.”

Kai hands him the spoon, but the man waves it off. “Grandfather—”

“I have something to ask of you,” he says, in a grave tone. Kai lowers the spoon and perches on the bed. “You cannot refuse.”

“Grandfather, I am no longer a child. I have my own opinions. Taking your place as the leader of Pride is not something I covet. I cannot do it. Accepting such a duty to the Pantherinaes would mean I will have to become someone entirely different. I must… change into someone that I’m not. I have no fury for the Lycans and I will not hurt them. This in return will aggravate the Pantherinaes. While I will not stand with them as they hurt innocent Lycans, I will not be in their way, I can promise you that.”

His grandfather’s grey eyes narrow. “Do you despise me so?”

“Grandfather—”

“Whatever that I’ve done is for the good of all of the Pantherinaes Prides. Not just ours. There will be a time when the Lycans will rise and when they do, you will need to be prepared.”

“It will not happen, Grandfather. Don’t worry.”

“But I do. I worry for you. I worry for both of you. Jongin is impotent. I doubt that, even as a docile Pantherinae, he will be able to bear a child or give one.”

“You do not know that for certain,” Kai says, trying to keep his tone light.

“All my fortune goes to you, Kai,” he mutters and Kai could only gawk stupidly in return. “I do not have an heir besides you.”

“I… I don’t know what to say… Grandfather, I don’t… want your fortune.”

“But all of this has always remained in our family since our ancestors. Kai, you must fulfil your destiny.”

Kai is a tad bit surprised that nobody has already confirmed of his grandfather’s senility. He probably should not voice his thoughts aloud, but he is almost certain now that his grandfather is half-senile. “And my _destiny_ is to lead a group of murderers?”

His grandfather frowns. “As much as I’d like you to choose your right to become the leader, I will not force you. I know of the toll it takes on us leaders. It is not what I wanted to ask of you.”

Kai arches an eyebrow. “What is it, then?”

“Do you wish to end the fight between Pantherinaes and Lycans?”

“I haven’t really thought about it… but I suppose if it ended, all this hunting and murdering will end.”

“Yes,” he nods shakily. “I, just as my ancestors, continued our effort to wipe the Lycans from the face existence, but perhaps, it should stop with me. I do not wish for my grandsons or my great grandsons to have that blood on their hands.”

“Do you mean… that?”

“I do,” he sighs. “Lycans are loyal,” he smiles. “They won’t betray even their enemy if they had eaten from them.” Kai’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I am aware. Why are you telling me that now?”

“Sehun… Do you remember that boy?”

Kai draws a breath. “I haven’t forgotten him, though I fail to understand why he remains here.”

“You wanted me to keep him here for you, safe and unharmed. You said you will come back for him.”

“Grandfather, I was a child.”

“Nevertheless, you had a mind of your own, didn’t you? I kept him safe for you and now he is your responsibility.”

Kai could not have groaned any louder. “How many times must I say this? I have no recollection of saying such a thing and I most certainly do not want a pet Lycan. He is _not_ my responsibility! He is a bloody Lycan that has found refuge in our house. He will leave the first chance he gets.”

“I do not want him to leave, anymore.”

“What?” he scowls.

“I had destroyed his family and yet, when I was terribly ill, he had stayed by my side.”

“Yeah, waiting for you to die.”

“No. He nursed me back to health. Long before this.” Kai eyes his grandfather doubtfully. “I had scarred that innocent boy. I need redemption. I need to do right by him, at least.”

“There is no redemption for you from any Lycan, Grandfather,” Kai says, even if it would hurt the old man.

“Tell me, Kai. Have you no love for me?”

Kai frowns, taking hold of his grandfather’s hands. “You have been a father to me. A hero. I would not be here if I had no love for you, Grandfather.”

“Then, will you fulfil my last wish?”

Kai opens his mouth and then shuts it again. He drops his gaze and sucks in a few breaths. “Grandfather, if you ask me to become the leader of the Pride as your last wish, I will fulfil that. But please do not ask me so. I beg of you.”

A small smile plays on his grandfather’s lips. “It is not what I want to ask of you. You will be the first Pantherinae to wed a Lycan.” Kai’s grip loosens around his grandfather’s hands as his jaw falls slacking. “It is my last wish. Wed Sehun.”

“I did not want to say this, but you have indeed gone mad, Grandfather,” he releases his hands and stands to his feet.

“I am serious, kiddo,” he smiles with such a kindness which Kai has missed seeing. “Form an alliance between the Pantherinaes and Lycans. Show it to everyone that the two kinds can live together in peace and love. Bear a child even to prove it.”

“Bear a child?” Kai scoffs in disbelief. “Grandfather, have you completely lost it? He is a Lycan! And I am a Pantherinae! Not to mention kin to his family’s murderers! No, no. I don’t even know why I’m arguing. It will _not_ happen even if you _are_ serious.”

“He _is_ yours,” he says critically.

“I never asked for him!”

“Marry him, Kai. You are meant for greater things than just mundanity.”

“And you think I will achieve these greater things by marrying a Lycan that hungers for the death of my kind?!”

“Soothe that hunger within him.”

Kai stares at the dying man, tongue-tied, unsure of how to rebuke. “You cannot do this to me,” he ends up saying.

“Please, Kai,” he begs, reaching a hand out to Kai. “Please, my prince.”

Kai closes his eyes, focusing on solely his breaths for a moment. “Marrying… someone is a huge deal, Grandfather. You have hated and killed Lycans all your life and now you want me to marry one?”

“Not just any Lycan. It is Sehun.”

“Even if I agreed to this, you are not doing him any right. He would hate you more.”

“Perhaps. But perhaps I would have given him a chance to quench his thirst for vengeance.”

Kai shakes his head. “No. It sounds ridiculous to even _think_ it in the privacy of my head. All of the Pride will turn against me”

“And I thought you did not care about the Pride.”

“I never said that. But I want a life free from all this animosity.”

“You are a Pantherinae, Kai. Your life will always be filled with this animosity. Unless you choose to do something about.”

He has heard enough. Without uttering another word, he storms out of the room and slams the door shut behind him before slumping against it, planting his head in his hands.

He lifts his head when he hears the sound of approaching footsteps. Sehun freezes as his eyes meet Kai’s. For the first time, Kai pays attention to the details of Sehun’s face and body. His face is sculpted to perfection, eyes scintillating and skin creamy and flawless. He is skin-and-bones, but there is a light tone of muscles around his arms. The tight t-shirt hugging his torso perfectly outlines the curvy shape of his waist. His lips are like a number of rose petals and his rich brown hair looks stunningly silky. With absolute certainty, Kai knows that Sehun is a docile Lycan now, but he just could not catch a whiff of it as he is not accustomed to Lycan pheromones.

“Hi,” Kai says in a hoarse voice and immediately feels stupid for saying it.

A murderous scowl crosses Sehun’s expression before he turns around and walks away.


	5. Chapter 5

Has his grandfather been possessed? Kai restlessly paces around the room with thousand different thoughts swarming his mind. He wonders if he should tell Jongin about their grandfather’s ridiculous ‘last wish’. But he is not sure it would help his case. Marriage is no child’s play. Marriage between a Lycan and a Pantherinae is a disaster if not the end of the world. Where did his grandfather even such an idea from?

Redemption? Is trying to shove Kai into a ditch because of his own guilt? Or is that just an excuse? Is it one of his grand plans to get Kai to assert his power within the Pride and take over as its new leader?

He flumps on his bed and vacantly stares at a wall. Though he has been telling everyone, including himself, that he wants no part in the Pantherinaes Pride business, a part of him wants it. And he tries so hard to keep that part oppressed, afraid that if unleashed, he might turn out to be like the long lines of brutal Pride leaders.

If he chooses to be a leader, would he become like his grandfather? Would he ever intentionally hurt Lycans? Would he want to hurt Sehun? He does not think so. But of course, he is rational enough to know that the Pride would have some influence over his decisions. But what if he marries a Lycan and becomes the leader? Would they still insist on destroying the Lycan kind? Kai highly doubts it. Equal respect will be given to both the Pride leader and his partner. But he is not so sure about it since there has never been a Pantherinae leader who was married to a Lycan.

The selfish, feral Pantherinae part of Kai wants to go for it. But would it be worth it? He decides it wouldn’t. There is just too much to lose. Chanyeol could become the next leader. Or one of his fathers. They are highly potential, too.

Amidst his thoughts and confusion, he stiffens as his senses are triggered. That scent…

Kai jolts up to his feet and quietly moves to the window. He looks down, vision sharpening by the second. His heart hammers against his chest due to adrenaline when he sees a handful of wolves crawling about, lousy with their stealth. What the hell are they doing here?

 _Sehun_.

No. Jongin.

Kai sprints toward the door and freezes with his hand on the doorknob when he hears the soft sound of paws on the ground before a clamour breaks the silence followed by the ear-splitting sound of shattering glass.

Without a second thought, Kai gushes out of his room and bolts toward the cacophony. The carpet covering the stairs are splotched with muddy pawprints and panting hard, Kai races upstairs.

The instant he spots the three wolves bolting across the hallway, towards Jongin’s room, Kai vaults after them. Apprised by his presence, the wolves turn upon him, baring their teeth and launch themselves after him. It takes Kai less than a second to rip his human form, shredding into pieces before he lands amidst the wolves in his beast form.

The wolves halt, retreating a step as Kai roars, flashing fangs, towering above those Lycans. He stands menacingly threatening, taking slow steps toward them, every advancement of his clawed paw a warning. Then all three at once lunges at him, clawing him everywhere they could reach. But Kai has the primacy here as he is bigger than them and definitely stronger than these docile Lycans.

He slams his heavy paw into one of the wolves’ face, sending it flying until it hits a wall and whimpers. He then turns to sink his teeth into another’s neck before snapping it with his jaw. Just when he is about to turn his attention to the wolf that has lacerated his shoulder, the other two wolves flee, howling in distress. The dead wolf remains pinned under Kai’s paw as he pants laboriously.

“What—” Jongin cuts himself short when he shows up in the hallway and clasps his hand to his mouth. His eyes immediately brim with tears. “No,” he lets out as Kai retreats from the wolf he has killed. Jongin looks at his brother, for the first time in his fully-grown Snow Leopard form, in horror.

“Jongin?” Kai hears Sehun’s voice before he sees Sehun jog into the picture.

The way Sehun’s face instantly dies sends a pang to Kai’s heart for some pathetic reason, but he almost feels miserable when Sehun runs forward and crashes to his knees to examine the dead wolf. “Oh… no, no, no,” he whispers, tears falling onto the Lycan’s face as he cradles its head in his arms. “No…” he exhales, pressing his face to the wolf’s cheek. Then lifting his head, he stares at Kai, eyes full of fear instead of anger. “You… monster,” he says, sobbing into the blood-bathed fur of the wolf.

 

~*~

 

_You monster._

The two words keep ringing in Kai’s ears. Sehun has witnessed the death of his kind again and this time, Kai has had a first-hand involvement in it. He does not really care about Sehun thought of him. The Lycans had broken into his house and had tried to attack Jongin. The fact that he had killed the wolf might be unforgivable, but Kai feels absolutely no remorse or guilt for doing it and it terrifies him.

What if he, after all, is like his grandfather?

Murdering that Lycan should have a taken a toll on his conscience, but as Kai sits there in his room, he feels nothing but gratification of having satisfied a hunger. He is a monster. And Kai worries that he might not be able to hide it for too long.

There is a knock on the door. Kai rises to his feet to get the door, knowing that it is only Jongin. “Hey,” Jongin mutters. “We… I got rid of the wolf.”

Kai nods his head. “I had to do it, Jongin.”

“I’m not sure you _had_ to do it, Kai,” he says, frowning. “I can’t believe you… killed someone.”

“A Lycan that had come to attack you,” he spits, scowling.

“Still.” He sighs. “I got so tired of seeing our grandfather kill the Lycans. And now you, too.”

Kai clenches his jaw. “You are lucky that I was here when it happened. Otherwise you would have been dead. So, I suggest that you thank me.”

“You sound so much like Grandfather now,” he scoffs, shaking his head.

Kai rolls his eyes and steps out of his room. “Does he know about what happened here last night?”

“Yes.”

“Does he know why we’re being attacked by Lycans in our own house?”

“It doesn’t make sense, though. Why would they come to… attack _me_?”

Kai shrugs, jogging up the stairs. “One thing’s for sure.” he heads straight to their grandfather’s room as Jongin tries to keep up. “They fucking want a fight and I will give them one,” he spits and shoves the door open. His grandfather removes his arm from his face and stares at Kai. “All right. I’ll do it. I’ll take your place as the leader of the Pride. And… I’ll marry Sehun.”

His grandfather continues to stare at him for a moment before his lips curl into a smile. He reaches for the bedside drawer and fishes out a small black box. “Here,” he says, holding the box out to Kai. Accepting it, Kai inspects its content and finds a couple of golden rings. His heart stops for a second. “It is my gift to you.”

“Besides the enormous fortune you’re leaving me?” Kai scoffs, eyeballing the rings.

“Wed him on the day I die.”

 

~*~

 

Not a single day has passed for the past eleven years without the thoughts of his family. He has been held captive in this manor by the rotten Pantherinae for far too long that Sehun does not know what the world outside would be like anymore. He had spent almost two years in the dank cell and the remaining nine in this very room. His family was brutally murdered right before his eyes by these Pantherinaes and what cruel fate it is that he has to serve them now. He hates himself for it. He is ashamed, ruefully guilt-ridden, but he can’t do anything either.

These Pantherinaes had killed his family and last night, another had killed a Lycan. Sehun stares at his pale palms resting on his lap, wondering who the Lycan might have been and what she was doing here. Could she have come for him? But the notion seems too far-fetched. No one knows that he is here, let alone a Lycan. Sehun has never even met the poor Lycan, even if he had, it must have been a long time ago that he no longer remembers the scent.

He does not know what he had expected of the Snow Leopard, but he should have known that he would be just like his grandfather—cruel, merciless and savage toward the Lycans. Sehun chokes on a sob when he thinks about the fate that is in store for him. What will happen to him after the despicable old wretch dies? Will Sehun be truly free? He supposes he could flee to a place far away from here, but there is no guarantee he will escape the Pantherinaes. Even if he does escape, what then? Where will he go to? What will he do for a living? Sehun used to silently watch Jongin studying with his home-school tutor, but it isn’t as though Sehun has even graduated from high school.

Nevertheless, striving out there in the ruthless world will still be better than to serve the Pantherinaes. He rises to his feet and walks over to the window. He does not wish to be free. He does not really care even if he dies tomorrow in the hands of the Pantherinaes. What he truly wishes for is for every last one of the Pantherinae to suffer a painful, unsparing death.

His throat burns with bile. Kai had killed a Lycan and yet, Sehun could not do anything. He could not harm or challenge Kai, for the reason that he is kin to Jongin and their grandfather, who have fed Sehun thus far. Sehun should have let himself starve to death, but he didn’t. And because he didn’t, he is beholden to them. Especially to Jongin, who has been his only companion all these years.

Contrary to the Pantherinaes’ perfidy, Lycans are loyal, even to a foe if they owe them. The hollowness in Sehun’s chest will forever hurt him for serving the family of the man that had killed his family.

He jumps around, startled when the door is slammed open and instantly triggers his wolf senses. Kai’s dark eyes are a contrast to his silver-grey hair. Last night, Sehun had recognized the cerulean blue eyes when he had transformed into a Snow Leopard. Those blue eyes will forever haunt Sehun, though those dark eyes are not exactly a comfort either. He is Jongin’s twin brother, who looks almost everything like Jongin, save the hair and the rugged look, but he looks so different compared to how he looked in the photographs Jongin used to show Sehun. “What do you want?” Sehun hisses through his grit teeth.

Kai strides into the room without an invitation and Sehun almost growls at him when Kai seizes his arm in a vicious grip. He says nothing as he hauls Sehun out of the room. For a very brief moment, Sehun’s senses are clogged by Kai’s strong scent of dominance and it renders him lightheaded. He wants to shove Kai away, but he knows the effort will be futile. He has the firm grip of a leopard, but at the same time, it is not meant to be hurtful. At least Sehun does not think it is. Even so, having Kai’s hand on him is abysmally disgusting. It feels like a snake coiling itself around its prey.

“Let go!” he snaps at last on the staircase and tries to yank his arm free, but Kai’s grip remains strong. “Ugh!” he hisses when Kai starts to remorselessly yank him up the stairs again. “What are you doing, you son of a—” he stops himself as Kai shoves him into the room, releasing his arm.

“Sehun,” the old, dying Pantherinae calls as if he is taking his last breath. Sehun shoots Kai a glowering look before walking over the bedside. He must truly be insane to pity the old man in spite of all the barbarity and lack of sympathy. “Come closer, child,” the man whispers. Sehun takes a step closer to the edge of the bed. Kai is standing in a corner, wearing a fierce scowl, which is glossed with something like worry and confusion. “I thought that you will not forgive me.”

“You thought right,” Sehun mutters, clenching the hem of his shirt. The shirt that Jongin had bought him. Until Jongin had given him his old clothes to wear, Sehun spent most of his time in the cell in his wolf form to keep himself warm. But he rarely transformed these days, now that he is allowed to roam freely in the manor.

The old man snickers softly. He closes his eyes and draws in a peaceful breath. “I took you in as the leader of the Pride. You will now serve my grandson instead of me.”

Sehun blinks blankly. He wonders if this one of those moments when the old man does nothing but ramble nonsense.

“You are loyal to me and my family, are you not?”

Sehun clenches his jaw. “I am not. You have killed my family. I am not indebted to you once you are dead.”

“Then before I die, I want you to pledge your allegiance to this family as a Lycan and I will promise you, no more Lycan shall be harmed.”

He could not have gaped more stupidly. “What?”

“You will marry my grandson. You will bear his child and together, you both can form an alliance with the Lycans. The rest of Pantherinaes shall be convinced that Lycans and Pantherinaes can indeed live together in peace.”

Sehun stares at the old man as his voice betrays him. His stomach clenches painfully and his body trembles a little. “Y-you… th-the… Pantherinaes will not… harm any more of my kind?”

“No. Only if you do this.”

Sehun drops to his knees by the bed and clings onto the bedframe. “And I have to marry Jongin for that?” He does not find it too appalling to marry Jongin if would certainly save all the Lycans. Jongin is already his friend.

A chuckle escapes the old man’s lips. “No, Sehun. You must marry my grandson Kai.”

That instant, Sehun’s body and brain turn numb, his ears ringing with the man’s words. All air is knocked out of his lungs when he turns to look at Kai, who is scowling mercilessly at him with his arms crossed over his chest.

“M-marry… him? But why?” he lets out breathlessly.

“He is next in line to my position. Only he can truly change things around here. This is my redemption, this is how I can wash my sins.”

“Your sins can never be washed,” Sehun spits, shutting his eyes. He does not want to cry, but even now, he is still serving a bloody Pantherinae and he can’t do anything about it. “You will not keep your word,” he whispers. “Neither will he.”

“I know that I do not deserve your trust, but Kai surely does.”

“Nonsense,” Sehun lets out, opening his eyes again. “All you Pantherinaes are the same.”

“You really think you have a choice, Sehun? If you don’t do this, you will lose a chance to protect your kind from mine and also you would be jeopardizing your life. Unless you are under Kai’s protection, unless you are _only_ his, unless you have his security, no Pantherinae will spare you. They have only let you live because you _serve_ this family.”

“Since when do you care about my life?”

The man heaves a sigh. “Whether you choose to believe me or not, I am trying to redeem myself. Help me help you save the rest of your kind from us.”

A sob rises in Sehun’s throat. “I must marry him for that?” he mutters shakily.

“You are loyal to me, aren’t you? Marry my grandson and he will promise you the security of your Lycans. It is the only way for you to help him avoid a war that will soon rise.”

Sehun knows, even when dead, the man will not allow him his freedom. “And if he fails to keep his word?” he asks, tears stinging his eyes.

“He wants to marry you, Sehun,” the man says calmly. “I refuse to believe that he will treat you with malice and unkindness. You were, after all, brought here to be cared by him.”

Sehun hears Kai scoff at the back. “Now, Grandfather,” Kai says defensively. “Don’t make promises I can’t keep. I will marry him, but only to protect my family, the Pantherinaes from the Lycans. And it is your last wish. But apart from that, I will promise him no such kindness. It is a only marriage of convenience.”

Sehun shoots up to his feet and faces Kai. “As though I would want to marry a murderer like you wholeheartedly!” he crows. Kai’s eyebrows furrow into a hard scowl.

“You think you filthy Lycans haven’t hurt a single soul?!” Kai spits and Sehun stiffens in his position.

“What do you mean?”

Kai rolls his eyes. “A scum like you should be grateful that I even considered marrying you.” Sehun does not blink as he carefully listens to Kai, every word a knife to his heart. “What do you have? You are almost worthless, living like a dog to my grandfather and nothing more!”

Sehun could not raise his voice higher than a whisper when he speaks. “I don’t have anything,” he lets out, a tear rolling down his cheek. “Your Pantherinaes took it all away from me.”

Kai swallows, pursing his lips as he falls silent, carefully eyeing the tear that trickles down Sehun’s face before Sehun wipes it away. His gaze then quickly flits to the door which springs open and Chanyeol gushes in, gasping loudly.

“Is he dead?!” he screams, wildly scanning the room.

“No, you rotten thing! I am not yet dead!” the old man hisses at Chanyeol, who looks to him immediately.

“Oh, Grandpa!” he cries, running to the bedside. He throws himself onto the old man, crushing the frail man in his embrace. Sehun takes a step back and he rasps when his back bumps into someone and he spins around, only to see Kai glaring at him. He pulls away, looking to Chanyeol. He has enough recollection of the tall Pantherinae, who used to visit frequently with the other Pantherinaes.

“Grandpa?” Chanyeol mutters, withdrawing from the rough embrace.

The old man is unmoving, eyes and mouth screwed shut. All of a sudden, Kai shoves Sehun aside to rush to his grandfather’s side and checks his pulse, then his breathing. Letting out a heavy breath, Kai presses his hands to the mattress, hanging his head. Chanyeol’s eyes widen as he gasps.

“Uh-oh,” he exhales, looking up at Kai, who is scowling at him. “Oops.”


	6. Chapter 6

After fastening his coat buttons, Kai glances up at his reflection on the mirror and smoothens his gelled silver hair at the side of his head. Then adjusting his necktie, he lets out a sigh. The cacophony of scents of Pantherinae fills the house and amidst the blend of scents, Sehun’s distinct and pronounced scent stands out. In the past two days he has been here, he has gotten used to the Lycan’s scent, which he could now pick out even in a sea of Pantherinaes. Everything in the manor smells like Sehun and Kai has become too conscious of it, even in his sleep.

He picks up his phone to check if his mother has returned any of his calls. He had sent her a message about his grandfather’s death to which his mother replied with ‘ok’.

“Is it true?!” Jongin screeches, bursting into the room. Kai sighs, straightening the cuffs of his shirt.

“Be more specific, Jongin,” he says, turning around to face his brother, who is clad in a sharp black suit, hair swept neatly. His fresh face suggests that he has not cried recently, which upsets Kai a little. Their grandfather might have been an influential Pantherinae, but he was not a kind man and Kai doubts that Jongin holds even half the love and admiration Kai has for their late grandfather.

“Are you going to _marry_ Sehun?” he asks, eyes full of disbelief.

Kai stiffens, but he tries to not to cringe over it. He is. He is going to marry Sehun, he is going to form a bond with a Lycan. “Yes,” he says blatantly.

Jongin lips part as he gapes at his brother. “What?”

“Did he tell you?”

“You… why would you want to do something like that?”

Kai shrugs, taking a step forward. “It was what Grandfather wanted. And Sehun has agreed to it. I will tell the others at the next Pride meeting.”

Grimacing, Jongin shakes his head. “How could you? How could you play along with Grandfather’s sick games and make Sehun pay for it? You brainwashed him into doing this! You promised him an appeasement with the Lycans?! How do you even plan on achieving that?! Don’t turn into him, Kai. Don’t become a monster like him!”

“Don’t you see that I already am?!” he yaps with a ferocity that silences Jongin. “That Lycan that I killed that night is not the first one I’ve killed, okay?!” he groans, turning his back to Jongin. “I wanted to stay away from all of this. But the moment those Lycans stepped into _my_ home and tried to hurt _my_ family, they have a fight with _me_. I want you safe, Jongin. And I’m not going to let anyone hurt you for the Pride’s injustice toward the Lycans.”

After an idle moment, Kai feels a trembling hand on his shoulder and he turns to meet Jongin’s red eyes. “What… are you saying?”

Kai grinds his teeth, glancing to the window. “I try… I try to be… different, Jongin. I try to suppress this bloodthirsty Pantherinae within me. But you know what. I am tired of trying. Maybe this is who I’m supposed to be.”

“You don’t have to be—”

“No,” he cuts him off. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to go on a rampage to kill the Lycans. I want things to change around here. Which is why I’m forming an alliance with a docile Lycan and extending my protection to him.”

“So, you are marrying him only for the reason of having some sort of… proof that you are willing to have a conciliation with the Lycans. It’s just a testament for you?”

Kai frowns. “Should there be a different reason for me to marry a Lycan? Hey, Sehun agreed to it for the same reason, too.”

Jongin clenches his jaw. “I hope you understand what you’re getting yourself into, Kai. The Pride will not make it any easier for you if you choose to do this.” He looks disappointed as he turns on his heel and leaves the room. Kai scrubs his face with his palms and lets out a low guttural moan.

 

~*~

 

Kai slaps the back of Chanyeol’s head when he finds him making out with Baekhyun in the south-wing hallway. “You’re at a funeral house. Mind eating his face off later?” Kai remarks as Chanyeol turns around to face him with flushed cheeks.

Baekhyun recoils from Chanyeol, licking his swollen red lips and smiles at Kai. “Hi, Kai,” he says. “I’m really sorry for your loss.”

Kai nods his head, mirroring Baekhyun’s smile. “Yeah, no thanks to your boyfriend.”

Chanyeol laughs nervously, clapping a hand to Kai’s shoulder. “So, are we looking at the new leader of the Pride?” he says, just to divert the attention to a different topic.

Kai exhales a sigh. “You’re not going to challenge me for it?”

“Nah,” Chanyeol says, hooking an arm around Baekhyun’s neck to yank him close. “I’m not the responsible type.”

“Take note of that, Baekhyun,” Kai scoffs, patting on Baekhyun’s shoulder. Chanyeol anxiously grins at Baekhyun who frowns at him. Kai looks ahead at the staircase. “Don’t you think everyone should be sadder than this when someone dies?”

“Well, I shouldn’t be saying this now, but your grandfather wasn’t exactly a friendly man to most of us here,” Baekhyun says.

“Yeah, remember when I introduced you as my boyfriend and he said you’re too tony and you won’t give me strong babies?” Chanyeol comments, breaking a laughter, which promptly dies when he notices Baekhyun’s scowl. “Kidding, babe,” he mutters, pressing a kiss to the side of Baekhyun’s head.

“I know he isn’t the kindest man and everyone here just… respected him. But…” Kai trails off, unsure of what he wants to say. He does not want his funeral to be full of people happy because he is gone. “I know almost nothing about leading a Pride. And I sure as hell don’t think I’ll do a good job.”

“Kai,” Baekhyun says, raising hand to stroke Kai’s arm. “Don’t worry. We’re all rooting for you. Besides, no one’s expecting you to turn into a full-fledged leader in one day. Your grandfather fell ill rather unexpectedly, so we are all a little unprepared.”

Kai nods. “I should go down there and tell everyone I’m ready to do it, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should,” says Chanyeol, beaming encouragingly. “But if you really can’t do it, then I suppose I can be a temporary fill-in.”

Kai appreciates the offer, but he knows Chanyeol wants to have a peaceful life with Baekhyun without all the Pantherinae conflict.

“Good lord,” Uncle Nod rasps, making an appearance in the hallway. “There you are,” he says, approaching Kai. “Everyone is waiting for you.” He glances to Chanyeol and Baekhyun for a brief moment and shakes his head. “You need two need to stop sneaking away for your little make out sessions!”

Baekhyun points his finger to Chanyeol, who groans. “I gladly wanted to make out in front of everyone, but it was Baekhyun who refused,” Chanyeol says, shrugging with nonchalance.

Uncle Nod rolls his eyes. He is so much older than the last time Kai had seen him. “Save it until you’re married,” he chides them before turning to Kai again. “Too many discussions down there about whether or not the Pride has a new leader now.”

“Can’t we talk about it… later?” Kai asks.

“I know it is a little insensitive of everyone to want you to do this now, but they’re worried. Just come down and make an announcement about you stepping in for your grandfather. I can take care of the rest.”

“Okay,” he sighs. “Uncle Nod, there is something else I should tell you.”

“What is it?”

“A couple of nights back, there was an attack… here, in the manor.”

His uncle’s eyes widen. “By Lycans?”

“Yes.”

“God, there have been quite a number of attacks recently,” he gasps. “Wolves have broken into Pantherinaes’ houses. I can’t believe they have mustered the audacity to attack _us_ now?! I’m not sure you know this, but apparently, there’s been a pack of rogue Lycans, that’s been terrorizing the place.”

This is news to Kai. “Why are they attacking us all out of a sudden?”

“Do they really need a reason, those sordid creatures? Word on the street is,” he leans in to whisper. Chanyeol is scowling at his father. “Their so-called _Lycaon_ has risen.”

“That bullshit isn’t true, is it?”

Uncle Nod shrugs. “What we know for certain is that they are on a possible killing spree and if they have tried to break into the house of the leader of a Pantherinae Pride, they need to be taught a lesson immediately.”

“Whoa,” Chanyeol interrupts. “Those Lycans haven’t actually hurt anyone yet.”

“ _Yet_ , being a principal term, my son. They soon will and they are already warning us.”

“But… I don’t think retaliating right now is our best defence.” The change in Chanyeol’s usually cordial expression is palpable.

Kai swallows, bowing his head. “I know what our best defence is.” He excuses himself and marches toward Sehun’s room.

 

~*~

 

He is free. At least, he is supposed to feel free. But he does not. He feels… empty. It is not supposed to feel this way. He had wanted the man, who had destroyed his family, his happiness, his life to die. And now, he is dead. But why isn’t Sehun’s chest filled with complacency and fulfilment, why isn’t his thirst for vengeance quenched? Why isn’t he happy?

He runs to the window and presses his palms to the glass, glancing down at the cheetah and jaguar roaming around the orchard. The manor has been swarming with Pantherinaes since yesterday and Sehun has not stepped out of his room. He is certain that he is not welcome at the service, not that Sehun wants to be there, anyway. But he eagerly watches the Pantherinaes prance here and there.

There is a sudden knock on the door. Sehun hurries to get the door, wondering if it is Jongin, but he stops short with his hand raised to the doorknob when he recognizes Kai’s strong scent. He curls his hand into a fist and aimlessly scowls at the door. He jumps a little when Kai knocks harder. “You better open it before I break it open,” Kai growls on the other side of the door.

Sehun rolls his jaw and opens it. He pins Kai with a death stare, holding the door open. Kai is attired in a full black suit, his eyes are dull with fatigue, but he apparently still has the energy to scowl at Sehun. “What?” Kai grabs Sehun’s wrist and yanks him out of the room. “What are you doing?!” he barks at Kai. Who the hell does he think he is?! “You, uh, let… go!” he stutters out, struggling to free his wrist and when he finally succeeds, his hand flings up to backhand Kai’s face, but before his hand could even brush against Kai’s cheek, Kai catches his wrist and twists it until Sehun squirms a little.

Clenching his teeth, Kai shoves Sehun back. “You’ve got quite the nerves,” he spits as Sehun rubs his reddening wrist. “Come on,” he catches the wrist again and starts to haul Sehun downstairs.

Sehun’s heart hammers against his chest when he finds countless Pantherinaes in the ballroom. They are all dressed in black. The service must have ended a while ago. Everyone halt in their tracks when Kai drags Sehun past them. Kai’s hand around Sehun’s wrist burns, but Sehun is more focused on the Pantherinaes surrounding him now. He unconsciously curls his hand around the sleeve of Kai’s coat and clings onto him in fear. As much as Sehun would love kill these Pantherinaes, his natural instincts tell him to succumb. Succumb and let this man holding his hand to protect him.

The thought crushes him. He is yet again giving himself to another Pantherinae.

Jongin is staring at him from a corner with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Sehun looks to Kai. Why could it not be Jongin? Why must it be this brute? Why must it be this cruel man? But an assertive man like Kai can lead a Pride. Sehun knows almost nothing about Kai, other than the fact that he is comes from the highest dominating echelon, based on his scent and attitude and he is about to marry him. A Pantherinae. The heir of his family’s murderers. It makes him sick. Kai makes him sick. Like his scent.

Kai comes to a halt and yanks Sehun to stand by his side, his grip still unrelentingly tight around Sehun’s wrist. “I understand that all of you want to hear my decision. My grandfather wanted me to take his position as the next leader of our Pride. I had not come here expecting to stay. But considering the current circumstances, it seems that I can’t turn my back on my own people, on my own family. I have, therefore, decided to accept my duty as your next leader.” A wave of cheer and applause follows as people lift their glasses. Sehun tries to wrench his wrist free from Kai’s grip, but Kai continues to hold onto it. “Wait, I have something more to say.” Silence. “My grandfather had also wanted this. He asked this of me and he asked this of _you_. He and I both wish for this feud with the Lycans to cease.” The guests break into low murmurs, but Kai proceeds with a heavy sigh. “This Lycan,” he pauses. “Most of you already know him. I…” he stops himself again and closes his eyes. Then facing Sehun, he releases his wrist and pulls out a box from his pocket. “Marry me,” he says. Not a proposal, but an order. Sehun glares into his eyes as Kai’s jaw tightens. The Pantherinaes in the room have gone dead silent. Kai takes a ring out of the box and forcefully brings Sehun’s hand up. “Do you have any objection to it?” he asks in a whisper, only for Sehun to hear.

Why is this bastard even asking when he does not care? Sehun lowers his head, slowly shaking it. “Good,” Kai spits and slips the ring onto Sehun’s finger. “Your turn,” he presses the other golden ring into his palm. Gulping hard, Sehun shakily puts it on Kai’s finger. Nodding curtly, Kai faces the audience again. Nobody utters a word. Sehun isn’t sure anyone is even breathing, including himself. What sort of a wedding was that? Well, his life is already bad enough, this does not change much. “This Lycan is now mine and mine only. I am certain that all of you are aware of the rule to never hurt a fellow member of the Pride or anyone associated with them. Nobody will hurt him. That aside, my grandfather wanted an appeasement between the Lycans and the Pantherinaes. And as your new leader, I second this. I will appreciate it if you help me in my endeavours hereon.”

“This is unacceptable!” one of the elders shouts for the whole hall to hear. “What do you think you are doing by marrying that filthy dog?!”

Kai protectively curls a hand around Sehun’s and Sehun almost tears it away if only Kai hasn’t gripped it so tight. “I respect your opinion, but whom I marry is none of your business.”

Someone claps in the crowd. Chanyeol. He steps forward. “Finally, someone in here with a brain!” he exclaims and half of the Pantherinaes present snarl at him. “Honestly, he is a leader I can follow and he’s only been like, what, two minutes into the post?”

“Chanyeol,” his other father hisses at him, but Chanyeol disregards him.

“I say enough of this fight with the Lycans. Let’s end it. Once and for all.”

“Try saying that to those dogs!” another Pantherinae yawps and Sehun digs his nails into Kai’s hand in infuriation.

“Enough!” Kai’s voice carries across the hall. “As your leader, you will heed me! And those who choose to defy may either leave the Pride or fight me in a challenge.”

Sehun looks to Kai in surprise. He can’t certainly mean that. How does he plan to win against so many Pantherinaes? But what surprises Sehun even more is that no one challenges him that instant.

A man finally steps forward, flashing a vulpine smile. “Very well, Kai,” he says. “If this is your first effort as our new leader, we will support you through it. But first, I think there is quite a lot for us to discuss.”

Kai nods his head in agreement. “Of course.”


	7. Chapter 7

The endless squabbles at the dining table could hardly be considered as a civil discussion. Kai rubs his eyes with the hilt of his palms and glances to Chanyeol, who is shaking his head at the bickering men and women.

“Kai, are you certain you want to be married to a bloody Lycan?!” Uncle Nod asks, his voice rising above the others.

Kai cocks his eyebrow. “No, if you could come up with a better idea to prove our intention of restoring friendly relations with the Lycans.”

“The thing is I’m not sure most of want that,” says another Pantherinae. Kai does not even know what that woman’s name is. “You are rather reckless and I suppose it is a given since you are completely inexperienced.”

“I don’t think I need much experience to see that this rivalry with the Lycans is stupid and puerile. Only more people will die if this goes on.”

Uncle Nod sighs. “He is right. And the Lycans are up to something big. Putting a stop to this might be a good idea for us.”

“Since when are we afraid of Lycans?!” another old woman crows.

“Who said anything about being afraid of them?” Kai shoots at her. “I’d like to meet with whoever that is in charge of these rogue Lycans you spoke of, Uncle. Who is their Alpha?”

“We do not know for sure there is even a pack like that, Kai. It is just a presumption.”

“There has been an increased activity of the wolves in Itcara recently, hasn’t there?” Chanyeol says and he immediately has Kai's attention.

“Itcara?” Kai echoes.

“Yeah, it’s, uh, a small town nearby. Just an hour away.”

“The town where your new spouse comes from,” says one of his grandfather’s oldest companions with a bitter and spiteful tone.

“What?” Kai lets out, frowning.

“Yes.” He rises to his feet, leaning heavily on his walking stick. “We went hunting to the town about ten years ago. That is where we found the boy.”

Kai jolts up to his feet and demands for more. “That is where you found him?”

“Yes. Haaron took the boy home, but we killed the rest of the family. Just his parents, if I remember correctly.”

Kai’s throat tightens. He licks his lips and sinks back in his seat. “All right. I will… visit the place, take a look around. With Sehun. And see if I could somehow strike a chance to meet the native Lycans there.”

“Are you insane?!” Uncle Nod yelps. “They will rip you apart the instant they find out you are alone! God, has it even crossed your mind that the Lycan you supposedly married would do that as soon as you’re asleep?!”

It has indeed crossed his mind. “Uncle, would you like to take my place, then?” His uncle goes silent. “Don’t worry. I will be fine.” Kai is not too sure about that, though. He _did_ kill one of the Lycans.

“Marrying a Lycan was taking it too far, Kai,” Uncle Nod says, shaking his head. “But if you truly want an appeasement, I think it is a good strategy. Still, you are very young. You should not have offered yourself up like that.”

“If it would stop more people from being slaughtered, then I don’t regret it.”

“Even so, are you certain your grandfather wanted this?”

Kai rises from the seat. “I am done here. Until I come back with more information, no one is to make any advancements toward the Lycans.” With that, he storms out of the dining hall.

“Kai!” Chanyeol caterwauls, running after him. He grabs Kai’s hand and shakes it aggressively. “Congratulations, man!”

Kai looks at him in confusion. “What?”

“Your wedding. Wow, you fucked that up, but it was still so cool.”

“Chanyeol—”

“I like Sehun. For a Lycan he’s pretty chill.” He grins. “He’s kind. And doesn’t smell bad like the other Lycans. One time, he even cooked for me when I came over. He’s nice.”

Kai does not know why Chanyeol knowing so much about Sehun makes his stomach clench. He has married Sehun. Apart from all the Lycan nonsense, there is nothing that Kai knows about Sehun. He does not even know Sehun’s surname.

“Will you make it official?”

“Yeah,” Kai sighs. “I’m having the registrar come over tomorrow.”

“Oooh. So, it’s your wedding night.”

Kai comes to an abrupt halt and looks daggers at his friend. “I’m going to my own room, Chanyeol. Good night.” He does not wait for a respond and proceeds to his room.

He is stopped by Jongin at the top of the stairs. They exchange no words, but Jongin eventually cracks a soft smile and pats on Kai’s shoulder before he walks away.

 

~*~

 

The snow is sticking to the ground. The sky is robbed of its glorious sun by the fat grey clouds. Kai grips the gear stick, tightening his jaw as he drives through the primitive town, which does not preen on a great population. Cunning eyes gaze to his sleek black Audi when he drives past them. For some odd reason, everything about the sombre town makes his blood run cold.

Sehun’s entire attention is out the window. He wears a longing look on his face as he stares at everything the car passes by. Kai has not said anything to him since the impromptu wedding. He even had Jongin relay the information to Sehun about them going to Itcara today and Sehun just jumped into the car without uttering a word. Kai could tell he is not too thrilled about being married to each other either.

“Do you like… to listen to songs?” Kai finally musters the courage to break the silence, but Sehun does not respond as he keeps his face turned away from Kai. Kai almost thinks that Sehun might not have heard him.

The rest of the car ride is even more torturous because Kai has begun to pay attention to Sehun. He is clad in a maroon shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a pair of faded blue jeans. He wears his hair slightly long and Kai decides it is a good look on him. Kai wants to ask how old he is, but he lets that thought slip. He can ask Jongin later.

He jumps a little when Sehun gasps, gawking at something along the road and a small smile forms on Sehun’s lips. Only then does it occur to Kai that it must have been over a decade since Sehun had last been out of the manor. There is nothing but excitement in Sehun’s mesmerized eyes. Kai looks to Sehun’s hand and tries not to frown when he does not find the wedding ring around his finger. He grips the wheel with a lockjaw. Some guts the boy has.

Sehun slumps back against his seat when they are back on the highway, far away from the town, though the snow-dusted trees on either side of the road still have his attention. The temperature is lower here in Itcara, which explains the snow in autumn. “Where’s your ring?” Kai asks in a low grumble, trying not to sound too defensive.

“I took it off,” Sehun says, expression suddenly hardening.

“I can see that,” Kai pins him with a sidelong glare. “Look. We are also married on paper now. I suggest you wear the ring if you don’t want people to think you’re having an affair with a married man,” he says, tapping the finger with his ring on the steering wheel. Sehun stares at it in something like amusement before he turns his head away.

“Why are we here?” he asks in a soft voice.

“Curiosity or fear?”

“Huh?” he faces Kai again with an arched eyebrow.

Kai smirks, shaking his head. “Is this your… hometown?”

Sehun remains mum for a moment and when he speaks again, his words are venomous. “If you think bringing me here is some sort of a sick joke to you, then I have never seen anyone more repulsive than you.”

Kai glances to him, scowling. “You certainly do flatter yourself by thinking that I think so much about you.” Sehun frowns at the reply, which Kai takes pleasure in. “I hardly remember you exist,” he scoffs. “We’re here to meet your people.”

“My… people? So, your plan is to parade me around like a… trophy until some Lycans notice that we’re married and you have shown mercy to our kind?” his expression hardens further.

“Precisely.”

Sehun falls silent again. “When… when everything is over… when we have peace between the Pantherinaes and Lycans… will you let me go? We won’t have to be together after that, right?”

Kai’s eyes remain on the road. “Uh… I guess. We won’t have to do this for too long hopefully.”

Sehun nods his head, looking pleased. His eyes widen a little when Kai pulls the car over to the field of thin snow. The car passes a board that reads “Frost Inn”. Clever. Kai turns the navigator off as he parks the car in the empty field. A thick forest of pine trees is surrounding the field of snow and the inn. He tugs at his coat collars before stepping out of the car. The dry air would be fresh if it isn’t for the thick stench of wet dogs that hangs in the air. He huffs a cloud of puff and glances around. The inn is located in a rather secluded area, which is apt for some peace and quiet. Kai looks to the dense pine forest and then to the log cabin. Its outward appearance seems homely enough.

He grabs his bag from the backseat and cocks his brows when he finds Sehun still in his seat, unmoving and hesitant. Kai walks over to his side of the car and rips the door open. “If you prefer to sleep in the car, that’s fine by me.” Kai’s remark snaps Sehun out of whatever reverie he was in.

“What are we… doing here?” Sehun lets out, eyes brimming with tears. Kai looks at him in confusion.

“Checking into an inn. We’ll need a place to stay for the night and this inn is apparently owned by Lycans. It’ll be great publicity,” he winks, but Sehun does not find it amusing. He exits the car and shivers, hugging his body. Well, he should have brought a jacket along. Sehun has not even brought any extra clothes, though Kai had told Jongin to tell him that they would be staying out for the night. It is not Kai’s problem to be bothered with. “Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

Sehun blinks his eyes rapidly, shaking his head. He digs into his jeans’ pocket and pulls out the wedding ring. Kai wrenches it out of his hand and as Sehun gawks at him in shock, Kai forcefully puts the ring back on Sehun’s finger. “Try taking it off again and I’ll chop your finger off,” he spits through his grit teeth and starts toward the cabin.

It is surprisingly warm inside the cabin. Kai glances back and catches Sehun frowning as he steps in with hesitancy. “Welcome!” a loud shriek is followed by the appearance of a lean, tall woman, who does not seem more than five years older than Kai himself. She stops short a few feet before Kai as her friendly smile wavers. A smirk creeps onto Kai’s face instead as he casually ambles over to the counter.

“Room for two, please,” he says nonchalantly.

The woman’s jaw clenches. “We have no room for a Pantherinae, I’m afraid.”

Kai’s smirk widens. “How about a Lycan and his husband, then?” he extends a hand to Sehun. Sehun stays put, staring vacantly at him. Only after a moment does he bitterly walks over to Kai and lets Kai snake his arm around his waist. Kai does not miss the way Sehun flinches in disgust. He turns to face the Lycan woman, who must own the inn. She looks beyond stumped, completely dumbstruck, riddled with perplexment. Her mouth agape. Sehun wriggles in discomfort when Kai presses a hand to the side of his waist. “Give us your best room.”

“Uh… Kris? Could you… come out here for a moment?” she calls out shakily, unable to take her eyes off them.

Kai retrieves his arm from Sehun and glances to the door. Sehun sucks in a sharp gasp, looking in the same direction as Kai. A chill surges down Kai’s spine and his throat tightens with the sudden gush of wolf scents. With hands balled into fists at his sides, he stomps outside and onto the snow. He holds his ground, eyes boring into the pine forest before him. His senses are triggers, his eyes have changed colour and his breaths come out as a low growl.

Countless wolves emerge from the forest, each slow stomp of their paws a careful threat. Kai keeps his gaze unwavering and head held high as he scans the enormous pack of wolves that advance out of the trees. They bare their teeth, growling menacingly. There must be at least three dozen of them and Kai is not sure he would be able to survive if even half of them choose to attack him right now.

He is a Pantherinae. A leader of a Pride at that. He does not need to travel with companions or the entire Pride. He can establish the reverence for him as a solitary Pantherinae facing an entire pack of Lycans. Kai is not even sure if a pack is supposed to be this huge. Who could possibly have the dynamism to _lead_ such a colossal pack?

His question immediately gets answered when he sees a tall, broad-shouldered man proceed out of the forest, right amidst the group of admonitory wolves. He has this glorious black mane of hair, only slightly long and is clad in a pair of black pants and black shirt, several buttons undone at the top, displaying the intricate mandala tattoo on his chest. His fearless eyes are fixed on Kai and there is a smug complacency on his face. Kai does not miss the black leather bracelet around the man’s right wrist. With his strong, powerful strides past the wolves, there is no doubt that he is the Alpha.

He comes to a halt with the wolves gathering behind him. It is a majestic sight, Kai has to give the Alpha that. He looks like a true leader, regal and powerful. Kai has never even seen a Lycan this dominant and if he is being honest, he instantly admires the man. Well, so long Kai has a Lycan by his side, he doubts these Lycans will want any trouble with him.

But that is when Sehun lets out a sharp gasp and breaks into a sprint toward the pack of wolves. Kai could not help but gape at the traitor as his heart sinks to his stomach. Okay, maybe now he is truly doomed.

His eyes bulge out as he watches Sehun pounce on the Alpha, bursting into fierce sobs. “Adrian!” he gasps, clinging heavily onto the taller Lycan’s neck. The wolves in the background begin to howl softly as they circle around the embracing men. Kai scowls, wondering who the fuck that Alpha is supposed to be to Sehun.

The strange Lycan wraps his arms around Sehun protectively while keeping his glowering eyes on Kai. “Sehun,” Kai hears the man’s deep voice carry across the field before the Lycan clenches his eyes and nuzzles his nose into Sehun’s shoulder as though to inhale his scent. Fucker.

With tears flowing down his cheeks unchecked, Sehun sobs for air, clasping his hands to the sides of the Alpha’s face. “You’re… you’re a-alive?”

Who’s alive? What is going on?!

“How… h-h-how? Adrian,” he cries again, weeping into the Alpha’s chest. Gripping his jaw, Kai takes a step forward, but he halts when a couple of wolves bark at him.

“Kill him,” the Alpha mutters, eyes still on Kai as he keeps his arms grappling Sehun’s body.

“No, no!” Sehun rasps right when the wolves advance forward. “Wait, don’t hurt him. He…” he sniffles, fisting the Alpha’s shirt. “He’s… my… husband.”


	8. Chapter 8

The word leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. _Husband._ The stale, cold air runs down his throat and fills his lungs when he sucks in a trembling breath. His cheeks are stained with tears, eyes still stinging with more. Two dark pools of ferocious eyes stare at him in something like shock and confusion.

“Your _what_?” Adrian rasps, his arms tightening protectively around Sehun’s shivering body. Sehun throws his arms around his brother’s shoulders and burrows his face in the crook of Adrian’s neck.

“I can’t believe… you’re… alive,” he lets out, breaking into a sob again. He could not possibly describe the relief of having a heavy burden lifted from his chest. It feels as though he is finally able to breathe again. God, this is real. Adrian is real and he is alive. Sehun inhales his brother’s scent until it consumes him. _This is_ _real_. It is not some dream, which Sehun will have to wake up from.

He weeps until he has worn out the supply of tears. Adrian holds him tight, cupping the back of Sehun’s head. “It’s all right, Sehun. It’s all right,” he whispers, his breath gently stroking Sehun’s cheek. This is real. It’s not a vivid dream. “I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.”

Sehun withdraws from the embrace, blinking hard to clear his blurry vision and to take a good look at his brother’s face. Adrian does not smile. He does not look like he has smiled in a while. “Why didn’t you… come for me, Adrian?” he asks, gasping for short breaths. “Why didn’t you come looking for me?”

“I didn’t know where you were,” Adrian admits with a frown, brushing a lock of hair out of Sehun’s forehead. “Until recently and I was coming for you, Sehun. I knew you were not murdered that night, but I could not track your scent. It was too late when I had returned.”

“But how… how are you alive? I thought you were dead.”

“That can wait,” Adrian says, lifting his head to glare towards the Pantherinae. Kai does not look hostile when Sehun looks to him. Instead, he is wearing an annoyed, disgusted expression. “Why are you in the company of a fucking Pantherinae?” Adrian growls. Sehun curls his hand around Adrian’s clenched fist and lowers his head.

“Like I said,” he mutters past the sob that is stuck in his throat. “He’s my husband.”

Adrian is no longer paying him any heed. His attention is wholly on Kai, who is strutting towards them. The wolves, which Sehun assumes belong to multiple conjoined packs, snarl and growl at Kai. Sehun wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand and sticks closely to his brother. He does not miss the way Kai frowns at his hands when they latch themselves onto Adrian’s arm.

“Hi,” Kai says with such a nonchalance and calmness, which startles Sehun. He holds a hand out to Adrian, who ignores it, glowering hard at him. Kai curls his fingers into a fist and retracts his hand. “I’m Kai.”

“And I’m still wondering if you’re brash and presumptuous or if you’re incredibly stupid for walking over here all by your lonesome,” Adrian spits through his clenched teeth.

Kai shrugs. “I could be a bit of both, if I’m being completely honest.” He sticks his hand out again and Sehun’s breath hitches when Kai aggressively grabs hold of his forearm and yanks him to his side. Sehun stumbles and holds onto Kai’s arm to steady himself before immediately recoiling from him. Kai continues to keep his grip firm around his arm, his fingers digging deep into Sehun’s flesh. Adrian lurches forward, baring his teeth and Kai brings a hand to Adrian’s chest to shove him back. Instantly, the wolves retaliate on Adrian’s behalf, but they stop short when Adrian orders them to stay back. “He’s on my side now, whoever you may be, lover boy,” Kai says, loud and clear.

Sehun cringes, ripping his arm free from Kai’s grip. “What is wrong with you?!” he hisses at him. “I am _not_ on your side and he is my _brother_.”

Kai’s eyes widen and he stares at Sehun for a moment. “Oh,” he lets out, facing Adrian again. “Oh… I… Oh.” He releases Sehun’s arm immediately and rubs the back of his neck. “I thought… uh…” he trails off, sounding a little nervous. Sehun surveys his odd, flushed expression. Why are Pantherinaes always so weird?

Sehun returns to his brother’s side. Adrian’s eyes bounce from the ring on Kai’s finger to the ring on Sehun’s.

 

~*~

 

Adrian remains mum for a long stretch of time. Sehun is not exactly complaining. He would rather just sit here all day and silently watch his brother breathe right before his eyes. Kai, on the other hand, looks absolutely agitated as he paces around the dining room with his arms crossed over his chest while Adrian relentlessly scowls at him. Sehun doubts Adrian knows about the fact that Kai is the grandson of their parents’ murderer and Sehun does not plan on making Adrian aware of it anytime soon. They still have so much to catch up with, so much to tell him. This still feels surreal.

“Here you go,” the woman from the counter at the front enters the room and places a tray of mugs on the table. She throws a scowl in Kai’s way as she pulls away from the table to stand behind the chair Adrian is seated in. Beside him, Kris is restlessly tapping his fingers on the table. Kris, Sehun remembers him quite distinctively. He has sort of been Adrian best friend when they were young. But they had grown apart when Adrian left for college. He does not really know where they both stand right now, but seeing Kris here, by Adrian’s side is comforting. At least Adrian has not been all by himself and alone like Sehun has been. For that, Sehun is glad. The fresh scent of coffee swirls in the air, filling the room.

“Thanks, Thea,” Adrian mutters, straightening up in his seat after dropping his legs from the table. He does not seem like he is in the mood for coffee, though.

“Were you forced into this marriage?” Kris asks Sehun.

Sehun glances to Kai, who is now leaning against a wall, watching them with intent. Letting out a sigh, Sehun shakes his head. “N-no,” he lies.

Adrian’s jaw tightens, so does Kris’. “Then why on earth would you marry a bloody Pantherinae, Sehun?!” Kris yaps.

“Not all of them are as bad as you think, Kris.” This is not exactly a lie. Jongin is not bad.

“They killed your parents, Sehun! And they have killed so many more!”

“And we have killed many of them, too,” Sehun says, leaning closer to his brother. “I am fine, don’t you think? I look fine. I _am_ fine. They haven’t tormented me. He,” his eyes dart to Kai momentarily. “hasn’t tormented me. They aren’t the same anymore, brother. He… really does want peace between us. He wants to reconcile with the Lycans.”

“Bullshit,” Kris jolts up to his feet. “You should have just killed him, Adrian.”

“And then what? More people will continue to die,” Sehun says, frowning hard.

“You _believe_ him, Sehun? You certainly can’t be that naïve. You really believe that he does not have a hidden agenda of his own?”

“I don’t believe he will stoop that low, no matter how pathetic he is.”

“I am right here, you know,” Kai interrupts, glaring at Sehun, who rolls his eyes. “Who the hell are you, anyway?” he asks Kris before turning to Adrian. “Alphas don’t lead such huge packs.”

“Let’s just say your information is a little outdated,” Kris scoffs. He draws a deep breath, palming his forehead and cards his fingers through his rich dark hair. “No matter what you say, Sehun, I cannot believe that you let yourself get married to a Pantherinae.”

“Oh, you think I was all hyped and stoked to marry a filthy Lycan?” Kai shoots back, pulling away from the wall. “Look. I would not have strode in here all by myself if I wanted a war with you.”

“You _didn’t_ stride in all by yourself,” Kris spits. “You’ve got a trump card, don’t you?” he jerks his hand in Sehun’s way. “And for only this reason, you married him. How much sicker can you Pantherinaes get? You manipulate someone into marrying you for political purposes? He deserves a life! He is a person! Oh, wait. When has that ever bothered you ruthless arseholes?”

There is a sudden hurt crossing Kai’s expression, but it quickly vanishes. “You’re barking up the wrong tree, man. And you are surely one to talk. Didn’t your pack members intrude into my house to attack my family the other day?!”

Adrian blinks at Kai in confusion, anger dissipating into bafflement. “What are you talking about?” he asks Kai.

Kai cocks an eyebrow at Adrian. “That… wasn’t you?”

“We were coming for my brother, but you got here before that. None of my pack went to your place.”

Kai stiffens for a moment. “Oh.”

“This is unbelievable,” Kris shakes his head, turning to the table to pin his hands atop it. “We are having a conversation with a fucking Pantherinae.”

“Yeah, I’m surprised as well, that a dog could have a civil conversation.”

“You Pantherinaes never quit whining, do you?”

“At least we don’t have ticks and smell like a wet carpet.”

“Are you not going to do something about this?” Sehun asks the woman, who is called Thea. She is smirking, looking like she is trying to stifle an amused laughter.

She shakes her head. “I am enjoying this.”

“Okay, that’s quite enough,” Adrian sighs, rising to his feet. “Sehun,” he breathes out and Sehun stands up, staring at Adrian with eyes full of hope. “Do you really think this will work?”

Sehun does not know that for sure. But he will never want to put Adrian in danger. He nods his head. “Please, Adrian. I want to give this a chance.”

Adrian lets out a heavy sigh, pulling Sehun into an embrace. “You are here with me now. That is all that matters to me right now,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of Sehun’s head. “I am thankful to you for bringing him here,” he says to Kai. “Enough of all of this. I might not be able to flip a switch and become fond of Pantherinaes immediately, Sehun. I cannot forgive them. And I will not be friends with your… husband. But I’ll try. For now,” he turns to Thea. “Let’s get drunk and celebrate tonight, shall we? My brother’s home.”

“I’m in,” Thea chortles. “Can never say no to alcohol, can we?”

“You might want to rest and take a warm bath,” Adrian says, ruffling Sehun’s hair. “I believe we have a lot to talk about.”

Sehun smiles, the corners of his eyes brimming with tears. He does not let them fall. He does not want to part from Adrian, not even for a minute, but he does not stop his brother when he pardons himself to talk to the pack waiting outside.

“I’ll be keeping my eyes on you, kitty,” Kris spits at Kai.

“Right back at you, Pluto,” Kai snorts.

“Well, I guess I’ll show you to your room. I’m Thea, by the way,” she introduces herself to Sehun as she ushers him out of the dining room. Sehun’s stomach turns as his chest tightens. He tries to not to recollect the memories of this house. His house. The last time he was here, his parents were brutally murdered right before his eyes.

 

~*~

 

Kai feels like his nose and all of his senses hurt from all the wolf scents that are circling the inn. He is pretty taken aback by the fact that he is spared by the Lycans and is offered a place to stay. Thanks to the ring he is sporting, to be honest. He will give it to Adrian, though. He is one heck of a guy. Perhaps Kai had not anticipated him to be so relaxed about it. The guy seems more enthralled by his brother at the moment to bother much with Kai.

He wonders why Sehun did not tell his brother the truth about him being locked up by the Pantherinae who had murdered their parents and that Kai is his grandson. Most of all, why did Sehun stop his brother and the other wolves from attacking him?

Kai follows Sehun’s scent to the room and pushes the unlatched door open. He freezes at the doorway, having not expected to find Sehun stripping in the room. Sehun has his head low, eyes focused on his hands unbuttoning his shirt. Kai’s eyes deliberately drag themselves along the flawless, unblemished, milky-white chest, all the way down to the flat planes of his stomach. A thin trail of hair beneath the beautiful narrow navel disappear beyond the waistband of his skin-tight jeans.

Sehun drops his hands to his sides and that is when Kai raises his head to see that Sehun is glaring directly at him. Clearing his throat, Kai enters the room and kicks the door shut behind him. “Your brother is…” Kai starts, licking his lips. “all right.”

Sehun says nothing to it. He looks a little edgy and strung.

“Why do you look like that? Do you feel troubled about a Pantherinae standing in the same room as you,” Kai scoffs, peeling his coat off.

“No,” Sehun spits. “I don’t feel troubled about standing in a room with a Pantherinae. I feel troubled because it’s _you_.”

Kai arches an eyebrow. “I am hardly as monstrous as the other Pantherinaes you’ve come across, right?”

Sehun bites his lower lip, looking away for a moment. “Yeah. That’s what troubles me.”

Kai tries to think of something to say, but he honestly feels a little tongue-tied. What could he possibly say to Sehun to make him hate him less? “Why did you do that? Why did you… tell your brother to not to hurt me?”

Sehun scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Are you flattering yourself right now? I certainly did not do it because I care shit about you.”

Kai’s eyes wander down the Sehun’s exposed body again. “No… I don’t expect you to,” he mutters, eyes still lingering on the fair stomach. Kai doubts Sehun has ever been touched by another person at a place like that.

“My brother would have killed you. And… your Pride, maybe the other Prides, will come for revenge. I don’t need that,” Sehun says. “I want this to end.”

Kai nods his head, slowly averting his gaze from Sehun’s obscene showcase of his chest and abdomen. “Do you think your brother will see reason?”

“So long he doesn’t know who you really are,” he sighs.

“You mean… so long he doesn’t know that I’m related to the man who had a first-hand involvement in your parents’ murdering.”

Sehun’s eyes turn red, sheening with tears. “Have you no heart? I don’t want to hear it… ever again. I can’t picture my brother’s reaction when he finds out I willingly married the grandson of our parents’ murderer.”

“Sehun,” Kai lets out, extending a hand to take hold of Sehun’s wrist, but as soon as his fingers brushed it, Sehun sharply pulls away, looking daggers at Kai.

“Stop touching me like you own me.”

“But I _do_ own you,” Kai smirks.

“Not anymore,” Sehun declares.

“Oh,” Kai takes a step forward, forcing Sehun to retreat a step. “Is that so?”

“Wh-what are you… doing?” he exhales shakily as his back is pressed against the wall behind him.

Kai raises a hand and pins it to the wall by Sehun’s head. His eyes bore themselves into Sehun’s as he leans in. “You flatter yourself, too, Sehun,” Kai lets out, cupping Sehun’s chin. “You will do well to remember that you _are_ a docile Lycan. Within these four walls, you know very well that you stand no chance in defeating me. I do own you. For as long as you are married to me. Understand?”

Sehun shoves his hand away and grinds his teeth menacingly. “Go to hell.”

“Already halfway there,” Kai sneers, pulling away from Sehun.

* * *

(A/N) I love you all lots!!! Please, if you guys are into Hogwarts!au and gays and angst, check out my new (SKAM) fic and leave some love. <http://archiveofourown.org/works/9302810> Thank you sooooo much <3

 


	9. Chapter 9

Kai tries to keep his eyes to himself, but watching the Lycans clink cups and cans of beer as they drink like rude, barbaric sailors out in the open, in the cold, snowy night, is just so very intriguing to not to observe. While Kai is only accustomed to dining and drinking civilly with the Pantherinaes during formal occasions—in spite of all the high school parties he always happens to dodge—these Lycans seem rather comfortable hooking arms around necks as they swig the alcohol in huge gulps, throwing obscene and pornographic remarks at one another. But that isn’t to say they have forgotten about Kai’s presence. If anything, the alcohol seems to keep them even more alert of the Pantherinae’s company. At least no one is in their wolf form.

Sehun has politely refused to consume any when he was offered earlier, but Kai finds himself accepting the drink when Thea offers him. He supposes it is a nice gesture considering that he is an enemy among these Lycans. The one called Kris, the irritatingly cautious one, continues to keep an eye on him, as he has sworn.

Chairs and stools are placed on the field of snow outside, which is occupied by the Lycans. Kai keeps himself seated on the doorsteps of the inn, staying away from the rotten stench of the Lycans. A small campfire is built in the middle. Adrian has an arm slung around Sehun’s shoulders as he boasts proudly of how beautiful his baby brother has turned out to be, obviously thanks to a certain amount of alcohol in his system. Kai realizes that the blush on Sehun’s cheeks is not due to the cold, but due to his brother’s mouthful praises.

“You might want to keep him locked up during heat season,” one of the older Lycans coos with one too many cans of beer inside him. Kai’s eyes narrow as he fixes the fairly aged Lycan a glare. His hair and beard are streaked with more grey than black. He must be at least twice Sehun’s age. “I believe there are too many wolves here looking for a pretty little mate like yourself.”

Sehun only blushes harder and Kai’s grip tightens around the metal cup until his fingers dent it. He takes a big gulp of the alcohol and returns his attention back to the group of Lycans Sehun is sitting in.

“He’s married,” Adrian announces subtly, tightening his arm around Sehun.

“To the fucking Pantherinae!” the old Lycan spits. “It doesn’t count.”

“It does.” Much to Kai’s surprise, it is Sehun who has spoken up. “It does,” he mutters, lowering his head. “I am… happily married to him. If anything, it should prove that Lycans and Pantherinaes can indeed have peace and… affection between them.

Ah, so that’s it. Sehun is just trying to convince the Lycans that the marriage is not a fake alliance to display reconciliation between the two antagonistic kinds.

“Are you saying you are on a Pantherinae’s side?” the man questions, frowning hard.

“I’m not on his side and neither am I on yours. I’m on whatever side that will eliminate this difference between us.”

Kai notices how Adrian’s lips stretch into a proud smile.

“Well, nonetheless, if you are looking for a real man to satisfy you, boy, let me know,” the Lycan winks.

Adrian clears his throat. “It’s getting colder, Sehun. Maybe you should get inside and catch a few winks. We’ll talk more in the morning.”

Kai does not miss the way the old Lycan smirks at Sehun, scanning him from top to toe when he walks past him. Kai helps himself to a few more cans of beer to avoid Sehun as he struts into the inn.

“Easy there,” Thea says when she catches him draining another can.

“I’m fine,” he blurts out, wobbling back to the doorstep. He fixes his eyes on the ring around his finger and considers it for a long minute. Maybe he should have rethought this. Maybe he should have just listened to his grandfather only for the reason he hero-worshipped the man. He is bloody married now and he knows he cannot go back.

He raises his head when a heavy weight flumps on the step beside him. Adrian runs a huge, calloused hand through his slightly long hair as he keeps his eyes on the howling, guffawing Lycans. “Perhaps it’s about time things changed around here,” Adrian says. “I want a safe home for Sehun and if he… has been safe thus far with your kind, then maybe this is worth a shot.”

“I didn’t think you’d be the type that I could reason with,” Kai snorts, smiling to himself. “I’m glad you are.”

“Well, I’m pretty reasonable,” he faces Kai. “But you don’t want to make me your enemy, Kai. Not more than you already have.”

Kai stares into Adrian’s dark eyes for a beat and slowly nods his head. “Noted.”

Adrian huffs a heavy sigh. “If you want this accord to happen, you have to know that it’ll take an extensive effort to appease all of your prides and all of my packs.”

“We’ll start small.” He licks his lips. “Thank you.”

“I’m not doing this for you.”

Kai bows his head and frowns when Adrian tears the beer can from his hand. “What are you—”

Adrian jerks his head toward the inn’s entrance. “That’s enough for you. We can talk about the technicalities of the accord when you’re sober.”

Kai scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Trust me. If I weren’t sober, I would have walked over to that fucking old pervert and rammed his head to a tree until he bleeds through his eyes.” He bites his tongue, feeling like an idiot as soon as he had said it.

However, Adrian seems amused as he flashes a lopsided grin. “Alan’s as vulgar as they come,” he sighs. “But if you want an appeasement with the Lycans, I suggest that you _don’t_ do that.”

Kai rises to his feet and grabs onto the pillar to steady himself for a second. Maybe Adrian isn’t what Kai had expected him to be. He had expected him to be a total jackass. But it is even more irritating now that Kai _respects_ and absolutely holds Adrian in high regard.

Then sucking in a breath, he stumbles inside. His head spins in a million directions all at once. But he manages to find his way to his room, though not without tripping twice or thrice on the stairs. He rips his coat off on his way, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to take his shirt off as he spills into the room.

Sehun jolts upright on the bed, eyebrows immediately furrowing into a scowl. He collapses back onto the mattress and throws an arm over his eyes, as though to block out Kai’s entire existence. Kai does not care. The bed seems really cosy at the moment and all that he wants is to crash on it and get some peaceful sleep.

After somehow managing to writhe out of his pants, Kai climbs onto the bed in his shirt and boxers. He creeps into the warm duvet and settles his head on the soft pillow. But there is something way warmer beside him, way softer. And Kai unconsciously stretches an arm out and curls around the warm softness. _So_ soft. Kai slips his hand under the shirt for more warmth and splays a hand over the stomach.

“What are you doing?!”

The shrill cry forces Kai’s eyes open again and he frowns at Sehun, who is sitting up and glaring at him. “Huh?”

“Sleep on the floor,” Sehun orders through his grit teeth.

“What?” Kai props himself up on his elbow. “No.”

Sehun stares at him with a murderous glower. “Fine. I’ll sleep on the floor, then.” He turns to grab his pillow and Kai catches his arm.

“Jesus Christ,” he groans as Sehun rips his arm free from his grip. “All right. I’ll… go. You sleep here,” he sighs and picks up his pillow along with the blanket folded under it. He settles on the wooden floor on the blanket.

“Why are you breathing like that?!” Sehun hisses after a moment and Kai’s eyes fling open.

He lets out a miserable sigh. “Marriage is bliss, isn’t it? I can get questioned for my effort to keep on living.”

Sehun falls silent thereon.

 

~*~

 

He wakes up to the vibrant rays of sun pouring through the window and the steady sound of heartbeats. Warmth is spread across a side of his face, which is resting on a hard surface. Sehun cracks an eye open and greets the brightness with a gloomy scowl. His head rises and falls, his ear is filled with beats of a heart.

With a sudden agitation, Sehun slowly lifts his head, eyes bulging out in horror. He has a leg draped over Kai’s, arm curled around the front of Kai’s waist, his head was resting on Kai’s chest, which is exposed by the unbuttoned shirt, a moment ago. Sehun swallows, surveying Kai’s sleeping posture. His eyes are screwed shut, framed by thick eyelashes. His full, plush lips are slightly parted. He is only wearing a pair of boxers besides the unbuttoned shirt.

When the hell did he even get back into the bed?!

Sehun slowly pulls his limbs off Kai, careful not to wake him up. Not that he wants to be polite, but he definitely does not want Kai to find them like this. If only Kai didn’t look so much like Jongin, this would have been a lot more awkward and vexatious.

The sudden knock on the door startles him and apparently, Kai as well as he wakes up with a jolt, right when Sehun has successfully removed his leg and arm from Kai’s body. Kai accidentally throws an arm over Sehun’s thigh and reflexively, Sehun backhands Kai in the face as he staggers back.

“Why are you up here?!” Sehun snaps, climbing out of the bed and hastily straightens his shirt.

Kai rubs his eyes on the hilt of his palms as he sits up, leaning against the headboard. He rubs his cheek, which the back of Sehun’s hand had slammed. “Did you… did you _hit_ me?” Kai asks, blinking his eyes confusedly at Sehun.

Sehun purses his lips and slowly shakes his head. “No. No, of course, I didn’t.”

Someone knocks on the door again and Sehun spins around to get the door. “Oh, morning, Sehun,” Thea says, but she stops herself when her eyes dart to Kai on the bed. Sehun pulls the door close and clears his throat. “There are… some people downstairs. Pantherinaes claiming to know you. You might want your boyfriend to come down quick before we start ripping each other’s throat off.”

“He’s not my… boyfriend,” Sehun says in a low murmur, though Thea is already gone.

“Yeah, that’s where you’re gonna chime in?” Kai asks, peering out the window. “Shit,” he lets out and grabs his pants before hastily pulling them on.

“Who’s here?”

Kai runs his hands through his tousled hair in a hurry, but he stops at the door to face Sehun. “Do I… look like I had sex last night?”

Sehun almost chokes on his own spit as blood rushes to his cheeks.

“Never mind,” Kai dismisses him and hurries out the door.

Sehun gathers his thoughts and draws in a few breaths before he runs downstairs. The familiar Pantherinae scent hits his senses immediately. Lycans are swarming the front porch of the inn as Sehun and Kai shove past them.

“These people are not at all welcoming,” Chanyeol mumbles when Kai reaches him. Jongin looks incredibly troubled, so does Baekhyun, who clings onto Chanyeol’s arm.

“What are you doing here?” Kai asks, pulling Jongin into a brief hug.

“Great. We’re letting more Pantherinaes in here now?!” one of the Lycans cries, her tone filled with hostility.

“It’s okay,” Sehun says, but no one is listening to him.

“Am I the only bothered by the fact that they look alike?” Kris says.

“They’re twins, dumbass,” Thea replies.

“We obviously underestimated the number of Lycans we’re supposed to expect,” Chanyeol sighs. “We just wanted to see if you’re… alive.” Chanyeol, then, examines Kai up and down before glancing to Sehun. “Looks like you’re more than alive.”

Kai neatens his hair and licks his lips.

“What’s going on?” Adrian’s voice booms through the crowd as he meanders through it.

“Whoa, who’s that hottie?” Chanyeol whispers and that earns him a jab in the chest from Baekhyun.

Adrian comes to an abrupt halt when his eyes shoot to Kai and then to Jongin. He freezes for a moment, face as expressionless as a blank slate. When the moment has passed, Adrian clears his throat. “Family?” he asks Kai, who nods his head. “Come on in.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Adrian!” Alan, an older Lycan, who was incredibly rude and vulgar last night, that he almost made Sehun want to punch him. “Now you’re letting strays into our home?!”

Adrian completely ignores him and invites Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Jongin into the inn.

Alan scoffs, shaking his head when Jongin hurries past him. “Look at this bitch.” He sneers at Jongin. “Smells like a strumpet. He’s seriously letting this Pantherinae cunt into our house and no one’s gonna say anything about it?!”

Kai balls his hands into fists at once and almost turns around, but he stops when Adrian shoves past him and stomps towards Alan. Without a single word uttered, Adrian grabs Alan’s shirt collar in a clutch and drags him away from the rest. Then hauling the old Lycan forward, Adrian releases his shirt and Sehun jumps a little when his brother brutally boots Alan in the chest, sending the man crashing into the snow on the ground. That instant, Sehun witnesses the side of Adrian he has never seen before and it makes his blood begins to pound in his ears.

“It’s _my_ house,” Adrian spits through his clenched teeth as Alan looks up at him with horror in his eyes. “Fuck off.” He turns on his heel and marches back to the cabin.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who asked about their ages:  
> Kai/Jongin~ Approx. 21  
> Sehun~24  
> Adrian~33  
> Chanyeol~ Approx. 20  
> Baekhyun~ 20  
> Kris~26  
> Thea~28

He is not exactly fond of the idea of sneaking out of his own house at this hour. Primarily because he does not want to disappoint his parents by breaking the rules they have set. But he has been doing this since he was a teenager and it has now become a habit rather than a necessity. Adrian is not a rebel. He is the furthest thing from a rebel. However, breaking rules and setting them on fire happen to drive him. His little brother is not a fan of anything that might upset their parents, but Adrian is certain with age, Sehun will learn to enjoy all these little acts of defiance.

Jumping off the roof, Adrian lands on the thick pad of snow almost effortlessly. He zips his hoodie and pulls the hood over his cap before breaking into a jog. He does not plan on transforming tonight. A blizzard might be coming their way. The snow is too dense for him to cycle over it.

Choosing not to bother himself with pulling the bike out of the shed, he decides to slow-jog to his girlfriend’s house located in a secluded land not too far from here. Adrian loves these night runs. It feels like there is no one and nothing to stop him. It just him and the night.

He stops just outside Lara’s window and picks up a pebble from the flowerpot before hurling it at the window. It takes Lara a moment to peer her head out the window and Adrian stuffs his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, grinning up at her.

“Wait there,” Lara mouths and climbs out the window. If only Adrian hadn’t seen her rip into a grey wolf right before his eyes, he would have thought Lara to be a cat considering how lithe and graceful her movements are, even when leaping off the roof. “Hey, stranger,” she says, smiling ever so beautifully.

Adrian wraps his arms around her small, but well-toned body and nuzzles into her long, brown hair. “I could have climbed up there,” he says after receiving the chaste kiss Lara plants on his lips.

“Yeah, but my father…” she sighs as her brilliant smile falters.

“What now?” Adrian groans.

“He doesn’t like me hanging out with you, Ian,” she mutters, locking her arms around his neck.

Adrian shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “Well, we ought to do something about that.”

“He caught your scent in my room last night.” She pulls away from him to lean against the outer wall of her house.

“Okay, so what should we do?”

“He’s never going to let us be together, you know that, right?”

“Right,” Adrian cups a side of her face and holds it up, staring into her green eyes. “Come with me, then. We’ll leave.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

A small smile creeps onto Lara’s lips. “My, my. Are you asking me to elope with you?”

“You could say that,” he turns his cap around to cock his head and kiss her full on her pink lips. He has to arch his back considerably to reach his girlfriend, who a lot of inches shorter than him. Lara is not the perfect girl out there. But she is perfect for him—as clichéd as it may sound. Her family is loaded, yes. Her father sits up high on his horse and looks down on Lycans like Adrian. For that reason, people often isolate and shirk Lara, believing her to be some snotty little princess, too.

“Tomorrow?” Adrian whispers against her lips.

“Tomorrow?!” she blurts out, eyes bulging out.

“Yes. Let’s just leave. You and I.”

Lara bites her smiling lip and nods her head. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

“Meet me at the shack at ten in the morning, then?”

She throws her arms over his shoulders and buries her head into Adrian’s chest. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been surer about anything,” he pulls back and a presses a kiss to her forehead. “Go back inside. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I love you,” she whispers and Adrian finds himself drowning in those two green pools.

He waits until she has safely climbed up into her room and blows her kiss before spinning around to head back home. He does not really know where they will go or how they will get by, but the city sounds like a prospective place to start a new life and he will get a job soon.

He comes to a jerky halt just outside the house when the stench stings his sense. His feet freeze to ground as he examines the tyre tracks on the snow. With his blood running cold, Adrian looks ahead towards the house and stares at the open door. As his breaths rush out in gasps, he drags himself into the house. There are tracks of blood on the stairs and Adrian’s stomach instantly churns with absolute horror, which has him paralyzed.

Then with a sudden jolt, he races up the stairs and bolts into his parents’ room, only to find the two dead wolves on the floor.

Losing a family is most likely the most torturous hell one could undergo. Only those who have suffered it will know the pain, the agony Adrian has felt as he crashes to his knees and breaks into a sob. And those who haven’t will probably not understand the grief.

A grief which Adrian never wants to face again, a grief which constantly knocks at his door.

 

~*~

 

_Present day…_

He runs a hand through his hair, hoping that it isn’t too mussed. He has not the chance to even wash his face to conceal the results of last night’s unsupervised drinking and he is barely attired appropriately to have more guests.

 _Guests._ Is that what these uninvited Pantherinaes are? Adrian tries to maintain a straight face for the sake of his brother, who is not looking too pleased himself.

 _Please, take your seat,_ he wants to say out to sound polite, at least, but he could not find his voice, especially after kicking Alan out and causing a scene like that. He does not know why he had lost it. He does not want to find out. But he must have looked like a barbaric hooligan as all these Pantherinaes deem Lycans to be.

Adrian does not precisely strive to prove otherwise. He is a barbaric Lycan or at least he is forced to become one after his parents were murdered and Sehun was abducted. For a long time, he had assumed that Sehun was also dead and only recently he had heard from the pack that there is a Lycan in the care of the Pantherinaes up north of Itcara.

He must say he had not expected Sehun to show up out of the blue, married to a Pantherinae. But seeing Sehun in one piece, healthy and oh-so perfect, he could not help but feel a little proud. Maybe a lot proud. On the other hand, he wants to beat himself up for not trying hard enough to look for Sehun.

Adrian is not quite sure of how he should judge the situation. Sehun is obviously old enough to make rational choices and it does not seem like he has been forced into this marriage. Nevertheless, the fact that a marriage is possible between a Lycan and a Pantherinae boggles Adrian’s mind.

Yes, their parents were murdered by Pantherinaes. But Adrian needs a closure. He cannot live forever, beholding a grudge. It will only ruin him. Though he might not be able to forgive them, he can sure as hell try to be a good Alpha and promise the Lycans their peace. _If_ the Pantherinaes and Kai keep their word.

“Get them something to drink,” Adrian mutters to Thea, who pins him with a scowl as they stop short at the mouth of the dining room.

“Seriously? You’re acting your part of a hospitable host?” she hisses back.

Adrian sighs tiredly. “Do you want a fight with them, then?” he asks in a calm tone. Thea wordlessly stares at him. “As the innkeeper, you should be nice to our guests.”

She shakes her head in dismay and proceeds toward the kitchen. It took Adrian a while to get used to this house again. He needed money, so turning the house into an inn was a brilliant idea pitched by Kris. His sister, Thea, might sound a little grumpy at times, but Adrian has grown to learn that she can be a total softie, too.

All the memories are still very vivid, which is a huge problem for Adrian. He wants to forget. Something. Anything. And if it is possible, everything. How does one carry on living, bearing such a heavy burden every single day?

The pack had been there for him when he stood in the pine forest with nobody and a complete orphan. Thea and Kris’ parents had taken him for a while before Adrian found a job as a waiter in a café in the town. He had even built his own little cottage to live alone in the woods. He could never live here in this house where his parents were slaughtered.

The pack is everything to him now. Because he has nothing else. No riches, no real family, nothing to give. He had brawled his way up and the only reason he is an Alpha right now is because he is undefeatable by anyone in the pack. But what would it mean in the outside world? Absolutely nothing. He is not as affluent as the Pantherinaes.

Considering all that, Sehun is better off with the Pantherinaes, which he seems to have gotten quite fond with. For that reason, he believes an accord with the Pantherinaes might be a good idea. If it’ll warrant Sehun a safe home and a secure environment.

“I couldn’t reach your phone. But now that I can see what you’ve been up to, I don’t think we even needed to worry,” the taller among the Pantherinaes in the room scoffs with humour in his tone.

“It isn’t what you think, Chanyeol,” Kai groans, slumping against one of the chairs.

“You smell like sex, please,” the one named Chanyeol says and Kai coughs painfully, as though he is choked on his own breath. Adrian himself flushes, reflexively glancing over to Sehun, whose cheeks look as red as beetroots.

“Hi,” Adrian shifts to face the tiny one, who greets him with a bright smile and a hand. “I’m Baekhyun.”

Adrian accepts his dainty little hand, but pulls back quickly. A part of his wonders if he had hurt those slender fingers. Baekhyun only grins. “Adrian,” he introduces himself. “Have a seat.”

“I will. Thank you. It’s a nice house.”

He is just being polite, Adrian reminds himself. “I don’t live here, actually.”

Sehun is the first to react to the information when he looks to Adrian with a sharp gaze.

“Oh. Well, you sure do know how to leave an impression,” Baekhyun says, eyes lowering to the mandala tattoo on Adrian’s chest, which is exposed by the V-neck of his white shirt.

“Thanks for shutting up that son of a bitch,” Kai says when he notices Adrian’s presence in the room. Adrian’s eyes carefully switch from Kai to his twin brother standing in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest. Their gazes meet and Adrian holds onto it for a moment before looking away, having gone a little out of breath. His blood is pounding in his ears, stirring in his loins, and rushing to his cheeks.

“This is Chanyeol,” Kai says, clapping hand to the taller guy’s back. “My cousin. And that’s his boyfriend, Baekhyun.”

“We’ve already met,” Baekhyun interrupts.

“And as you could tell, this is my brother, Jongin,” he says, curling an arm around twin brother. Unlike Kai, the boy… Jongin… has rich dark hair and his eyes are way softer, cheeks a little pinked, even his slightly tanned skin could not hide his blush. He is scrawny, if not all bones and skin. Kai has a muscle tone, but his brother looks like he might be crushed if he is handled with a little aggression. Unlike a common docile Shapeshifter, Jongin does not reek of the scent of submission. But the fact that he is docile is well-written on his delicate form.

Adrian licks his lips and averts his gaze back to Kai. “Well, this is… um,” Kai continues, though his eyes momentarily flit to Sehun. “my brother-in-law,” he says. “Also, the Alpha.”

Chanyeol lets out a gasp before clasping a hand over his mouth. “That explains the stunt you just pulled out there!” he exclaims. “Pleasure to meet your acquaintance. Always been a big fan of the dogs. Never was part of this dumb war and never will be.”

“Chanyeol,” Kai mutters. “Zip it.”

“How long do they plan to stay here?” Kris asks when he barges into the room.

“For as long as they want, Kris,” Adrian sighs. “They won’t be trouble.”

“Not during the morning, at least,” Chanyeol snorts and points to Baekhyun at the table across him. “That one’s a screamer.”

“Oh, my god,” Baekhyun mumbles, hiding his face in his palms.

Kris arches an eyebrow at Chanyeol. “I thought you hoity-toity kittens don’t speak dirty.”

“Yeah,” Chanyeol shrugs. “I might be a kitten, but I fuck like a stallion, so…”

“Jesus Christ,” Kai grumbles, rubbing his forehead. “You just completely ruined my reputation in front of my brother-in-law.”

Adrian is barely paying any attention to the conversation while they wait for their coffee. All that he could concentrate on is Jongin, who silently takes his seat at the table, looking unbelievably uncomfortable.

“Can I… talk to you for a second?” Sehun asks all of a sudden.

They quietly excuse themselves from dining area and head towards the staircase. “What is it?”

“Be nice to them,” Sehun pleads. “They are… the kinder ones and… they’re sort of my family now.”

“This is me being nice, Sehun,” Adrian says, sighing heavily.

“You didn’t have to… you know… Alan.”

“He deserved it.”

“What if he comes back for a fight?”

“Then a fight it is, Sehun,” he brings his hands to Sehun’s shoulders. “I’m… happy that these people are your family now.”

“You are also my family, Adrian,” Sehun whispers, frowning.

Though he smiles, something inside him breaks. Again. “You didn’t tell me your husband had a twin.”

Sehun cringes for a second and then heaves a sigh. “Jongin is… the kindest person I know. Probably the only one who was kind to me.”

Adrian’s eyebrows furrow into a frown. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing. I just… He’s my friend. For a long time, he was my _only_ friend. I might have not even survived if it weren’t for him.”

Adrian smiles in awe. “A Pantherinae who’s _that_ kind to a Lycan? That is quite fascinating.”

“Yeah…” he pauses. “Maybe you should take a shower,” Sehun flashes a lopsided grin. “You smell and look horrible.”

“Ditto, brother,” Adrian ruffles Sehun’s hair before climbing up the stairs. “I’ll be back shortly.”

“Wait.” Adrian turns around. “You don’t live… here?”

Adrian shakes his head. “This really is an inn, Sehun,” he smirks. “I live not too far from here, though. Closer to the Frost River.”

“You’re not… married?”

“Do I look married?” he laughs. “You beat me to it.”

“But… what are you, like, forty now?”

Adrian cocks an eyebrow. “Just because I’m trying to be nice and mature here, it doesn’t mean I won’t bury your head in the snow, you know.”

Sehun grins to himself. “Get married soon, then. I’d like to play with some babies.”

“Something tells me you’re gonna be playing with your own soon.”

Sehun’s smile instantly falters as something grim crosses his expression. Then managing a small, insincere smile, he turns around and heads back towards the dining room, leaving Adrian to contemplate that reaction.

He never wants to lose anyone dear to his heart again. Not because he will crumble into misery, not _only_ because of that, at least. But because if he did, this time around, he fears he will not be able to control his demon and perhaps this time, he might end up killing more than just tens of people.


	11. Chapter 11

“I know you’ve only been gone for a couple of days, but we missed you already!” Chanyeol announces dramatically after downing the coffee in gulps, without paying the heat any mind, as soon as the Lycans have left them to themselves in the room.

“Uh, we only met him a few days ago after years of not seeing him. It’s not like he’s been living with us forever,” Baekhyun says with a sceptical eyebrow raised.

“All the more reason to miss him, baby! And I’m sure he missed us just as much,” he beams at Kai, smile and eyes full of hope.

“You need to leave,” Kai urges, slamming his hands on the table.

Chanyeol blinks at him. “Well, so much for brotherly love.”

“No, no,” he sighs and lowers his voice before continuing. “I have everything under control and the big bad wolf you just met—well, he doesn’t know the full story and I’d like to keep it that way.” He looks to Jongin, who is staring at the wall with his bottom lip curled between his teeth. “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

Jongin shifts his attention to his brother and tugs at his coat. “How have they not hurt you?” he asks. “There are so many of them.”

“Because I’m married to their Alpha’s baby brother and I believe they don’t want to kill their little pup’s new husband,” he pauses for a moment. “So, you must leave. _Now_. Before they convince Adrian that you’re all a threat.”

Jongin rises from his seat with a frown etched to his eyebrows. “You… haven’t told anyone about who you really are? Sehun hasn’t told—”

“No,” Kai hisses. “Keep your voice down. Your skinny little friend and I have an agreement to not to tell anyone until an accord is reached.”

“First time I’m hearing someone refer to their sexy better half as _your skinny little friend_ ,” Chanyeol scoffs and softly chuckles, though no one else shares his amusement.

“You’re… lying to him,” Jongin lets out in disbelief. “The… Alpha. He’s Sehun’s brother, right? What happens when he finds out that you lied to him?!”

Kai hushes him again. “There’s a difference between lying and choosing not to divulge a matter for the better, Jongin.”

Jongin’s frown transforms into a judgmental scowl. “That’s not right, Kai.”

“I know. But for the time being, the course of action requires some secrecy. Even Sehun understands that.” Kai stops himself when Sehun enters the room again. His face is twice as ashen and crumpled with disgust than when he went after Adrian a moment ago. “Speak of the devil,” Kai mutters under his breath.

“You all right?” Jongin asks Sehun with a gentle smile plastered to his face.

“Never been better,” Sehun says in a low, humourless murmur and glowers in Kai’s way. “Why are you here?”

Jongin dodges the question and says, “So… your brother, huh?”

A smile takes form on Sehun’s lips. One of the few genuine ones Kai has seen. “He’s alive,” Sehun whispers and accepts the embrace Jongin offers. Kai lets out a heavy breath and looks away, gripping the edge of the table. “I have a family, Jongin.”

“I’m so,” Jongin pulls back and clasps his hands to the sides of Sehun’s face. “happy for you.” There is a sudden change in Jongin’s expression. “You won’t come… back, then.”

Sehun licks his lips, hanging his head. “I’ll visit you.”

Kai arches an eyebrow, but before he could protest, Thea and Kris saunter into the room, both wearing a similar strained smile. “We apologize for the way we acted earlier,” Thea says. “Adrian believes you are good people, regardless of what your disgusting and monstrous ancestors have done in the past. He’s right. It’s about time we put this childish fight behind us and start looking forward to a better, peaceful future.”

“That’s the spirit!” Chanyeol chimes and jolts up to his feet before yanking Thea into a hug. Thea grimaces and shoves him back with a grim look on her face. “See. I don’t mind hugging you even if you smell like a wet carpet.”

“Don’t push your luck, litter box,” Thea says, trying to smile, but it just looks so forced that Kai almost snorts at it. “You are welcomed to have lunch with us. Adrian said he’d like that.”

“We’ll be honoured, too,” Baekhyun says, polite as ever. Sometimes, Kai wonders how someone as plain-spoken and brash as Chanyeol, who has never been afraid to call a spade a spade score someone as sophisticated as Baekhyun. Sometimes, Kai also wonders if Chanyeol has a bit of a Lycan blood running in his veins.

“Great. Kris and I will whip up something. Oh, I’m Thea and this is my brother, Kris.”

Kris does not wait to be acknowledged as he spins around and storms out of there.

Thea purses her lips for a moment, sighing at her brother. “We run the inn,” she says after a while. “And that one has a temper bigger than his ego.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Chanyeol says.

With a nod of her head, Thea leaves the room.

“This place is fantastic, though,” Baekhyun remarks, glancing out the window.

“The forest is even better,” Sehun says as he continues to smile as though he is reminiscing a fond memory. Kai scowls.

“I need to change,” he blurts out. “I’ll be back in a second. Try not to start a war while I’m gone, Chanyeol.”

“I’ll keep him in check,” Baekhyun avows.

Chanyeol curls an arm around Baekhyun’s waist and pulls him close. “You always do,” he smirks for a moment and the next, his mouth is full on Baekhyun’s.

“Get a room,” Jongin sighs, attempting to distract himself with a mug of coffee.

“I might just do that,” Chanyeol mumbles against Baekhyun’s mouth, not caring for shit about who is watching as he continues to kiss him.

Rolling his eyes, Kai hurries out the dining room and grabs Sehun’s arm on his way out. “Urgh!” Sehun growls in vexation and yanks his arm free. “Quit doing that!” he hisses through his grit teeth.

“Why? Scared it’ll bruise?” Kai shoots back in a harsh whisper. “If you just did everything that I ask you to do, I wouldn’t need to do that.”

“Why would I do _anything_ that you ask me to do?!” he snarls like a pup ready to bite the hand of the man that touched his food.

“Well, for one,” he raises his hands and points to his wedding band. “I’m your husband. Two, I’m stronger than you. Three, I’m smarter than you. Four, I’m the leader of a Pride. Five, you’re living off _my_ money. Six—”

“You’re a patronizing arsehole,” Sehun finishes it for him.

Kai grits his teeth. Of course, he does not think Sehun should do everything he tells him to do because of those reasons, but it is fun to get a reaction out of the easily frustrated Lycan. Give it a few more days and this might become Kai’s favourite hobby.

Annoying Sehun until he becomes all red and flustered.

“That too,” Kai smirks. “I need to speak with you. So, you can either follow me on your own or I will forcefully drag your perky arse you up there.”

Sehun follows him back to their room without any protest, which Kai is utterly grateful for. As soon as they are in the safety of their rented room, Kai shuts the door and espies the unmade bed, which he does not recall climbing back into after Sehun had thrown him down on the floor last night. He actually does not remember much. But he surely knows for a fact that _nothing_ happened between them on that bed. He was far too rat-arsed and half seas over to lift a finger, let alone fuck someone. Even someone as tempting as the soft Lycan, who’s all bark and no bite. He knows nothing had happened.

Though the worried look on Sehun’s face as he idly stares at the bed suggests that the Lycan has his doubts. Kai smirks to himself, deciding to have a little fun with it.

He hides the smirk and says, “You okay?”

Sehun turns around and faces him with a frown. “Why did… Chanyeol say that you… smell like… you know…” he trails off, biting his lip.

Kai cocks an eyebrow. “Smell like… what?”

“Like…” he pauses as his cheeks turn crimson. “Like… you know.”

“Sex?”

“Shh!” Sehun rasps and Kai flinches back, feeling a little startled. “Yes… that.”

“Why… do you have a problem with… _sex_?”

Sehun swallows hard, glancing back to the bed. “But we didn’t do anything.”

Kai bites back on a chuckle. “What do you mean?”

Sehun blinks at him in confusion. “Huh?”

“Huh?”

“What?”

“We can talk about us having… _that_ later. But I have more pressing matters to discuss with you right now.”

“No, no, no. Nothing happened last night,” Sehun says in a haste, eyes full of worry. Kai almost smiles. “Right?” he looks back to the bed and then to Kai again.

“You… don’t remember?” Kai fakes a gasp. “Are you for real?”

Sehun blankly gawks at him for a minute before shaking his head ferociously. “No. You’re lying.”

Kai finally gives in and breaks into a guffaw. “You think I would sleep with you? Please, don’t flatter yourself.” He brushes past Sehun and grabs a towel before unbuttoning his shirt.

Sehun lets out a sigh of relief and flumps on the edge of the bed. “You’re the worst. God… I would have hung myself if something had happened.”

Kai freezes as his blood runs cold. He could not help but gape at Sehun in horror. Then dropping his hands to his sides, he walks over to Sehun, all fun and exhilaration drained from his soul. “What did you say?”

Sehun looks up at him with a pair of glaring eyes. He rises to his feet. “I don’t detest you touching me because I’m afraid it’ll bruise. I detest it because it feels like a spider crawling on my skin.” Every word is glossing with venom as he speaks. “That’s how much I hate you. I find you intolerable. You are absolutely abhorrent. So, do me a favour. If I ever surrendered to a situation like that due to my weakness and vulnerability, be sure to kill me as soon as you’re done.”

Kai gulps the lump that forms in his throat. His stomach turns and his heart clenches. “So if I had indeed fucked you last night, you would want to be dead by now.”

“Without a doubt,” he spits. “But I would have tried to kill you first.”

“Why so angry all the time? Is it the ticks or the lice?” Kai sighs, trying to conceal the hurt in his heart.

“Mock all you want, but I’m not the one who is flattering myself here.” His eyes are burning with the purest form of hatred and Kai is honestly dispirited by it that he could not come up with words to defend himself. “You’re just like your grandfather, no matter how hard you try to be different. All you Pantherinaes are the same. Didn’t your father run away to save his own arse? Isn’t that why you never talk about him? Or is it something your mother did?”

That is the last straw.

Kai’s hand flies up and the back of it strikes the side of Sehun’s face with a merciless force that almost detached Sehun’s head from his body. And before Kai even realizes it, his hand clutches around Sehun’s neck, shoving the Lycan back until his head slams against a wall and body is pinned against it. Kai bares his fangs and roars loud enough for his warning to resonate down Sehun’s throat.

“Don’t fucking think you can talk about either of them, you spineless worm!” Kai growls, hand tightening around Sehun’s neck until the supply of oxygen is cut off and Sehun begins to suffocate. He claws at Kai’s hand and chest, trying to shove him away, but to no avail. Kai observes Sehun’s eyes change colours as he struggles to fight Kai off. “Another word and I will rip your head off before you could catch your next breath, you bloody bitch.”

Upon releasing Sehun’s neck, Kai takes several steps back to stop himself from hurting Sehun any further. As he desperately paces around the room to calm himself, Sehun slides down the wall, cheeks stained with uncontrollable tears and he sobs into his knees, hugging them to his chest.

Sweat trickles down Kai’s chest as he pants hard, rubbing his forehead. “You think I ruined your life?!” Kai shouts with a ferocity that shudders Sehun into silence. “You fucking ruined mine! I was kind to you! I showed you respect even when your filthy swine arse deserved none! I am not to be blamed for my grandfather’s crimes! But if you want to see me be him so bad, then fucking fine.” He marches back to Sehun and grabs Sehun’s arm, hauling him up to his feet. He glares right into Sehun’s watery eyes and snarls. “You want to see the worst of me? I’d be glad to put on a fucking show for you.”

There is a sudden knock on the door. “Sehun?” Thea calls on the other side of the door. “Is everything all right?”

“You’re going to get out there with a smile on your face, understand?” Kai hisses under his breath, his gripping tightening around Sehun’s arm that it would surely leave a bruise now. “And you’re going to say a polite goodbye to your brother and his friends. If you do anything besides that, I will wage a war on solely your brother and his pack. That’ll leave you an orphan again. So, I suggest you do what I tell you to do.”

“Sehun?”

Sehun, still a sobbing mess, rips his arm free from Kai’s grip and tears the door open. Thea gawks at him with wide eyes and without uttering a word, Sehun shoves past her and breaks into a sprint.

Grunting in dismay, Kai balls his hands into fists and hurries after the puerile little Lycan. However, he is forced to a halt in his tracks when Adrian shows up and Sehun runs straight into Adrian’s arms, bursting into louder sobs.

“Sehun,” Adrian gasps, shirtless and hair dripping wet from a shower probably, and clad only in a pair of sweatpants. He envelopes his arms around his weeping brother, offering him all the protection he needs. Kai clenches his jaw and sucks in a few breaths.

God, what has he done…

“What happened?” Adrian inquires, but Sehun relentlessly sobs into his tall brother’s chest. Sehun raises a hand and points a finger to Kai.

_Shit._

“What did he… do?” Adrian asks, blinking in shock as he strokes Sehun’s hair.

“Hurt him,” is all that Sehun manages to say between his sobs and Adrian’s expression immediately turns murderous. Kai gulps as his senses finally return to him and all the anger has dissipated.

“Did he hurt you?” Adrian asks and Sehun, that little tattling rat, nods his head. Adrian tips his brother’s chin up and his jaw falls slacking when he notices the bright red cheek which Kai had hit. He shifts his bestial sharp gaze to Kai.

Kai braces himself for a brutal blow when Adrian pulls away from Sehun and stomps towards him, a red ring forming in his eyes, hands clenched into fists at his sides, chest heaving with viciousness.

“A man hitting a weaker person, especially one that trusts him, is no man at all,” Adrian spits and grabs Kai by his shirt collar before hauling him downstairs.

“What’s happening?” Chanyeol gasps when Adrian drags Kai past him at the bottom of the stairs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait!”

Adrian stops for no one as he lugs Kai outside and shoves him into the snow. Crashing on it, Kai quickly pulls himself up to his feet. He does not plan on putting up a fight. He deserves a beating for losing control and hitting Sehun.

“Adrian, what happened?!” Kris squawks at the back while Adrian snarls, his damp dark hair curtaining face.

“I should have known better than to trust you Pantherinaes!” Adrian growls, his eyes beaming red now. Kai’s heart begins to hammer against his chest, though he does not do anything to defend himself. He staggers back and gasps for air when Adrian’s fist finally meets his face.

“Stop!” he could hear Jongin screaming as he pushes past the spectators.

“Fight me, you git!” Adrian spits, another one of his fists encountering Kai’s skull.

“Can someone stop this?!” Baekhyun cries.

“I’m enjoying this,” Kris says with a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kai is sorry. He really is. But he knows he shouldn’t be apologizing to Adrian, but to Sehun. He deserves this.

Sehun finally makes an appearance and he gawks at the scene like he has seen a ghost. He runs to his brother and grabs his arm. “Enough, Adrian,” he pleads. “Don’t—”

Adrian swings his arm for another blow, but his fist strikes Jongin’s face instead when he jumps in to stop the one-sided brawl. Taking the blow in Kai’s place, Jongin is sent crashing into the snow and both Kai and Sehun gasp out his name in unison, dropping to their knees to aid him. “Jongin!” Kai crows as Jongin pushes himself up to a sitting position with blood oozing down his nose unchecked until his entire mouth is nothing but bloody. “Fuck,” Kai lets out and takes Jongin’s face into his hands. “Are you all right?”

Jongin shakily nods his head and looks up at Adrian, who is frozen to the ground and is staring at Jongin in horror.

“I… I’m s-sorry,” Adrian mutters nervously and lowers to a crouch to help Jongin up, but Jongin deliberately flinches away from his touch and clings onto Kai and Sehun’s shoulders instead. “I… I didn’t mean… to.”

“Yeah, neither did I,” Kai spits. “I swear… I didn’t want to hurt your brother.” He inspects Jongin’s broken nose for a moment. “I think we can say that we’re square now.” He could not help but scowl at Adrian, though he is the one at fault here.

But Adrian looks far too guilty to argue with him right now. “Let’s bring him inside,” he offers and even extends a hand for Jongin to take, but shirking it coldly, Jongin lets Kai help him walk back into the cabin.


	12. Chapter 12

Hesitant to enter the kitchen where the fuss is starting to ebb, Kai remains at the mouth of it, arms crossed over his chest, which is full of regret and an indescribable amount of shame. He knows what he has done and he darn well knows the consequences of his actions. If he hadn’t already blown the chance of any accord between the Lycans and Pantherinaes, the look Adrian had given him a moment ago as he accompanied his little brother upstairs certainly assured Kai that he is on the brink of losing a good opportunity for peace.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Thea tries to press a pack of ice to Jongin’s not-so-broken nose while her brother, Kris continues to vent, pacing all over the kitchen. Chanyeol and Baekhyun hardly seemed to be out of the horror they had been in earlier in the morning when they disappeared through the back door to catch a breather several hours ago. The day has quickly faded into a dark evening and Kai can only hope Chanyeol and Baekhyun are not Lycan dinner this evening. He does not think he needs to worry, though. Chanyeol is a rather capable Pantherinae, almost as good as Kai himself. He has no doubt that Chanyeol could  take care of himself and his lover. Adrian and Sehun haven’t been seen for hours either and Kai does not have the courage to head upstairs to check on them.

“Why are they still not gone?!” Kris yaps, nostrils flaring with irritation.

Thea dismisses him with a click of her tongue. It is fascinating to see how quickly she has warmed up to Jongin with just a few gentle smiles and a handful of grateful nods from the docile Pantherinae. But then again, anybody could warm up to Jongin within seconds. It is a trait Kai wishes he had inherited.

“How is that?” Thea inquires, handing Jongin a towel to wipe his face. “Twice a day should do.”

“I’m actually quite fine. Don’t trouble yourself for my comfort,” Jongin says with a reassuring smile.

For the first time, Kai sees a tender and genuine smile form on Thea’s lips. “It is no trouble at all. I’m sure Adrian is terribly sorry for what he did.”

Jongin casts his eyes low, fingers fidgeting with the icepack. “Do tell him not to worry. I’m not that hurt.”

“Great,” Kris says through his teeth. “Now, we’re making conversation!”

“Kris,” Thea rises to her feet. “Go be useful. Get some firewood, would you? And Jongin, I hope dinner was satisfying.”

“It was. Thank you, Thea,” Jongin says, flashing that puppy grin again.

The backdoor springs open and startles most of the members occupying the kitchen before Chanyeol and Baekhyun spill in. “Ahoy!” Chanyeol greets dramatically and pulls his coat off. If only Kai were in the mood, he would have rolled his eyes so hard at Chanyeol’s swollen, red lips and the fresh glow on his face. No doubt they have snuck out for some intimacy. It sometimes boggles Kai’s mind. They have been together for what seems like forever and they still act like they had fallen in love only yesterday. It is admirable. And sad since Kai will never experience anything like that.

He wonders if Sehun covets such things and quickly dismisses the thought. If there was any chance of them warming up to each other, Kai had blown it too.

Baekhyun looks a little tired, but otherwise peppy as always. “Something smells good,” he says, poking around the kitchen. It is odd to see how fast he and Chanyeol have considered himself to be part of this family while Kai still feels like an outsider despite being married to it.

“Not as much as you,” Chanyeol remarks, never hesitating to put a voice on his thoughts. No matter how inappropriate they are. “How’s your nose?” he inquires Jongin in a sudden serious tone.

“I’m all but fine,” Jongin assures him and Thea. “If not a little sleepy,” he sighs.

“I’ll go get your rooms ready, then. There’s still two available, luckily for you.”

“Good,” Jongin says. “I would not want to even dream of sharing a room with Chanyeol and Baekhyun. No offence.”

“None taken,” Chanyeol laughs. “It’s a compliment.”

Thea chuckles despite herself. “There is food ready on the table, if you feel like eating,” she says to Chanyeol. “Kris, come help set the rooms straight,” with that, she excuses herself. She does not pay Kai any mind as she strides away.

“You have all lost your mind! One moment, you’re fighting and the next, you’re all giggling and making beds for them!” Kris continues to squawk out his disapproval of his sister’s behaviour.

“You can at least be a little compassionate,” Baekhyun says, a frown etched to his eyebrows. “You might be a mighty Lycan, but part of you is still human, isn’t it? Your Alpha did hurt two of us for no apparent reason. We’ve all had a long day.”

Kris glares at him, but finds nothing to say in return.

Chanyeol dips his finger into the spaghetti sauce and sucks it. “I would listen to him if I were you. Tiny he may be, but so is peppercorn. Both can be a pain down the throat,” he says, smiling sympathetically in Kris’ way.

“You’ll pay for that,” Baekhyun notes his boyfriend. “But later.”

“Can’t wait!” Chanyeol coos.

Groaning Kris storms out of the kitchen, fast enough that he does not even notice Kai’s presence. When Kai chooses to finally enter the kitchen, Chanyeol and Baekhyun take the hint and leave the brothers alone.

“How are you doing?”

Jongin presses his lips into a thin line and stands up from his seat. “I am little tired of answering that question every ten minutes since morning. Contrary to what you all seem to believe, I am not a fragile little glass that could break at touch.”

Kai heaves a sigh. “It is my fault.”

“Why don’t you enlighten me _why_ is it that it’s your fault?” his eyes narrow and his jaw clenches. Kai falls silent, gnawing on his lower lip. “You lost it. Again. Didn’t you?” Jongin asks in a low voice. “Kai, you can’t keep doing this.”

“Did Sehun tell you?”

“Yes, he did. And can you blame him for it? He never thought you could be as abusive,” he hisses quietly.

“Please, Jongin,” Kai hates that his tone sounds like he is begging. But maybe he is. “I already feel guilty enough. I don’t need you rubbing salt on it.”

Jongin takes a step closer, but stops short in his tracks. “You have to try to control yourself. I’m sure whatever that Sehun said or did to you must have triggered you. But he isn’t your enemy. He isn’t a threat. You need to convince yourself of it. Otherwise… you’re just going to hurt him. Just like how you hurt our father.”

Kai bites his tongue hard enough that he could taste blood. “I would never.”

“You would even hurt _me_ if I triggered you.”

“I would not go that far, Jongin,” Kai snaps. “Not again. Not when it concerns you or… him.”

Jongin does not seem convinced as he continues to frown at his brother. “How long have you been trying to suppress it again?”

“I don’t know,” Kai mutters. “He already thinks I’m a monster. He has been thinking so ever since he saw me kill that Lycan that attacked us. This does not make any difference.”

“I don’t want Sehun hurt. Physically or emotionally,” Jongin states firmly. “If you don’t think you can handle the beast inside you, then it’s best that you stay away from him.”

“I won’t hurt him again. I won’t… lose it again. I promise.”

Jongin sighs. Silence hangs between them for a moment. “Have you eaten yet?”

“I lost my appetite some time ago,” Kai mumbles, rubbing his temples. “I don’t know how to face him.”

“Be forthright about it,” he finally manages a smile. “I’m not sure what you think of him, but he is the kindest person I know.”

“I’ll try not to be offended by that,” Kai smirks. “But _you_ are the kindest person _I_ know.”

They hear heavy footsteps approaching the kitchen and fall into silence before Adrian appears, finally clad in a simple white, long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. He clears his throat, eyes bouncing from Jongin to Kai.

Kai immediately feels hot with embarrassment. He is not really sure why he wants to impress Adrian, as though he longs for Adrian’s blessings. He has decided that he holds the older man in high regard and disappointing Adrian today brings shame to him, though Kai has never really cared about impressing anyone before this in his life.

“We’re not square,” Adrian says in a deep voice, his deep dark eyes full of spite. “But Sehun says it is a simple misunderstanding and he begs me to forgive you. Still,” he pauses. “I will not tolerate any sort of abuse, not only when it concerns my brother, but generally anyone. Sehun is sorry for hurting your feelings apparently. He insists that there is fault on both sides. Whatever that he might have said, it is no reason for you to raise your hand. Especially not to someone who has followed you, trusting you. Are we clear?” he does not raise his voice, he is not shouting, he does not seem angry or wrathful as he speaks. He sounds like a disappointed father, correcting his son and making sure the mistake does not happen again.

And Kai, feeling like he is kicked, nods his head. “I truly am sorry and I promise it won’t happen again.”

“You don’t have my pardon,” Adrian says sternly and Kai nods to that, too. “And I won’t let him go alone with you when you leave here. If it is not too much trouble, I would like to pay a visit to your place and see how things are.”

“It is no trouble at all. By all means, you are welcome to our home at any time you want.”

Adrian licks his lips, his gaze shifting to Jongin now. Jongin has withdrawn himself to the sink counter with his back turned to Adrian. Kai realizes that Adrian might need a moment to apologize to Jongin for the accidental mishap as well, so he says his goodnights and proceeds upstairs with his heart pounding in his chest.

 

~*~

 

An apology bubbles up in his chest, but he worries about how to put it into words as he approaches the sink counter. The kettle whistles as steam erupts out of it. Adrian turns the kettle off and licks his lips, trying to muster the courage to speak. He grabs a mug and a teabag, pinning Jongin with a sidelong glance as Jongin continues to stare out the kitchen window. Jongin is hardly a boy on the brink of manhood and Adrian is not sure why his stomach aches in anxiety. _Just spit it out, for god’s sakes!_

“I—”

“He _really_ is sorry,” Jongin cuts him off. Adrian swallows and nods, pouring water from the kettle and into the mug. “He is not a bad person. Please, try to forgive him.”

“I believe you’re good friends with Sehun. So, you should be able to understand how painful it must have been for him.”

Jongin frowns and Adrian finds it ridiculously weakening. His muscles suddenly feel taut and tired. “My brother isn’t a monster. Won’t you get defensive when you’re amidst threat? It is the same for him, only tenfold.”

“Sehun is hardly a threat if he’s married to him.”

“I understand,” he sighs. “All I’m asking is for you to give him another chance. Don’t we all have our flaws? Don’t we all wish we were someone else?” there is a thick sadness behind his voice and Adrian decides to let it drop for the night.

“I will try to give him another chance.” He hands Jongin the mug. “Hope you like chamomile.”

Jongin mirrors Adrian’s smile as he accepts the mug. Their fingers linger for a very brief moment. “Love it,” he says. “Thank you.”

“It’s the only thing I can make,” Adrian scoffs, leaning against the counter.

“Oh. Thea is the one who cooks?”

“Yes. The inn’s closed at the moment, but when it isn’t, she is the one who runs the place.”

“You’re the owner, then?”

“I am.”

Jongin takes a sip of the tea and hisses when it burns his tongue. “Ouch,” he laughs. “It’s good.”

Adrian could not stop himself from smiling. He surveys Jongin from top to toe. Jongin somehow looks younger than Kai. He is notably younger than Adrian, that is quite obvious. Based on what he has heard from Sehun, Jongin must be more than a decade younger than Adrian himself. His scent strikes Adrian dumb to the extent he finds it a little hard to breathe.

Jongin taps on the mug, sucking on his burned lip. Adrian tries to keep his eyes from staring at the reddened lip and fails miserably. His heart is racing and he does not know how to stop his brain from imagining the obscenities he could never utter.

“Are you not… married?” Jongin asks, as though to make conversation.

Adrian clears his throat and cards his fingers through his hair. “No, I’m not.”

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping my boundaries. I’ve heard Lycans settle down at a young age.”

“Is that your way of saying I’m ancient?” Adrian couldn’t help a smirk.

“Oh, god, no, no, no,” Jongin blurts out, looking flustered and Adrian finds it unbelievably endearing. “That is not what I mean. You can’t be much older than 25.”

“That is flattering,” he laughs. “But I’m almost 33.”

Jongin genuinely looks surprised. “Okay, you are a little ancient.”

“You know how to break a man’s heart, Jongin.”

Jongin grins and raises the mug to his lips before crying, “Ow!” when the tea scorches his lip again. “I forgot…”

Adrian tears the mug away from Jongin’s hand and settles it on the counter. “Um… I believe I owe you an apology.”

“No, it’s fine. You didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Still. It was wrong of me to hit your brother before your eyes. I apologize for that, too.”

“He deserves a beating once in a while,” he shrugs and furiously sucks on his bottom lip, leaving it red and glistening with his saliva.

Adrian’s ability to rationalize betrays him that instant when he steps into Jongin’s personal space and presses his lips to Jongin’s swollen, reddened lip. He feels Jongin freeze into the kiss. Adrian almost tongues Jongin’s lip, but he manages to come back to his senses promptly and he pulls away as if the kiss had stung him.

“I’m sorry,” he rasps, desperately looking away as blood rushes to every part of his body. When he glances to Jongin, he finds the boy dazed and gawking at him in shock. “I don’t know… why I did that.”

“It… it’s okay,” Jongin exhales shakily, dropping his gaze.

“You look upset,” Adrian murmurs, frowning for his behaviour. “I… I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I don’t know what had gotten into me.”

“I should go,” he says and practically runs away from Adrian.

 

~*~

 

What should he say? What _must_ he say? Adrian is right. Raising his hand to Sehun is not forgivable, but if only Kai had been able to control himself and think rationally for a moment. He could not. He could tell Sehun the truth, but then what? Sehun would be afraid of him forever and might never let him close again. He might even forgive Kai for hitting him, but he will never forgive Kai for being such an abomination.

Kai is not sure why that thought hurts his chest, just a tiny bit. Every word that had come out of Kai’s mouth is a sore lie. He is not the one who is doing Sehun a favour. If Sehun knew the truth about him, it would be Sehun who will be doing Kai a favour by accepting his sickening existence. That is if he chooses to accept it at all.

He raises his fist to the door, but hesitates to knock at first. His mouth tastes bitter. If Sehun is awake, he would know Kai is standing on the other side of the door right now. He would know Kai is reluctant to enter because he does not have the face to confront him.

 _Be forthright_. Kai sucks in a breath and knocks on the door. There is no answer. He lets himself in and finds Sehun by the window, standing in the dark and gazing into the night.

Kai shuts the door and rubs the back of his neck, wondering what to say. He really should have rehearsed this. He tries clearing his throat, but Sehun does not budge.

“You don’t have to forgive me,” Kai starts at last. He wants Sehun to turn around and face him, but he is also worried that he might not be able to swallow the disgust Sehun’s expression might bear. The same disgust he wore when he told Kai his touches felt like a spider crawling on his skin and that he would rather die than give himself to someone like Kai. Which is probably wise.

“But I am sorry,” Kai says, but only in a whisper. “I should not have hit you. I lost my temper… and my mind for a moment there. I’m sure you think I don’t deserve a second chance.”

Sehun lets out a heavy breath and Kai is glad that he is at least listening. “Why are you here?” he asks bluntly.

Kai blinks in confusion. “To… apologize.”

“But why? Worried about the accord? Don’t worry. Adrian still wants to do it. We haven’t jeopardized it.”

It is impossible to keep himself from frowning. “I don’t really care about the accord right now,” Kai spits. “I care about what I did to you and it is wrong. It is wrong in every sense.”

“The things that you said hurt more,” Sehun mutters, still keeping his eyes out the window.

Kai’s stomach twists in knots. “I’m sorry for that, too. I was… angry. I did not mean any of it.” He crosses the room and stops a foot behind Sehun. “They were words spat out of anger. They don’t mean anything.”

“Why do you even need my forgiveness?” his voice is shaky, though it is obvious he is trying hard to keep it steady. Kai wonders just for how long he must have been crying under the sheets. “When, like you said, I had ruined your life?”

“You’re forgetting that you said some pretty hurtful things, too. And at least I didn’t mean what _I_ said.”

Sehun sniffles and wipes a corner of his eye with the back of his hand, confirming Kai’s suspicion.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” Kai repeats and he will keep repeating it until Sehun believes it. “I am not as repulsive as you think I am, Sehun.”

Sehun shudders when Kai utters his name, possibly for the first time. “You married me a few days ago and today you called me a bitch. How am I to think otherwise?”

“Regardless of what I said, I am not my grandfather and I won’t be him. You hate me and you find me abhorrent because you think I’m like him…” he trails off for a moment. “I’m sorry that you think so. My father… is not alive. And I guess you have me to thank for that.” Kai tries to push away the ghastly images that surge into his mind. “I can’t tell you much about it now, but I want you to know that I have a story of my own, too. And it’s not so pretty. My father’s death is something that haunts me almost every day. My mother… well, she… she left everything behind. Including her own children for a while. I grew up with my grandfather when I was a kid and for a long time, he and Jongin were my only family. I will never try to justify his actions, but I’m sure you can understand the sentiment. Sehun,” he pauses, letting the name take a comfortable seat on his tongue. Kai decides he likes how the name sounds on his lips. “I almost don’t remember anything about you. But I do remember standing outside your cell, waiting for you to smile at me the way you smiled at Jongin whenever he gave you food. You’d snarl at me and turn your back to me before you’d yell ‘go away’. You never told Jongin to go away. I remember wanting to play with you one day.” Kai smiles to himself. “I had my grandfather buy me this little red ball when we went to town. He thought I wanted it for myself, but I… I actually got it so that I could play with you. My mother brought me away with her before I had a chance to bring you the ball. That is all that I remember about you.”

Sehun’s shoulders slump as his head falls.

“I’m,” Kai stops himself and sucks in a shaky breath. “sorry. I wished you hadn’t tried to stop Adrian from hitting me. I know you did it for the accord. But… I want you to know that I’m awfully sorry. And I wouldn’t blame you if you can’t forgive me or if you wanted to turn around and shoot me between my eyes.”

Sehun still does not say anything.

“I want us to be friends,” Kai continues. “It would make things a lot easier. We won’t have to pretend like we can tolerate each other, then. I would really appreciate it if we could put this behind us and… start anew.”

“I didn’t mean it either,” Sehun whispers and Kai is certain that he is silently weeping again. “I should not put the price for your grandfather’s misdeeds on your head.”

Kai’s eyes widen a little. “You didn’t mean it?”

Sehun shakes his head.

“Like… everything?”

“Everything,” he lets out.

“So,” Kai lowers his voice to a purr as he slowly slides his palm into Sehun’s. Sehun almost pulls his hand away, but he stops at a flinch and lets Kai’s fingers curl around his. Kai could hear his own heart thunder in his ears. _What am I doing, stop, stop,_ he thinks to himself. “If I took your hand,” he whispers, edging close enough for his chest to brush against Sehun’s back. “and pulled you to the bed and laid you down and asked you to give yourse—”

“I am in no mood to joke,” Sehun starts to pull his hand free, but Kai’s grip tightens around it.

“I’m not joking,” he breathes out and releases Sehun’s hand, only to drag his own hand up Sehun’s wrist and forearm. Sehun begins to shiver. “Does this really feel like a spider crawling on your skin?”

Sehun does not respond immediately. But he eventually does. With a shake of his head. “But please, stop,” he mutters under his breath and turns around to face Kai. “I’m tired.”

“So am I,” Kai sighs. “But I was serious. I would like us to be friends.”

Sehun nods his head, his eyes on the floor. “It will take some time. But I will try.”

“I don’t hate you, Sehun. I need you to start believing that.”

“I’ll try,” he says again.

“Let’s start with sleeping on the same bed, then.”

Sehun’s eyes flick up at once. “What?”

“I promise, I won’t do anything,” Kai holds his hands up in defence. “Try to trust me.”

Sehun worries his lip for a length of time and then finally agrees. “I don’t want any of your limbs touching me at any point.”

“You have my word.”

Sehun climbs into bed and Kai excuses himself to take a brief shower. He desperately needs one to cool himself off. He lets the shower run and takes himself in his hand, back pressed against the wall. He does not really know during which part he had started to harden, but the last sight of Sehun so vulnerable and sorry on the bed has left him completely erect. He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip as the warm water rains over him, his hand violently pumping his aching member to orgasm.

Perhaps it is about time Kai has started accepting the fact that he wants Sehun to look at him with the longing and hunger he has never looked at Jongin with.

He returns to the room, clad in only a pair of sweatpants. Sehun has shrunk himself on one edge of the bed, his back facing away from Kai. Licking his lips, Kai slides under the duvet and stares at the back of Sehun’s neck for a moment. Then he shifts onto his side, facing the door instead of Sehun. He tries to fall asleep, but to no avail. Some restless minutes pass and Kai buries a side of his face into the pillow, wondering what would happen if he falls in love one day. And what if it isn’t with Sehun. Or worse, what if Sehun falls in love one day and it isn’t with Kai.

“I would have said yes, by the way,” he hears Sehun say. He almost turns around, but then he feels Sehun’s warm fingers brush his shoulder blade.

“What?”

“If you had asked… and if we were not who we are. If you and I had met by chance as total strangers, things would have been different.” He splays his hand over Kai’s back and Kai, a little out of breath, flips around to face him. He searches for Sehun’s glassy eyes and holds his gaze when he finds it.

“You would have still married me?” he asks with a smirk.

Sehun rolls his eyes. “Not if you’re still such a jerk.”

“I’m flattered. But… what were you saying yes to again?”

If it isn’t so dark, Kai would have sworn Sehun is blushing. “I’m sorry I talked about your parents. Jongin told me that… your father is not around. I just assumed he left… you.”

“He did.”

“I’m… sorry.” He does not say anything more and turns his back to Kai again. “I’m still waiting for that ball, by the way.”

Kai grins to himself, staring at the ceiling.


	13. Chapter 13

The snow covers the land as far as Sehun’s vision could stretch, layers of pristine crystalline running between pine trees dusted with the early morning snow. It seems like a windless day outside, but bright nonetheless. The white blanket on the land bleaches his eyesight momentarily, though he finds himself smiling at it with a familiar fondness and warmth in his chest. The first snow day of winter is one of the very few memories he still cherishes. His body aches to gallop across the field of snow, for his paws to sink into the density of the soft snow.

He lowers his attention to the golden ring on his finger and his smile falters manifestly. He used to believe that being married to someone would entail a string of responsibilities. Though he would not deny the fact that there have been several changes in his life recently, none of them seems to burden his shoulders. Perhaps he had expected there to be more duties as a husband. Perhaps there would have been if he were married to someone he actually wants to be married to.

He glances to Kai; whose soft snores fill the bedroom. Sehun knows better than to stare at the sleeping man, but he could not help it. Last night, Sehun had confessed some things he never thought he would confide in the man. He had meant every word, though. He does think things would have been different between them if they had met as free men and as complete strangers.

Sucking in a sigh, Sehun averts his gaze. He does not know why these thoughts had invaded his mind last night, especially after the ghastly fight. He had been in the wrong. He never should have said a word about Kai’s parents, not when Sehun himself knows how painful it is to lose a family member. Perhaps that had given him a nudge to put the argument behind him and forgive Kai.

He is certain Kai was only joking last night when he had asked Sehun to bed, but a part of Sehun wishes he was not kidding. And the rest of him wishes that Kai was not who he is. He is a Pantherinae and kin to Sehun’s parents’ murderer. Though Sehun can try to accept that Kai is not his late grandfather, his conscience claws at him every time he considers Kai to be a good man.

Kai is not a good man. But he is better than most men Sehun has known in his life. He is not the worst, at least. Sehun can be certain that Kai holds a soft spot in his heart for him and for the time being, that is good enough. Now, Sehun needs to build a soft spot in his heart for Kai.

He tries to not make too much noise as he lets himself out of the room and heads downstairs. He finds Chanyeol and Baekhyun in the dining room with a stack of untouched pancakes gone cold on the table. Blood rushes to Sehun’s cheeks and he quickly withdraws himself from the dining room when he sees Baekhyun settled comfortably on Chanyeol’s lap, their mouths busying themselves atop one another.

“Thea,” he gasps when he runs into her behind the registration counter. She looks up at him from her logbook and arches a brown eyebrow. “Where is Adrian? He’s not in his room.”

“Oh, he went home, I presume,” she says with a tired sigh. “There should be some pancake batter in the kitchen. Do you want me to make some pancakes for you?”

“No, I can manage,” Sehun refuses her polite offer. Thea seemed like a tough thorn in the beginning, but she has warmed up to each and every one of them like the first ray of sun to touch the snow. “Will my brother come by later?”

Thea shrugs. “He might. He hasn’t told me anything.”

That puts a frown on Sehun’s brows. “Does he live far from here?”

“Not really. It’s near the Frost River in the forest. He built the cottage himself, you know.” There is a hint of pride in her smile.

“Why doesn’t he just live here?”

“Too many haunting memories.”

Sehun sighs. “I can understand. Do you think it will be all right for me to pay him a visit in a while?”

“I don’t think he would keep you out of his home, Sehun. He intends to bring you over there before you’ve left here, anyway. Might as well head there on your own.”

“Head where?” Kai’s hoarse voice is heard before he makes an appearance at the bottom of the stairs, pulling a t-shirt on. He eyes the shirt Sehun is attired in and cocks an eyebrow.

“I borrowed a shirt of yours. I didn’t bring any of mine,” Sehun says before Kai could remark on it.

Kai shrugs, covering his yawning mouth. “So, where are you going?”

“Sehun wants to go over to his brother’s place,” Thea mutters, returning her attention to her logbook.

“Oh,” Kai lets out, his eyes still thick with sleep. “Wait for me? I’ll come with you.”

Sehun worries his lower lip for a moment. He sees no real reason as to why he can’t let Kai come with him, but he is a little reluctant to spend more time with his so-called husband. “Yeah, sure,” he says.

“Great. Sehun will make you pancakes for breakfast,” Thea adds and Sehun pins her with a scowl.

“No, he will not,” Sehun hisses.

“That’s so thoughtful of you,” Kai says with a smirk as if he did not hear Sehun and runs back upstairs.

Sehun groans and wends his way to the kitchen. He considers not making Kai any breakfast for a moment, but as soon as he starts making some for himself, the thought of serving Kai with a hot stack of pancakes alongside some fresh mix of berries entertains him. Would Kai like that?

Sehun grits his teeth. Why must he care about what Kai likes? But he decides to make some for Kai anyway since there is enough batter for to serve three.

“Good morning.”

He spins around when Jongin enters the kitchen wearing a sombre, miserable expression on his face. His eyes are slightly red and he looks more than a little fatigued. Sehun wonders if he’s had a sleepless night.

“Morning. Pancakes?” he offers, resuming to slice the strawberries.

“No, thanks,” Jongin mutters. “But can I get some coffee?”

“I think there’s some left there.”

Jongin helps himself to the coffee pot while Sehun continues to study his strange behaviour. He has never seen Jongin this broody before.

“Are you all right?” he decides to ask.

“Yes,” Jongin says without any attempt to sound convincing, though he manages a tired smile. “Um… Is Kai up yet? Or did you two not… sleep in the same room last night.”

“We’re… sort of fine right now. On much better terms, at least. He did apologize and… I guess I was just too tired to stay angry. He said… he wants us to be friends. And he told me about this little red ball he got for me when he was young, but never had the chance to give it to me.” Sehun smiles despite himself.

Jongin’s smile stretches into a grin. “Is that why you’re wearing his shirt?”

Sehun rolls his eyes. “I wanted to borrow yours, but wasn’t sure if you had brought any spare clothes with you. Anyway, why do you look like something had kept you up last night?”

Jongin curls his bottom lip between his teeth after taking a sip of the lukewarm coffee. “What are you talking about? I’m fine.”

“Is it too strange for you to sleep here?”

“The smell is troubling, but I can manage,” he assures him and notes the two plates of pancakes Sehun is eagerly preparing. “You’re making breakfast for Kai!” Jongin gasps, flashing a toothy smile.

“I really wish you wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it. Because it really isn’t a big deal. There’s some extra batter.”

“There’s garnishing! Cute little strawberry fans and a blueberry smiley!” Jongin yaps and giggles into the back of his hand. “You’ve only done it once for me on my 18th birthday!”

“Knock it off, Jongin,” Sehun snarls and disarrays the smiley made from blueberries before getting rid of the carefully sliced strawberry fan. “There. Happy?”

“Not really,” Jongin frowns. “That was adorable. God, what did he say to you that made you take a 180-degree flip like this? That little devil, I tell you. He can make you fall in love with him in a day with his words.”

“Jongin, I can assure you, it is not what you think it is. I’m trying to be friends with him. That’s all.” He picks up his own plate of pancakes and starts to dig in.

“Okay, okay. Stop scowling, you angry puppy,” Jongin sighs, downing the rest of the coffee. “Where’s Chanyeol? And Baekhyun. I saw Thea at the front.”

“They’re in the… dining room,” Sehun gulps, wondering how beautiful it would be to warrant a love like the one Chanyeol and Baekhyun share with each other. “Adrian’s gone home. I’m going to head by his place in a moment.”

Jongin casts his eyes to the ground suddenly, shrinking into the corner of the counter. “Oh.”

“Your brother insists on tagging along,” he tries to sound as irritated as he could.

Jongin lifts his gaze and glances out the kitchen window. “Um… can I come along?”

Sehun raises a brow. “I have no objection.”

Jongin falls silent thereafter, as though he is lost in his own train of thoughts.

 

* * *

 

The cottage is smaller than what Sehun had anticipated. A sense of pride bubbles up in the pit of his stomach when he realizes every wood, every brick of the cottage has his brother’s hard work etched to it. Amidst the pine forest, the cottage a miniscule gingerbread house, with the snow caking the roof and all. He stops at the doorstep and glances back to see if Jongin and Kai have caught up. They fell behind a moment ago, engaged in a conversation Sehun was not too keen on. They are still nowhere to be seen and Sehun hopes they would be able to follow his scent.

He almost raises his fist to knock on the door when it springs open and three huge-built men exit, all halting in their tracks to gawk at Sehun in surprise. Sehun does not recognize any of them, so he steps aside politely to make way without greeting them.

“Whoa!” the tallest of them roars, shutting the door shut. His piercing blue eyes are like two gems buried in the paleness of snow. His golden hair is a little unruly, but a wonderful compliment to those icy blue eyes. “Is this Adrian’s baby brother?!”

Sehun’s cheeks heats up when he finds the man to be smirking at him.

“Yeah, that’s him,” another says. This one is slightly bigger than the blonde man with a scar in his brow. Unlike the other two men, he is a lot older and sounds a lot ruder. “The little pup that showed up with a filthy Pantherinae.”

“Now, don’t be crass, Dan,” the blonde, blue-eyed man groans. “Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met,” the man sticks a hand out, but Sehun is too stumped to accept it. “Okay,” he chuckles, withdrawing his hand. “I’m Sky. These are my brothers, Dan and Finn.”

Sehun manages a shy nod of his head. He feels incredibly small before the one called Dan.

“You know, you’re not half bad,” Dan says with a scoff. “Pretty face,” he strokes Sehun’s cheek with a calloused finger and Sehun flinches back before fixing the brazen Lycan a scowl. “When you’re done toying with that Pantherinae, ask around for my house, will you?” he smirks and leans forward. “I’ll show you how a real man can satisfy you,” he says in a low murmur before his brother, Sky, yanks him back by the jacket. “I’m very serious, honeybun. You better stop parading around like this. Plenty of bad eggs round here that would love a good taste of a wolf that hasn’t been taken yet.” He winks.

“Enough, Dan. Let’s just go,” the one called Finn snaps. Dan laughs at how flustered Sehun looks as his brothers haul him away.

“I’m really sorry for his impertinence,” Sky says with an apologetic look before he and his brothers disappeared into the trees. Sehun finally breathes with a knot in his stomach. He feels ashamed for the nth time since he showed up here. The compliments are nice, but the constant harassment from the men is a frustrating. Adrian must be in enough trouble for challenging Alan. Sehun does not wish to trouble him further with this.

“Who was that?” Jongin inquires when he and his brother finally show up.

Sehun shrugs and before he could find an excuse, the door opens again.

Adrian blinks at him, clad in a fleece shirt. He desperately needs a haircut and a shave, Sehun thinks. He will tell him later.

“I was not expecting a guest,” Adrian says with a pleasant smile, which unexpectedly vanishes when his eyes land on Kai and Jongin behind Sehun. “Guests,” he corrects himself.

Warmth radiates from within the cottage and from Adrian, drawing Sehun in. “You left without saying a word,” Sehun says, hoping it does not sound like an accusation.

“I was going to come back for lunch,” the smile returns to his face. “Come on in,” he starts to usher Sehun into the cottage, but Sehun refuses.

“I will in a moment,” he shoves Jongin into the cottage and Jongin hisses back at him when he almost bumps against Adrian, but steadies himself with his hands on the doorframe. “I… I need to talk to you,” Sehun says, turning to face Kai, who looks genuinely surprised.

Taking the hint, Adrian gives them their privacy and shuts the door, welcoming Jongin into his home.

“What is it?” Kai asks, plunging his hands into the pockets of his coat.

Sehun bites on his lower lip, wondering how he should start. “Those… men. Who were just here… One of them was… being… inappropriate.” He waits for Kai to respond, but when the latter does not, Sehun continues in a whisper. “He said he wanted to show me how a real man can satisfy me.”

There is a tug in Kai’s expression, but he quickly hides it. “So? Why are you telling me this?”

Sehun clenches and releases his jaw, huffing an exasperated breath. “Never mind.” he starts to turn around, but Kai grabs his arm.

“Tell your brother. He loves playing your protector.”

“Yeah. Maybe I’d like my husband to play my protector from now on,” Sehun spits through his clenched teeth and stops breathing for a moment when he realizes what he had just said. He wishes he could pick up the words and shove them back into his mouth.

“Oh,” Kai exhales, releasing Sehun’s arm. “You’re… telling me this because you want me to do something about it?”

Sehun frowns. “They look at me like I’m their prey. It’s… scary. And… you are… my husband. I don’t want them to look at me like that.”

“I see. Come on,” he takes hold of Sehun’s wrist and yanks him to walk away from the cottage and in the way the three brothers had gone.


	14. Chapter 14

“Is it those men?” Kai asks once they have caught up to the men. Sehun nods. “Which one’s that teased you?”

“The one in the middle,” Sehun utters under his breath, huffing a cloud of smoke as they trudge over the snow between trees.

Kai does not ask further questions and strides up to the guffawing brothers, yapping out a vicious “hey!”

The blonde man that answers to the name Sky is the first to turn around before his brothers come to a halt as well. A feeling of excitement warms up Sehun’s chest and the idea of Kai, his _husband_ , standing up to uphold his honour moves him. Adrian defending him is reasonable, considering the fact that they are brothers. Besides, Adrian has always been protective of him as far as his memories could stretch. Kai throwing a punch for Sehun would be a completely different experience. Of course, this is just one of the first steps of a blooming friendship, but the thought of Kai threatening a guy for his husband twists Sehun’s stomach—in the best way possible.

Sehun eagerly waits for Kai to land a punch on Dan’s face, but when Kai raises his hand, he greets Dan with a Cheshire grin. “Hi! I don’t believe we’ve met before. I’m Kai,” he says in a peppy tone that strikes Sehun dumb. Dan arches a thick red brow and after a reluctant moment, he accepts Kai’s hand and gives it a firm shake.

“Dan,” he says with a gruff. “You’re the Pantherinae. Adrian’s brother’s little kitty friend.”

“Pleasure to meet you lot.” Kai beams.

Dan retrieves his hand, scowling hard. “Did he come whinin’ to you and you’re here to do something about it, eh? Gonna claw me on my face, then?”

Kai scoffs hard and lets out a soft chuckle. “God, no.” Sehun could not help but glare at Kai. “I’m not exactly here for that. Hi,” he extends his hand to both Sky and Finn respectively. “I decided to host a barbeque party back at my place come Sunday. I’d be honoured if you showed up.”

“We,” Sky starts, rubbing the back of his head. “had the wrong impression of you.” He laughs nervously. “I’m Sky. Skylyr Hazeldine.”

“I’m Finn,” the other introduces himself. “His brother.” Sehun blinks at Finn, noticing for the first time that he carries great resemblance with his brother Sky, but not great enough to call them identical. His hair is a tone darker than Sky’s golden-blonde hair, his jawline is a lot more squared than Sky’s sharp jawline. But they both have two pools of identical brilliant blue eyes.

“Oh, and is this your father?” Kai asks, pointing to Dan, who grunts at him.

“Whatever that you think you’re doing, I am in no mood to make friends with you rich gits anytime soon. So fuck off,” the red-haired man spits.

Kai lifts and drops his shoulders in defeat. “All right, then. In case you change your mind,” he slips his name card into Dan’s lumberjack coat. “You men have a good day.” He turns on his heel and brushes past Sehun, who is unable to snap out of the shock.

“Come on, Dan,” Sky sighs, clapping a hand to his brother’s back. Dan, on the other hand, is sneering at Sehun. Like a predator that is about to prey on him. Sehun gulps and hurries after Kai.

“That’s it?” he rasps, grabbing Kai by his arm. “That’s your big gesture to defend my honour?!”

Kai jerks to a halt and sucks in a deep breath. “Time for you to put on some big-boy pants and stop relying on other men in your house to defend you, Sehun.”

“You’re my husband,” Sehun grumbles with vexation.

“Boy, you are very comfortable playing that card, aren’t you?” Kai snorts, shaking his head. “Especially since we don’t actually live like a married couple.”

“Wow, you’re no help at all after I made you pancakes for breakfast!”

“Is that what this is? You want me to pay you back by gutting that huge dude for some pancakes? Did you even see how big he is?!”

Sehun’s eyebrows knit into a frown. “Ugh. Forget about it,” he mutters and starts to walk away.

“Wait,” Kai sighs, pressing a hand to Sehun’s chest to stop him. He then starts to ferret around the snow, as though searching for something. Spotting a soft branch, he picks it up and hands it over to Sehun. “Here.”

Sehun probes the thickness of the stick and glances up to scowl harder at Kai. “What is this for?”

“You march up to that doucheface and defend your honour yourself. Trust me, Sehun. One day, neither your brother nor I will be around for you to tattle to. You’re not a kid, anymore. If you want revenge, get it yourself.”

Sehun arches an eyebrow and licks his lips, examining the stick again. It is an enticing idea indeed. “What if he… does something?”

“I’m still here. If he lays a finger on you, he’ll be sorry for that.” There is no mockery in his grave tone. He slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans and nods his head to his side.

Sehun draws in a sharp breath, fists the branch in his hand and starts stomping.

“Hey!” he squawks when he catches sight of Dan and his brothers.

“Fuck, what now?” Dan groans and just as he begins to turn, Sehun smacks the side of his head with every ounce of strength his arm could manage and pants hard with a sense of gratification swelling up in his stomach.

Sky clasps a hand over his mouth to muffle his giggles, bracing himself against a tree and Finn could only gawk stupidly at Dan, who looks too shocked to respond.

“Pig,” Sehun spits, trying to refrain the grin of satisfaction from showing on his lips. When he twirls around, he finds Kai with a pleased smile etched to his face, hands still in his jeans pockets. Sehun walks back to him, grinning as wide as the corners of his mouth could extend. “That felt awesome,” he lets out along with a breathy laugh.

“I know,” Kai gives him a congratulatory pat on his shoulder. “I’m proud of you. Let’s get going, then.”

Sehun nods, biting is smiling lip.

“Oh, and,” Kai says, glancing back to Dan. Sky is still chuckling at the red stripe on Dan’s cheek. “I’m his husband, by the way.” he holds up his fist and sticks his ring finger out. Sehun smiles wider when he sees the irritation build up in Dan’s expression.

He has never experienced such a fulfilment prior to this, not even a close. He has been forced to depend on the mercy of others all his life and for the first time ever, someone has encouraged him that he is capable of taking up cudgels for himself. He knows it is not anything big, but it is significant. He is not sure that he would have been this satisfied even if Kai had bludgeoned that guy.

He kicks the snow until it flutters in his way. “Adrian will be proud of me, too,” he says and catches Kai smiling endearingly at him when he looks to him behind him.

“You know,” Kai starts with his mischievous smirk returning to his face. “This will all be a lot easier if only… you know.”

Sehun blinks at him, trotting backward, facing Kai. “What?”

“I noticed how all these Lycans swoon over you. It’s probably because of your untainted scent.”

Sehun halts, cheeks growing redder and hotter. “So?”

Kai shrugs, running his teeth over his lip. “If only there was a way to get my scent all over you,” he hums, tapping his finger to his chin, pretending to be thinking hard. “Oh, wait! There is, as a matter of fact. _Sex_.” he winks.

Sehun thinks he might have exploded with shame as his face turns tomato-red. “You’re not funny,” he mumbles and picks up the pace of his strides toward the cottage.

“I’m not trying to be funny,” Kai laughs. “What’s with you and the word ‘sex’?”

Sehun slaps his hands over his ears and breaks into a jog to the cottage.

 

* * *

 

There is only so much Adrian could do to not to stare Jongin. And he is doing a poor job at keeping his eyes to himself. Jongin continues to survey the interior of the cottage without sparing Adrian a polite glance as silence continues stretch painfully between them.

Adrian runs a hand through his unkempt hair and rubs his jaw, frowning to himself. He must look rather indecent, like unshaven, uncoordinated animal. He buttons up his fleece shirt and pushes his unruly hair back to seem at least slightly presentable.

Jongin is not even looking in his way. His attention is all on the antlers on the wall. Adrian wonders if he should apologize, but he is frankly diffident and unwilling to start yet another conversation with an apology. He had taken Jongin by surprise last night and there is excuse for that. Though Adrian spent the entire night last night and all morning brooding over what had made him act on impulse like that. The Hazeldine brothers were able to keep him distracted momentarily, but even then, Adrian’s thoughts had been infested with last night’s kiss. He does not really enjoy Dan’s company, but Sky and Finn’s, he loves. If only Sehun weren’t married, Adrian would have played cupid for him and one of the younger Hazeldine brothers. They are both incredibly well-mannered, unlike their older brother. He would not say he prefers Kai to either of the fraternal twin boys. Perhaps he should not be too hard on Kai for one single mistake. Especially not when Adrian himself is not standing on the highest of moral grounds after having kissed a naïve boy without his consent or interest.

“You have a nice home,” Jongin finally breaks the silence, though he does not turn to meet Adrian’s tortured gaze.

“I’m sure nowhere near as nice as yours,” he says and hopes Jongin does not notice the strain his voice.

He notices the small smile that forms on Jongin’s lips. “I live in a huge manor. Far too big for three people and more often than not, it feels too small for one. It could suffocate me.” He turns and faces Adrian, instantly dropping his gaze. Even his radiant bronze skin could not hide the blush on his cheeks.

Something twists inside Adrian. He bites his lip and looks away. “I’m sorry the house is a mess. I live alone and I’m not exactly the most organized person. Uh… Can I get you something to drink?”

Jongin lifts his head again with a smirk. “So long it’s not hot.”

It is Adrian’s turn to be embarrassed again. “Hey, look. I’m… I’m so sorry about what happened last night.”

Jongin waves him off. “It’s okay. It really is,” he sighs. “I should not have reacted the way I had. It’s just that…” he trails off, swallowing hard.

Adrian pulls away from the wall he is leaning against. “I’m still very sorry.”

Jongin breathes out a chuckle. “I’m getting awfully bored of all these apologies.”

Adrian could not help a smile then. “Me, too.” He massages the back of his neck, wondering what he could say next and what he could do to not to stare at Jongin’s lips. The tenderness and warmth of those plush, quivering lips have been haunting him relentlessly, ghosting over his own lips, rendering him a sleepless night. “I feel like I should justify my actions, but I really don’t have a clue where to start.”

Jongin’s face wilts all of a sudden and he pins the floorboards he is standing on with a frown. “It was just a kiss. You were probably… tired. I was tired, too. Let’s not push this topic any further.”

 _It wasn’t just a kiss_ , Adrian wants to say, but finds himself choking on the words since he could not find a reason to back up that claim. “I just want you to know that I’m not the sort of man to go around kissing people.”

Jongin manages to smile. “I wasn’t thinking that.”

Adrian nods his head. “Great,” he sighs, trying not to frown.

The front door bangs open and Sehun spills into the cottage with Kai right behind him. “Adrian,” Sehun calls without any fuss as he looks around the cottage, pulling his coat off. “He is pestering me about something,” he says, jerking his thumb over his shoulder, at Kai, whose eyes blow up, gawking at Adrian in horror and then at Sehun in disbelief.

“About what?” Adrian asks, pulling Sehun into an embrace and brushes his lips to the top of Sehun’s head.

“Ask him.”

Adrian looks to Kai and Kai instantly starts to stutter. “I… Uh. I… Can we talk about details of the accord while we’re here?!”


	15. Chapter 15

Sehun gives the door a knock before entering with a voluntary smile on his face. “Hey,” he greets Jongin, who zips up the luggage and lifts his head to meet Sehun.

He straightens up and latches his hands to his hips, surveying Sehun as though to give him a once-over. “You’re smiling.”

The smile instantly vanishes from Sehun’s lips. “Why?”

Jongin shrugs, flashing a lopsided grin. “I have seen you smile more times in the past two days than I had since I met you. And I suppose my impulsive brother has a hand to play in it?”

Another smile creeps onto Sehun’s lips again. He cannot deny that. If the fight had brought him and Kai to such friendly terms, he is glad the fight happened. Jongin has been his friend for what feels like all his life, but Kai is… different. A different sort of friend and while Jongin is more of a serious type, Kai can be the best both worlds, Sehun has learned. He can be a complete nightmare, but he could also be an annoying little jerk, whose company Sehun has come to enjoy quite recently. He isn’t sure if Kai is simply being nice to him for the sake of forging a friendship between them, but he takes an awful amount of joy bantering with Kai. It has been so long since Sehun has felt this light, this _happy_.

Now, he does. Thanks to the grandson of his parents’ murderer. Oddly enough, whenever he is with Kai, he has started to forget that Kai is that murderer’s family.

Instead of saying any of that, Sehun responds to Jongin’s remark with a roll of his eyes. “I’m smiling because of _my_ brother. Not yours.” Not entirely a lie, but Jongin is right. Kai is the main contributor for his light mood today.

He does not miss the way Jongin’s face twists. “You’re a bad liar,” he scoffs after a beat and crosses the room to brush Sehun’s hair out of his face. “I’m so happy for you, Sehun. Both of you. Be kind to him, Sehun,” he sighs, cupping a side of Sehun’s face. “He could use some affection. And so can you. Trust me. He is just as lonely as you.” He drops his hand to his side.

Sehun bites his lip before running his tongue over it. “He told me something about your father.”

Jongin does not seem surprised. “He did?”

“Not really, but… he was really upset about it.”

“I’m sure he’ll tell you more about it when he thinks it’s comfortable,” he smiles. Then huffing a breath, he picks up his luggage from the bed. “I should get going. Wouldn’t want to keep Chanyeol waiting.”

“Oh, he went to the town with Kai. But I think they’ll back shortly.”

Jongin grabs his coat and pulls it on. “You’re coming back tomorrow, yes?”

Sehun almost frowns. He recalls the brief conversation he had with Kai last night. Kai had been understanding when Sehun told him he had no heart to leave this place just yet. But he had managed to convince Sehun that having the wolves over at the manor would be a good idea to form friendly ties with the Lycans and Pantherinaes. Adrian had agreed without any argument, leaving Sehun to agree as well. Had he been the old Sehun, he would not have left here, but it seems quite obvious that the manor is now his home. Here, he feels like a mere visitor.

“Yes,” he says as they make their way out of the room. “You should just leave with us tomorrow.”

“No, I’ll have to prepare the rooms for the guests.”

They join Baekhyun at the snow-blanketed front yard. Sehun blinks at Baekhyun, who is gawking with his jaw on the ground and arms crossed over his chest. His cheeks are red with an ecstatic gloss in his eyes.

“What are you—”

“Shh!” Baekhyun hisses and continues to gawk. Sehun follows his amazed gaze and finds Adrian, Sky and Finn lifting firewood logs into the garage, which now serves as a storage space for firewood. “This is heavenly paradise,” Baekhyun lets out, gulping hard.

Sehun hears Finn’s chuckle when Sky whispers something into his ear, both completely oblivious to fact that Baekhyun has been ogling them, admiring their sweat-bathed, shirtless bodies. Even the bitter cold could not dry the sweat that trickles down all their bodies. Sehun’s gaze shifts to Adrian, who is drenched in twice as much sweat, but unlike the fraternal twins, he has an unbuttoned shirt clinging to his arms and shoulders, putting the palm-sized mandala tattoo on his chest on display. When Sehun asked him when he had gotten the tattoo, Adrian replied with, “when I was too drunk to think straight.”

Both Finn and Sky are fairly big, though Sky is much leaner than Finn. Adrian still looks several inches taller than them. Sometimes, Sehun forgets how old Adrian actually is. He still hasn’t shaven, though Sehun had told him he needed one two days ago.

He looks to Sky, who places the log on Adrian’s shoulder to be carried into the garage. There is something lively about Sky. This is their second encounter, but Sehun could already tell that he would not hate Sky as much as he loathes his brother, Dan. Though Finn does not laugh or smile as much his twin brother, he does not seem like a bad person either.

Letting out a breath, Sehun turns to face Baekhyun and then Jongin. His eyes widen when he finds Jongin’s eyes restlessly following Adrian in and out of the garage. His lips are slightly parted as though he has having a tough time to breath. Sehun glances to Adrian and then back to Jongin again. A small smirk tugs at Sehun’s lips as he taps a finger to Jongin’s shoulder.

Jongin faces him, dazed with something like awe and a little exhaustion. “Huh?” he exhales confusedly.

“You’re drooling,” Sehun scoffs and Jongin snaps out of his state of stupor, blinking in horror.

“I… I’m… not,” he stammers, rubbing the nape of his neck. His eyes briefly flit to Adrian again before he aggressively turns his head away.

“Not you too,” Sehun gasps as Jongin determinedly refuses to meet his eyes. “I can’t believe Adrian managed to catch _your_ eyes.”

“I was not looking at him!”

Baekhyun lets out a heavy sigh. “Your brother is like wine,” he says, licking his lips. “He must get better with age. He could definitely be my daddy.” He freezes and looks to Sehun threateningly. “Don’t tell Chanyeol I said that.”

“Have you been doing this all morning?” Sehun asks, arching a brow.

Baekhyun sighs again and moves to stand in the driveway to get a better view of the men.

“Who are they?” Jongin asks, jerking his chin toward Finn.

“I don’t know,” Sehun shrugs. “Adrian’s friends, I guess.”

“Are they… brothers? They look awfully alike.”

“Fraternal twins.” Sehun averts his gaze to Sky and Finn, who are pulling their shirts on. Sky catches Sehun staring at him and his lips stretch into a wide grin. He salutes Sehun with two fingers and winks before he disappears into the forest with his brother.

“Well, show’s over,” Baekhyun says with a hint of disappointment in his voice and hurries into the house. Jongin, however, stuffs his hands into the pockets of his coat and starts walking over to the garage.

“Where are you going?” Sehun inquires.

“I should say goodbye to your brother and thank him for his… hospitality,” he says, trotting over the snow.

Sehun turns around to walk back into the cabin, but comes to a halt when Kai black Audi SUV pulls up the driveway. Something warms the bottom of Sehun’s stomach and it makes him grin. Why would he even feel excited to see Kai?!

He tries to hide the grin and swallows as Chanyeol and Kai exit the vehicle, the latter clad in a black coat, faded blue jeans and a black shirt. The watch on his left wrist glimmers as bright as the wedding ring on his finger and is silver hair compliments his caramel skin tone beautifully. Sehun wants to hit himself for only noticing all these things about Kai now. He almost misses to notice the huge bouquet of red roses in his hand.

“Hey, Sehun,” Chanyeol says and ruffles Sehun’s hair as he races into the house.

Sehun presses his lips into a thin smile when he sees Kai approaching him, wearing a sheepish grin. “Uh, hi,” Kai mutters and much to Sehun’s surprise, he holds out the flower bouquet. Sehun blankly blinks at the blood-red roses and looks up at Kai again. “I, uh, got these for you.”

“But why?” Sehun asks. He has never experienced anything like this before, no one has ever bought him flowers, so he is failing to think of a proper way to react.

Kai looks flustered for a moment as he scratches the back of his head. “I don’t know. I saw them. The florist was a nice lady, she convinced me that roses are… romantic and they’re sort of out of season, so they cost me like a fortune… I just… I don’t know. I’m rambling. I thought you’d like them.” He frowns.

Sehun quickly accepts the bouquet and hugs the flowers to his chest. “Tha… thank you.”

Kai finally smiles, gnawing on a lip.

 

* * *

 

On account of exertion, Adrian huff one final time and wipes the sweat on his brow, binding the logs together. He could seriously use a cold shower right about now. The collar of his shirt is damp with sweat, just as his long hair. He tramples over the sawdust on the ground to walk out of the garage, but stops short when the scent surges into the space, igniting a fire within him almost immediately.

He sucks in a tired breath and stares at Jongin, who saunters in with an easy smile. The smile falters as his eyes travel down Adrian’s heaving chest and abs. He swallows and raises his head again.

“I’m leaving today,” Jongin says.

“Okay,” Adrian mutters, shoving his hair out of his forehead.

Jongin frowns, lowering his gaze. “I want to know,” he blurts out suddenly, looking up with the innocence that always knocks Adrian for six.

“Know… what?”

Jongin draws in a couple breaths, seeming a little flushed. “Why you…” he pauses to gulp. “Why did you… kiss me?”

Adrian sighs heavily. “It was a mistake. I already apologized for it.”

“Yeah, but…” he trails off, frowning deeper.

Truth be told, Adrian is doing everything he can to not to stride over there and kiss Jongin again. He realized last night why is it that he can’t seem to cease thinking about Jongin and why his body reacts the way it does to the thoughts of Jongin. As soon as it registered to him why his heart aches in agony whenever he thinks about not having Jongin to himself, it only terrified him out of his wits.

Not because falling in love or imprinting on someone scares him. But because Jongin is a Pantherinae and he might never want to be with a Lycan. Besides, what if Jongin is already with someone? What if he is in love with someone else?

“Look,” Adrian harrumphs. “I wasn’t thinking when I did that. You yourself said that you don’t want to talk about it again. So, what changed?”

The frown on Jongin’s brows changes into a faint scowl. “That… was my first kiss,” he whispers, cheeks turning scarlet.

Adrian’s heart skips a beat, his throat tightening with a sour lump. _First_?

Jongin does not wait for a reply as he turns on his heel and storms out of the garage

 


	16. Chapter 16

Though his undeviating life seems dull and static, like a puddle of stagnant water, it does not give him too many hardships. That should be a good thing in most cases, but in Jongin’s, it is a lethargic boredom, which makes his life, his world all but grey. He has been in this town, in this manor all his life that he could no longer picture one away from here. Perhaps he would die in this manor just like his grandfather and his great grandfathers before him. What fears him now is that it no longer bothers him. He has accepted his fate. Where would he go? This is his home and unlike Kai, Jongin does not have a home elsewhere.

Even their mother had chosen Kai over him.

As he lays idle on his bed, eyes boring into the intricate patterns on the ceiling, he wonders what would happen if he chooses to leave and never come back. This manor and everything in it now belongs to Kai, anyway. Jongin is nothing but a freeloader, a waste of space. _I should leave_ , he tries to tell himself for the nth time, but does a poor job at convincing to do so. A part of him believes that Kai would leave here the first chance he gets, especially after making peace with the Lycans, but another part of him hopes that neither Kai nor Sehun would ever leave. They are his family now. Without them, Jongin refuses to believe that he will survive the loneliness.

If he were honest to himself, he had hated Kai for forcing Sehun into a marriage he had no interest in, but the past couple of days have proven that it is indeed a good thing for the both of them. Even if they do not choose to live as life partners, a solid friendship between them seems prospective enough. Jongin has been friends with Sehun for years, Kai is someone who had married him for his own agenda. And yet, Sehun could laugh so easily for Kai, when Jongin has to break a sweat to make Sehun crack a smile. It is fantastic, Jongin thinks. He wants Sehun to be happy, but more than anything, he wants his brother to be happy.

He sits up and leans against the headboard, hugging his knees to his chest. Baekhyun and Chanyeol haven’t been home since last night, leaving Jongin all by himself in the manor. Kai and Sehun should be here any minute now.

He drops his head to rest his forehead on the knees and lets out a laboured sigh. Books, which he has been trying to read for hours, are strewn all over the bed. Every time he picks a book up, he finds himself losing his attention to the print. _It was a mistake_ , he had said. And a mistake it was. So, why can’t Jongin put it behind him and get on with his day? Why does the vexed and annoyed look on Adrian’s face when Jongin approached him in the garage seem to never escape his train of thoughts? Why does Jongin want to hug himself under the sheets and cry himself to sleep? Adrian is nobody to him. And Jongin is definitely nobody to Adrian. So, why does his chest hurt when he thinks about the rejection he saw in Adrian’s expression?

He should not be too disappointed, though. He knows well enough to not to expect anyone to give him love or affection. _Love or affection_ , he scoffs at the thought. Adrian kissed him once, probably because, like he said, he was not thinking. It is not a big deal.

Except that it is. For Jongin, at least. Because Adrian has sparked hope and a sense of longing inside Jongin, who has never imagined himself actually being held and kissed. For someone who reads countless romantic novels, you’d think he pines endlessly for love. Well, he does, but he has pushed it to the furthest corner of his depth of loneliness because a broken heart is the last thing he needs right now.

He wants to love and be loved as the next person, of course. But he does not only have so many flaws, but is a flaw himself, and being rejected for all those flaws would destroy him. The fear alone keeps him in his boundary where no love is allowed. His heart has no room for love or Adrian, therefore it is a futile and pointless effort to pursue either.

Whatever Adrian’s reason had been for kissing him off-guard, he had positively said that it was just a mistake he is sorry for.

He should stop brooding over it. It is a meaningless kiss and completely unfair of Adrian to steal it from him, but what’s done is done and Jongin will never tell anyone how painful it had been for him when he felt Adrian’s hot lips against his.

There is no point in sulking about a mistake. Furthermore, Adrian is Sehun’s brother. It would be greatly improper to keep thinking about that man. Not to mention Adrian is a Lycan, who would probably prefer another Lycan, especially a fertile one that can bear him a child. Any dominant Shapeshifter would prefer a fertile docile Shapeshifter, not just Adrian and in that sense, Jongin is as useful as doornail.

He quickly blinks away the tears that start to sting in his eyes and pushes himself off the bed. Bursting into the bathroom, he splashes some cold water onto his face and lifts his eyes to stare at his reflection in the mirror. Perhaps he is not upset about Adrian, perhaps he is just upset about his worthless self.

The doorbell’s chime echoes into the room and Jongin hastily towels his face before hurrying downstairs. When he gets the twin doors, Kai and Sehun greet him with identical grins. Behind them, Kris, Adrian and Thea stand tall, with bags slung over their shoulders. Adrian stares into the house without saving Jongin a look. As Kai lugs his bag inside past Jongin, Sehun stops to pull Jongin into a brief embrace. “You okay?” he whispers into Jongin’s ear.

Jongin pulls back and smiles. “I’m fine. You?”

Sehun frowns, scanning Jongin’s puffy eyes.

“Hi, Thea!” Jongin squeaks, rushing past Sehun to peck Thea’s cheeks.

“Does the entire town live here?” Kris remarks as he enters the manor. “How rich are you people?”

Thea slaps the back of Kris’ head. “Have some manners for once.”

Kris scowls at his sister. “You forced me to come, remember?!” he spins around to study the Victorian interior. “Bloody hell. I could get lost in here. It looks like a haunted mansion.”

Jongin turns to look up Adrian. Another truth, he hates standing before Adrian. He feels ridiculously tiny around him. Almost insignificant. Well, that is nothing new to him, though. He has been insignificant all his life. Unlike Pantherinaes from the dominant echelon, dominant Lycans are generally hugely built, while Pantherinaes carry themselves like a cat. Jongin has learned that Lycans are a complete contradiction to a Pantherinae’s existence. Adrian is no exception. Their first meeting, Jongin hardly noticed anything about the man, except that he is tall. Adrian caught all of his attention with that single kiss and now it is a torturous hell to think about him, and that is all that Jongin can seem to do at the moment.

All rationality and ability to reason waft into the air when he starts to study Adrian’s appearance and attitude. He is like a rough diamond, but probably everyone knows that. What Jongin is more interested in is the fact that he is undeniably and distressingly inadequate and not up to par for someone like Adrian.

Adrian clears his throat and Jongin snaps out of his trance-like state, realizing he is staring at Adrian, blocking the doorway. He steps aside lets Adrian trudge into the manor without saying a word.

“Where are the lovebirds?” Kai inquires, chucking his car keys onto the sideboard and pulls his coat off.

“Chanyeol’s place,” Jongin answers monotonously, shutting the door. “I’ll show you to your rooms.”

“Are you the butler, then?” Kris asks with a mocking smirk and Jongin catches Adrian glaring in Kris’ way.

“Is it just you three who live here?” Thea inquires.

“Usually, yes,” Kai says. “But Chanyeol and Baekhyun drop by once in a while.”

“It’s a pretty big house for just three.”

“Well, three’s a party,” Kai grins, shrugging.

Kris snorts. “You must have a lot of fun screwing both your husband and your brother.”

Kai’s expression turns bitter in a heartbeat and Jongin’s heart sinks to his stomach. How is he supposed to live under the same roof with Kris?

With a smile threatening Kai’s lips, he says, “Oh, lots.” He winks, holding his hand out to the stairs.

Sehun pins Kris with a scowl and then shifts the daggering gaze to his brother before he races up the stairs. “Maybe you should just go home,” Thea says to Kris, frowning heavily.

“No, no, Thea,” Kai protests. “By all means, let him stay.” He pats on Kris’ shoulder, still smiling dangerously. “We’re going to enjoy ourselves, aren’t we, Kris?” he asks in a low murmur. Kris snarls at him, eyebrows furrowed into a glower. “Do join us for dinner, won’t you?” with another brutal clap of his hand on Kris’ shoulder, he proceeds upstairs. “Jongin, we’ll order something. Don’t trouble yourself by cooking for us.”

Jongin isn’t planning to, anyway. Even if he did, he is surely not cooking shit for Kris. He looks to Adrian, who has been silent all this while, without chastising his rotten friend for speaking so ill of Jongin and Sehun. Perhaps Jongin has given too much credit for Adrian. Maybe he plays favourite. Maybe he isn’t as kind as Jongin wants him to be. Maybe Jongin is just convincing himself that Adrian is not worth it and not the other way around.

“This way, then,” Jongin sighs and starts up the staircase. He halts when Adrian grabs Kris’ arm and stands almost forehead to forehead.

In a low but calm growl, Adrian says, “If you don’t want to make me your enemy, Kris, you will learn to never pull a stunt like that again, or else I swear, you will be sorry. Do you understand?”

Kris grimaces uncomfortably and nods his head. “I didn’t mean it.”

“I don’t care.” Adrian retreats and stomps toward Jongin, who quickly turns around.

He shows Kris and Thea to their respective rooms, saving Adrian for the last. As he ambles ahead, Adrian follows several good feet behind, glancing around the hallways, giving the portraits and vases a once-over.

“This is your room,” Jongin says, opening the door. Adrian deliberately avoids looking at him as he saunters into the room, appearing to be a little astounded by the ostentatious room.

“You could fit twenty people in here,” Adrian mutters and for a moment, Jongin’s heart flutters, believing that Adrian is talking to him. But then Adrian turns around and pins him with a grim expression. “What time should I come down for dinner?”

Jongin lowers his gaze, his toes curling in his shoes. “We usually eat around seven.”

When he raises his head, Adrian is no longer looking at him. Not wanting the silence to stretch any further, Jongin sees himself out and closes the door. He leans back against the door and screws his eyes shut, drawing in a few steady breaths.

Would Adrian have kissed him in the first place if he had known that Jongin is the grandson of the man that had killed his parents and made him an orphan?

 

* * *

 

 

“Where’s Kris?” Kai asks with his mouth full of sashimi. Adrian’s stomach almost turns as he continues to stare at the twins gobble down raw fish and sushi without holding back. Thea looks like she is about to retch, too.

“He is far too stubborn to give in to his hunger,” Thea mutters, stuffing another meatball into her mouth. Adrian glances to Jongin, who has been silent all evening as he quietly fills himself with the foul-smelling raw fish. “Where is Sehun?”

Kai shrugs and looks to his brother. “Is he not coming down to eat?”

Jongin swallows before speaking. “He made himself some sandwiches earlier and headed back to his room,” he says in a timid voice.

Adrian could not help but gawk at Kai chomp down another slice of uncooked tuna. At least there are cooked meatballs and burgers, which he is grateful for. He could not imagine putting a raw fish into his mouth.

“Why do you look like you’re about to be sick?” Kai asks, arching an eyebrow.

Adrian gulps, blinking away. “Lycans don’t really fancy… raw fish.”

Kai looks down at his chopsticks and rasps. “That explains why your brother looked like he was about to throw up when I ordered sashimi… and why he is absent tonight. I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s all right,” Thea says, waving him off. “I presume Pantherinaes love fish?”

“We eat everything. But yes, I prefer fish and I think Jongin does, too.”

Jongin puts his chopsticks down and wipes his mouth with the napkin. “Excuse me,” he says, rising from his seat. “Maybe I could bring Kris some food.”

“Oh, no, don’t bother,” Thea interrupts. “If he’s hungry, he’s big enough to ask for food himself.”

Jongin smiles gently. “I don’t mind,” he grabs a couple of burgers and a packet of meatballs before storming out of the dining room.

“I’ll send out invitations to the barbecue party this Sunday,” Kai says once his brother is gone. Adrian nods in agreement. “I hope some of your pack will come.”

“They will,” Adrian assures him. “But… do you really think it is a good idea to have the pack and your Pride mingle so soon?”

“It’s about time, I think,” he shrugs. “Why? Do you think it’s a bad idea?”

“It could go both ways,” Adrian sighs.

“It’s worth a shot.”

Adrian pushes himself to his feet. “Yeah, you’re right,” he smiles. “I’m just being paranoid.”

“Adrian,” Kai calls hesitantly and stands up. “I wanted to ask you about something.” he pauses. “I was wondering where your… parents are buried.”

Adrian’s eyes narrow and he folds his arms over his chest. “What?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I just… Sehun has never… you know. I want him to have a closure.”

Adrian blinks blankly. “Uh… that’s nice of you.” he rubs the back of his neck. “Fellestone Graveyard.”

Kai grins. “Thank you so much.”

With a bow of his head, Adrian leaves Kai and Thea to themselves in the dining hall and proceeds up to his room. He had been wrong about Kai. Had Adrian been married, he would have understood that misunderstandings are a part of the marital life, but it does not mean they will destroy a marriage forthwith. Sehun seems happy, he seems beyond happy. And this is his home now. With Kai. Adrian has nothing to worry about, really. So long Kai takes good care of his brother, Adrian would have no part to play in the picture.

Coming here is proving to be a bad idea. He feels like a fish out of water and it has only been a handful of hours since he arrived. He is already longing to return to his cottage and the inn. Simple they may be and nothing compared to this extravagant manor, they are his sanctuary.

He sticks his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he struts through the hallway. He isn’t even sure if this is the right path to his room. He knew Kai and Jongin are affluent, but he certainly did not think they’d be _this_ filthy rich. They must be highly regarded in the society and have a great social status. Unlike Adrian, who is a complete nobody outside the pack.

He stares at the old blisters and scars on his calloused hands, each speaks of different hardships. He is happy Sehun is married to this family, he would never have to struggle with all the adversity and penury Adrian has to go through every single day of his life. He isn’t complaining, though. This is a life he was forced to choose and he will make the best of it. He had given up on his dreams, his love, his ambitions. A mistake after mistake, and though he regrets some of it, he has accepted it all now. He does not want any of it for his brother.

But most of all, for the first time in his life, he realizes he is not good enough. Not good enough for Jongin and his chest tightens with a knifing pain.

He comes to an abrupt halt in the hallway when he finds Jongin sobbing against Kris’ room’s door with his face buried in his palms.

“Jongin?” Adrian rasps, hurrying over to Jongin’s side.

Jongin quickly sniffles and hastily wipes his cheeks with the sleeves of his shirt, trying to put on a fake smile. “Hey,” he lets out shakily, still glassy-eyed.

“What the hell happened?” Adrian grumbles through his clenched teeth and clutches the doorknob to rip it open.

“Nothing,” Jongin gasps, bringing his hands to Adrian’s chest. “Please, don’t,” he begs in a whisper and splays his fingers over the chest.

Adrian grips his jaw. “What the fuck did he do?” he asks in a low voice.

“Nothing, nothing,” he lies, a tear rolling down his cheek. “He just said something mean. I’m… I’m not really upset of that.”

Adrian steps back, balling his hands into fists at his sides. “What are you upset about, then?”

“Nothing,” Jongin sighs tiredly and starts to walk away. “I… have to go.”

“No,” Adrian blocks his way. “What is wrong?”

Something shifts in Jongin’s expression. “Why are you avoiding me? Why won’t you even look at me? Did I seem desperate to you when I told you that it was my first kiss? You completely ignored it, didn’t you? I know, we’re no one to each other, but I thought you were better than this. In a sense, you and Kris are no different.” There is pain in his words, but more than anything, disappointment. “Did _I_ ask you to kiss me?!” he hisses and sniffles. “Do you always go around doing this only to snub people like me later? Now, get out of my way,” he spits and shoves past Adrian.

Adrian grinds his teeth, glancing from Jongin to the door and then back to Jongin again. His heart ferociously searches for words, furious at the sight of Jongin walking away from him again and again.

He isn’t sure what has gotten into him as he strides after Jongin and seizes his wrist before pulling him into the dark corner of the hallway. Jongin barely turns around and Adrian cups the sides of Jongin’s face with both hands. Jongin fists Adrian’s t-shirt worn inside the unbuttoned plaid shirt in a bunch when Adrian presses his lips to each of his teary eyes, one by one and then gently brushes their lips together, like a mere feather’s touch, his own lips glazed with Jongin’s tears.

He pulls back an inch only to part his lips and kiss Jongin firmly on the mouth, savouring the softness of Jongin’s tender lips. His rough palms must be an uncomfortable touch to Jongin’s velvet-smooth skin. A shaky breath grazes Adrian’s lips, but Jongin is not kissing him back. With a slight dejection in his heart, Adrian withdraws from the kiss and stares into Jongin’s wide eyes.

“I don’t have anything,” Adrian breathes out, dropping his hands from Jongin’s face. “You could find a man a million times better than me. And you’re right. We don’t know each other. But I’d like to get to know you, Jongin. And if you let me, I will be able to love you with all that I have, even if it’s not much. I’m sorry if this is all… too much for you to take. I…” he stops himself, realizing it would be better to not to tell Jongin that he has imprinted on him. “Say something,” he whispers.

Jongin’s grip eases on his t-shirt and he slowly pushes Adrian back until there is a safe distance between them. Without lifting his head, he says, “No.” With just that, he walks away from Adrian for what feels like the hundredth time.

Adrian leans back against a wall and hangs his head. How stupid of him? What the hell was he thinking blabbering all those things? He is not a schoolboy pining over someone for the first time. He should have known better. He should have known he is not good enough and he is a Lycan. For the first time ever, he regrets being born this way.

 

* * *

 

 _“I don’t have anything,”_ he said.

Little does he know of how much Jongin has to do with the man who caused him to not to have anything.

 

* * *

 

Kai restlessly fiddles with the car keys as he waits for Sehun to show up.

“Where are we going at this hour?”

Kai looks to Sehun who marches down the stairs, wrapped well in his coat and muffler. “You’ll see,” Kai grins and hauls Sehun out of the house. “Get in,” he ushers Sehun to get into the car.

Frowning defensively, Sehun refuses. “I’m not going anywhere in the middle of the night with you. What if this is a grand plan of yours to kill me and bury me in the woods?”

“That is a very tempting idea,” Kai hums and Sehun scowls harder. “But that has to wait. Get in.”

“It’s cold. It’s dark and it looks like it might rain in a while,” he whines.

“Look, you wouldn’t have gotten ready if you really didn’t want to go.”

Sehun stares at him for a moment and finally gets into the SUV. “I will haunt you endlessly if you killed me,” he says and Kai could not help a laugh.

“You’re creepy.”

“I can be creepier.”

“Don’t worry. It’s going to be a pleasant surprise.”

“At 1 a.m.?”

“So darn sceptical,” Kai groans, pulling the car off the driveway.

They let a silence hang between them until they are on the snow bordered highroad and eventually, the silence is filled by the rain bulleting on the windshield and car’s roof. “I told you it’s going to rain,” Sehun mutters, pouting in dismay.

“Oh, I was thinking that maybe you could shift to my room.”

Sehun looks to him with a grimace. “What?”

“Just until everyone leaves. Don’t want your brother or Thea or Kris finding out we’re not having sex.” he smirks and chuckles softly when he sees Sehun flinching at the last word. “I know what to get for your birthday. A cake with ‘sex’ written on it.”

“You’re not being one bit funny,” he pouts harder and glances out the window, though there is nothing for him to see through the rain and dark.

“Don’t tell me you’ve already done it. Sex, I mean.”

Sehun freezes and stares at Kai with shock. “Have you?”

Kai lifts and drops his shoulders nonchalantly. “Of course. Several times, actually.”

Sehun looks away, pressing his lips into a thin, unamused line. “Good for you.”

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“Why would I be jealous?!” he shrieks.

“Okay, okay. Just asking,” he has to bite his tongue to refrain himself from laughing out loud.

After a moment, Sehun adds in a low voice. “Lycans are not like Pantherinaes. With us, it’s forever until our mate dies or renounces us.”

Kai nods. “I’ve heard. It’s kind of cruel, don’t you think? What if you _mate_ with someone and then after a few years, there is no love between you two? It will be a torture to have to live with that same person whom you do not love for the rest of your life just because that person just doesn’t want to die or renounce you.”

“You don’t have to necessarily live with that person. You just won’t be able to accept another.”

“It’s a nightmare.”

Sehun lours sullenly. “Yeah.”

“By the way, I did some research on Lycans and Pantherinaes mating.”

Sehun’s jaw falls slacking. “Why… were you doing that?” he arches an eyebrow.

“Oh, because in case I wanted to have sex with you or in case you suddenly begged me to have sex with you because, I don’t know, you could no longer ignore my seductive charms and undisputable sexual and animal magnetism.”

“You have no shame,” Sehun spits.

Letting out a laugh, Kai continues. “Back in those days, when we were all happy-clappy friends and stuff, yeah, Lycans and Pantherinaes did mate on rare occasions. It’s said to be painful for the docile ones because their bodies are not built to accept penetration from a completely different type of Shapeshifter. But it’s still very much pleasurable. After the painful phase, I mean. Lycans knot, yes? Well, for us Pantherinaes, we sort of lock with something like thorns, barbed, to be precise, near the end.”

“What must I do for you to stop?” Sehun starts to plead, looking like he is about to spew up.

“I don’t know. Because usually, they beg me to _not_ to stop.”

Sehun groans, clasping his hands to his ears. Chuckling to himself, Kai turns the radio on. He hopes the rain will stop by the time they reach the graveyard.


	17. Chapter 17

Pulling over, Kai stares through the swooshing wiper blades and cascading rainwater. Headstones are neatly arrayed as in most graveyards. Whatever snow that must have caked them are now washed away by the heavy downpour. Kai wonders if he should wait for the rain to pacify, but at this rate, he knows he might need to wait all night. He heaves a sigh and glances to Sehun, who is gaping out the window, wearing a worried expression. Kai could not help a smirk.

“Hey,” he prods a finger into Sehun’s thigh and the Lycan jumps in his seat, startled and terrified. Kai holds his hand up in defence, cocking his brows.

“So, you are planning to kill and bury me?” Sehun asks with what Kai thinks is a genuine set of curiosity and worry.

“Come on. Get out of the car,” he urges Sehun and exits the SUV after discarding his coat in the backseat. He does not bother to shield himself from the rain. He has left the car’s headlights on to shed some light onto the path of the graveyard. The rain bullets on his head and shoulders, seeping through the thick fabric of his jumper. He worries for a moment about having Sehun drenched in this rain, but as a Lycan, he is probably not likely to be prone to catching cold.

Sehun has not climbed out of the car when Kai looks to him. When Kai rips the door open, Sehun shudders at the gust of watery wind that sprays over his eyes. “I am not going with you!” he rasps and Kai lets out a muffled laughter. “It’s raining. The soil is damp, easy to dig. It’s way past midnight. We’re far from home. No one’s here. No one knows I’m gone. God, this is a perfect plan and I’ve come blindly!”

Kai bites back on another laughter and wraps his hand around Sehun’s wrist. Sehun tugs at it to pull it free from Kai’s grip, but Kai only tightens it. “If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it by now, Sehun. You wouldn’t see it coming.”

“Who knows?! Maybe you’re the type that does it for the thrill!”

Kai leans forward, smile wiped off his face. With beads of rainwater dripping from his hair and chin, he says, “Don’t you trust me?”

Sehun blinks at him. “No. Why would I?”

Kai sighs. “I’m standing in the rain, begging you to come with me. You’ll know why I brought you here in a moment.”

“That’s what murderers would say before they kill their victims,” he frowns.

“Come out, Sehun. We’re not going anywhere until you do.” It is an order this time.

Sehun clenches his hands into fists and steps into the rain, slamming the car’s door shut behind him. “Don’t you fear anything?!” he cries out through the cacophony of the downpour as Kai trots ahead of him, scanning the inscriptions on the headstones. “If I catch cold, I’m telling Adrian,” Sehun says, but Kai does not entertain it.

This could surely end badly. Sehun might hate him forever for sparking memories he does not want to revisit. Nevertheless, if this goes well, Kai cannot give Sehun a better present, offer a better apology for everything that happened to Sehun. This is Kai’s way of begging Sehun for clemency against all the adversity he was put through by Kai’s grandfather.

Kai halts before a twin headstone and licks his rain-kissed lips before turning around to face Sehun. He opens his mouth, but fails to find the right words to utter. Sehun stares at him for a moment before his eyes flit to the headstone Kai is standing next to.

Kai wishes he would be able to see Sehun’s reaction in a brighter light, though even in this darkness, the shock on Sehun’s face is clearly visible. He blinks through the rainwater trickling over his eyelids, lips slightly parted, drops of water dripping from his bottom lip, that is carefully chiselled to perfection in the deepest hue of pink.

Sehun takes a step closer to the headstone, eyes turning red almost instantly. When he crashes to his knees before the gravestone, Kai retreats a length to give him some space. Sehun presses his palms to the stone and clenches his eyes.

“I wanted you to say your goodbyes,” Kai says, quietly enough that Sehun might not have heard him past the noise of the rain. “I know you haven’t got a closure. I… think it’s time for you to let go of your past, Sehun. If you keep letting these bad memories haunt you, you will never be able to move on, for as long as they have a clutch on your conscience. Trust me. I know. You… need to bury your regrets now. You have to live on.”

He receives no reply from Sehun who starts to tremble. Is he crying, Kai wonders. If he is, the rain does a great job at camouflaging his tears.

But then Sehun breaks into a loud sob and even the rain could not hide his uncontrollable tears. Kai snaps his lips shut and continues to watch Sehun weep dangerously loud, as though he is letting out years of bottled up misery.

Crossing his arms against his chest, Kai swallows his own sob. There is nothing he could do for Sehun right now. Sehun needs this. This is the best way to help him move on from the hatred he harbours for Kai and his kind and the grief he has been holding onto all these years.

By the Sehun gives up on the sobs, Kai’s heart starts to hammer against his chest. Sehun drags his fingers along the names of his parents on the stone, which Kai has figured from their surnames and manages a tiny smile with tears still threatening his innocent eyes.

Kai steps forward and lays a hand on Sehun’s shoulder. Sehun shudders, but does not look up. He lowers to one of his knees beside Sehun and takes Sehun’s hand into his, entwining their fingers. “I know that you might not choose to believe me, Sehun, but I am not as cruel as you think I am. I did not intend to hurt you by bringing you here. I want you to have a closure and to move on. You are young. You will be happy one day,” he pauses, dropping his gaze. “Possibly with someone you love. You will find him and you will be happy again. And when we part ways, I don’t know how you’ll remember me, but I surely do not want to be remembered as the guy that made your life miserable. I want you to be happy because if anyone deserves it, it’s you.”

Sehun breaks into another sob, but this time, he drops his face onto Kai’s shoulder to weep into it, hand gripping Kai’s shirt collar. Kai could only imagine how painful it must have been for Sehun to live all those years with so much grief in his chest. He wants to lift Sehun’s face and kiss him. He wants to do it so bad that he hates himself for it. He could not bear to see the rejection in Sehun’s face if he did it. But he wants to do it. He wants to cup Sehun’s cheek, looking into his crying eyes and kiss him hard enough for him to forget all his miseries.

It is then when Sehun raises his head and slams his lips against Kai’s, pressing them together that there is hardly any space for the rainwater to flow through. Kai’s heart stops beating for a second as his entire body freezes with Sehun’s warm, quivering lips upon his. He could taste Sehun’s tears on his lips when he darts his tongue out to touch Sehun’s lower lip. Is this really happening?

Kai slides his fingers into Sehun’s wet hair and tilts his head to gently press his lips to Sehun’s upper lip. His heart almost jumps out of his chest when he feels Sehun’s shaky breath graze the tip of his tongue before Sehun whimpers into his mouth, killing another small part of Kai.

Sehun has his eyes tightly shut as he pants for air when Kai pulls back from the kiss. He is vulnerable, weak, Kai realizes. Sehun kissed him because of the emotions that must be overwhelming his senses right now. With a dash of disappointment, Kai helps Sehun rise to his feet with a hand gripping Sehun’s arm.

They exchange no words as they head back to the car. Kai holds the door open for Sehun to get in before he jumps into the driver’s seat. “Are you okay?” he inquires, but Sehun only responds by hanging his head, letting his tears fall onto his palms. Sighing, Kai grabs his coat from the backseat and wraps it around Sehun. It wouldn’t help much, but it’ll keep him from shivering too hard. “I’m sorry if you didn’t want it. The… grave of your parents, I mean.”

Sehun keeps mum, shedding silent tears.

 

* * *

 

By the time they reach the manor, they are mostly dried, except for their clothes and damp hair. Kai tries to make minimum noise as he enters the house and waits for Sehun to walk in as well. Sehun sniffles, the tip of his nose as red as a cranberry, but otherwise, face ashen with desolation. He still refuses to meet Kai’s gaze as he hands Kai his coat.

“Get some sleep,” Kai says in a low voice. “Good night.”

He starts up the stairs, but stops when he realizes Sehun is frozen in his spot, staring into nothing. He then glances to Kai with eyes sheening with tears and asks in a pleading whisper, “Can I… sleep with you?”

Kai swallows. For the past few days, he had slept with Sehun in the same bed, and now sleeping alone in his own bed would feel rather cold and lonely. That aside, he does not want Sehun to cry himself to sleep tonight. “Sure,” he says. “We should sleep in the room… anyway.”

Sehun nods his head and follows Kai to his room. While Kai hurries to take his shirt off and grab fresh, warm towels, Sehun retreats to the window to stare into the rapidly dissipating night. Kai licks his lips, stopping in his tracks to study Sehun’s back through the wet shirt. He should not take advantage of Sehun while he is this vulnerable, but a part of him wants to believe that this is a form of comfort he could offer Sehun.

Sehun has never been touched, but Kai does not know for sure if he has been kissed before. He did kiss Kai first, though he thinks it was because Sehun was flooded by an onslaught of emotions.

Kai drapes a towel over Sehun’s head and gently dries his hair. Sehun does not protest the help and only shrinks smaller under Kai’s touch. He arches his back until it is pressed against Kai’s shirtless, warm chest.

Dropping the towel to the floor, Kai slips his fingers into Sehun’s hair at the nape of his neck and cards it softly, massaging the scalp. An almost silent moan escapes Sehun’s lips and Kai presses a feathery kiss to the side of Sehun’s neck.

Sehun whimpers tiredly, a tear rolling down the corner of his eyes. Kai lifts his lips to kiss the tear on his temple and Sehun reflexively tugs at his damp shirt, yanking it up to fist it against his chest. Kai brushes his lips to Sehun’s earlobe, slowly stroking up and down the side of Sehun’s waist before sliding it to the front. He splays his fingers over the flat planes of Sehun’s milky-white stomach as Sehun leans into Kai’s hand that is carding through his hair at the back of his head.

Kai grips his jaw, clenching his teeth, wanting to rip all of Sehun’s clothes and feel him writhe everywhere Kai touches him. But that can wait. For now, he simply wants Sehun to feel like he belongs here, with him. Like he is not alone tonight. Selfishly, Kai also wants himself to not be alone tonight.

When Kai’s fingers glide past the waistband of his jeans and boxers, Sehun lets out a trembling breath. Taking it as an encouragement, Kai lowers Sehun’s pants enough to expose only his right-side hipbone and he softly strokes it with the tips of his fingers and feels Sehun shiver against his chest.

Sehun pulls away from him and leans forward onto the window, eyes closed and hands pinned to the glass. Kai shoves Sehun’s shirt up at the back and grips onto the sides of Sehun’s torso to plant a string of kisses down the beautiful cleft of Sehun’s back. He hears no objection from Sehun when he presses his hardened cock against Sehun’s arse. Pulling Sehun back to pin their burning bodies together, Kai snakes an arm to the front of Sehun’s waist and palms Sehun’s stomach.

He takes Sehun’s hand and guides him to the bed before helping Sehun get out of the uncomfortable shirt and jeans. Turning the lamp down, Kai climbs into the bed and pulls the duvet over them. He wipes the tears on eyelashes framing Sehun’s eyes. “Please,” Sehun begs in a breath with his eyes closed.

Kai presses a kiss to each of Sehun’s cheeks before running his fingers through Sehun’s hair. “I want you, I want you so bad,” he whispers, brushing his lips to Sehun’s forehead. “But when you’re ready and willing.”

“I am ready and willing,” he says, cracking his watery eyes open.

“No. You’re upset,” Kai cups a side of his face, rubbing his thumb over Sehun’s cheekbone. “You will regret it. Sleep now.” he kisses Sehun’s forehead one last time before Sehun snuggles closer, tucking his head under Kai’s chin, and curling into a ball in Kai’s arms.


	18. Chapter 18

It is such a sight to wake up to, Sehun will give it that. Oh, how grateful he is to have woken up before Kai, because elsewise, he would not have had the pleasure of catching a such a sublime glimpse of Kai in the deepest of slumbers. He has his face turned to the other side, facing away from the light pouring through the window. Sehun carefully studies the shape of Kai’s jawline, the protruding vein on the side of his neck, the perfect slant of his collarbones, the steadily rising and dropping chest, his expanding and deflating stomach, planed with a set of hard abs. He has his strong arm, taut with lean muscles, draped over Sehun’s shoulder, holding Sehun close to his warm body all night.

Sehun lifts a finger to Kai’s temple and brushes a lock of hair away, continuing to stare at his sleeping husband. Up until last night, Sehun has never considered what the marital relationship truly meant. It isn’t about sex, love, or even affection, for that matter. It is about having a sense of security, understanding, and forgiveness. These factors need to be established and perhaps, love would come into existence. Sehun felt the sense of security with Kai last night. He would not have wanted to have spent last night with anyone else besides Kai. He had slept peacefully, knowing that Kai was there for him. For the first time in a very long time, Sehun feels like there is somebody for him.

When Kai said that Sehun will be happy again, with someone else, he had wanted to tell Kai, why that someone could not be him. But then he realized, things might change between them, perhaps for the worst. Kai is forced to be with him for the time being and when he isn’t anymore, maybe he will want to move on from Sehun. Not to mention he had rejected Sehun last night when he had willingly offered himself to Kai. He had brought Sehun to the graveyard, seeking forgiveness, which Sehun has wholeheartedly given him. Sehun doubts Kai had any ill intention for doing so, but it does not mean he wants to strengthen their relationship. Perhaps Sehun had made a mistake by kissing him. Perhaps Kai was just teasing him as always. If he liked Sehun in the first place, he would not have said no last night.

The thought makes Sehun glum with disappointment and he hates himself for it. Why is he feeling this way? It had felt like he was about to die when he kissed Kai last night in the graveyard. He does not know what had nudged him to do that, but he had, and now, he must face Kai’s rejection. After all, Kai did say Sehun had ruined his life. Then why did he say he wants Sehun?

He wants to stop thinking about it, still fatigued from the previous night’s emotional ride. He draws his finger along the corner of Kai’s jaw and pulsating vein on his neck. Kai shifts, sucking in a sharp breath when Sehun fingers his collarbone. He turns to his side, pressing his front against Sehun, lips almost brushing Sehun’s forehead and curls an arm around Sehun’s waist.

His heart flutters in his chest, pressed so tightly against Kai, whose body is radiating feverous heat. Sehun raises a palm to splay it onto Kai’s abs and sucks in a silent gasp as his palm burns. He drags the hand up his chest and curls it around the back of Kai’s neck. He is burning.

Sehun pulls back and sits up before palming Kai’s forehead, which is also burning. Kai lets out a whimper of discomfort, burying a side of his face into the pillow. His chapped lips look dehydrated, his face is ashen. “Hey,” Sehun mutters, shaking Kai by his shoulder.

“Hmmm,” Kai moans in a low guttural noise, tugging at the duvet.

“Wake up,” Sehun urges him, but Kai dismisses him with another groan without even cracking an eye open.

Sehun licks his lips nervously, wondering what he should do now. Kai is definitely burning up with fever. He pulls the duvet up to Kai’s neck and tucks him before he slid off the bed. He finds a pair of sweatpants and Kai’s oversized shirt in the wardrobe. Putting them on, he glances to Kai again. He needs water, Sehun thinks. But he isn’t sure what the treatment for a sick Pantherinae could be. Jongin would know. Storming out of the room, he breaks into a sprint toward Jongin’s room.

Sehun ceaselessly pounds his fist to the door until Jongin gets it, still clad in his pyjamas and eyes sheening with the daze of sleep. “Sehun?” he exhales in a hoarse voice, running a hand through his mussed hair.

“Your brother,” Sehun rasps breathlessly. “He’s running a high fever! He was in the rain last night.”

Jongin’s eyes widen at once. “Is he all right?”

“Yes… I think. But can you do something?!”

Jongin opens his mouth, but snaps it shut, scanning Sehun from head to toe. He clears his throat. “You care about him that much, huh,” he smirks.

Sehun scowls. “Jongin, this isn’t the time!”

“Don’t freak out. He will heal quickly. His body temperature will return to normal within hours. Just give him some water, wipe his forehead and body with a cold, wet towel. Keep him warm. Make him… sweat. He’ll get well promptly.”

“That’s all?”

“That is all,” Jongin smiles, as though he is beyond satisfied by this situation.

Sehun nods and turns on his heel to race back to the Kai’s room.

 

* * *

 

His body is sore from exhaustion, breathing laboured and eyelids heavy, almost disallowing him to open his eyes. He is met with the poorly-lit room, his body uncomfortably warm. He tries to move his limbs, but to no avail, as though they are in a bind. Kai shifts, lifting his head to look down at his body.

He is cocooned in several layers of thick sheets from head to toe like a baby. He grunts, trying to free himself from the wrap that is soused with his sweat.

“Oh, you’re up,” he hears the gasp and glances to Sehun who is stepping out of the bathroom with a basin of water and a towel draped over his shoulder. “Finally.”

“Did you… do this?” Kai asks when he succeeds in releasing his arms from the cocoon and sits up. “You wrapped me up like a bloody burrito!”

Sehun frowns, taking his seat on the bed. “I think prefer you when you’re asleep,” he sighs. “You had a fever.” Kai flinches when Sehun brings the back of his hand to his forehead.

“What?”

Sehun withdraws his hand. “Yeah. You were out all day. The fever’s down now. I made some sandwich for you in case you get hungry when you wake up.”

“I was asleep all day?” Kai blinks, glancing to the window and takes in the darkened sky outside. “And you were… taking care of me?!”

“Yes.”

“What? Really? That’s super nice of you,” he says in disbelief. He then takes a peek under the sheets and finds himself still clad in just his boxers. “Did you…” he looks to the towel and basin of water. “wipe my body with that?”

“Yes, why?” Sehun raises an innocent brow.

“No!” Kai gasps. “That’s not fair! I was unconscious! Do it again.” he grabs Sehun’s hand and brings it to his abs. “I’m still feeling a little feverish. Where did you touch me?! God, I didn’t feel a thing! Not fair, Sehun. Do it all again!”

Sehun yanks his hand back and shoots up from the bed. “Quit being a pervert,” he mutters, cheeks suddenly growing red. “I… I didn’t…” he trails off. Kai bites his smirking lip.

“You’re not so naïve, are you,” Kai scoffs and sighs, leaning back on the headboard. He cards his fingers through his hair, smiling wider. He deliberately licks his lips and bites the bottom lip. “You kiss a man off-guard, then ask him if you can sleep with him, then offer yourself up to him, then in the morning, you touch him everywhere while he’s out of his senses. Holy hell, and to come to think of it, I pegged you for the clueless type.”

Any redder, Sehun’s face might have exploded with embarrassment. But the sudden shift in his expression alarms Kai. “Please… don’t make fun of me,” Sehun whispers, hanging his head.

Kai clears his throat and sits up straight. “I don’t mean to—”

“Thank you for last night,” he says, sniffling hard. “I’m sorry if I… made the wrong advances.”

Kai climbs out of the bed instantly and takes Sehun’s face in his hands. “Oi,” he lets out, forcing Sehun’s face up, but Sehun continues to keep his gaze low. “I was surprised, yes. Because I didn’t think that you’d ever… want me. But I swear, I didn’t do all that last night because I needed your approval. I genuinely wanted you to say goodbye to your parents. And I wanted us to start anew. To do that, we both would have to let go of our pasts. I want to be with you, Sehun. For as long as I can, for as long as you want. Should you decide that one day, I’m not the one, I had already promised you that you can leave. We will part ways. But until that day, I have decided to stay by your side. Friend, husband, partner-in-crime, whatever you want. So, tell me now,” he cups Sehun’s cheek with one hand and a side of Sehun’s waist with the other. He presses their foreheads together and whispers, “Do you still want me now?”

Sehun swallows, eyes closed. Then he slowly shakes his head and Kai’s heart sinks. “You stink now,” Sehun breathes out in a soft giggle. “Please, go take a shower.”

Kai pulls back at once. “You know how to break a heart, Sehun,” he snorts and tugs at the waistband of his boxers, wending his way to the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

“How on earth are you so good at this?!” Thea harrumphs with a ferocious groan, tossing a chess piece to the ground out of frustration.

Laughing, Jongin picks the white pawn up and displaces it on the chessboard. “Sehun is really good at it, too. We play almost every day.”

“Speaking of Sehun, where is he? And your brother,” she inquires, rearranging the chess pieces on the board.

“Oh, Kai is feeling poorly. He is apparently running a high fever,” Jongin smirks, but Thea stares at him.

“Why are you grinning for that?”

Jongin wipes the grin off his face immediately. “Sehun is… nursing him.”

“So?”

He lets out a sigh. Thea does not know why this is a big deal. Jongin does. He wants to check on Kai, he really does, but he knows this is another chance for Sehun and Kai to get closer. Besides, he is certain Kai will get well quickly, if he hasn’t already.

“No reason,” he mutters. “Another round?” he asks, leaning over the coffee table of the drawing room.

“Nope. Why pick a fight I know I’ll lose,” she sighs, rubbing her forehead.

“Can I try?”

Jongin looks up at Adrian, who saunters into the room, attired in a simple black t-shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. Jongin drops his gaze at once, a lump rising in his throat to suffocate him. He had successfully avoided bumping into Adrian all day, until now.

“Knock yourself out,” Thea says and leaves the drawing room, abandoning Jongin.

Like a prey stuck in a cage with a predator, Jongin glances to Adrian who takes his seat on the other side of the coffee table. Adrian’s attention is on the chessboard. “You play?” Jongin asks nervously, sliding a pawn forward.

A smirk tugs at a corner of Adrian’s lips. “Who do you think taught Sehun?” he says in a low, intimidating voice. Jongin swallows, making another move. His head is not in the game. His eyes often flit to stare at Adrian’s lips, which had savoured Jongin’s more than once. He is unsure of where their last encounter has left them. Adrian had said some things Jongin had a hard time registering to his brain and heart, in a sense. He had spent an entire night brooding over everything and no matter how much he thought about it, he does not understand why Adrian would be so forthright and plain-spoken about wanting to be with Jongin, especially since they had only just met. Yes, Jongin won’t deny that he is attracted to Adrian, but he fails to understand why Adrian is so instantly smitten. What is his angle? Are his intentions even sincere?

“Checkmate,” Adrian ends the game with victory for the second time and Jongin accepts his defeat again.

“You’re really good,” Jongin decides to pay him a compliment because he really does deserve it.

“You’re not paying any attention,” Adrian says, smiling. Then he sighs, looking up at Jongin. “We don’t have to be so awkward around one another, Jongin. We are family, after all. It’s not like we could keep avoiding each other because of one… odd situation. And it was my fault. I shouldn’t have come onto you like that. I wasn’t even flirting. I just… I know it is in no way romantic, I am not romantic. I’m sorry. We hardly know each other and… I understand why you wouldn’t want to even… consider me—”

“It’s not _you_ ,” Jongin cuts in, his heart pounding murderously. “It’s not just you. I’ve… never been with anyone and a part of me just doesn’t want to. This is just me. And how _I_ feel. It has nothing to do with you, Adrian.”

“What do you mean?” Adrian asks, frowning confusedly. Tears start to threaten Jongin’s eyes, but he forcefully blinks them away.

“I want this to stop. Whatever that is… happening between us.”

“But why?” Adrian demands in a low murmur. “Is it… is it because I’m a Lycan?”

“No, god… no. I’m the last person who would care about that.”

“Then is it because I’m not exactly up to par? I’m… penniless when compared to all this,” he gestures around the room and scoffs suddenly, shaking his head, grinning like he finds the situation funny. “I’ve been kind of proud of myself most of my life, but you are the first person to make me feel… so inadequate and worthless.”

“What?” Jongin blinks. “Oh, my god… Adrian, I—”

“I’m sorry, Jongin. I should stop trying to push you into something you have no interest in. I swear, I’ve never been like this. But it just…” he lets out a breath of laughter. “hurts… to even to think that—”

“I’m infertile,” Jongin blurts out, halting Adrian. The words feel thick and venomous when said out loud. He keeps his head low, with no courage to look up at Adrian. Then drawing in a breath, he says, “I… I can’t…” he trails off, having run out of breath.

Adrian palms his face, shoves his hands through his hair and stands up before striding out of the room without uttering a single word.


	19. Chapter 19

“How many from your side?” Kai inquires, signing endless names on the invitation cards that need to be sent off today. Adrian shrugs, handing Kai the paper he has been scribbling on across the table. Kai scans through the list and cocks an eyebrow at his brother-in-law. “Three? Seriously?”

“I’ve asked them all to come, but I can’t force them to show up. I’d be surprised if even three of them do.”

Kai lets out a sigh. “The whole point of this is to get the two groups to mingle and make the announcement of the accord. Speaking of which,” he shifts in his chair. “I was thinking that maybe we should also sign a legal treaty.”

Adrian nods in agreement. “That’s a good idea,” he says monotonously, face ashen and eyes tired. There is something clearly bothering him, but Kai wonders if Adrian would share his troubles with him.

“You okay?” Kai decides to ask, anyway. Adrian looks up and blinks. “You seem a little out of your game today. Are you feeling poorly?”

“No, I’m fine,” he mutters. “Look, Kai. The treaty will be signed between you and me, and I will do it only if most of my pack agreed.”

“I understand.”

“And apart from that, this will be an accord between my pack and your Pride. Neither of us speaks for the entire population.”

“It’s a stepping stone, Adrian. We start small,” Kai says. “I’m really grateful that you are willing to do this.”

A faint smile tugs at Adrian’s lips. “For Sehun. I want him to live in a peaceful time. And,” his smile broadens into a grin, though there is still some distress in his gaze. “I spoke to him this morning. He told me your brought him to our parents’ grave. Thanks.”

“Ah,” Kai chimes, unable to help a smile himself. The past two days have been fantastic, even if Kai had barely managed to get a hold on Sehun, who had spent all of his time with Thea and Jongin, deliberately frustrating Kai, who finds himself longing for the night to come every single day, when he will get to have Sehun all to himself. Although they only talk about all sorts of random things, ranging from their childhood to the future they once dreamed of, until one of them falls asleep, Kai would ask for nothing else. It is enough for the time being that Sehun is opening up to him, bringing some of his walls down, but Kai would not deny that he longs for the day he will be able to bring _all_ of Sehun’s walls down. “It’s nothing.”

“No,” Adrian sighs. “It is something, Kai. You’re proving to be a better man than I had thought you’d be.”

Kai beams. “You have no idea how great it feels to get your approval and compliment,” he laughs and Adrian’s face crumples with confusion.

“But why?” he snorts. “I think Sehun and you are old enough. Neither of you needs my approval. I just… don’t want you to hurt him.”

Something stings Kai’s heart. Guilt. Accountability. Delinquency. He is wronging Adrian and there is no forgiveness for that. Would Adrian ever find it in his heart to pardon Kai if he is met with the truth about his parents’ murderer? It is a secret Kai doubts he would be able to keep for long.

“I’m never going to hurt him,” Kai says in a low voice. “You have my word, Adrian. When we got married… I will be honest, there wasn’t any affection between us. But things aren’t the same, anymore. I… I need him, now.”

Adrian smiles and bows his head. “I believe you.”

 

* * *

 

“Good evening!” Chanyeol crows, bursting in through the doors when Jongin gets them. He plants a couple of kisses on Jongin’s cheeks before whispering, “Dad’s here.”

Jongin frowns and looks to Baekhyun who follows behind his boyfriend. “Hey, Jongin,” he coos with a gentle smile, pulling Jongin into an embrace.

“Thought something reeked,” Kris’ scoff booms into the entrance hall as he descends down the stairs with a backpack slung over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Jongin demands.

“I can’t bear to stay for another minute,” Kris says and stops before Baekhyun. “How are you, Munchkin? How do you feel, being so tiny?” he asks with a smirk playing on his lips.

Baekhyun smiles back threateningly. “Relatively well, douchebag. How are you doing, being so irrelevant?”

Kris nods, grinning now. “Touché.”

Chanyeol’s glaring gaze bounces from Baekhyun to Kris and vice versa. He then grapples an arm around Baekhyun’s waist, scooping him close.

Jongin turns to Chanyeol’s father, who strides into the house, dusting the snow off his shoulders. His eyes dart to Kris and he winces uncomfortably. “Hey, Jongin,” he leans in to peck on Jongin’s cheek.

“Hey, Uncle Nod. What brings you here?” Jongin asks, drawing back from the small hug.

“Is Kai around?”

Jongin licks his lips. “Yeah. He’s upstairs. I can go get him. Why don’t you come into the drawing room?”

“No, I’m fine here. I’m actually in a rush.”

With a bow of his head, Jongin hurries upstairs while Kris continues to banter casually with Baekhyun, who sticks close to Chanyeol. As he approaches the library, his stomach churns with trepidation. Adrian is in there, he thinks. He knows that he has run out of tears and he wasn’t crying for Adrian, as much as he was crying _because_ of Adrian. He had curled up in a ball in the corner of his room, sobbing through the night until he could no longer harness the energy to cry. No, he is not pining for Adrian—he hardly even knows the man. But Adrian had validated Jongin’s worthlessness to men like him and Jongin finds it futile to spend any more of his energy and time on heartless, spiteful men like Adrian.

He had just walked out on Jongin right after he had heard a heartfelt confession from Jongin, which had been so difficult and painful for Jongin to say it out loud. Though Jongin understands that Adrian might have felt let down and shocked by this revelation, he did not even bother to offer Jongin any sort of solace or comfort. Not that Jongin wants Adrian to still chase after him, but is Adrian so disgusted and disappointed with Jongin and his state of being unable to bear a child that he is not even going to consider a mere friendship with him?

Jongin knows enough to know that Lycans stick with one for a very long time. So, he gets why Adrian would not want to be with someone who can’t conceive him an heir. He does not blame Adrian for that, and neither is he mad at him for shoving him away like this. However, it still hurts nonetheless. Because now, Jongin will evidently never be good enough for anyone. It hurts so bad.

He knocks on the door without entering the library. Both heads shoot up and turn in Jongin’s way. “Kai,” Jongin calls in a low murmur, refusing to make any eye-contact with Adrian. “Uncle Nod’s here. He’s looking for you.”

“Oh,” Kai rises to his feet. “Did he say why?”

Jongin shakes his head. As they head downstairs, Adrian silently tags along behind and Jongin wishes he would just continue to ignore him, because that would make it so much easier for his heart to not to wail.

“Great. How many more of them are you keeping here?” Uncle Nod groans, glancing to Adrian when they reach the entrance hallway.

“This is Sehun’s brother,” Kai says and Nod raises a curious brow.

“His… family?”

“Long story. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

Nod’s eyes narrow into a scowl and he pins Adrian and Kris with a menacing look. “There’s been another attack,” he says. “One of your kind,” he jerks his chin towards Adrian. “Attacked one of ours. In Harvington.”

Just as Jongin and everyone else in the hallway, Kai glances to Adrian, who shakes his head. “Not my pack,” Adrian says. “I’d know if it is one from my pack.”

“You’re sure?” Nod asks through his teeth.

“If he says it isn’t his pack, then, it isn’t,” Kai states firmly. “Besides, Harvington’s not anywhere near Itcara. It’s closer to home, isn’t it? It could have been the wolves that attacked us here.”

“You’re fraternizing with these wolves while they’re killing more of us!” Nod bellows furiously, throwing his hands up in defeat. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Kai. You marry one of them and now, you’re letting all these dogs into your home.”

“Uncle Nod,” Kai sighs, exhaling exasperatedly. “Is anyone hurt?”

“Not traumatically. But it could have been worse.”

Kai rubs his forehead as though to wipe away the wrinkles of worry that crease it.

“My pack and I can launch a hunt around the area,” Adrian offers.

“Oh, no, it’s all right,” Kai says, but Adrian dismisses him with a hand.

“If there is a rogue pack of Lycans threatening peace, we’re going to have a dispute,” Adrian says. “I’ll have some of the wolves over and we’ll run the rogue pack down first thing tomorrow morning.”

“And we should trust you, why?” Nod asks with a lockjaw.

“First reason, I’m volunteering to help. Second, I doubt you’ll be as good as us tracking down the scent of our own kind.” Adrian’s tone is unwavering and calm, but also patronizing at the same time.

“I believe the word you’re looking for is thanks, Uncle Nod,” Kai says. “Look. These people are my family now as much of a family you are to me and they are not a threat to any of us.”

“No promises,” Kris coughs, resting his elbow on Baekhyun’s shoulder before Chanyeol yanks Baekhyun away from Kris.

Huffing with vexation, Nod tugs at his coat and takes his leave.

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” Kai asks Adrian, turning around to face him.

Adrian nods his head curly and looks to Kris. “Good. You’re packed. We leave in the morning,” he says to Kris, who groans in dismay.

“Well, at least you’re around to entertain me,” Kris mutters to Baekhyun, so close to his cheek that Jongin notices the alarm in Chanyeol’s face. Winking at Baekhyun, Kris follows Adrian back up the stairs.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he turns to face his boyfriend. His jaw falls slacking when he finds Baekhyun staring at Kris. “Stop checking him out!” he hisses to Baekhyun, who blinks dazedly at him.

“I wasn’t,” Baekhyun sighs, smirking.

“Yes, you were! You’re staring at his butt!”

“Well, he has a good butt,” he sighs heavily, glancing to Kris on the stairs again, but is distracted when Chanyeol slaps Baekhyun on the rear. “Ow!” he slams his hand on the back of Chanyeol’s head to retaliate.

“Guys, I hate to break this wonderful conversation up, but can you take it up to the room?” Jongin says, shoving past them.

“You’re bitter because you don’t have a boyfriend,” Chanyeol scoffs and though it is meant to be playful, Baekhyun hits him on the chest with the back of his hand and fixes him a scowl.

“Chanyeol,” Jongin hears Baekhyun snap under his breath.

“Uh… I was kidding, Jongin,” Chanyeol stammers and Jongin looks back at him with a small smile before proceeding toward the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

No matter how hard he tries, he could not find the appetite to stomach any form of food. Desolated and daunted, Jongin pushes the plate away and lays his head atop the kitchen counter. He fights the tears that sting his eyes, wondering why the hell he is sulking, why his heart is so heavy. It does not make sense. He isn’t sure what does, anymore. However, he knows one thing for sure. He wants him and Adrian to be on good terms. Why is it important for Adrian to accept as at least a friend? He can’t tell why. Perhaps it is because Adrian is the first man to have made him feel all these complicated emotions in such a short period of time.

He makes his way up to Adrian’s room, hoping that Adrian hasn’t gone to sleep. When he knocks on the door, there is no answer. Swallowing hard, Jongin lets himself into the room and finds it empty and dark—until Adrian steps out of the bathroom, clad in a pair of black sweatpants, towelling the back of his head. He stops in his tracks, eyes boring into Jongin, who suddenly feels out of place.

Adrian does not tell him to get out, at least. He quietly heads over to the bed and turns the bedside lamp on. Jongin shuts the door and musters Adrian from head to toe. Rivulets of water trickle down Adrian’s back, thick with muscles. His caramel-tanned skin bears several scars, and since Lycans are known to heal rather fast, Jongin wonders how deep those wounds must have been to have dried into scars. Every curve of muscle—abdominal, back, biceps—is in light hue of brown, as though Adrian has spent his whole life under the sun.

“You will be back for the party?” Jongin asks in a small voice as Adrian starts to stuff his backpack with his worn shirts. For a moment, Jongin thinks that Adrian is just going to ignore him, but then Adrian nods his head. Letting out a sigh, Jongin takes a step closer, but not close enough to Adrian. “I’m sorry,” he says without even knowing what he is sorry for. “I… feel like you’re punishing me when I haven’t really done anything wrong.” Adrian freezes with his hands on the backpack settled on the bed and back turned to Jongin, who manages an insincere smile. “I just sprung it up on you out of nowhere. Maybe I should have told you sooner and you wouldn’t have… kissed me the second time. I know you’re upset that I… I led you on. It wasn’t my intention. I swear.”

Adrian chucks the backpack to the floor and spins around to face Jongin with a brutal scowl. “No, that is not why I’m upset,” he spits through his grit teeth and sucks in a deep breath, clenching his eyes shut for a moment. “What are you even doing here when you have clearly affirmed that you don’t want me?”

Jongin blinks, struggling to find the right words. “I want us to be friends, Adrian. You’re Sehun’s brother. And that means you are important to me as well. I don’t want you to ignore or avoid me. I don’t even know what mistake I did to be in this situation. I’m the victim here and yet, I’m the one who’s apologizing.”

“Victim?” Adrian scoffs. “You make it sound like I’m a bully here. Like I am ruining you or something.”

“You are!” Jongin uncontrollably cries out. “Why are you doing this?” he quickly wipes his eye with the back of his hand before he could let the tear fall. “You… you kissed me. You came after me. You started it all and now you’re just standing there and watching my heart get broken! Is this some sort of a sick joke to you? Are you and your Lycans laughing your arses about this? I know Sehun, but I _don’t_ know _you_. While Sehun might be kind, I have no clue of what sort of a man you really are. But I do understand one thing rather clearly. You are not as good as Kai or Sehun thinks. You’re just as any other repulsive man out there that has zero regard for people’s feelings! And I’m not crying over you! I’m crying over me! Over how… substandard I am! How different things would have been if only I weren’t born this way!”

As he pants for air with tears welling up in his eyes, Adrian folds his arms over his unclothed chest, eyebrows furrowed into a frown. “Are you done?” he asks in a low voice.

“Yes,” Jongin sighs, sniffling deep.

“Good… Can I speak now?” he cocks an eyebrow. “All these… reasons you’re giving me… Is it because you don’t want to be with me or is it because you do?” Jongin blinks at Adrian confusedly. “ _What_ is it that _you_ want, Jongin? You’re right about one thing, though. You don’t know me for shit so, do yourself a favour and don’t assume all sorts of bullcrap about me, can you do that?” he crosses the room and stops only a foot away from Jongin. “What did you say? I’m like… all the other men out there that have no regard for people’s feelings. I stood alone and orphaned, with no prospect to follow my dreams whatsoever. I had lost everything I ever cared about in a single night. I know what being heartbroken feels like, Jongin. I know worse. I’ve spent a hell-like decade ahead of you. You think I care about you being infertile? I was orphaned a long time ago. I’ve learned to live this way. We’re born one day, then we struggle and struggle and struggle every single day to live, and one day, we just die. That is all that I understand about life. And thinking about one without you in it just makes it worse. I don’t give a damn about whether or not you can conceive a child, Jongin. I care about you and the fact that you don’t even want to be with me. Is being infertile your excuse to push me away? I… I understand how hard it must have been for you to admit that, but you _did_ , and it shows how much you don’t want me that you were willing to say it to keep me away.”

“No,” Jongin lets out in a whisper, his tears blinding him for a moment. He raises his hands and splays his palms over Adrian’s chest, looking up at the taller man. “No. No. I… It wasn’t an excuse to push you away. Adrian…” the sob in his throat suffocates him. “I want you,” he breathes out, screwing his eyes shut. “I want you. I want you to want… me. I’ve… I’ve never felt this way before.”

“Neither have I.”

“It hurts more than it should.”

“I know,” Adrian bows his head, cupping a side of Jongin’s face. His half-lidded eyes are focused on Jongin’s lips. “It’s taking me all of my strength to not to kiss you right now,” he whispers, thumb stroking Jongin’s cheekbone. “I don’t want you to push me away again…”

“Kiss me,” Jongin exhales, digging his fingertips into the thick pads of muscles on Adrian’s chest. “Please… Please.”

Adrian presses his lips to Jongin’s forehead instead of his lips and withdraws. “I want to be with you, Jongin. I don’t want this to be just a fling. I want you… and I want to be with you.”

“I do, too,” Jongin says breathlessly, staring into Adrian’s eyes. “But… you… y-you could find someone who is better. Why… me?”

Adrian swipes his thumb along Jongin’s cheek to wipe the tear away. “Because it is so easy to fall for you,” he smiles. “Because you are worth it, Jongin.”

 

* * *

 

When Kai finds Sehun and Thea in the drawing room, going through photo albums, his heart skips a nervous beat. Sehun is laughing so easily and Kai has never seen him this happy, like a dog with two tails. The irony in the comparison makes Kai smile.

“Who is this?” Thea asks, pointing to a photo in the album. They are sprawled on the floor with candles lit all over the room, providing enough brightness.

“I’m not sure. One of the old furballs, I guess,” Sehun mutters. _Furballs_! Kai almost chokes on his own spit, but then Sehun lifts his head to smirk at Kai. Furballs…

“Well,” Thea says, keeping her eyes on the albums. “I think your husband wants you now.” her eyes then flit up to wink at Kai. “I’m sleepy, anyway. Good night, kiddo,” she ruffles Sehun’s hair as she pushes herself up to her full height. “Good night, Kai,” she says, brushing past Kai.

“Good night, Thea,” he smiles, arms crossed over his chest. “Furball, eh?” he says and leans against the doorframe. Sehun shyly smiles to himself, picking up the albums. “What were you looking at?”

Sehun holds an album up and points to a photograph that completely wipes Kai’s smile away. “You’re a naked kid,” he mutters and giggles.

“No!” Kai spills into the drawing room and snatches the photo album from Sehun’s hand. He gapes at the photo of him and Jongin as babies in the same bath tub with Jongin playing with his rubber duckies while Kai is looking straight at the camera with soap foam on top of his head and his fingers pulling at his little penis. “Why are you laughing at this?” he asks, frowning sadly at Sehun, who is still guffawing endlessly. “What’s so laughable about this?”

“Oh, relax. I’ve seen the picture like a billion times. It’s Jongin’s favourite photo of you both.”

Kai hands the album back to Sehun and lets out a sigh. “I was a cute baby, wasn’t I? Cuter than Jongin.”

“You’re twins,” Sehun rolls his eyes. “But I can see that you were a pervert even as a baby.”

“Oh, yeah, of course. But the skills have doubled since.” He flashes a lopsided grin. “Will you be coming up soon?” Kai asks and Sehun nods his head.

“Let me put these back first.”

“All right,” Kai meanders his way out of the drawing room and heads up to his room, which he now shares with Sehun.

His smile disappears as he comes to a halt at the end of the hallway, only to find a shattered window and a trail of muddy pawprints, leading the south-wing staircase. His heart thunders in his throat as blood pounds in his ears. His sense is instantly clogged by unfamiliar wolf scents and within seconds, the faint stench of fire smoke.

He breaks into a sprint at once. Sehun’s shrill scream rings in his ears as he races to the drawing room.

“What is going on?!” Chanyeol yaps, bolting from the other side of the hallway. The smoke alarm goes off instantaneously, clamouring all over the manor. Chanyeol joins him in front of the drawing room and ferociously rips at the doorknob. “It’s locked on the other side!”

Kai pounds his fist on the door a couple of times before he retreats a couple of steps and along with Chanyeol, he gives the door a brutal stomp until it tears off the hinges. “Sehun!” he yowls through the smoke, bolting in. An entire corner is caught on a feral, but small fire—candles tipped over drapes—and Chanyeol promptly hurries to put it out. Kai gasps Sehun’s name when he finds the Lycan near the fire, unconscious and motionless. The side of his thigh and the right side of his back are in the clutch of flames. Kai picks Sehun up into his arms after putting out the fire scorching his body.

“Oh, my god,” Chanyeol rasps, looking to Sehun in Kai’s arms.

“Call the ambulance!”

Without thinking twice, Kai bolts out of the room and streaks hell for leather to the pool room. “Please, don’t wake up,” Kai mutters to himself, his own tears trickling down his cheeks unchecked as Sehun lays limp in his arms.

The third-degree burn has completely ravaged Sehun’s skin at his thigh and shoulder blade. Then Sehun’s eyes fling open, a sharp cry escapes his lips. Kai holds him closer to his chest, letting Sehun sob into his chest, his fingernails piercing into Kai’s shoulder. “Kai!” he screams, clawing at Kai’s chest.

Bursting into the pool room, Kai hurls Sehun into the cold water before diving into himself to brace Sehun. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” he holds Sehun’s body underwater to submerge the burned areas, trying to control his own tears.

“What happened?!” Adrian yaps, storming into the pool room.

“Wolves,” Kai barely manages to say with Sehun screaming and crying in agony.

“Sehun!”

“No, I’ve got him. Ambulance is on its way. Find the wolves!”

Without an argument, Adrian turns on his heel and pelts out of the room, exploding into a pitch-black wolf, twice the size of an average Grey Wolf.

“Sehun?” Kai calls desperately as Sehun keeps his sobbing face buried into Kai’s chest. “It’s okay. I’ve got you,” he whispers, pressing his lips into Sehun’s wet hair. “I’ve got you.”


	20. Chapter 20

“This is what happens when you let fate play its hand and wait for it to worsen every possible situation, so that you could finally take action,” Aleana says with a mild sigh.

“You think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” Kai spits and pulls away from the drawing room’s entryway to face his aunt. He isn’t quite sure how they are related, but he has been referring to her as his aunt for as long as he can remember. The men are almost done fixing the shattered window, through which the intruder must have escaped that night. It has been the longest three days of his life, full of accusations and guilt-tripping, and so many unanswered questions. “I’m an incapable leader since I let a Lycan attack my home, not once, but twice.”

Aleana heaves another desolate sigh and pushes a lock of her red hair out her face. “No, Kai. We all know a Lycan would not attack his own. And they did not kill your Lycan boy, did they?”

Kai shakes his head. “Sehun said there was a man and a wolf. He banged his head on something and lost consciousness. You’re right. They weren’t here for him. They were here for something else and I can’t figure out what.”

“Any luck tracking them down?”

“Sehun’s brother is working on it.”

“The Lycan Alpha?” she scoffs. “Kai,” she lays a hand on his shoulder. When he was younger, he used to find her intimidating. Her red lips, red hair, sharp pantsuit. She is frighteningly sharp at all times and he once even considered her to be Satan’s delegate “I understand that you garner some feelings for the boy, but there is no reason to trust any other Lycan. Sehun was raised here, perhaps he might hold some loyalty to this household and you, but you can assume the some for his brother. Are you certain you can trust him?”

Kai frowns. Aleana’s calm, reassuring voice is the scariest of all, because she could convince a man that a rabbit has twenty legs with that business-like tone of hers. “We can trust him, Auntie Ally.”

She smiles, teeth set perfectly in rows of pearls. “I see that you are installing fire sprinklers all over the manor.”

Shrugging, Kai eyes the men working on the window in the drawing room. “You can’t be too careful, can you?”

“I only wish for you to have that attitude toward some other things.”

Kai faces her with subtle lour. “Neither Sehun nor his family is a threat to any of us. Do you think his brother would have let him get hurt? He has nothing to do with these Lycans that have been attacking us.”

She lets out a heavy breath. “All right. You cancelled barbecue party?”

“Yes.”

“How does your Lycan boy fare now?”

“He’s fine. Healing rapidly. Thanks for inquiring,” Kai looks away again, hoping that his aunt would take her leave. Darn Uncle Nod to have told half of the Pride about the incident.

“What do you plan to do about this hereafter?”

“I’m not—”

“Auntie Ally,” Jongin calls, walking into the hallway.

“Ah, Jongin!” she chimes, pulling him into a sophisticated and brief embrace. “My, have a haircut, will you?” she runs her fingers through smiling Jongin’s hair.

Jongin blushes. Clearly, he finds Aleana charming and absolutely adorable. She is more a motherly figure to Jongin than his actual mother is. So, Kai could understand why he is utterly fond of her, when Kai isn’t.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t around for your grandfather’s funeral,” she says, patting Jongin’s cheek gently.

“It’s fine, Auntie Ally. Won’t you have some tea or coffee?” Jongin offers.

“I’d love to,” she lets Jongin usher her out of there. Kai could kiss his brother for saving him from the female ghoul and decides that a ‘thank you’ is in order.

The manor has been awfully quiet the past two days with Sehun in bed day and night. They could not afford to keep him in the hospital for too long due to Sehun’s supernatural abilities and thanks to the family doctor, they had been able to shift him back to the manor without attracting too much attention at the hospital. Kai has been giving him all the rest he needs to heal fast, but the burns are going to leave quite a scar on Sehun’s skin, though not as ghastly.

Kris and Thea have returned to Itcara to rally the pack for an extensive hunt to scour around for the rogue Lycans in Harvington, since Adrian thinks those Lycans might have a first-hand involvement in the attack in the manor.

“Kai,” Adrian announces his presence, his phone in his hand. His face is taut with tension and restlessness. “I must leave,” he says. “Kris called. They found tracks near Harvington and a lot of them lead to a nightclub called _Inlecebra_ in Harvington. It’s said to be run by a Lycan.”

Kai’s eyes widen. “They found them?”

“We don’t know for sure. There are several minor packs in their own territories. It could be any one of them.”

“But you found a potential lead. That’s good. I’m coming along.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. The place would be packed with Lycans.”

“I’m coming, Adrian. They’re not going to get away after attacking my own family. Don’t worry. I won’t cause any trouble.”

Adrian lowers his gaze, as though he is considering Kai’s plea. “All right. And, um… I want Sehun to move to Itcara.”

Kai could not hide the frown of disappointment even if he tried. “What?”

“He’d be safer there. You’ve enemies, Kai. Even if you don’t know it. I can’t have my brother hurt like this again. It could be worse the next time. In Itcara, I can look after him. The entire pack will look out for him. It’s our territory, no other Lycan pack can enter and attack one of our own. Sehun does not want to move or leave this place. You have to talk to him.”

“He doesn’t want to move?” Kai blinks, arching an eyebrow. He doesn’t know why it makes him smile a little. “Adrian, this won’t happen again.”

“At the moment, neither of us can guarantee that. A minute late and Sehun would have…” he trails off with palpable pain behind his gaze.

Kai drops his head before nodding it. “Okay…You’re right. He will be safer there.”

“Just until all of this blows over, all right?” he claps his hand to Kai’s shoulder. “We leave tonight.”

When Kai heads up to his room and finds Sehun sitting up, back half leaning against the headboard, carefully dodging the burned shoulder blade and thigh as he flips the channels on the TV. His eyes fly to Kai at once and an excited smile stretches his lips to his ears.

“Hey,” Kai says, trying to mirror Sehun’s smile as he shuts the door behind him. “How do you feel?”

“Fantastic,” he snorts with a sarcastic edge to his tone. Once noticing the distress in Kai’s expression, he smiles gently. “I’m so much better than yesterday. I’ll get even better tomorrow.”

Kai takes his seat on the chaise lounge near the bed and smirks. “That’s the spirit.”

“I heard a lady’s voice.”

“Oh. My aunt. Aleana. Do you know her?”

Sehun nods. “She’s terrifying.”

“Finally, someone who agrees!” Kai yaps, throwing his hands up and laughs when Sehun giggles. “Sehun,” he clears his throat. “I need you to go stay with your brother and your pack for a while.”

Sehun groans, rolling his eyes and shifts half of his attention back to the TV remote. “Not you too…”

“Adrian has a point. No one can harm you there.”

“Except natural disasters and a Godzilla. Anything can happen and it does not necessarily have to happen _here_.”

Kai drops his gaze, twiddling with his thumbs. “Please? For me?”

Sehun stares at him for a stretch of time. “What are you planning to do here while I’m gone, then?”

“I want to find out who did this.”

“I’ve seen the man and the wolf. Wouldn’t it be more helpful if I followed you? I can protect myself.”

Kai could not help a scoff. “Insofar, you’ve done a lousy job at that.”

Sehun scowls.

“Adrian and I can manage. You’re going to Itcara. No more negotiations and don’t bother arguing. We both know Adrian will throw you over his shoulder and take you out of here.”

“And you’re too scared of Adrian to stop him?”

“It’s not fear. It’s respect.”

“Yeah, right,” he snorts, pout forming on his pale lips. “Can Jongin come with me, then?”

Kai shrugs. “If he wants to.”

“When can I come back home, then?” he asks with an upsetting frown etched to his brows. Kai rises to his feet and cups the back of Sehun’s head, bowing down to kiss Sehun’s forehead.

“I’ll come to you as soon as I figure some things out, okay?”

“How long will that take?” he frowns deeper, grabbing onto Kai’s arm.

Though Kai’s heart flutters, his stomach twisting and turning with torturous longing. But he hides the hankering with a snide smirk. “Why are you asking? Ohhhh… wait a second. You want to have sex with me, don’t you?” he gasps.

Sehun releases Kai’s arm at once and shoves him back, glaring back to the TV. “Get out.”

“You’re not denying!” Kai lets out a chuckle, ruffling Sehun’s already mussed bed-hair. “Well, you need get all better before we could do it.”

Sehun’s pale face burns red immediately. “Go away.”

“Sehun, has no one taught you it’s rude to behave that way to your husband? Can you at least give me a kiss?”

“No,” he mumbles, faking a scowl, though his cheeks are growing redder by the second.

“Why not? You did it easily the first time.”

“No.”

“Okay,” he sighs. “But you should know I’m very upset about this, Sehun.” He turns around to leave, but pauses to shoot Sehun another smile and receives one in return. When he finds Chanyeol and Baekhyun in the bottom of the staircase, brawling over a taffy, he stops in his tracks to stare at them for a moment.

“Baekhyun, give it back!” Chanyeol bends over Baekhyun, who hugs the taffy to his stomach, and curls his arms around Baekhyun to seize the taffy.

“Well, this is a mystery solved,” Kai scoffs, tapping on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“No, Baekhyun!” Chanyeol cries when Baekhyun pops the taffy into his mouth. Straightening up, he plunges his fingers into Baekhyun’s mouth and forcefully yanks the spit-slicked taffy out of his mouth.

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun yaps, striking his hand lightly across Chanyeol’s face.

“What?” Chanyeol hisses at Kai, who staggers a couple of steps back, grimacing at his cousin, who tosses the licked taffy into his mouth.

“We might have located the Lycans that attacked in Harvington and possible that attacked Sehun, too. I need you to come with me. As a back-up,” Kai says to Chanyeol, whose eyes broaden with excitement at once.

“Sure!” he exclaims, sucking on the taffy he stole from his boyfriend, who still seems maddened about it.

“Baekhyun,” Kai turns to the shorter Pantherinae. “Can you drive Sehun to Itcara? Back to the cabin?”

“Yeah, of course. When?”

“Now.”

Baekhyun exchanges a glance with his boyfriend. “Are you sure it’s okay for him to leave like this?”

“Yeah. He’s fine. Just drive slow.”

“Yeah, okay, no problem.” he plunges his hand into the back pocket of Chanyeol’s jeans to retrieve the car keys and gives Chanyeol’s lips a firm kiss before racing upstairs.

“Too much PDA, Chanyeol,” Kai grunts, shaking his head.

“Jealous,” he scoffs, prodding a finger into Kai’s chest.

 

* * *

 

“When are you going to find yourself a pretty boy, Jongin?” Aleana asks, smiling as pleasantly as ever as she wraps the scarf around her neck while Jongin holds the door open for her.

“Well, I may have already. Not a _boy_ per se, though,” Jongin mutters, unable to stop the blood rushing to the back of his neck.

Aleana flashes an open-mouthed grin. “Is that so?” she cups Jongin’s cheek, gently caressing his cheekbone with her thumb. “A man, then? Even better. When do I get to meet this lucky man?”

“Soon, Auntie Ally,” he pulls her into a hug and receives a kiss on his cheek.

“We shall have a grand wedding, yes? I heard your all about your brother’s impromptu wedding,” she shakes her head dismissively. “I would to like to at least have a part in your wedding.”

Something wrenches Jongin’s guts. “Auntie Ally, we… we just met. We haven’t really… gone anywhere near that topic.”

“Well, whoever it may be, Jongin, he is so fortunate to have won your heart over,” her red lips play a genuine smile on a loop. “But I’d like to meet this man.”

“And you will.”

“Good. Take care, darling.”

As soon as she disappears through the door, Jongin wends his way to Sehun’s room, only to find Baekhyun helping Sehun pack his things up.

“What’s happening?”

Baekhyun looks up at him. “Oh, hi, Jongin. Sehun and I are leaving to Itcara. Kai, Adrian and Chanyeol are apparently going to see those big bad wolves in Harvington.”

“Jongin, you should come with us,” Sehun says, taking his seat on the edge of the bed. “Come with me. Please.”

“Oh,” Jongin rubs the back of his neck, sucking his lower lip. “Sure. Do you need anything, Sehun?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks,” he grins. Sehun is strange. He scintillates with radiance every time something bad happens to him. Jongin could never erase the image of Sehun screaming in pain some nights ago with burns on his body, but today, Sehun looks like he is floating on cloud nine. It might be because of all the attention he has been getting from Kai lately.

Though Jongin wants to head over to Adrian’s room, he couldn’t help but worry that perhaps Adrian might get a tad bit crossed by Jongin always pursuing after him. They are on good terms now, as Jongin wants. But they aren’t on stable terms. Moreover, they haven’t had the chance to talk things out properly following the attack and Jongin has been preoccupied with caring for Sehun the past few days that he hadn’t been able to catch Adrian alone in the manor. They still have a lot to talk about and a part of Jongin fears that things might change between them for the worse if he chose to not to talk to Adrian now.

Though Adrian had said that he does not care about Jongin’s infertility, Jongin is rather unconvinced and incredulous about it. They haven’t comfortably talked about, but maybe they should.

Perhaps Jongin’s incapability to shapeshift and bear a child does not bother Adrian as much as it should, but would he ever forgive Jongin for hiding the truth about his parents’ murderer? Jongin knows it would hurt them both less if he stayed away from Adrian. But he couldn’t. As each day passes, he wants to only get closer to Adrian. Not further away.

He halts before his room when he finds Adrian ambling towards it from the other end of the hallway. His heart skips a beat at the sight of Adrian’s smile. A simple, almost insignificant smile, but it renders Jongin weak. “Hi,” Jongin mutters, smiling nervously.

“Hi,” Adrian says, stopping a step before him. “I… uh, I have a favour to ask you.”

“What is it?” Jongin breathes out, wanting to cross the little distance between them and put his hands on Adrian’s chest.

“Can you look after Sehun while I’m gone?”

Jongin smiles, hanging his head for a beat. “Adrian, I looked after him for eleven years. You don’t have to ask me.”

Adrian’s smile falters and he suddenly looks at Jongin in a way he has never before. Like he is searching for Jongin’s soul behind his eyes. Jongin finds himself unable to break eye-contact that instant and his breathing quickens. “When is your… birthday?” Adrian asks in a sharp breath.

Jongin blinks and lets out a soft chuckle. “That was abrupt and random.”

“I just realized that,” he looks embarrassed as he cards his fingers through the long strands of dark hair. Jongin wishes he could touch Adrian’s hair to check if it really does feel as silky as it looks. He wants to run his knuckles over the fine stubble on Adrian’s jaw. “I don’t know anything about you.”

“14th of January,” Jongin mutters and curls his lower lip between his teeth. “And don’t beat yourself up. I suppose discovering things about each other is part of romance.” He enters his room and waits for Adrian to step in as well.

After a moment of hesitancy, Adrian walks into the room and latches the door. He gives the monumental bookshelves in the room a once-over and gawks. “Are these all yours?”

“I’m indoors a lot,” Jongin says, shrugging. “Where are you going tonight?”

“Harvington. This is impressive,” he points to the books. “I’ve never met anyone who must have read half of this.”

“And I suppose reading is not one of your hobbies?”

Adrian scans the spines of the books with his eyebrows raised in awe. “Are you kidding? I barely made it out of college. Sehun is the one that likes to read. My parents used to ground me all the time and confiscate my Game Boy because I flunked all the time,” he scoffs and pauses for a moment, staring at the books vacantly, as though he is revisiting a fond memory.

Jongin’s stomach clenches. “You must miss them a lot,” he whispers and Adrian presses his lips into a thin smile.

“The thing is… sometimes I can’t forgive them for leaving me so soon. I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t have the heart to accept their death at that time. I wanted to take my mother to the city. Buy her anything she wanted with my first salary from my fancy new job. She wanted me to settle down, get married, have children.” He stops himself and lifts his gaze apologetically. “Not what I wanted. But her dreams helped me build mine, you know.”

“I’m… sorry,” Jongin’s throat is so tight that it barely makes it possible for him to speak. “Everyone leaves one day, Adrian.”

“I know,” he fingers a book and licks his lips. “I buried them with my own hands and cleaned their blood from the floor and carpet and bed right after that. I wasn’t crying. I just had… so much anger inside me.”

“What happened to that anger?”

“I buried it, too. Because I was helpless then. I’m a Shapeshifter from the highest echelon, Jongin. Your brother is one, too. You know how monstrous we can be. If I hadn’t controlled it, I would have ended up dead after massacring a town.”

“But you’re way more in control than Kai.”

“I’ve had practice,” he shrugs and crosses the distance between them. “You think you’re flawed,” he says in a low voice, raising a hand to run it through Jongin’s hair at the side of his head. Then cupping Jongin’s cheek, he inches closer. Close enough to make Jongin’s heart thunder wildly. “I am way more flawed than you are. I’m afraid that if you saw those deplorable sides of me… you’d hate me. I’m sorry I walked away when you told me about… it. I wasn’t sure if you were saying it to make me go away or if you were truly worried that I would judge you for that.”

“You should, Adrian,” Jongin exhales, palming Adrian’s hand clasping his face. “A few more years from now, you’d regret this.”

“I regret many things, Jongin. But you’re not going to be one of them,” he bows his head and Jongin stands on the tip of his toes to reach Adrian’s searching lips. His knees are on the verge of buckling when their lips touch in a warm, languid, chaste kiss. Adrian snakes a strong arm around Jongin’s waist and pulls him close as Jongin fists Adrian’s shirt in a bunch.

Adrian breaks the kiss briefly and Jongin leans forward, chasing after Adrian’s lips. The older man’s eyes desperately muster Jongin’s expression, as if to find any sign of protest or distress. When he doesn’t, he cups the back of Jongin’s neck and presses his lips firmly against Jongin’s again until robbing Jongin of his breaths. Adrian’s arm holds his entire weight up, lips taking their slow time to savour the warmth of Jongin’s. His hand drops from Jongin’s face and he slides it under Jongin’s shirt before spreading his hand over Jongin’s heaving stomach. His fingers brush Jongin’s navel and the sensitive skin below it like a wisp of feather, sending shivers down his spine.

“Shit,” Adrian curses under his breath, withdrawing from the kiss again—much to Jongin’s dismay, who desperately wants more.

“What?” he pants out, eyes half-lidded and dazed.

“I can’t,” he lets out, brushing their nose tips together. “I won’t be able to stop.”

“Don’t… stop, then.” He trembles, clinging onto Adrian’s neck when Adrian fingers skim the side of Jongin’s waist before gripping it hard enough to collect a tiny gasp from Jongin’s lips.

“No… No,” Adrian sighs and pulls away completely, scrubbing his face with a palm. “I… shouldn’t. Uh… I’ll…”

Jongin smiles, though he hasn’t recovered his breaths. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Adrian mutters, nodding his head and turns around. He starts towards the door, but stops, staggering for a moment and turns to face Jongin again. “Uh…” Biting his lip, he scratches the back of his head and hurtles out of the room.

 

* * *

 

The beat of the music makes his synapses leap, thundering on the sole of his feet. The fine hairs on the back of his neck and arms raise when he takes in the cacophony of Lycan scents that swarm the nightclub. Whatever space there is, it is flooded with red light. Otherwise, the club is mired in the depth of darkness.

Eyes follow Adrian, Kai, Kris, Finn and Chanyeol as they course through the hot crowd. “The place is filled with Lycans,” Adrian hears Chanyeol whisper nervously to Kai.

“I noticed,” Kai mutters back.

“Their Alpha owns the place,” Finn informs Adrian. “They didn’t try to pick a fight when we pored over Harvington. I don’t think they’re looking for a fight.”

“Some guts you’ve got strutting in here with these kittypets,” the club’s bouncer spits, blocking the way further into the nightclub.

Adrian lets out a heavy breath. “Look. I’m actually here for a fight. And I’ve come prepared. So, if you choose to stand in my way, I can assure you this night won’t end pretty for you. I just want to see your Alpha, ask a few questions and be on my way.”

“I can’t let your hoity-toity friends inside,” the bouncer declares, crossing his arms over his chest.

Adrian looks to Kai and Chanyeol. “You don’t have to come along,” he says, glancing to the rest.

“But—” Kris starts, but Adrian cuts him off.

“Just. Stay.”

Chanyeol scoffs out a chuckle and earns a scowl from Kris. “ _Stay_. Good boy,” Chanyeol says, laughing subtly.

“Chanyeol,” Kai hisses, backhanding Chanyeol’s chest.

“Sorry.”

Adrian follows the bouncer up the spiral staircase of the nightclub, attracting everyone’s attention. The upbeat music and flaring light are intense enough to light a fire. Adrian realizes that he hasn’t been to a club or a bar in a very long time.

“Wait here,” the bouncer says and disappears through a curtain. A moment later, he ushers Adrian into a dimly-lit room that reeks of smoke, perfume and sweat. “Our Alpha will join you shortly. Sit.” He points Adrian to the settee.

Exhaling a sigh, Adrian takes his seat on the settee and eyes the velvet cushions on it. He is expecting a fight if it comes down to it. He will not spare anyone in this place if he finds out they had anything to do with the attacks. He might not have been able to do it before, but now that a member of his own pack, his own family has been hurt by these rogue Lycans, he has all the authority to harm them in the name of protecting his own pack and no one can question him. His pack will stand by him now, since Sehun has been injured.

He looks up when a couple of girls sway their way into the room, clad in scanty, skimpy clothes that could come off with a single tug. Adrian cocks his eyebrows at the girls who approach him gracefully, each of them taking either side of him. “It’s not every night we get a potent man like you walking in here,” one of them purrs, stripping Adrian’s jacket off. Their hands are instantly slipped into Adrian’s shirt, caressing the heat of his chest. For a brief moment, Adrian finds himself staring at the women, who pull each other into a feverous kiss.

As one of the women straddles Adrian’s hips, hands sliding into his hair, the other latches her lips to his neck, licking up the vein. “Right,” Adrian grunts and shoots up from the settee. “I’m not here for this. Where’s your Alpha?”

“Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. Righteous as ever,” a familiar voice booms into the room and he spins around. His heart sinks at once, clamouring murderously. “And yet, so sinful.” She smiles, her bright red lips a contrast to her short platinum hair, which once used to be beautifully long and brown as the hazel specks in her green eyes.

His breaths betray him. “Lara,” he says, the name thick on his tongue, acidic in his throat.

She beams wider and with a look, she dismisses the other girls in the room. “Small world, huh?”

Adrian licks his lips, dropping his head. “What… what are you doing here?”

“Boy, you sure know how to steal the words from my mouth,” she laughs. “I believe it’s the question I ought to be asking you.”

“You’re… you’re their Alpha?”

“You seem surprised,” she scoffs. “Come on, Adrian. Neither of us is the same anymore. I see that you’ve changed a lot. So have I. You run with the enemies now.”

Adrian sucks in a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. You don’t get to say that. Only those who are really sorry should seek for an apology. Last time I checked, you just abandoned me.”

There is nothing that Adrian could say that will not aggrandize this situation. “Look. Like you said, we’ve both changed. I’m not here to talk about our past.”

Lara guffaws thunderously, clapping her hands together. “Damn! Romantic as ever, you poor thing,” she hums, throwing her arms around Adrian’s neck. “Hmmm. Poor, hot thing.” She runs her fingers through his hair. “You know, in spite of everything that you did, I still miss you. I guess that makes me pathetic, right?” she cocks a brow, swiping her thumb below Adrian’s lower lip.

Adrian isn’t sure if it is the heat or Lara that is making him sweat bullets, but he has never imagined he’d see his ex-girlfriend like this. All of her innocence, her purity gone.

“I’d love to do this, but I haven’t got all night,” he draws back. “Does your pack have anything to do with the attacks in Harvington and the Marion Manor?”

Lara laughs again, shaking her head. Her blood red lips carry a hint of mockery as she flumps on the settee, crossing her legs. “So that’s why you’re here. Why do you care about those Pantherinaes?”

“Was it your pack?” Adrian spits through his grit teeth.

She shrugs. “Might have been. Might have not.”

“Lara. I’m not here for your games.”

“No, I suspect not,” she smirks. “You still haven’t taken a mate? I wonder why. Is it me you’re waiting for all these years, baby?”

Adrian rolls his eyes, rubbing his forehead. “Look. We’re ancient history. And I am truly sorry for what I did. If you could just put this past us, it would be magnificent.”

“Why would I do that?” she chuckles. “Actually, I’m not that bitter about you not showing up and keeping your promise, Adrian. I get it. Your family had died. But you didn’t give rat’s arse when mine did. You didn’t even bother to come see me.”

Adrian gnaws on his lip. “I didn’t know how to, Lara. I… I couldn’t talk to you.”

“Well,” she rises to her feet. “I forgive you, Adrian,” she says, cupping the back of Adrian’s neck to pull him down. Her lips are warm as ever and it surprises Adrian how vividly he remembers every kiss he had shared with her. But it does not feel the same anymore. He breaks the kiss and pulls away.

“Lara, please. I just want to know if you had anything to do with the attacks. I can’t do this with you.”

Sighing, Lara pushes her hair out of her forehead. “And if I did? Why do you care about the attacks? Am I not doing you a favour?”

Adrian’s hand flies up to clutch Lara’s neck and he snarls, baring his teeth. “You hurt my brother.”

Lara smiles and shoves his hand away. “Sehun? Yeah, I heard he’s alive. And he’s married to a Pantherinae. I also know that is why you’re here.”

“So, it was… you?”

“Not exactly me. But… do enlighten me. Why do you think your brother is so loyal to the Pantherinaes that he married one? Or hasn’t he told you who was behind… our families’ death?”

Adrian scowls. “What the hell are you blethering about?”

She chortles and her laughter reverberates through the room. “Oh, this is good! You really have no idea, do you? God, Adrian. All brawns, no brains, huh?”

His body slowly begins to burn with heat. “What are you getting at, Lara?” he demands in a low growl.

She advances forward and splays her fingers over Adrian’s chest. “Do you know who the new leader of the Pantherinaes’ Pride in Marion is? He inherited the title from his beloved grandfather, didn’t he? Do your math, Adrian. Think about whose side you’re on. But what I'm curious about is… why is your brother, whom you love so dearly, playing for their team?”

All that he could hear is the pounding of his blood in his ears as his vision blurs with the vibrancy of paroxysm of pure, violent rage. His blood curdles, boils, making it impossible for him to think rationally that instant.

He retreats shakily and staggers out of the room. With hands clenched at his sides, body tight with a thirst, he stomps down the stairs, the pace of his strides amplifying by the heartbeat. The instant he bursts out, his fist finds Kai’s face in a brutal blow.

“Fuck—what the hell!” Chanyeol crows, shoving Adrian back while Kai cups his jaw as blood oozes down the corner of his lips. He looks to Adrian with horror and trepidation, but before the first blow registers to him, Adrian strikes him with another.

“Jesus Christ, Adrian!” Finn rasps and tries to hold Adrian back, but fails when Adrian lurches forward to plant his boot into Kai’s chest, sending him to the ground.

His fangs bare themselves, eyes and all other senses heightening sharply. “Cut it out!” Chanyeol snaps before the back of Adrian’s fist slams him across the face.

“That’s enough!” Finn bellows as he yanks Adrian back and Kris grabs onto Adrian’s arm. “Are you out of your mind?!”

“Let go!” Adrian roars, eyes stinging with tears. “I’m gonna kill you! All of you,” he says through his teeth and just as Kai pushes himself up to his feet, he stomps mercilessly on Kai’s guts, sending back to the ground.

“Adrian—” Kai grunts, coughing out blood before Adrian’s boot meets his skull.

“Think about your brother for a second!” Finn cries, jumping between Adrian and Kai.

“I don’t care,” Adrian spits, backhanding Finn across his face and drops to his knee to grab Kai by his shirt and yanks it up to bludgeon his face repeatedly, driving his fist over and over into Kai’s face until it is completely painted with his blood.

“Adrian!” Kris squawks at last and yanks Adrian off Kai. “He might die!”

“That’s the idea,” Adrian lunges at him again only for Kris to shove him back.

“Sehun will never forgive you if you did!”

“Sehun can fucking go to hell with these bastards!” he tries to shove past Kris.

“Stop, Adrian. Stop,” Kris says calmly, holding onto Adrian’s shoulders. “Breathe. You’re angry. Just… breathe. You are going to be okay. Just look at me and breathe.”

Adrian grits his teeth with furious tears trickling down his cheeks. “I want every last one of them dead.” He loosens his bloody fist and glances to Kai, who has lost his consciousness, before walking away, wanting to rip out of this skin and cry his heart out.


	21. Chapter 21

“Dear lord!” Dania cries when she gets the door and immediately rushes to Kai’s side to help Chanyeol. “What on earth happened?!”

Her voice rings in Kai’s ears as he limply clings onto Chanyeol and Dania, his face caked with blood, nose clogged and throat dry. Dragging him into the house, Chanyeol lowers him to the couch and tears Kai’s bloody shirt off.

“I’ll get a towel and some water,” Dania rasps before hurrying away. Kai drops his head on the couch, focusing on drawing steady breaths to distract himself from the internal agony. He thinks a rib might be broken and he could barely keep his eyes open. Every nerve screams in throbbing pain, his head pounds in misery, and there is very little that he could do right now to not to pass out.

“I’m really sorry for bothering you, Dani,” Chanyeol says when she returns with a towel and a bowl of water. “You live the closest and I didn’t really know where I could have brought him without attracting too much attention at this hour.”

“Don’t apologize,” Dania mutters, taking her seat on the couch beside Kai. “You did the right thing by bringing him here.”

Chanyeol flumps on the coffee table and buries his face in his hands. Kai lets out a hiss when Dania presses the damp towel to his cheek.

“Oh, my god,” Aleana’s gasp reverberates from the staircase as she descends them in a hurry, pulling her dressing gown on. “What happened?” she asks, joining them in the living area.

“He got his teeth punched in by his brother-in-law,” Chanyeol groans, shaking his head and Aleana shifts her concern to him. She raises a hand to his face and presses a thumb to the bleeding corner of Chanyeol’s lip.

“You should have that looked at,” Aleana sighs while Kai flinches away from Dania’s touch. “I told you that man is bad news. Why did he hit you?”

“Can you save the interrogation for later, Ally?” Dania chides, wiping the rest of the blood off Kai’s face. “And please, get the painkillers? They won’t be as helpful as your own healing ability, but it will let you sleep through the night.” She brushes Kai’s hair out of his forehead and helps him recline on the couch. “Let me fetch you a blanket.”

Aleana lets out a sigh of exasperation and proceeds to the kitchen before returning with a bottle of painkillers and a glass of water. “Here, have these,” she cradles Kai’s head in an arm and slips the pills into his mouth. “Drink,” with a gentleness Kai has never experienced from her, Aleana helps him swallow some water. “You,” she says, turning to Chanyeol. “want something to eat?”

Chanyeol shakes his head, still frowning in Kai’s way. “But I could use some sleep.”

“Then, come on. Let’s see you tucked in,” Aleana sighs and drapes an arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders.

“Try to sleep,” Dania says as she covers his shivering body with a blanket. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Sehun,” Kai lets out in a croak, pressing a side of his face into the cushion against the armrest.

“Forget about him,” Chanyeol spits furiously. “Try to look after your own tail first, Kai.”

“Come on. Let him sleep,” Dania says and ushers Chanyeol upstairs.

Aleana strokes Kai’s blood-stained hair and pats his head, letting out a dejected breath. “He will pay for this,” Kai hears her whisper before the room falls into darkness.

Though the physical agony is bad, his heart hurts worse. He does not know what happened in the nightclub, but it seems quite obvious that Adrian has discovered the truth and there was and is nothing that Kai could do to placate his anger. His thoughts are then overhauled by Sehun. He believes that Adrian will not harm Sehun due to the fact that Sehun alone is Adrian’s only felicity in life right now, but he is not going to forgive Sehun either. Kai slowly loses his consciousness again, his senses exhausted to the end.

 

* * *

 

Jongin grapples a protective arm around Sehun to help him step out of the car. “You okay?” Jongin inquires just to be sure that he is not touching anywhere that hurts.

Sehun pins him with a reassuring smile, holding onto Jongin’s shoulder.

“Sehun,” Thea chimes, hurrying out of the cabin. “How are you now?” she asks with a subtle frown.

“I’m doing better, Thea,” Sehun says and accepts her embrace with a wince.

“You _look_ better. That’s good,” she says and turns around to help Baekhyun with the bags. “I’ve got them.”

“Great, thanks,” Baekhyun beams back at her.

“No problem. I’ll leave them in your rooms. I must make a quick run to my house to fetch some stuff. I’ll be right back. Make yourselves at home.”

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun says as Thea heads back into the inn. Turning to Jongin and Sehun, he asks, “Right, so you guys will be good?”

“Are you leaving? Already?” Sehun asks. “Don’t you want to come inside?”

“No, that’s fine,” he leans forward to give Sehun a careful hug. “I should head home. But just give me a call if you need anything.”

The sudden ruffle of the branches catches their attention before Sky steals it as he jogs out of the forest, without a shirt and bathed in sweat. The cold wintry night breeze could do little to dry the beads of sweat trickling down his thick chest and abdominal muscles. He flashes a brilliant smile when his eyes find them in the front yard and jogs up to them.

“Thought I smelled something nice for once around here,” he says with a charming chuckle and stops before them, panting for air. Jongin does not miss the way Baekhyun checks Sky out, scanning him from top to toe before his gaze freezes at Sky’s heaving abs. “I heard about what happened. I’m sorry,” Sky says to Sehun, who only manages a small smile and glances away.

“How are you feeling now?”

“Fine,” Sehun answers monosyllabically.

“Jogging at night? Aren’t you cold?” Jongin asks Sky, cocking his head.

“Oh, he’s quite the opposite,” Baekhyun sighs and bites his lower lip.

Sky looks to him and lets out a light laugh, running a hand through his sweaty golden hair.

“I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. I’m Baekhyun,” Baekhyun says and offers a hand. Accepting it, Sky gives it a shake.

“Sky.”

“Wow. You’ve got a firm grip. Makes one think what else that hand can do.”

“Baekhyun, you were just leaving,” Jongin reminds and nudges him towards the car.

“I should go, too,” Sky says, pointing back to the forest. “I just came by to see if Adrian and my brother are back.”

“Oh, your brother went with them?” Baekhyun says, as though to make a pointless conversation with Sky, and moves a step closer to Sky. “The other hottie, right? Boy, you must have good genes running in your family.”

Sky laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes keep flitting to Sehun, who seems rather disinterested by the conversation or just Sky in general. “We should go in,” Jongin mutters to Sehun and starts toward the cabin. “See you around, Sky.”

He halts in his tracks when Sehun stops to glare at the forest. Sky quickly follows Sehun’s gaze and they stare at the darkness between the pine trees without any aim.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin decides to ask, but Sehun seems too strenuous to answer. “Sehun?”

His eyes dart to Sky, who is all tensed up with his hands balled into fists at his side. “Get inside,” he says in a low growl, advancing toward the forest.

“What is happening?” Baekhyun demands in a whisper.

“Adrian,” Sehun breathes out.

Jongin’s heart beats in his throat when the thump of heavy and rapid steps amplifies from the woods. “Something’s wrong,” Sky rasps and bursts into a spell of a sprint at full speed before he rips out of his skin and clothes. Jongin is robbed of all his breaths when Sky bounds to the air and lands in the vicinity of the forest as a fully grown golden wolf, taut with blade-like bones and tight muscles and a glorious layer of thick gold fur.

The next instant, a vicious wolf, as black as the starless night, twice Sky’s size, explodes out of the forest and jerks to a halt, gasconading with pride and power. Adrian… Jongin’s chest tightens and his heart starts to hammer against it. The Black Wolf bares its teeth at Sky and lets out a menacing growl, as though to warn Sky to back away. Jongin breathlessly gawks at the Black Wolf’s ruby red eyes and he does not need to be a Lycan to understand that those eyes are full of hunger and raw rage.

The Golden Wolf, though smaller in size when compared to the Black Wolf, lowers to the ground, snarls threateningly.

“What’s going on?” Jongin asks Sehun with horrifying dread.

Sehun shakes his head, looking like he is slapped by a ghost. “I don’t know,” he gasps, limping a step forward. “I don’t know.”

Then with a murderous roar, the Black Wolf launches past Sky, bulleting toward Sehun. Jongin’s heart almost jumps out of him when Sky retaliates by pouncing onto Adrian, sending him crashing into the snow.

Sehun gasps, clasping his hands over his mouth. With tears welled up in his eyes, Sehun staggers back before Jongin’s hands reach out to steady him as the wolves brawl into the snow, their roars and howls disrupting the silence of the night.

“Oh, my god, no,” Sehun whimpers as tears roll down his cheeks. Slipping out of Sky’s grip, the Black Wolf lunges at Sehun before it is blocked by the Golden Wolf, which drives him back to the snow. Staggering back to its paws, the Black Wolf shoots forward on full throttle and like a dart, it plunges through the Golden Wolf without an ounce of mercy. A shrill cry escapes past Sky’s teeth when the Black Wolf sinks its razor-sharp teeth into its shoulder, breaking the bones with a snap before it stomps a paw into the Golden Wolf’s face, thrusting it into the snow.

“No!” Jongin and Baekhyun squawk in unison as the Black Wolf raises its head, starting towards Sehun and Jongin in a slow stride with Sky’s blood dripping from his bared teeth and jaw while the Golden Wolf whimpers into the ground, still trying to push itself up to its feet, but collapses back to the ground every time. The sob tightens in Jongin’s throat and his own eyes betray him as the tears begin to fall. It is Adrian and yet, Jongin could not see the man behind the black beast’s bloody eyes.

Jongin withdraws a couple of steps, pulling Sehun back with him. “He knows,” Sehun lets out shakily. “Adrian,” he says, looking to the Black Wolf. “I’m so… sorry.”

Jongin’s gaze darts to Baekhyun, who looks beyond terrified, but ready to step in. But before he could, a car pulls up in the driveway before Finn and Kris burst out of it, sprinting towards the Black Wolf. Tearing into a tawny-gold wolf, Finn springs and pounces on Adrian before putting himself between the wolves. He lets out a furious howl and snarls at the Black Wolf that idly stares at Finn for a moment. Then all of a sudden, Adrian flips on his paws and bolts back into the woods.

Finn turns around and whimpers, nudging his nose gentle into Sky’s face, as though to wake him up. When he doesn’t, Finn nuzzles again, letting out a soft growl.

“Jesus,” Kris says and palms his forehead. “Are you all right?” he asks Baekhyun, who looks like he might never recover from the shock. Jongin isn’t sure he himself could either. “You two need to get out of here,” he says, looking to Jongin a beat later. “Sehun, you, too.”

Wiping the tears from his cheeks, Sehun shakes his head. “I’m not going anywhere. I… I must talk to him.”

“He won’t listen. Whatever that caused him this angry, he is not going to forgive any of you that easily. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s not gonna listen.”

“He will. When he calms down…” he swallows. “Where’s… Kai?” Jongin could see the palpable concern on Sehun’s face. Jongin’s knees are close to buckling at the thought of Kai facing such a rage. “Oh, my god. Is he—”

“He’s fine,” Kris spits, crouching to the ground to lift the injured wolf into his arms, leaving a patch of blood on the snow. Finn growls angrily at Kris when Sky shudders. “Just trying to help, Finn. I’ve to get him home,” Kris tells the others. “Get out of here. Now,” he orders Baekhyun through his teeth and the Pantherinae gives him a shaky nod before the Lycans disappear through the forest.

Fazed and out of breath, Jongin faces Sehun. “He… was going to hurt you,” he says in a low voice. “You’re his brother… How could he—”

“He wouldn’t have…” Sehun mutters, choking on his own sob.

“Are you kidding me?!” Baekhyun hisses at Sehun. “He would have killed you! Did you see that murderous look on his face?! If it weren’t for Sky… God, the guy literally got his arse kicked for you!”

Sehun breaks into a sob and Jongin shakily pulls him into an embrace, though he isn’t sure he could be the one that could offer him comfort. If Adrian was ready to hurt his own brother, Jongin could only imagine what could be in store for him. His chest hurts, stomach clenches and head spins. This can’t be happening. He had expected Adrian to be mad, but how vengeful must he actually be to be _this_ monstrous?

“How could he have found out?” Jongin exhales.

Sehun pulls back and sniffles. “I don’t know. But Kris is right. You need to leave.”

“What about you?”

“I can’t go. I have to talk to him. He feels… angry and betrayed by his own remaining family. I must talk to him. But you need to go. And… please… let me know if Kai is okay.” There is a pain in Sehun’s reddened eyes as he pleads.

“Come on, Jongin,” Baekhyun spits and hauls Jongin away from Sehun. “The chances of us surviving that sort of bite are very slim.”

When Jongin glances back to Sehun, the latter hisses, “Go.”

 

* * *

 

The cold is what registers to him foremost before the brightness seeps into his vision with its painstaking determination to awaken his senses. A gritty moan rushes past his lips as he tries to push himself up from the snow numbing his muscles.

As he sits up, the sun is blocked by a figure and Adrian squints at the silhouette. Lara tosses him a blanket along with a pair of trousers and a shirt. “Thought you might need a hand after your little rampage last night.”

Adrian exhales a heavy breath and rises to his feet. “What are you doing here?” he asks in a hoarse voice, pulling the pants on.

“You left our conversation midway last night,” Lara coos, gazing up and down as Adrian gets dressed. Then pushing his hair out of his face, Adrian starts towards his cottage. He must have passed out in the woods before managing to reach home. His head pounds with a low thrum, his body sore with fatigue. “Oh, wait,” Lara wipes the corner of his mouth with her thumb and smiles. “There.”

Adrian sucks in a deep breath, clenching his jaw. “Stay away from, Lara,” he spits and shoves past her.

“Oh, come on!” she groans, hurrying after him. “I made it all the way here to pay you a visit. As a friend. You know, to renew our severed ties.”

Turning on his heel, Adrian fixes her with a glower. “I don’t want us to be friends, Lara. Whatever that you think you’re doing, it’s not going to happen. So, leave.”

“Heard about what you did last night,” Lara chimes, picking on her cuticles. “Impressive. You attacked your own pack member. Now, that’s not one to be let slid, is it?”

Adrian clenches his eyes shut for a moment, drawing in deep breaths to calm his nerves. Memories from last night flood his mind at once and his body feels sorer than ever. He had hurt Sky intentionally and therefore, has antagonized the Hazeldines. “I almost hurt my brother last night,” he whispers when he opens his eyes. “I know it… I wasn’t going to stop… I…” he trails off.

Lara splays her fingers over his chest. “And… do you regret it?”

“That’s thing… I don’t. I… want to hurt him. I want to hurt them all. Sehun, the most. He… is loyal to that family… He married the murderer’s grandson… And he lied to my face. For the peace accord.”

“They were all using you for just that, Adrian. You have power and you made it easy for them by being Sehun’s brother.”

Adrian stares into Lara’s emerald eyes. “How do you know all this?”

A smile forms on her face. “I have my resources. Resources that can also help you get your revenge.”

Adrian turns around, heading for the cottage. “I’m not sure how I can get my revenge. Kai’s grandfather is dead. And that’s most frustrating part… I can’t get my revenge. It feels like there is no end to all this anger I thought I had gotten over.”

“Adrian,” Lara overtakes him and stops him in his path. “This family… This Pantherinae your brother married has no remorse. If he did, he would have apologized to you first and come clean from the start. He didn’t. And even to this moment, he only wants what’s on his agenda.”

Adrian brushes past her and strides into the cottage.

“You can’t take your revenge on them,” Lara cries out. “But you can sure as hell make certain that history doesn’t repeat itself! You are the only Black Wolf all of us know and that entails many perks, Adrian. We will follow if you lead.”

Halting, Adrian turns around to face her. “What are you talking about?”

Lara advances forward and lets herself into the cottage. “I’m saying you can’t take your revenge by killing your brother’s husband. But you can eradicate what caused our families’ death in the first place _and_ punish those who betrayed you in the process. Think about it.”

Adrian closes the door and waits for Lara to take her seat on the chair. “I am angry, Lara. I really am. But… I’m not sure I’ll be able to forgive myself if I ever… harmed Sehun.”

“You don’t have to harm him to really hurt him, Adrian,” she says with a smirk. “My pack and the others have been trying endlessly to drive these Pantherinaes far away from here.”

“All those attacks and break-ins.”

“Yes. But these Pantherinaes are much more pacified these days, they don’t want a war, anymore. This is the perfect time to strike them, Adrian. But you can’t just go around, wanting to take a revenge on only the one that murdered your family. Think carefully. They’ve been killing our kind for centuries and no one has stopped before. If you’re blindly believing that your brother-in-law is after a peace treaty between both parties, then you’re not smart enough. I get the impression that you believed him because your brother believed him, but can you really believe your brother now? You need a plan, Adrian, if you really want to hurt these people that made all of our lives a hell.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Adrian starts to pace the room. “What are you suggesting?”

“We break them. You have the largest pack for the time being. Imagine it combined with mine. Imagine how many other packs will be enticed to join forces with us. Then against us, those Pantherinaes with their single Pride is nothing comparable.”

“Wait a second. By combining your pack with mine, you mean through mating and marriage.”

“Obviously,” she smiles and Adrian licks his lips, frowning. “Boy, you’re overthinking this when we’ve been endgame since we were teenagers.”

Sighing, Adrian shakes his head. “It’s not that, Lara. It’s just that… I wanna get out there and kill Sehun, Kai… Jongin,” he pauses as though his tongue is rendered thick. “But I wouldn’t know for what. But I want to. I want to hurt them so bad. For making a fool out of me, for… for letting me trust them so. God, I’m such an idiot for believing everything that came out of their mouths. And you know what’s the worst part? I let one of them in and I let him see my vulnerabilities. I… I can’t believe I pitied a man who cared more about his own skin. But that’s not reason enough. I want to take revenge on the man that killed my parents, that caused me all this pain. But I _can’t_.”

“And I understand that perfectly, Ian,” she sighs, shooting up to hold Adrian’s burning face in her hands. “Trust me, no one will understand that pain better than I. I’ve been through everything that you have. Why do you think we were both able to fight our way up to the Alpha spot? We have the fire, the anger, the determination. We just need to channel them in the right way to get what we need.”

Adrian screws his eyes shut and feels Lara’s warm lips upon his in a brief kiss. “I’m at a loss, Lara.”

“We can’t get back all those years we’ve lost, Adrian. But we can make them pay for it. While we take down the entire Pride, you can also hurt each of them and I’ll help you in whatever way you need.”

Gritting his teeth, Adrian draws back. “And I know where to start.” His insides burn with ferocity, hungry like he has never been before. “But first, I need to fix what I did to Sky and apologize to the pack.”


	22. Chapter 22

The instant he cracks an eye open, he finds Chanyeol staring at him, seated on the couch across with his lips pressed into a thin line. Letting out a hoarse breath, Kai lifts his head and pushes himself up to a slanted sitting position.

“You’re a sight to sore eyes,” Kai sighs, scrubbing his eyes on the hilt of his palms.

Chanyeol exhales heavily and gnaws on his lip for an instant. “How are you feeling?”

“Spectacular,” he mutters, rubbing his temples, as though to wipe the brutal pounding in his head away. He squints at the sunlight leaking through the cracks of the drapes before fixing his gaze on his cousin.

“Um, Kai,” Chanyeol starts, licking the lip he has been worrying. “I just got off the phone with Baekhyun. Something happened last night at the inn.”

Kai stiffens, his mouth going dry. “Are they… okay?”

“Yes. But… Adrian apparently went on full rampage and, uh, he had hurt, I quote Baekhyun, ‘one of the two the golden hotties’. Jongin is with him now and they’re both at Baekhyun’s parents’ place.”

“And Sehun?”

“He’s fine, too.”

Kai breathes out a sigh of relief, rubbing his forehead. “I should go see him.”

“No. You need a bath first. But before that, why on earth did you let that bastard bludgeon you like that?!”

“Because we were on Lycan territory, Chanyeol. And… I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Because I know and I understand that fury he felt. I would have made it worse if I had retaliated,” he pauses, casting his gaze low. “I can only imagine how… hurt and confused he must be right now.”

“Still. He shouldn’t have hit you.”

“His anger is justifiable, Chanyeol. I… I come from the family he wants nothing to do with. The family that destroyed not only his, but many other families. I think… I could understand why he must feel betrayed. I should have told him everything from the beginning. Now, everything looks like I was using him for the accord.”

“Kai, you didn’t kill his parents. Your grandfather did. He can’t place the price of his parents’ death on your head. You had no part to play in it!”

“Neither did his parents, Chanyeol!” Kai yaps, jolting up to his feet. “What wrong did they do? God,” he buries his face in his palms for a moment. “He’s going to want to punish us. For what our ancestors did. Because he is a victim. He must think that we are getting off, scot-free, for all the crimes our kind has committed. Shit. I messed up big time. We have to go.”

“Go where?” Dania’s voice surges into the room before she makes an appearance with a tray in her hands, topped by a couple of mugs.

“Thanks for letting us stay the night, Dani,” Kai says. “But I’ve got to run.”

“Not so soon, young man. Not until you tell us what’s going on,” Aleana chides, sauntering into the room, clad in her usual pantsuit. “No tea for me?” she asks Dania with a simple smile on her lips as she exchanges a brief kiss with her partner.

Dania sighs, tucking a lock of her dark hair behind her ear before she places the tray on the coffee table. “Kai, are you going to tell us about what happened last night?”

“Yes, Kai. Tell them,” Chanyeol says, scowling in his way. “Tell them how a Lycan hammered you in the face, even when you have been nothing but entirely nice to him.” It is hard to see Chanyeol’s feathers ruffled. But right now, he seems beyond vexed by the situation.

“Your brother-in-law,” Dania says, looking to Aleana, who only shakes her head in disappointment.

“Whatever this is, it seems like a personal row. Kai, you think you can settle this on your own?” Aleana asks.

“I don’t need you two to worry,” Kai tells them with a reassuring smile. “Everything will work out. I’ve got it under control.” It is a blatant lie. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, can I use your shower?”

“I found a sweater and a pair of pants you could wear,” Dania says.

“Thank you. I owe you both,” he pecks on Dania’s cheek before bolting upstairs.

 

* * *

 

“Hi,” Sehun lets out when Finn gets the door.

“Sehun,” Finn says, running a hand through his hair. “What are you… doing here?”

Sehun clears his throat. “I… I almost got lost looking for your house,” he lets out a nervous and dry laugh. The Hazeldine residence is almost as big as the inn, though it looks more like a gingerbread house with the snow icing its roof. “I got tired of waiting for Adrian to show up and I just figured I should… pop by to see how… your brother is doing.”

“An injured shoulder didn’t change the fact that he’s still a spoiled little brat,” Finn shrugs. “Come on in.”

Sehun sucks in a shaky breath as he enters the house, unbuttoning his coat. “Is anyone else… home?”

“No. They’re at work while I get to stay home and babysit my foolish little brother.”

“He saved me last night,” Sehun murmurs, lowering his head. “That wasn’t foolish. He doesn’t even know me and… he put my safety before his.”

“I know, but more often than not, his inclination toward charity does not usually cause him a broken shoulder.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Finn’s lips stretch into half a smile. “I’m just messing with you. It’s nice that you dropped by. He’s upstairs. First room to your right.”

Sehun nods and starts towards the stairs.

“Oh, how are you, by the way?” Finn asks, halting Sehun in his tracks. “I heard about the fire.”

“I’m all patched up,” Sehun tries to smile, but the burden his heart carries makes it impossible. “Is… Adrian in trouble for what he did last night?”

“He might be. We’ve known Adrian since we were kids. He’s like a brother to us. And though I’ve seen that side of him before… it wasn’t this bad. Care to share what made him like this?” he crosses his arms over his chest. When Sehun continues to keep mum, Finn heaves a sigh. “All right. I get it. It’s family drama. Whatever it is, you ought to get things sorted out quick before your brother causes further damages.”

“I promise. I’ll fix this. This won’t happen again.”

“It better not, Sehun. We all love Adrian. He has been someone we all either want to be or want to be with. He’s a family to us all. And he has never done anything to jeopardize the pack. Until you showed up, anyway.”

Sehun’s eyebrows knit in a frown. “What do you mean?”

“Let me be blunt. When people start to think that _you_ are the bad news around here… they are going to side with the Alpha. I’m sure you understand.”

“You want me gone…”

“No, no. I’m just saying you’re bad for Adrian.”

Sehun swallows and bows his head. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“You showed up here married to a Pantherinae. He was close to kicking a member out of the pack, for the first time.  Then he almost attacked you. I’m not sure Adrian would want to do that without a reason.”

“I’m not the bad guy here.”

“I really hope you’re not, Sehun. But you’ve caused enough trouble.”

There is nothing that Sehun could do to convince Finn that he isn’t the root of the problems. Because perhaps he is. Perhaps marrying Kai in the first place is a mistake. His heart aches on its own when the thought of Kai invades his mind.

“Go on, then,” Finn urges and Sehun proceeds upstairs before entering the room, in which he finds shirtless Sky resting on a bed, shirtless with his back leaned against the headboard and earphones blaring. Sehun’s gaze lands on Sky’s shoulder that is wrapped in a brace and something twists inside him.

Sky’s eyes flutter open and dart to Sehun in the doorway. “Sehun,” he rasps, ripping the earphones off and starts to get off the bed.

“No, stay. It’s okay,” Sehun insists, ambling over to the bedside. “How… how are you?”

Sky openly stares at him with bulging eyes and lips parted, as though to pierce through Sehun’s soul. Sehun looks away, feeling a little uncomfortable by Sky’s tireless gaze. “I’m sorry,” Sky lets out a chuckle. “I can’t believe you’re actually standing in my room right now.”

“Well, after what you did for me last night…” he trails off, glancing around the room. It is a typical boy’s room. Posters on the wall, unwashed dirty clothes strewn across the floor, books scattered on the desk. It reminds Sehun of Adrian’s room when he was young. “It’s the least I could do. I would have brought fruits, but you definitely don’t look like the type to eat fruits.”

Sky laughs easily and Sehun decides that has to be his best trait. The ability to smile like the world is a perfect paradise. “My room’s an ugly mess. I’m sorry.” He picks up his clothes from the chair at his desk, clearing it for Sehun to sit. The nervousness seems palpable when Sky pushes a hand through the mussed golden locks of hair.

“Why did you… do that?” Sehun asks in a low murmur, unable to meet Sky’s icy blue eyes.

“I… don’t know,” he mutters. “I’m sorry if it wasn’t my place, but I… I couldn’t just stand back and watch, you know.”

“And you got hurt.”

“Oh, this?” he scoffs, rolling his shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. It’ll heal in a snap.”

“I’m sorry about my brother. I never knew he could… be like this. And this is all my fault.”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up for it. It’s just Adrian. Brothers fight, don’t they?” he smiles again. “Besides, Finn has bit my arse worse than this. I’m not mad at Adrian. I’m just… confused as to what made him _this_ furious.”

Sehun realizes that Sky is expecting an explanation and he supposes Sky deserves at least that after what he had done last night. “I… I don’t know for certain, but I think he found out that I… married the grandson of our parents’ murderer.” He could muster the courage to see the reaction in Sky’s expression, so he continues to keep his gaze low.

“Wow. That is… messed up,” Sky lets out after a long stretch of silence, leaning back on his bed. “And you hid it from him?”

“I wanted him to see that not all Pantherinaes are ruthless.”

“Adrian already knows that, Sehun,” Sky says. “We all do.”

Sehun swallows hard. “I know what I did was wrong, but he hates me to the extent that he wanted to hurt me? That isn’t fair.”

“He lived through all those years thinking that he had lost you. And he finds out that you’ve been happy all this time with the people who made his life a hell…”

“I was nowhere near happy, Sky. I suffered the same hell as him. He just doesn’t know.”

“Well, maybe it’s about time you’ve stopped keeping all these secrets from him?” he says in the gentlest voice Sehun has heard in a while. “Don’t pull such a long face. Everything will be fine.” He flashes a comforting grin and extends a hand. Sehun stares at his huge hand wrap around Sehun’s knee. “You must be pretty shaken.”

“For a moment,” Sehun whispers without taking his eyes off Sky’s hand on his lap. “I thought everything was going so smoothly. I was happy for a while. I should have known it was too good to last.”

Sky retrieves his hand and the charming smile completely vanishes from his face, replaced by an upset frown. “I don’t know you very well, Sehun. But… I wish I did. And I want to be your friend. If you’ll… let me be one of those happy things in your life.”

Sehun smiles. “Of course. I’d like that. Though, I get the impression that your brothers don’t really like me.”

“Don’t mind them. They’re just total drama queens,” Sky scoffs. “Look. Give it some time. Adrian will calm down and he will be in the mood to reason again.” He stiffens and glances to the door before jolting up to his feet.

Sehun perks up, his breath catching. “He’s here.”

“Don’t worry. He won’t hurt you,” Sky promises and reaches to hold Sehun’s hand, but doesn’t when his eyes fall on the wedding band around Sehun’s finger. Clearing his throat, Sky leads Sehun downstairs where they find Finn at the door, holding it open.

“Where is he?” Sehun hears his brother’s voice before he catches a sight of Adrian over Finn’s shoulder. His reddened, tired eyes turn to Sehun at once and something breaks inside Sehun when he realizes his brother is no longer angry, but his anger is all replaced by desolation and numbness.

“It’s okay,” Sky says to Finn and pushes past him to stand before Adrian. There is sincere guilt in Adrian’s eyes when he looks to Sky’s shoulder. “Yeah, I know you’re sorry.”

“You have no idea,” Adrian lets out, rubbing the back of his neck. “I lost control.”

“I know. We all have. I can understand.”

“I still am very sorry. Sky… I…” he licks his lips and swallows. “I never thought I would ever hurt you. I didn’t want to. I—”

“Oh, cut it out, man,” Sky throws an arm over Adrian’s shoulder, yanking him into half an embrace.

Adrian scoffs, patting on Sky’s back. “Wow, you’re such a forgiver.”

“You’ve always set an example for us all,” Sky says, pulling back from Adrian. “Now, let me set an example for you.” with a smirk, he cocks an eyebrow and holds out his good arm, gesturing towards Sehun. “If I could forgive you for this, you can forgive your brother.”

Tears well up in Sehun’s eyes when he dares himself to look up at his brother. “Adrian,” he exhales, taking a hesitant step closer. Sky leaves them and shuts the door to offer them some privacy.

Adrian clenches his jaw, though he does not break eye-contact.

“Adrian,” Sehun pleads again. “I am so, so, so sorry. I should have told you. I know I should have. I’m sorry. You are my brother. I would never do anything to hurt you, Adrian. I know that you have every right to be mad at me, but I had no choice, Adrian. I got married because I no longer cared about me. I had no one. I didn’t know you were alive. I didn’t care about me anymore. Kai had married me for a good cause and I wanted the feud to end, too. It doesn’t mean I forgive the man that murdered our parents, Adrian. I don’t. I can’t. But I cannot blame Kai for it. I hated those Pantherinaes, too. I wanted them all dead. But things have changed, Adrian. You know that Kai means well.”

Adrian breathes out a sigh and a curt chuckle. “Right. Well, look, Sehun. I’m not as forgiving as you. And I’m not married to a Pantherinae so that I will have to consider being kind to them anymore. And I actually don’t care whether it was Kai or his grandfather that killed our parents. My family was destroyed by his and not even you can deny it,” he sucks in a breath. “But you _are_ my brother. So, I’m going to offer you an ultimatum. The choice is yours, Sehun. I’m not going to force your hand. But if you want to remain in this pack, if you still want to be my brother, you need choose the side right. When the time comes, Kai will show his true colours and then, you won’t have a home or a family to return to because by then, I would have renounced you, I would have severed any tie that you have with me and this pack. You’ll be an orphan all over again and I’d love to see which Pantherinae will have the magnanimity to accept you into their home,” he pauses. “You can’t play for both teams, Sehun.”

Sehun feels suffocated, choking on his own breath. “You’re… asking me to choose between my brother and my husband?”

“You can’t be my brother and also be Kai’s husband,” Adrian spits. “So, choose wisely. I am willing to forgive you, but I won’t if you continue to side with a man from that murderous family.”

Sehun swallows his sobs and wipes the tears that fall to his cheeks. “Adrian, please. Don’t… make me choose.”

“Huh,” Adrian snorts. “You must love him if you’re thinking so much to choose between your own pack, family, brother and a single Pantherinae.”

“But he has done nothing wrong.”

“What wrong have we done, then? Why were we punished all those years?” he closes the distance between them and cups Sehun’s chin. “You need to wake up, Sehun. Pantherinaes will show their spots at some point. I might try to hurt you, but at the end of the day, I’m still your brother, this pack will still be your family. You will have a home here,” he strokes his thumb along Sehun’s jawline. “Who do you need in your life, Sehun?”

Sehun looks up at his brother with tears brimming in his eyes. “You,” he whimpers, dropping his face onto Adrian’s chest to weep against it. “I need my brother. I’m so sorry, Adrian,” he gasps and sniffles, fisting Adrian’s flannel shirt in a bunch.

Adrian drapes an arm around Sehun’s trembling body.


	23. Chapter 23

When Kai pulls over and exits the sleek black SUV, he finds Thea on the veranda, adorning the leafless shrubs with Christmas lights. “Kai,” Thea rasps, hurrying down the steps.

“Where is he?” Kai demands, striding towards the cabin.

“Wait, wait,” Thea blocks his path with her hands on his chest. “You shouldn’t be here, Kai. You must go now,” she says with sincere concern. “Things aren’t going well around here.”

“Yeah, I know. Which is why I must speak with him, Thea,” Kai spits. “And he _will_ listen. I’m not going anywhere until he does.” He pulls his black coat close and crosses his arms over his chest.

Thea frowns. “Sehun… Sehun is staying, Kai. And he hasn’t eaten all day. He’s been cooped up in his room all this while. But I don’t think he’s will leave with you.”

Kai’s mouth goes dry with it hits him. “Adrian’s forcing him to stay?” he snaps furiously.

“He apparently told Sehun that if he left, he cannot come back,” Thea lowers her head for a moment. “Look, Kai. I don’t think you should try to talk to Adrian right now. He won’t listen to anyone. I’ve seen him like this before and trust me, anything you say will go over his head. That is why he is both the best and the worst to be a leader… You should come back when he’s ready to reason.”

“Who does he think he is to do that?” Kai hisses through his grit teeth. “I get that he’s mad at me, but he does not _own_ Sehun. No one does! How could he manipulate him into staying?!”

“Manipulate him?” Adrian’s scoff booms when he storms out through the door and strides over to Kai. “Before you start accusing me of shit, know this. First, this is _my_ territory. I could kill you for stepping in here without my permission. Second, you fucking bastard have quite some balls, don’t you? Marching up here with that smug face of yours after you played me into a truce with the grandson of the arsehole that killed my parents. Some guts you’ve got there, you son of a bitch.” He shoves Kai back by the chest and Kai staggers a step, his hands rolled into fists and teeth clenched. There is only so much he could do to not to drive his fist into Adrian’s skull, but it will only cause more chaos. “And Sehun is welcomed to leave anytime he wants. Yeah, like you said, I don’t own him. By all means, take your husband with you if he wants to go with you. Sehun!” he yaps and glances back to the cabin.

When Sehun walks through the door a moment later, hugging his body to protect himself from the cold, Kai’s stomach twists as his heart skips a beat. Sehun meets his gaze with a miserable frown and a pair of red, puffy eyes.

“Go ahead,” Adrian says in a low growl. “Take him and leave, and see if I care.”

Kai shifts his eyes to Sehun over Adrian’s shoulder. “Sehun?” he calls in a murmur, but Sehun drops his gaze, refusing to look at him anymore. Kai grits his teeth and hangs his head, shaking it slowly. “You’re punishing us when we’ve done nothing wrong, Adrian,” he mutters, raising his head to frown at his brother-in-law.

“Nothing wrong?” Adrian arches an eyebrow.

“Yes, okay, fine. I shouldn’t have kept the truth from you. But I was going to tell you.”

“When? When you’ve gotten the accord signed?”

 “You _know_ me now, Adrian. You know that I am nothing like the Pantherinaes that killed your parents, for which I’m terribly sorry. It isn’t fair. Not to me, definitely not to your brother. You can’t make him choose between me and you. You’re just trying make us suffer.”

Adrian takes a step closer and smiles faintly. “Well, it’s good that you know,” he says in a low voice. “Makes it more fun to see you hurt now.” He turns on his heel and starts towards the cabin. “Get out of here before I change my mind about not breaking your neck.”

Thea flashes Kai a sad smile before she disappears into the inn, leaving Sehun and Kai alone.

Kai stares at Sehun, who still refuses to meet his gaze. “So, that’s it, huh?” Kai lets out in a whisper.

Sehun sniffles and lifts his head at last. “He’s my brother.”

Kai nods his head, sucking on his bottom lip. “Right. I understand.” He turns around to march back to his car, but stops when Sehun sucks in a shaky gasp.

“Kai,” he calls and Kai turns to face him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” Kai exhales, though his chest silently cries in an agony he has never felt before. It feels as if he has missed the last train to his happily-ever-after. He even manages a small smile. “It’s okay, Sehun. I’ll be here in a heartbeat when you want me to be. But you just got your brother back, I don’t want you to lose him again.”

Sehun sniffs and wipes the corner of his eye before looking away into the forest. Kai hesitates for a second, then drawing in a sharp breath, he proceeds to his car.

 

* * *

 

Though Baekhyun had urged him to not to leave so soon, Jongin decided that he needs some time alone to think things through. He had promised Baekhyun and his parents that he would find someplace safe to stay until all of this blows over, and that he would be the last thing on Adrian’s mind right now. He is so convinced of it that his heart will not stop aching.

The manor is quieter than usual tonight when he lets himself in, lugging the bags. Tempted to make a call to the inn to check on Sehun, he stares at the telephone for a moment before deciding it is probably not the best idea. He turns the lights off as he proceeds upstairs, his bones feeling awfully heavy to carry.

Once in the shelter of his room, he pulls his coat off and turns the bedside lamp on. As much as he wants to just lay down and sleep for days, he isn’t sure he would be able to catch a wink. No matter how much he tries, he cannot escape the horrors of those red eyes. Even so, he longs to see the man behind those eyes. Of course, he wouldn’t be surprised if Adrian has dismissed him altogether from his life. After all, Jongin must be the least significant person in this situation.

The thought of what might happen to Kai and Sehun now perturbs him, though. He does not want this to cause chaos between them. He does not want Adrian to ruin the one thing that is both Sehun and Kai’s salvage. They are finding new adventures, they have the fortune of going on this exhilarating journey of finding solace in each other. Pantherinae or Lycan, it no longer matters to either Kai or Sehun. At least they deserve to be happy hereafter.

He aimlessly stares the books on the shelf, wondering what is it that makes his chest hurt so when he thinks about Adrian. They certainly do not know enough about each other to be in love. But according to those books Jongin has read, the familiarity and understanding between two lovers are not particularly necessary for them to fall in love unconditionally. It seems like a universal lie now. He isn’t sure what love feels like. But no one ever warned him about the pain it inflicts.

He closes his eyes and takes a breath. It is a torture, every time he closes his eyes, he feels lonely for a moment and then he thinks about the chances of Adrian being there. Of course, right now, it feels more like a nightmare than a pleasant dream. A dream, that is all love can ever be for him. And it will go away the minute he opens his eyes.

But this time, when he flutters his eyes open, he finds the room overwhelmed by Adrian’s scent and when he turns around with his heart beating in his throat, he finds Adrian in the doorway, his face as blank as a clean slate.

“You left the front door unlocked,” Adrian mutters, taking a step into the room. Jongin begins to slowly pant for air, his body tensing up with every step Adrian takes forward. Blood pounds in his ears and his hands tremble with sudden alarm.

And then the numbness takes over. His limbs tired, his heart sinking. Jongin does not see the murderous hunger behind Adrian’s eyes. There is just the misery of betrayal and despair. He wants to ask what he is doing here, but then figures out the answer himself.

“I’m… so sorry,” Jongin lets out with tears threatening his tired eyes. Adrian does not respond as he comes to a stop, several feet before Jongin, but continues to hold onto Jongin’s apologetic gaze. “I know whatever that I say right now would sound like an excuse, but I really wasn’t trying to hurt you, Adrian. I wasn’t trying to play the victim card. I know you had suffered and I should have told you. But it wasn’t my place. I wasn’t… taking advantage of your feelings. I wasn’t using you for the accord. I was scared… that if you knew, you’d… hate me. That was selfish of me, yes, and I’m sorry. So sorry. I know that a simple sorry might not change anything for you… And if you no longer want to talk to me or see me again… I would understand.” He lowers his head, letting a teardrop fall to the floor.

Adrian continues to stare at him without giving anything away by his blank expression.

Jongin bites his lip, sniffling hard to stop the tears from attacking his eyes. The saddest part of it all is that the silly future he had been dreaming of ever since the night Adrian kissed him will never come true. Perhaps this is his comeuppance for wanting too much.

“Maybe,” he starts, hoping that Adrian would not hear the tremble in his voice. “we should talk and sort things out.”

Adrian crosses the room with the sudden look of longing in his gaze. “I don’t want to talk,” he breathes out, grabbing both sides of Jongin’s face and without a warning, crushes Jongin’s lips under his. Jongin loses all his strength to breathe as the musky, forest scent of Adrian’s skin floods his senses. A fire settles in his stomach when Adrian slides a hand back to cup his head and deepens the kiss that is both fiery and demanding. The world slips away and in seconds, Jongin is trapped in Adrian’s world, never wanting to leave. His mouth burns against Adrian’s, his hands desperately cling onto Adrian’s shirt, holding onto him tightly as though he can stop Adrian from leaving again.

The instant the kiss turns gentle and tender, Jongin’s body goes limp and Adrian’s arm comes around him to hold him up. They pant and gasp into the kiss, their tongues pressed and curling around one another. Adrian’s lips part from Jongin’s all of a sudden and Jongin leans forward, chasing for more as always. Sliding a hand into Jongin’s shirt at the back, Adrian pulls him close enough that not even air could pass between their pressed bodies, and kisses him, full on mouth, full with passion and thirst.

Right when Jongin’s knees are about to buckle, Adrian steers him to the bed and briefly breaks the kiss to lay Jongin down. Though Jongin could barely breathe, though his heart pounds nervously in his chest with fear of what might happen if they don’t stop now, his lips hunger for more of Adrian’s while his hands try to reach for Adrian’s neck.

The desperation remains, but the hastiness dissipates when Adrian pushes Jongin to lie down and peppers Jongin’s neck with inescapable kisses while his hand drifts to caress Jongin’s thigh over the thick fabric of his pants. Time slows down and Jongin starts to drink in every kiss, every inch of Adrian’s skin that is touching his own, savour it as his face and several other parts of his body burn with a form of desire he has never before had.

With his lips latched to Jongin’s collarbone, Adrian undoes Jongin’s shirt in a painfully slow pace that Jongin almost cries out for more contact between them. But then like hot molten lava, Adrian moves atop him, scorching Jongin’s skin with his lips, healing the burns with a swipe of his tongue. Jongin buries his hand in Adrian’s hair as Adrian nips on his collarbone, leaving a gentle bruise behind when he drags his lips to Jongin’s chest.

There is little that Jongin could do to not let out an obscene moan when Adrian’s hot, wet lips leave a trail of lascivious kisses along his chest and stomach, and he licks all the way from Jongin’s navel up to his midriff. Jongin clenches his eyes shut and bites his lip when Adrian hooks his fingers into the waistband of Jongin’s pants.

This is happening and neither of them is to stop it. Along with the fire, the fear spreads over his chest. He wants this, but giving himself to someone else is not something easy.

His eyes fling open to find Adrian’s lips resting upon his, gently licking the seam of Jongin’s lips. Their breaths mingle as Jongin clutch onto Adrian’s hair, running his fingers through the soft strands and holds onto Adrian’s thick, strong neck. “Adrian,” he exhales in a breathy moan when Adrian pulls back and straddles Jongin before taking his shirt off and discarding it to the floor.

Adrian pauses for a very short moment to take in the view presented before him and Jongin could not mistake the sincerity in Adrian’s desirous gaze. But at that moment, as Adrian’s eyes warily wander along Jongin’s body, Jongin realizes that Adrian, too, is hesitant. Swallowing hard, Adrian reaches for the bedside lamp and turns it off before his lips hastily find their way to Jongin’s mouth. Jongin softly arches into Adrian’s broad chest to let Adrian pull his shirt off his arms without breaking the languid, burning kiss. Jongin tastes every bit into the kiss, memorizing the heat of Adrian’s lips, etching it onto his own.

Adrian does not rush, every brush of his fingers is gentle, as though he means to carve his soul into Jongin’s skin. A shudder passes down Jongin’s body when Adrian slithers between his legs, his strong hand gently stroking a side of Jongin’s torso as the sounds of their billowing breaths, gasping moans and the humidity of their sweat fill the ambience of the room. This is so much better than what Jongin had in his expectations. And the heat of Adrian’s heavy, taut body does not disappoint. However, this sensational combination of need, heat, love, lust, regret, and caution is both Jongin’s torture and his salvation at the moment.

Though Jongin does not understand why Adrian is provoking him by being awfully slow at first, it registers to him a moment later, as he melts into Adrian’s gentle embrace, that Adrian is making him feel comfortable. For a beast as ruthless as Adrian can be, Jongin hasn’t expected this. Perhaps he does mean something to Adrian after all.

Adrian relieves from the kissing for a beat and when Jongin tugs at his neck for more, he clasps a hand to Jongin’s face and stares into his eyes, his thick chest heaving slightly in mild exhaustion. Time freezes then as Jongin finds himself blindly looking into Adrian’s gaze in the dark. And he completely surrenders when Adrian bows his head to press their lips together again.

He is grateful that Adrian had turned the lights off when he is stripped off his pants, because the heat of his cheeks suggests how flushed red he must be right now, so vulnerably defenceless. His back arches off the bed when Adrian slides an arm under to grapple his waist and hooks his other arm around Jongin’s thigh as he spends a good minute filling Jongin’s stomach with summery kisses. His fist catches Adrian’s hair as Adrian lowers his kisses, all the way to the base of hardened shaft. A rough moan escapes Jongin’s throbbing, swollen lips when Adrian moves to kiss the inside of his thigh, travelling inch by inch downwards.

“Adrian,” Jongin moans, breathlessly, and pulls Adrian up for a sloppy, needy kiss while his hands fumble to unfasten Adrian’s belt and the fly of his pants. He only halfway succeeds before Adrian climbs off the bed to shimmy out of his pants and crawl back between Jongin’s legs, yanking the sheets up to cover their lower bodies. If only Jongin could find the words and the strength to utter them, he would have thanked Adrian for being considerate and not finding him awkward. But he does it anyway by drawing Adrian into another heaty kiss.

Jongin drags his hands all over Adrian’s well-built body before settling them on his backs, pressing into his shoulder blades as Adrian lowers his body against Jongin’s and swallows Jongin’s sharp gasp at the shock of the friction between their aching members. A mix of excitement and dread swirls in Jongin’s belly when Adrian’s size registers to his brain. It is going to hurt, but this instant, Jongin could care less if it did. He wants Adrian to penetrate through his walls and demolish them, haul him to hell and heavens, make him scream his name like a prayer. And do it all over again.

Adrian runs his tongue along Jongin’s lower lip which he had caught between his teeth a moment ago, before disconnecting their lips. “I…” Adrian lets out laboriously, resting his forehead upon Jongin’s. “I don’t want to… hurt… you.”

All that Jongin could do to reassure him is raise his knees, lock his legs around Adrian’s waist under the sheets and yield into an exhausting kiss. Adrian spits onto his fingers and slides them past Jongin’s arse, and the second they touch the spot where Jongin has never thought he would let another man breach, he gives in. Adrian smashes their lips together again, kissing Jongin slowly and gently while his fingers work him through. It is uncomfortable, but not painful in any way. A moment later, as Adrian’s fingers brush all the right nerves, the discomfort begins to disappear, replaced slowly by a subtle sense of pleasure. Right when Jongin starts to stop responding to the kiss, moaning at the way Adrian’s fingers touch some spots, Adrian pulls them out and forces one last deep kiss before he latches his lips to the side of Jongin’s neck, grazing the skin there with his teeth. Jongin lets out a muffled groan as the head of Adrian’s erection nudges into his opening, stretching the rim of muscles. It burns fiercely, nothing like the discomfort his fingers had caused. Adrian spits onto his palm and strokes his length with the spit before brushing the tip against Jongin’s opening again.

Adrian drops his head onto the pillow beside Jongin’s as he slides in and Jongin cries out loud enough to reverberate through the hallways with tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. It feels like he is being ripped open and he desperately digs his fingernails into Adrian’s shoulder blades, dragging them down the back, leaving long lines of bleeding wounds, as Adrian lifts his head to kiss him and muffle his cries. His insides burn when Adrian pulls out before thrusting back in and with several more thrusts, Jongin’s cry of desperation easily turns into pleasurable moans, which Adrian’s mouth accepts welcomingly.

Breaking the kiss to allow Jongin to catch his breath, Adrian picks up the pace of his thrusts while tirelessly staring into Jongin’s eyes. Within seconds of driving into Jongin’s prostate, Adrian fists Jongin’s hard member and pumps it, plunging his tongue into Jongin’s mouth again. Overwhelmed by everything that is happening, Jongin lets himself moan Adrian’s name to no end as the bed creaks with every thrust. It hurts, it hurts so bad, but the pleasure is far more intense that Jongin finds himself wanting more, begging for more. Tears roll down the corners of his eyes as Adrian’s thrusts slow down.

He tilts his head to allow access to Adrian, who kisses the crook of his neck feverously, his thrusts coming to a stop. Jongin freezes with his body pressed tightly against Adrian’s sweat-bathed body when Adrian lets out a soft groan, panting against Jongin’s neck with an open mouth. What is happening… Jongin wonders, though his head is in a muddle of orgasm. Adrian has completely collapsed on him, but his body is shivering with tension and strain, as though he is in pain. His hand grips a side of Jongin’s waist as he breathes heavily, nuzzling into Jongin’s neck.

It strikes Jongin then what is going on and his heart feels as if it is about to shatter. Adrian is holding back. Cupping the sides of Adrian’s head, he lifts Adrian’s face to meet his eyes. “Adrian,” he whispers as another bead of tear trickles down his eye. “It’s okay… I’m… okay. Please,” he breathes against Adrian’s lips and presses a firm kiss to Adrian’s cheek when Adrian turns his face away, his eyes screwed shut with agony. “I want this. It’s okay.” He cards his fingers through Adrian’s hair, pushing it back.

Exhaling heavily, Adrian plants a soft kiss to both Jongin’s eyes and his forehead before dropping his face onto Jongin’s neck and groans painfully as he swells inside Jongin, stretching the walls wider. Jongin chokes on his sobs as he sinks his teeth into Adrian’s shoulder. Adrian fingers Jongin’s hair at the side of Jongin’s head and seeds despairing kisses along Jongin’s cheek before his lips find their way to Jongin’s.

Locking himself inside Jongin, Adrian moves his lips to Jongin’s ear and gently strokes Jongin’s hair. “Jongin,” he breathes out shakily and it is all that it takes for Jongin to reach his climax—with Adrian’s lips against his skin, his cock buried and knotted deep inside him, his arms steady around Jongin’s trembling body.

When Adrian straightens up, he gathers Jongin in his arms, pulling him up to sit on his lap. Jongin lets out a struggled whimper with Adrian drilling deeper into him and wraps his arms around Adrian’s neck as Adrian looks up to claim Jongin’s lips. Jongin slides his hands down Adrian’s chest and slowly sways his hips to rock against Adrian and in a heartbeat, Adrian bursts inside him, filling Jongin with his hot come that sears through the tender, sore insides. Jongin parts his lips to pant into Adrian’s mouth, his mind swimming in exhaustion and delirium.

Enveloping Jongin’s body protectively in his arms, Adrian lays him back on the bed before he collapses limply onto Jongin.

 

* * *

 

The sun would rise soon and Jongin wishes it never will. He wants this very moment to last. The lamp sheds a beautiful golden shade over Adrian’s body, complimenting every inch of his thick muscles. Speaking of which, Jongin has spent sleepless hours admiring Adrian’s body in the light and relishing the pain in the nether regions of his body. He would be lying if he said he had seen this coming. He would probably be walking funny in the morning, but he hasn’t dared to move, mostly because he does not want to wake Adrian up.

He lifts a finger to trace the scar near the mandala tattoo on Adrian’s chest before he looks to another scar along his shoulder. Jongin leans forward to brush his lips on the scar and immediately regrets it when Adrian shifts, drawing in a sharp breath. Then with a grunt, he mumbles in his sleep, letting out, “Jongin,” with his eyebrows unconsciously drawn together in a frown. Jongin props himself up on his elbow and splays his fingers over Adrian’s abs, blinking confusedly.

Then clenching his eyes in discomfort, Adrian shifts again before he cracks his eyes open. Jongin swallows and withdraws his hand as Adrian’s perplexed gaze finds him. Wiping a side of his face, Adrian pushes himself upright and stares at Jongin for a moment with something like dejection in his eyes. Jongin licks his lips, trying to smile as he pulls the sheets up to his chest.

He almost reaches out for Adrian’s hand, but stops short when Adrian moves to the edge of the bed and picks up his pants from the floor. Pulling them on, he gets off the bed before searching the floor for his shirt. Jongin gnaws on his lower lip, sitting up to lean against the headboard, hugging the sheets to his chest.

“Are… are you… leaving?” Jongin asks in a whisper, his heart sinking to his stomach.

Adrian does not answer as he buttons up his shirt with his back turned to Jongin before he strides to the door.

“Adrian?” Jongin calls with worry and Adrian pauses by the door. Then hanging his head, Adrian disappears through the door with his fists clenched at his sides.

Jongin brings his knees to his chest, holding the bunched sheet to his lips with his eyes stinging with hot tears.


	24. Chapter 24

No matter how many times he stirs, flips, tosses, and turns on the bed, sleep remains way out of his reach. There is little that Kai could do to keep these garish thoughts at bay as he restlessly turns on his side. He has been racking his brain to find the solution to this problem and none of the ideas he could come up with would be effective if Adrian chooses to remain headstrong about his wayward hatred for Kai now.

He has spent all week trying to think of a way to win Adrian’s trust back, but to no avail. He had acquiesced Sehun’s decision to stay with his brother and it is a fact that they haven’t actually lived as a real married couple. Then why does his heart pine for Sehun’s presence, his warmth. Kai misses teasing him, he misses seeing Sehun blush and flustered. As the week passes by, he grows more impatient and less eager to fight the urge to drive back to Itcara and demand Sehun to come home with him.

Well, why does he even want Sehun to come home with him now that the accord between Pantherinaes and Lycans can’t happen? Isn’t that why he married Sehun in the first place? Only for the sake of creating peace between the two factions of Shapeshifters? So, why would it matter to him if Sehun left? Hadn’t he promised Sehun to let him go and that they would part ways when everything ends? Sehun has held up his end of the bargain and Kai is trying hard to keep to his word. Does Sehun even feel a drop of anything for him? Kai heavily doubts it because of he did, he wouldn’t have chosen to just renounce Kai. Perhaps he has no other option. It is only fair that he loves his brother more than just some guy who forced him into a marriage.

Kai could try, but he can never actually win Sehun’s unwavering love.

God, is that what he wants? To win Sehun’s love? Kai sits up and turns the bedside lamp on before planting his head in his hands. As much as he would like to deny it, he is starting to fall for Sehun and he has heard people say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. He has never even considered it to be true.

The thing is, there are other pressing issues he should pay his attention to. Like figuring out who is behind all these attacks in Harvington and who did Adrian actually meet in the Inclecebra Nightclub that had outed the truth. But all that he could think about is seeing Sehun again and how Sehun is doing and if he thinks about Kai any minute of the day.

He isn’t supposed to feel this way. It would just complicate things on a whole new level. Staring down to his hand, he swipes his thumb over his wedding ring. An insignificant piece of junk, he thinks. He is Sehun’s husband on paper and now, even that no longer matters.

He climbs out of his bed, deciding that he cannot mope like this all night long. He could go for a jog to wear himself out so that he would be able to sleep, but when he reaches the staircase, he gazes down the hallway and bites his lip. Jongin has been holed up in his room ever since Kai had come home earlier this week and whenever they bumped into each other in the kitchen or the pool room, Jongin barely looked up at him. Kai has been so caught up with his own miseries that he forgot to worry about his brother’s, whatever they may be about.

He knocks on Jongin’s room’s door, hoping that his brother isn’t asleep. A moment later, Jongin opens the door, clad in his oversized pyjamas with a pair of puffy, tired eyes and chapped, dry lips. He is in worse shape than Kai had imagined.

“Can I come in?” Kai asks and though Jongin hesitates for a second, he leaves the door open, heading back to his bed. Kai shuts the door behind him, surveying the boxes of tissues lying around the room. “Are you not feeling well?”

“I’m fine,” Jongin mutters in a thick voice, tucking himself under the duvet.

Kai licks his lips. “You certainly don’t seem fine.”

“And you care, why?” he pins Kai with an exhausted scowl.

“That is a knife to the heart,” Kai scoffs, taking his seat on the edge of Jongin’s bed. “Do I need a reason to care about my brother?”

Jongin looks like a kicked pup as he lowers his gaze. “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t have the energy.”

“Did something happen or… are you just upset about Adrian?”

Jongin’s eyes flick up. “You know about me and Adrian?”

Kai arches a surprised and curious brow. “Well, I do now? There’s a _you and Adrian_?” he shifts on the bed to sit more comfortably to face his brother.

Jongin gulps with his eyes welled up with tears.

“Jongin?” Kai whispers, his heart hammering against his chest. “What… are you not telling me?” Jongin continues to remain mum, sniffling and wiping the tears off his cheeks. Kai’s guts clench as blood pounds in his ears. “No, no, no. What the hell happened?!” he grabs Jongin by the shoulders and forces Jongin to meet his eyes. “Jongin!”

“Let go, Kai,” Jongin exhales defeatedly, but Kai does not let go of his shoulders, he collapses forward and breaks into an aggressive sob into Kai’s chest. Utterly paralyzed by the sudden attack, Kai freezes for a minute as Jongin weeps against his chest, his hot tears seeping through Kai’s t-shirt. What is happening…?

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kai wraps his arms around his brother and lets him cry his heart out before he could ask the questions. Or maybe he shouldn’t. Honestly, Kai has never seen Jongin like this before, so he truly is lost.

“Why… does it hurt so much?” Jongin gasps, fisting Kai’s t-shirt as he cries harder.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kai says, stroking his brother’s hair at the back of his head. “Everything will be all right.”

“It won’t, it won’t,” Jongin chants repeatedly and Kai feels his own tears prickling his eyes. His arms tighten around Jongin to stop him from trembling so hard and eventually, Jongin’s sobbing comes to an end, but he does not lift his head from Kai’s chest. He lets himself rest against Kai’s heaving chest for a moment before drawing back to lean against the headboard.

“You all right?” Kai inquires, curling his hand around Jongin’s.

Shaking his head, Jongin screws his eyes shut. “I’m sorry about you and Sehun,” he whispers while his clammy fingers intertwine with Kai’s.

“I don’t want to talk about me and Sehun. I want to talk about why you’re upset about Adrian, Jongin. What is going on? Please, tell me or I’ll lose my mind with another unresolved matter in my head.” He cups a side of Jongin’s face and wipes the tear that rolls down his cheek. “Please, Jongin. Or I’ll imagine the worst.”

“It _is_ the worst,” Jongin lets out, leaning into Kai’s touch.

“What did he do?” Kai demands through his teeth. “Jongin.”

“Please, Kai. I don’t wish to discuss it. I… cannot,” Jongin begs in the smallest voice.

“Did he… hurt you?”

Jongin shakes his head. “No.”

Kai stares at his brother for a length before it finally hits him. The anger floods through his veins and pounds in his head. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” he yaps, causing Jongin to burst into another silent sob. “God, Jongin, when did this happen?! Did he force you?!”

“No, no!” Jongin cries. “He didn’t, I swear!”

Kai pants, trying to calm his nerves. “The guy’s on a warpath, Jongin. You should have told me. Fuck, it didn’t cross my mind that he would hurt you, too. Bloody—”

“Please,” Jongin whimpers, holding onto Kai’s hand. “Don’t make things worse. Nothing happened, Kai. He didn’t hurt me. He didn’t force me. I promise. Don’t aggravate the situation, it is bad as it is. I don’t want to be another cause of chaos between you and Sehun. Please, I beg of you, don’t pick another fight with Adrian.”

Kai sucks in a few breathes, gritting his teeth. “Why did you… Jongin?” he asks, frowning heavily. “You knew what you were getting yourself into, so why?”

His brother falls silent, staring at his palms on his lap.

“Jongin,” Kai calls under his breath, inching closer. “How long has this been going on?”

“Since the day I showed up at the inn,” Jongin mutters, his lips trembling endlessly.

Then that means Adrian was not playing with Jongin in the beginning? What about now? What has happened that Jongin is in such a fragile state? He wants to push for more details, but Jongin looks like he might pass out from the fatigue of sobbing.

Kai swallows and wipes his face with his hand. “Did-did… uh… do you… love him?” he decides to ask finally.

Jongin keeps his gaze low, letting his tears fall onto his palms. “Does it matter?”

“He fucking left you, didn’t he?” Kai breathes out, pulling one of Jongin’s hands to his own lap. He gets his answer from Jongin’s silence. “Jongin, he is clouded by his thirst to settle the score between us. He’s got his family members hurt and now he’s hurting us to get square. But do you believe that he… whatever that he feels for you is genuine and sincere?”

After a moment of hesitation, Jongin nods shakily. “He is pushing me away to hurt me. I can see that, Kai.”

Kai draws in a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. He’s hurting everyone to hurt me.”

Jongin perks up suddenly and sniffles. “I won’t let him hurt you by hurting me. He’ll need to try harder than that.”

Though Kai manages a smile, his heart still aches to think of the pain and betrayal Jongin suffers. “And he will. Look, I will fix this. I will beg on my knees for his forgiveness if I have to.”

Jongin scowls. “No,” he spits. “You won’t do that. Not even if it kills me, you understand? Adrian is a dick if he’s going to use and toss me away for his own vindictive purposes and he needs to grow the fuck up. But you will _not_ kneel before him for anybody’s sake, especially not for mine just because I was too blinded by my feelings to see his real motives, okay?”

Kai could not help a smirk as he reaches to wipe another tear from Jongin’s cheek. “That’s the first time I hear you curse like that.”

Jongin’s cheeks redden. “It’s better this way,” he breathes out, sliding to the other side of the bed when Kai moves to lie beside him. “It never would have worked out between us, anyway.”

“Adrian would be the best guy for you, Jongin,” Kai says, pulling the duvet over them. “Of course, if he weren’t out to get me. But that’s also my fault. Listen, if he really has a conscience, he would do the right thing. And if he doesn’t, well, maybe you’re better off without him, anyway.”

Jongin settles his head on the pillow next to Kai. “I was… thinking about taking a break from all of this. From Harvington. From everything.”

“What do you in mind?”

“I want to leave this place. For a while, at least.”

Kai sighs, his chest tightening, but he smiles. “That’s a good idea.” The thought of another person abandoning him hurts, but Jongin could use some time away from this drama. “Do you… have a place in mind?”

“I was thinking of staying with Mom for a while.”

Kai tucks a lock of Jongin’s hair behind his hair. “Yeah? I think you’ll have a good time there. When do you plan to leave?”

Jongin smiles through his tears. “I don’t want to leave you alone for Christmas.”

“Well, what’s another year of lonely Christmas,” Kai scoffs.

“No, I want to spend Christmas with you.”

“Do we still have that tacky tree topper?”

Jongin lets out a tired chuckle. “Do you remember when Grandfather used to lift you up on his shoulders so that you could put it on the tree? You were so stubborn and stingy, you never let me do it even once.”

“Well, you were shorter than me.”

“You’d cry every time Grandfather asks you to let me put the star on the tree and I’d give in.”

“Okay, Jongin. I’ll let you do it this year, happy?”

“Oh, Kai, that’s so generous of you,” Jongin chimes in a mocking whisper. “Do you… do you miss him?”

“There are so many _hims_ I miss, Jongin. Which one are you referring to?”

“Grandpa.”

Kai looks away for a moment before propping himself up on his elbow. “Yes, of course. I miss the days he was just… our grandfather, you know? I miss the days that only that mattered. He was there for us, he loved us. He was just… someone I… hated loving.”

Jongin nods sleepily. “What other _hims_ do you miss?”

“Well, there’s my first crush in high school. Cute, ginger, I loved the freckles and when he blushes. He was a senior and a jock, also completely human. I didn’t stand a chance. But he did kiss me at a party when we were playing Seven Minutes In Heaven. And there’s my next-door neighbour at the apartment. He’s a nice old man.”

“What’s with you and older guys?”

“God! It’s not like that. He’s a really nice fellow. Mom likes him, too. Though, he does have this hot son that visits him sometimes.”

“Oh, my God. Did you—”

“Nah. He’s into chicks. And is married. Then there’s Max.”

“Who’s Max?”

“He’s another neighbour’s Labrador. I think I miss him the most. I also miss our doorman.”

“Aston,” Jongin says.

“Huh. You remember.”

“He’s a Pantherinae.”

“Yep.”

They stay silent for a moment, but by the looks of it, Jongin might fall asleep any moment now. “What about… Dad?” Jongin whispers after a minute and Kai’s heart sinks. “Do you ever… miss him?”

“Do you?” he asks, frowning.

Jongin heaves a shaky sigh. “I don’t really know him enough to say that I do… But I don’t blame you, Kai. For anything.”

“I know,” he drops his gaze. “Another secret that could ruin me,” he sighs, rubbing his forehead.

“Only if you keep it a secret. Kai, we’ve all made mistakes. We can’t hold onto them forever. There is a statute of limitations on these things.”

“I know Mother still hates me a little for what I did.”

“She doesn’t hate you.”

“She refused to acknowledge that I got married, Jongin. She didn’t want to attend her own father’s funeral. She pretty much hates us all. Not you, though. Never you. In her eyes, you’re the only untainted thing remaining in this family of lies and secrets and murders.”

Jongin smiles miserably. “Not so untainted anymore,” he murmurs, burying a side of his face into the pillow. “Besides, she did choose to leave me behind to keep her word.”

“Trust me, I think she left you here because you were her favourite. She took me with her so that she could punish me for being like our father and her father. And she did. For years. She isolated me from my family, she… she hardly spoke with me, she let me get ruined. I tried to get her attention, to get her affection, I drank, I did drugs, I fooled around with the men she brought home… all when I was still… very young. I… sometimes I think I snapped that day because she had broken something within me. Then one day, I… I realized that maybe a part of me _is_ my Dad and I wanted to destroy that part.”

Jongin lifts a hand to touch Kai’s arm. “We all have our demons.”

“Yeah… Mine is just… unforgivable.”

“Kai, you were completely out of control when you did it. You have to stop blaming yourself for it.”

Kai presses his lips into a thin smile. “Now, you see why I empathize with Adrian.”

Jongin’s eyebrows pull into a frown. “Adrian’s different.”

“We’re not much different, Jongin. Except that I have more blood in my hands than him. God, I can only imagine what Sehun would think of me if he finds out.”

“Speaking of which… do you miss _him_?”

Kai snorts, lying back down. “Have you ever thought about how much better our lives would be if we weren’t Shapeshifters and weren’t born into this one particular family? Like Chanyeol and Baekhyun. What have they got to worry about, right?”

“Oh, when I was at Baekhyun’s place, his fathers were talking about their wedding.”

“They’re a little too old to have a wedding now, aren’t they?”

“Stop joking. I’m talking about Chanyeol and Baekhyun. Their wedding.”

“Whoa. Do we get to hear wedding bells soon?”

“I hope so. It’ll be nice to have something happy happen around here for once. Apparently, both Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s parents are worried that they might go around leaving babies all over the town at this rate.”

Kai breathes out a laugh. “I can understand their concern.”

“Looks like everyone’s getting their happy ending.”

“Except us,” Kai sighs. “Come here,” he grapples an arm around Jongin and scoops him close. “Don’t worry. Maybe you’ll meet someone hotter than Adrian in the city and trust me, the place is full of them. It’ll be a nice for a change.”

“What about you? Please, don’t give up on Sehun.”

“I’m not going to.”

“And don’t tell him about your hot ginger crush in high school. He will make you pay for it.”

Kai laughs, ruffling Jongin’s hair. “I bet he will and I look forward to it. So… should I go get a Christmas tree tomorrow?”

“Let’s do that.”

 

* * *

 

The Frost River never stops flowing during wintertime, even as a small stream. Adrian tosses a pebble, which he had found buried in the snow, into the stream, his heart pounding to the current of the river.

“Do you remember when we used to sneak out here for a bath?” Lara’s voice rings in his ears, but he does not bother to turn around to entertain her as he hurls another pebble into the water. “I talked to my pack and as you asked, we won’t attack any Pantherinae in Harvington anymore,” she says, taking her seat beside Adrian on the rocks by shore of the river. “Especially not the docile one in Marion Manor,” she pauses as Adrian pokes around the snow for another pebble. “If you don’t mind me asking, why the… concern for that specific Pantherinae?”

“I do mind, Lara,” Adrian mutters, tossing the pebble into the river.

Lara stays silent for a moment. “Have you thought about my suggestion?”

“About?” he asks nonchalantly, staring at the river.

“About… merging the packs together.”

Drawing in a sharp breath, Adrian faces her. “I can’t, Lara.”

Lara’s thick eyebrows knit into a frown. “What? Why… not? What changed?” she extends a hand to rest it on Adrian’s knee. “Ian, you shouldn’t back out now. Think like a leader.”

“I am,” Adrian spits. “And that’s why I can’t join with your pack. My pack… most of us came together after being orphaned and abandoned. It’s a family. Not a weapon of vengeance.”

“Oh, for god’s sake, it is so like you to chicken out after making a promise,” she shoots up to her feet.

“I _didn’t_ make you promise,” Adrian sighs. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“You’ve been acting strange for the past two weeks. What happened?” she demands, crossing her arms over her chest. When Adrian pins her with a glare without replying, she groans out loud. “For fuck’s sake, spit it out! You screwed that Pantherinae, didn’t you?! So, you’re suddenly all sappy and sentimental?!”

Adrian cocks an eyebrow. “What are you getting all worked up for? Did you really think we’ll get back together? We’re a closed chapter, Lara.”

“Oh, please. I don’t want to get back with you. I am the one doing you a favour here, remember?!”

Adrian lets out a sigh, shaking his head. “Look, Lara. _I_ wanted to make Kai pay. _I_ didn’t ask you to do me any favour. But if you lay a finger on Jongin, I can promise you that you will make me your enemy.”

Lara’s red lips stretch into a strained smirk. “You’re already making a lot of enemies around here, Adrian. You might have a large pack, but don’t forget, you can always be dethroned and overthrown. Especially now that you have weaknesses. Your brother… and now… your sweet little defenceless booty call. Will you be able to forgive yourself if he actually gets hurt?”

Adrian’s hand flies up to clutch Lara’s neck and he yanks her close. “I will destroy you and your entire pack, Lara. And you know very well that I won’t need any help doing that,” he hisses through his grit teeth and shoves Lara back.

Furious tears glisten in Lara’s eyes before she spins around and stomps away, leaving Adrian to sink back onto the rocks and drops his face in his hands.


	25. Chapter 25

“A little eggnog to spark the Christmas spirit?” Thea chimes as she hands Sehun a mug before taking her seat on the floor beside him.

Sehun continues to idly stare into the flickering flames in the fireplace, cherishing the warmth wrapping around him like limbs. Soon, the fire would turn into dying embers, leaving nothing but ash behind. Sehun isn’t sure he can ever spark the Christmas spirit which had died the last time he had celebrated it together with his family. “No… tree?” he asks Thea in a murmur, realizing they still haven’t put a tree up so close to Christmas.

Thea remains mum, pressing her lips into a thin smile.

“I remember when we used to decorate the Christmas tree together,” Sehun mutters, sliding his index finger along the edge of the mug. “Mother would be putting up mistletoes, under which father would kiss her, and Adrian and I would cringe,” he lets out a soft chuckle at the fond memory. “When Adrian was in college, I’d just wait for him to come home for the holidays, so that we could run through the forest together day and night. I’d miss him a lot. It was a very small family, ours, but we were happy and I thought we had each other until the end of time. A part of me wishes I could just go back in time and freeze the moment where all of us were happy and young and without conflicts.”

“And the other part of you?” Thea inquires and Sehun raises his head to meet her eyes.

“Wishes that we could all just move past all the horrible things that have happened and start a new, fresh life.”

Letting out a sigh, Thea reaches out to Sehun’s hand and smiles. “Sehun, you’ve been here for weeks and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone more miserable during Christmastime than you. If you don’t wish to stay here, you really shouldn’t have to.”

“I want to stay, Thea,” he breathes out. “I want Adrian in my life, but I want him as the brother I remember. Not as this… moody, angry Alpha. He hasn’t said a word to me in weeks,” he rasps with tears knifing his eyes. “I just… want him to forgive me and _talk_ to me again. He keeps snubbing me and it just hurts so much.”

Thea nods her head, licking her lips. “Should I talk to him?”

“I would appreciate it, but no. I want my brother back, Thea. It’s like I lost him once and I got him back and I’ve lost him again. Because of one stupid mistake.”

“What about… Kai? Do you have absolutely no plans of getting back with him?”

Sehun sucks in a shaky breath, blinking the tears away. “I haven’t really thought about it,” he lies. For the past four weeks, all that he could think about is Kai whenever he isn’t crying about Adrian ignoring him or wondering how Jongin is doing. What is Kai up to, where is he right now, is he even thinking about Sehun? He hadn’t forced Sehun to go with him, but a small part of Sehun wishes that he had.

“This is upsetting,” Thea sighs. “Adrian is just making everyone miserable, including himself. And you’re right. He has been nothing but moody and angry and distant lately. And he spends all his time running in the woods and working until he wears out completely. He’s being reckless, too, picking up arguments with packs in Harvington. This isn’t like him. And I honestly don’t know how to help him right now. I’ve seen him angry, but this is… something else.”

“He isn’t letting anyone in,” Sehun utters under his breath, pulling his knees up to his chest. “If I’m being honest, I’m… terrified of him now. Of what he might do. I’ve never seen him like this.”

They are interrupted when the door springs open, blowing a bellowing gust of snow in before Adrian enters with either Sky or Finn. Upon hearing the hearty laughter and recognizing the easy gaze, Sehun decides it is Sky, thankfully. It has been over four weeks since he had last seen Sky or Finn or pretty much just anyone, save Adrian, Thea, and Kris.

“Let me go get the key,” Adrian says to Sky before bolting upstairs.

“Thea!” Sky chirps when he spots them in the living room, warming up by the fire, and walks over to join them. “Sehun,” he says, bowing his head at him with a gentle smile, which Sehun finds to be ridiculously comforting at the moment. “Is that eggnog?!” he rasps and snatches the mug from Sehun’s hand before drinking straight from it. “Sorry, did I interrupt something?”

Thea smiles back, shrugging. “Not really. Sehun here was just expressing his disappointment about not having a Christmas tree.”

“Oh, shucks. Really?” Sky looks to Sehun, who lowers his gaze, sucking on his lip. “I don’t think Adrian’s ever had a tree here, has he? He’s the Scrooge,” he scoffs and Sehun could not help the smile that creeps onto his face. “Ah, Adrian!” he squawks, handing Sehun the mug back. “Why isn’t there a Christmas tree, mate?”

Adrian freezes at the hallway and glances to Sehun with a confused look. “Uh… I don’t have one,” he mutters, fiddling with the keys in his hands.

“Well, get one, then,” Sky snorts. “Sehun, would you like a big or a small one?”

Sehun almost chokes on his breath as he stammers, looking up at Sky. “Uh… I… I wasn’t—”

“You should come pick one yourself,” he says and Sehun looks to Adrian nervously. “I’ll chop it down for you. And maybe, we could go downtown, haul some ornaments?”

“Go, Sehun. You could really use some fresh air… and some fresh company,” Thea insists, nudging her elbow into Sehun’s arm.

“Is that okay, Adrian?” Sky asks, facing his Alpha.

Adrian shrugs. “I don’t mind,” he mutters and tosses Sky the keys before storming out of the cabin.

Sky is grinning to himself, scratching the back of his neck when Sehun looks back to him.

Sehun rises to his feet and heaves a sigh. “I don’t really have the mood to go out, Sky.”

“And that is precisely why you need it more. Let’s go to the town first tomorrow? Should… um, I pick you up, say, at noon?”

Sehun swallows, his toes curling with agitation. “Okay.”

“Great,” Sky flips the keys in his hand and salutes Sehun goodbye with two fingers before he walks out of the inn. When Sehun’s gaze darts to Thea, he finds her smirking mischievously.

“What?”

Thea shakes her head. “Nothing.”

“I’m only trying to be polite.”

That makes her guffaw. “Oh, please, Sehun. No one wants to be _just_ polite to the Hazeldine twins.”

“Well, Sky’s nice to me. That is all.”

Thea pushes herself up, still chortling amusedly. “Yes, I’m sure, that is _all_ ,” she scoffs and tears the mug away from Sehun’s hand before leaving Sehun alone to stare into the fire again.

 

* * *

 

“Knock it off, Kai!” Jongin hisses when Kai displaces the ornament on the tree again.

“I don’t like the angels—they’re too pink,” Kai grumbles, hanging another snowflake on the branch.

“So?” Jongin shoves his brother away to hang the ornament back on the tree. “You’re _such_ a man.”

“It’s not because I’m a man, okay. It’s because I simply don’t like the colour. It has nothing to do with my gender.”

“Well, I like it,” he wrenches the jingle ball out of Kai’s hand.

“I forgot how frustrating this can be,” Kai mumbles under his breath, moving to other side of the tree. He gazes up the tree and lets out a sigh. “Maybe I should have thought twice before getting a tree this big.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you rarely think things through before doing anything,” Jongin scoffs.

“Ha-ha, you’re very funny.” Kai kicks a box of ornaments out of his way to climb up the ladder and add another ornament to the tree, that stands towering, as tall as an entire flight of stairs. Christmas couldn’t have come at a better time. It has kept both Kai and Jongin busy for the past month. Though it’s just him and Jongin in the manor, apart from the housekeepers that show up from time to time, going on Christmas shopping and decorating the manor bring back a lot pleasant memories, which Kai hasn’t even dreamt of revisiting. There hasn’t been an attack in Harvington lately either. Everything is finally allayed and he can only hope that time has also placated Adrian.

Kai glances to Jongin, who has paused suddenly, rubbing his temples as though to relief pain. He supposes it should be tiring for him, having spent half a day just adorning the tree without a single break. “Jongin?” Kai calls, descending down the ladder. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Jongin says, raising his head to smile at him. He picks out another ornament from the boxes and hangs it on the tip of a branch.

“Maybe you should go get something to eat. You don’t look so good,” Kai suggests, pulling the ornament away from his ashen brother’s hand.

“No, I’m—” he is cut off by the door that bangs open and Chanyeol strides in with his hands stuck in the pockets of his coat and eyes swollen red.

Chanyeol shuts the door and freezes, gawking at the tree. “Wow,” he says in a thick voice. “That is a big arse tree.”

Kai groans, rolling his eyes. “I thought it’d be nice, okay? What are you doing here, anyway? And why do you look like crap?”

Chanyeol sniffles and looks away. Then swallowing and licking his lips, he says, “Baekhyun doesn’t want to marry me.”

Kai and Jongin exchange a glance before they clear their throat in unison. “What… happened?” Kai inquiries, faking a cough.

Shrugging, Chanyeol shakes his head. “He said no… that… he isn’t ready to settle down… I… I don’t really want to talk about it.”

Kai exhales a sigh and grabs a jingle ball before tossing it over to Chanyeol, who catches it effortlessly. “Join the club of the broken-hearted.”

A corner of Chanyeol’s lips quirk up into half a smile and he pulls his coat off before joining them to decorate the tree. Jongin pats and strokes Chanyeol’s back, offering a comforting smile.

“You know what we should do? Strippers,” Kai says, finding more branches to decorate.

“I’m honoured, Kai, but I don’t strip or do my sexy dance for family members,” Chanyeol says, handing Jongin one of the ornaments.

Kai scowls in his way. “No, I mean, just go to a strip club and get wasted and just forget about our precious heartbreakers for a moment.”

“Or have a hot ménage à trois right here,” Chanyeol mumbles, straightening an ornament on the tree. “I’m not sure I find you that attractive, no offence, Kai, but Jongin here, though. Besides, twins could be my fetish.”

“Don’t make me regret letting you in, Chanyeol,” Kai spits in his way.

“Oh, you definitely won’t regret letting me in, baby.”

“And yet, you wonder why Baekhyun refused to marry you,” Kai snorts and hisses when Chanyeol hurls a snowflake at his head.

“Hey, you’re the married man among us three. Tell us about the married life. Must be fun, right?”

“Oh, definitely. That’s why I’m here with you idiot at this hour and not copulating with my better half.”

Chanyeol grimaces. “So much sass for someone who just used the word ‘ _copulating_ ’,” he says and Jongin lets out a chuckle. “But for real, though… Have you popped Sehun’s cherry?”

“Chanyeol, get out.”

“Okay, okay. No more talking about your sex life. Non-existent sex life. Oh, sorry, you’re _both_ not getting any at the moment, are you?”

“Where’s the star?” Jongin asks, diverting the attention.

When Kai finds it, he hands it over to his brother along with a smile. “It’s finally your turn.”

Jongin mirrors his smile tiredly and Kai notices how pale he has gotten.

“Ooh, star!” Chanyeol gasps and snatches the glimmering golden star from Jongin’s hand. Jongin frowns at his suddenly empty hand and then at Chanyeol.

Kai slaps the back of Chanyeol’s head and grabs the star back before handing it to Jongin again. “Jongin’s star,” he spits at his tall cousin. “Well, let’s plug it in,” Kai sighs, bending over to turn the switch of the twinkling lights on as Jongin climbs up to the top of the ladder to place the star in its position.

“Okay,” Chanyeol chimes, grabbing onto Kai’s hips and playfully thrusts his crotch against Kai’s butt before Kai straightens up with a jolt. Chanyeol breaks into a laugh, though it sounds rough and exhausted.

“You’ll never repent.”

“Let’s go get drunk tonight, like you said.”

Kai does not argue with him on that. “What about you, Jongin? You in? It could be…” he trails off when he looks up to find Jongin clutching onto the branches, gasping for air and sweating bullets. “Jongin…?”

His heart almost leaps out of his chest when Jongin lets go of the tree and falls back from the ladder. “Jongin!” Chanyeol cries and vaults forward, just in time to catch Jongin, who drops completely unconscious right in his arms. “Jesus—” he grunts, looking to Kai with horror.

“Jongin?” Kai pants, palming his brother’s sweat-covered forehead. “I’ll have the doctor over. Can you get him into bed?”

Chanyeol nods hastily and hurries upstairs with Jongin secured in his arms.


	26. Chapter 26

He rouses to the cold, damp towel pressed to his burning forehead with a fire ardent in the pit of his belly. “Hey,” he hears a low whisper as he tries to force his eyes open.

Kai removes the towel from his forehead, smiling comfortingly. Jongin lets out a throaty breath and shifts his gaze to the other man in the room, seated by the side of his bed. “Dr Heath?” Jongin rasps, trying to push himself upright, but freezes when Kai clasps his shoulder, pressing him back to the mattress.

“No, don’t get up.”

“It’s fine, Kai,” Dr Heath says with a familiar smile. “He can get up. He should, though your head must feel a little heavy for the time being.”

“It does,” Jongin mutters and lets out a small chuckle. “What happened?”

“You passed out,” Kai says, scowling faintly. “You should have said something if you weren’t feeling well. I told you to eat something.”

Jongin glances to the doctor, whose smile slips from his face as he lowers his head. “Kai, I would like to have a word with your brother. Do you mind?” the doctor implores, but Kai stares at him plainly.

“Why? He’s all right, isn’t he?”

“Oh, yes, yes. There is nothing wrong with him. He passed out due to fatigue. But I’d like to discuss something private with him.”

Kai exchanges a glance with Jongin before leaving the room with a dejected sigh.

“Is something… wrong, Doctor?” Jongin asks in the tiniest voice, pushing himself up to lean against the headboard.

Dr Heath hesitates for a length before smiling up at Jongin. “How do you feel now?”

Jongin assesses his health and decides that he does not feel any better than he has been feeling for the past three days. “Actually, not that good,” he sighs. “I feel… sick. But I’m _not_ sick… There’s this itch in my chest wanting me to throw up every time I go near food, especially fish. But the thought of meat seems nice. It feels odd. _I_ feel odd. And today was the worst. I can’t believe I… fainted. What is it, Doctor? Am I… sick?”

“Hardly,” the doctor says, patting on Jongin’s shoulder. “Anything else? Have you noticed anything different going on with your body?”

Jongin contemplates the question for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t think so. I suppose… my head feels heavy because I haven’t been eating well?”

“That could partly be the reason, yes,” he says, settling his stethoscope in his briefcase. “I don’t mean to sound prude, Jongin, but I’ve been your family’s doctor _and_ friend for so many years. I must ask this, so pardon me.” Jongin blinks at the man in confusion. “Have you… had any intimacy with a man lately?”

Jongin’s heart stops beating for a moment before its pace skyrockets. “I-I… uh—”

“It’s all right, Jongin. You can tell me.”

He bites his lip, clenching his hands into fists under the sheets. “Yes,” he lets out in a whisper. The doctor nods his head considerately, rubbing his bearded chin. “Why… are you asking that, Doctor?”

“We’ll need to run some tests at the hospital, I hope you’ll find some time to make an appointment with me to do so. But… son,” he draws a deep breath, removing his glasses. “I believe you’re… pregnant. I’m almost certain that you are. But it would still be better to run some tests, just to be sure.”

“Wh-what?” Jongin exhales, blood thundering in his ears as his heart races fast enough to burst. “What?”

The doctor casts his gaze low. “You’ve all the symptoms and your pulse rate confirms it.”

“No, no, no,” he gasps, shoving the sheets away. “That is not… possible, Doctor Heath. You said it yourself, remember? I’m infertile!”

The doctor bows his head. “I know. And technically speaking, you don’t have the potential and competence to conceive. Which is why, I regret to tell you that you… cannot carry the child. Your body does not have the capacity.”

It feels as though all air is knocked out of his lungs as he drops his head back against the headboard and starts to pant with his eyes stinging with fresh, hot tears. His throat is tight with sorrow, his heart sinking in agony. “No… that… can’t be true.”

“Jongin,” the doctor sighs. “I’m so sorry, son.”

Jongin swallows the sob and faces the doctor again. “I can’t… keep the baby?”

“I’m afraid not,” he says, frowning apologetically. “The sooner we abort the child, the better for your health. Otherwise, your body will start to worsen, the baby will start feeding off your health. And… I’m assuming this is a Pantherinae’s?”

It almost hurts Jongin to shake his head and Dr Heath raises a curious eyebrow. “A high echelon Lycan,” he says in a low murmur, shedding a tear.

The doctor’s jaw falls slacking and he rubs his temples nervously. “In that case, I would strongly advise you to have an abortion in double quick time, Jongin. Your body isn’t built to carry even a common Pantherinae’s child, let alone an entirely distinct Shapeshifter’s.”

Jongin drops his eyes to his pale palms, trying to bite back on a sob, but the tears continue to threaten his eyes. Why can he never catch a break? Why does it have to be him? What he has he done so wrong to be punished continuously?

“Is there… no way for me to keep this child?” he whispers shakily without looking up at the doctor.

After a moment of silence, the doctor says, “Jongin, there might be a chance for you to keep the child. But there’s just way too many risks involved and it will be a tiring process to go through. Your body _cannot_ hold a child. It can easily… end in a miscarriage or your own life will be at risk as the child grows inside you. And there’s a big chance the child might be… physically impaired when born.”

“But these are just hypothetical, right? It might not happen,” Jongin pleads desperately with tears blurring his vision. “You were wrong about me being infertile.”

“Jongin,” he sighs heavily, clasping a hand to Jongin’s knee. “Why would you want to keep this child when it will cause you nothing but pain?”

Jongin could not answer the doctor’s question. A fierce sob bubbles up in his chest and he struggles to refrain himself from breaking into tears. “Please…” he begs in a breath. “Please. I… I want someone for me,” he whispers. “Please, Doctor.”

Pursing his lips, the doctor hangs his head before slowly nodding it. “It is your decision, Jongin. I cannot force you to do anything. But if you’re sure this is what you want, I will help in any way I can.”

“Thank you,” he lets out. “Thank you so much. And, Doctor… Please, don’t tell my brother or anyone about this.”

“It is not my place to do so,” the man says and rises to his feet. “But promise me you’ll give this more thoughts, Jongin. I will hand a prescription of medication to help ease the nausea to your brother. And, Jongin,” he pauses after buttoning up his coat. “I spoke as a doctor all this while, but now, I’m obliged to speak as a family friend. Will this Lycan that has you up the duff take responsibility?”

Jongin grits his teeth. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want him to. This is my child, I can take care after myself and him… or her.”

A scowl forms on Dr Heath’s greyed eyebrows. “I’ve known you since you were an infant, Jongin. Are you in some sort of trouble? This man _must_ take his responsibility, seeing that he _is_ partially responsible for the state you’re in. If you are indeed in trouble, Jongin, don’t think you will have to fight it alone. We are all a family, after all.”

“Please, Doctor. I… I can manage.”

The doctor huffs an exhausted sigh and nods. “All right, then. Don’t carry anything hefty, don’t run around. Try to eat some. If you can, sit at one place all day. I will book you an appointment as soon as possible and we’ll see what we can do, okay?”

When the doctor storms out of the room, Chanyeol surges in with a mug of coffee. “Made you some hot cup of joe,” he chimes and hands Jongin the mug before taking his seat at the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling?” he asks and presses the back of his hand to Jongin’s forehead. “God, you scared the living fucks out me and Kai.”

Jongin takes a sip of the coffee and stares into the mug. Usually, he wouldn’t refuse Chanyeol’s company, but right now, Jongin wants to wrap himself up in the blankets and cry through the night. But at the same time, he wants to laugh and scream at the top of his lungs for the whole world to hear.

He has a baby.

He is going to have someone.

And he is determined to have the child even if it kills him. For once, Jongin feels important, like his existence is significant in this world. He is part of the story, he is important. Important to his baby.

“Yoo-hoo?” Chanyeol coos, waving his hand in front of his face to gather his attention. “Why haven’t you been eating properly? If you’re worried about your body, I can assure you, you have a hot bod, Jongin.”

“I’m not on a diet, Chanyeol,” Jongin says, hoping that Chanyeol doesn’t notice the tremor in his voice. “But… I think I would like some meat.”

“Oh, really?” Chanyeol cocks his eyebrows. “I mean, it’s kind of a taboo to give you _some meat_ since we’re practically brothers, but… if it doesn’t bother you, I guess I’m—ah!” he yelps when a book slams the back of his head before Kai steps into the room, wearing half a scowl.

“Quit propositioning us just because you’re bored, Chanyeol,” Kai spits and shoves Chanyeol away to take his seat at the edge of Jongin’s bed. “I’ll go get these supplementary vitamins for you first thing tomorrow morning. But you have to eat something now, Jongin.”

“I want cheeseburger,” Jongin mutters and takes another swig of the coffee.

“Cheeseburger,” Kai echoes confusedly. “Uh, okay. Sure. Cheeseburger.”

 

* * *

 

“Voila!” Sky announces when the Christmas tree lights up, brightening the entire room. Thea claps her hands excitedly while Kris continues to glower with his arms crossed over his chest, though his hard expression isn’t as bitter as it used to be.

“This is beautiful,” Thea says in awe and presses a kiss to Sky’s cheek. “Thanks, you little brat,” she ruffles Sky’s hair at the back of his head. For the first time, Sky blushes pink looking in Sehun’s way.

Sehun retreats further into the corner, hugging his body to hide the hideous Christmas sweater Thea had forced him to wear when he returned to the inn after spending almost an entire day with Sky.

It hadn’t been that bad. Like Thea said, Sehun did enjoy the fresh air and the company, but his mood is far too mired in misery to be a good company himself. When they went hunting for a tree in the forest, Sky had told him everything about how they ended up in Itcara to run from the Pantherinaes attacking their previous home and when he and his family showed up here, Adrian had welcomed them into his pack with open arms. At first, Sehun had thought he was saying all those things just to make conversation, but it was only when Sky narrated how devastated his family was when the Pantherinaes destroyed his home did Sehun realize Sky was sharing these things with him because he genuinely wanted Sehun to know.

For the most part, Sehun silently watched Sky break a sweat to chop the tree down while he listened half attentively to the golden-haired boy. He knows a lot more about Sky now _and_ Adrian during all those years they had been separated. According to Sky, Adrian is literally the best of both worlds. He can be a ruthless monster and a loving brother, and that his actions are heavily dependent on his emotions. Well, Sehun could not argue with that. And to Sky and pretty much everyone in the pack, Adrian is a hero. A hero that protects them and in return, will be protected by them.

That had led to multiple stories of how Adrian had gotten his head almost ripped off, spine almost broken several times, trying to provide a home for his pack—this territory and he has always been the first person to come for help, not only when it concerned the pack’s security. When Sky was in high school, which he and Finn had graduated from last year, Adrian had apparently helped him through a row with a Pantherinae in his grade. And he had even shared a little secret—he likes Adrian more than his brother, Dan.

It should have been Sehun. Adrian should have done it all for Sehun. Sehun should have been here. He should have been the brother Adrian protected. He had missed it all. A burning jealousy had formed in Sehun’s stomach then.

“Do you… like it? It’s a good tree you picked.”

Sehun looks to Sky, who is grinning sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yes. I didn’t really contribute, though. It was all you.”

That causes Sky’s cheeks to grow redder. “Yeah, well, so long it made you happy.”

“It has,” Sehun mutters. “Thank you.”

“You… don’t look so happy, though,” he smiles. “You wish Adrian was here, don’t you?”

Sehun lowers his head. He wishes Kai was here. As each day passes by, Sehun begins to dread that Kai has forgotten about him and he doesn’t know why the thought hurts him so much. “Yeah.”

Sky lets out a breathy, deep laugh when Sehun lowers his hands to his sides. “Cute sweater,” he prods a finger into Sehun’s stomach, causing Sehun to flinch back.

“Please, I’m already vulnerable,” Sehun groans. “She got me new clothes to wear since I didn’t have any of my own and they’re all horrendous.”

“She made me wear a monstrous sweater last year, too,” he scoffs. “At least yours isn’t pink with baby blue snowflakes. She has a disastrous taste.”

“I’m right here, you know?” Thea snaps from where she stands by the tree and Sehun breaks out into a brief laugh.

Sky joins him with a chuckle. “God, it’s mission impossible to make you laugh.”

“Well, we’re gonna head home,” Kris says, yanking Thea to his side.

“Are you sure you’ll be fine on your own tonight, Sehun?” Thea asks with a concerned frown.

“I slept in a pretty dark and creepy cell for a couple of years,” Sehun sighs. “I think I’ll be fine managing a couple of days alone, Thea. Merry Christmas,” he leans forward to give her a warm hug before pulling back to face Kris. “Merry Christmas.”

Kris holds onto his grumpy expression for a little longer before he musters up a smile. “See if you can join us for dinner tomorrow night, will you?” he offers, much to the surprise of everyone in the room.

Sehun nods, reflecting his smile.

When the siblings take their leave, Sehun considers heading over to Adrian’s cottage, but he lets the thought slide when he realizes Adrian definitely wouldn’t want to welcome Christmas Eve tonight at twelve with him.

He turns around to meet Sky’s easy gaze and he gets lost in those cool eyes again. “Finn must hate me more now since you spent the entire day here,” Sehun sighs, walking over to the Christmas tree.

“He’ll get over it,” Sky scoffs, though the usual humour and liveliness are missing in his voice. Sehun turns to face him again and finds Sky slowly crossing the distance between them. “You got any Christmas wish, Sehun?” he asks in a low voice, which almost makes Sehun shiver.

He shakes his head. “I stopped believing in Christmas miracles and Santa Claus a long time ago.”

“Well, you did want a Christmas tree and,” he jerks his chin to the tree.

“Are you saying you’re Santa Claus?” Sehun fakes a gasp.

“If Santa Claus was _this_ hot, he would have melted the north pole.”

Sehun could not help the laughter that slips past his lips. “And I pegged you for the free-from-vanity type.”

“Oh, I’ve been hiding many things from you. My middle name is vain.”

“Why the façade, then, Skylyr _Vain_ Hazeldine?” Sehun snorts as a banter, folding his arms against his chest.

Sky halts with a foot distancing Sehun from him. He is close enough that Sehun could hear his ragged breathing. “To impress you,” he whispers, his gaze dropping to survey Sehun’s lips.

“Why… would you need to impress me?” the question escapes his lips as a mere whisper as Sehun helplessly stares into Sky’s captivating blue eyes.

Sky raises his hand to cup a side of Sehun’s face, diminishing the small gap between them as he leans in. His big, warm hand burns against Sehun’s cold cheek as his eyes bore into Sehun’s. “Take a guess,” Sky breathes out against Sehun’s lips.

“Sky,” Sehun exhales, pressing a hand to the Lycan’s chest to create some distance. “I can’t,” he whispers miserably and Sky withdraws at once, as though Sehun had scorched him.

“I’m sorry,” Sky blurts out and rubs his nape with a lockjaw.

“It’s okay,” Sehun murmurs, retreating a step. “I… I’m sorry.”

“No, please,” he rasps. “I’m the one who should be sorry… What was I thinking, making a move on a married guy? I’m sorry. I… I should go,” he sighs and runs a hand through his hair before hurrying out the cabin.

“Sky,” Sehun calls, chasing after him and when he catches Sky on the veranda, he says, “You are the only one who has been nice to me since the first time we met. And I swear, if I… I had met you first, I might have…” he trails off when Sky smiles.

“I get it, Sehun… No worries. I suspected it, anyway. But was just too ignorant and maybe too hopeful to believe it.”

Sehun grabs Sky’s arm. “I don’t want to lose you, too,” he utters under his breath, shuddering a little when the bitter night air slides under his sweater.

“You won’t,” he smiles, clasping a hand over Sehun’s that is holding onto his arm. “Good night, Sehun.”

Without waiting for a reply, Sky breaks into a jog towards the woods before disappearing between the trees. Sehun envelopes his body with his arms and clenches his eyes for a moment. “What am I doing,” he mutters to himself.

His eyes flash open and he squints painfully at the blinding lights before they die out. His heart skips a beat as the fine hairs on the back of his neck raise with a jolt passing down his spine when his eyes conceive the black SUV.

He slowly descends down the steps of the veranda as the brutal pounding of his heart resonates in his throat. Kai steps out of the car and clicks it lock before glancing over to Sehun, who could only gawk stupidly at him, unable to decide if this is real or one of those few nice dreams he has.

Kai seems equally taken aback as he does not smile and continues to stare at Sehun without blinking. Sehun parts his lips to suck in deeper breaths, then as if on cue, they sprint forward together. Running into one another’s arms, Sehun gasps, clutching onto Kai’s hair before Kai smashes their lips together and kisses him ferally, completely robbing him of his breaths. His arms slip under Sehun’s sweater to get a better clutch at Sehun’s body as his tongue delves into Sehun’s mouth and teeth mercilessly grazes Sehun’s quickly throbbing lips.


	27. Chapter 27

“What are you doing here?” Sehun gasps into Kai’s mouth, breaking the hungry kiss. “Kai, you really shouldn’t be here.”

“Where’s Adrian?” Kai asks, his eyes boring into Sehun’s while his cold palms sting Sehun’s back under the sweater. “I… I’m tired of this, Sehun. If Adrian wants to settle it on the battleground, then so be it.”

“He’s not here. But _why_ are _you_ here? There are some wolves from another pack around the territory, too, Kai. It’s really not safe for you to be here,” he demands and though, he does not want to ever part from Kai again, he forces himself to withdraw a step.

“I’ve… missed you,” Kai says in a low voice and reaches out to cup Sehun’s cheek. “This is going to sound ridiculous to you, but I take back what I said, Sehun. I want you to come with me and even though I know it’s not fair, I want you to choose me. I know you won’t, but I’m lost and I just can’t stop thinking about you. Maybe you didn’t think about me, but it’s a torture—” Sehun cuts him off by fisting Kai’s coat collars and yanks him forward to silence him with his mouth.

Kai gives his all into the kiss, feet planted firmly into the snow while his hands drive further up Sehun’s back. “Kai,” Sehun lets out in a whispery moan against Kai’s tongue. “There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t thought of you,” he whispers, pressing their foreheads together.

“Seriously?” Kai blinks, seeming genuinely surprised.

“But I can’t go with you. Not until Adrian is ready to be reasonable.”

Kai lets out a groan, rolling his eyes. “Your brother really can be a pain in the arse when he wants to,” he mutters under his breath. “How… are you, anyway?”

Sehun suddenly becomes conscious of Kai’s hands stroking the sides of his torso and pulls away. “I’m… fine.”

A frown takes form on Kai’s face. “You don’t… look fine.”

“Kai, you should leave before Adrian finds out.”

“Let him do his worst,” Kai spits. “I’m tired of waiting for him to calm down. I want to be with you, Sehun. There, I said it.”

Sehun fails to hide the smile that creeps onto his face. “I want to be with you, too, Kai,” he says in a shy voice with a cool chill settling in his stomach. “But not now. I can’t… make him angrier. It will only aggravate the situation.”

“All right. Fine. I’ll leave, if that’s what you want,” he says sourly, grimacing to the ground.

“Kai,” Sehun sighs, raising his hands to Kai’s chest.

Kai’s longing gaze penetrates Sehun’s as his expression softens. “Can you not ask any questions and come with me now?”

“What? Why? Where?”

“Which part of ‘can you not ask any questions’ did you not understand?” Kai asks, cocking a brow. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring you back before Adrian even notices that you’re gone.”

Sehun worries his lower lip, glancing to the forest in the direction of Adrian’s cottage. “Kai, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Kai curls an arm around Sehun to pull him closer. “Please?” he breathes out and runs his thumb along Sehun’s lower lip before he pulls away completely and starts towards his car. After hesitating for a minute, Sehun hurries after Kai and jumps into the SUV.

 

* * *

 

By the time Kai pulls the car over to the soulless roadside, a spiral of blizzard starts to swallow the area with its violent waves of snow that blind the car’s windows and mirrors with its whiteness. “What are… we doing here?” Sehun asks, frowning at the snow sticking to the window.

“We’re married, Sehun,” Kai says after sucking in a breat and Sehun shifts his confused frown to Kai. “We’re married, yes?” he grips the wheel with an unnecessary amount of force.

“Y-yes?” Sehun replies tentatively.

“I get why you chose to stay with your brother, but I want to know now if this marriage means something to you, if you want me to be someone to you, or if you’re just planning to move on when you can.”

Sehun remains mum for a while before he reaches out to take Kai’s hand. “I—”

“Because if you are, then I’ll stop hoping. I will be able to get on with my life and not pine for something that’s bound to leave me, anyway. After all, I _am_ the grandson of the guy that ruined you. Plus, I’m a Pantherinae. If this is just a fling, then say so. I won’t get my hopes up. You’re not trapped in this marriage, Sehun. I promised that you can leave when you want to and I stick by my words. It’s going to be a new year in a few days and you have a chance to start your life anew. I don’t want you to feel obligated to be trapped in a marriage with me. Your brother, I could deal with. But if you’re just going to leave me after a while, I’d rather not bother. Whether I’m your husband on paper is beside the point, I am nothing else to you. Take Chanyeol and Baekhyun for example. They have been in love for as long as anyone knows and even they have their doubts about getting married. But we’re actually married and there is just… no meaning behind that. I was hurt, Sehun. That you so offhandedly decided to stay back with your brother and not care an ounce about discussing it with me or even informing me about it! I had to hear it from Thea! And I’m not even the bad guy here. Did you know your brother bludgeoned me that night that I passed out and was dragged to my aunt’s house?”

Sehun’s eyes could not get any wider than they already are when Kai looks to him. “What?” he lets out. “He hit you?”

“Like a billion times! Right in the face! Did I come running to you, whining about it, and demanding that you leave your brother immediately? I actually can do that because we both took oaths and we signed legal papers, which legally needs to be nullified through a divorce if you’re not planning to lead a marital life with me now that the accord is obviously not going to happen. But no, I didn’t! Because I want you to make your own _right_ choices and stand on your own two feet and not let anyone manipulate you,” Kai pauses to take a breath. “My… point is… I want you, Sehun,” he says in a lowered voice. “In all the ways. But… if I don’t mean as much to you, I need you to say it. If you think staying by Adrian’s side and… maybe finding a Lycan mate is the best choice for you, then… I’ll back out.”

There is no tremor in Sehun’s unwavering gaze as he continues to stare at Kai.

“Say something,” Kai orders and feels a little offended when Sehun looks away.

“Okay,” he lets out, dropping his gaze to his palms on his lap.

“Okay?” Kai echoes, arching an eyebrow. “I pour my heart out and all I get is… _okay_?”

“You want to have sex and that’s what the speech is for, right?” he says without raising his head.

“Wha…” Kai stops himself and rubs his temples. “I give up. Fine, Sehun. Have it your way,” he clenches his jaw and looks ahead. The windshield and the road are completely mired in the blizzard, there is no way he could drive home in this snow. He is not going to mope in front of Sehun either. “And did you just say _sex_ out lou—” he is cut off by Sehun who shifts to the driver’s seat and straddles Kai, his knees on either side of Kai and his hands immediately find their way into Kai’s hair. “What are you doing?” Kai rasps, gawking stupidly at Sehun, whose hands now shift to unbutton Kai’s coat.

“You wanted me,” Sehun mutters breathily, eyes focused on the coat until the buttons are unfastened. “Have me, then.”

Kai could not possibly be certain that he heard right. He feels as though the air that is supposed to keep him alive is suddenly suffocating him as his hands hungrily climb up Sehun’s ridiculous sheep sweater to feel Sehun writhe under his touch when his cold fingers brush the warm skin of his stomach. “Don’t tempt me, Sehun,” Kai purrs, leaning into the crook of Sehun’s neck, pressing a kiss on the skin there, which makes Sehun shudder so deliciously against his chest. “Because I won’t stop.” He slides the sweater up and latches his lips to the skin below Sehun’s navel. A whimper escapes Sehun’s lips as Kai kisses up the narrow navel while his hands sculpt the curve of Sehun’s waist.

“Don’t… stop,” he lets out in a shaky whisper as his hand firmly grip Kai’s hair at the back of his head. “I want you, too. I just… want you, Kai,” he says, bowing his head as Kai looks up, thirsting for those rosy pink lips. When he slips his hand around the back of Kai’s neck, he feels the cold ring sting the skin and it strikes Kai, then.

“Sehun,” he sighs, drawing his hands out of Sehun’s sweater to cup his face. “As much as I want this, and I need you to know this isn’t what I want the most right now, I want this to be… special. Not a quick fuck in the car on the roadside. We’re… married and this is… our first time. Your first time.”

Sehun frowns, lowering to sit on Kai’s lap as his fingers unconsciously play with Kai’s hairline on the nape. “This will be fine,” he mutters, his cheeks burning red and eyes puzzled with hesitancy.

“No, it won’t,” Kai strokes Sehun’s cheek with his knuckles and smiles. “I need you to be comfortable and _this_ will not be comfortable.”

Sehun bites his lower lip, mustering the sincerity in Kai’s eyes. “Will it… really hurt that bad?”

Kai heaves another sigh. “I think so, yes,” he says with all honesty there is. “Do you really want to… be with me, _live_ with me, Sehun?”

“I do, Kai,” Sehun blurts out, his eyes sheening with tears. “More than anything. I… I can’t picture myself falling in love with someone else.”

Kai could not help the grin the tugs at his lips as he runs his hand through Sehun’s hair. “But you also need your brother.”

“Yes.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Kai nods his head. “Then, I’ll figure something out. After all, I’m the one that needs to do something so that Adrian will just stop punishing everyone around me. I got us into this and I’ll fix it.”

Not just for their sake, but also for Jongin’s. For the past few days, Jongin has looked the worst and for weeks, his mood could never be lifted, and Kai knows for a fact that he is deeply scarred by Adrian and the only antidote there is for his ailment is Adrian. For all of their sakes, Kai needs to come up with a way to appease his headstrong brother-in-law.

“I’m… glad I met you, Sehun,” Kai whispers, leaning in to press a kiss to Sehun’s forehead. “You’re one of the few good things to happen in my life. You really do bring out the best in me. The old me would have gone to a fight with Adrian without thinking about the consequences. The old me would have… ambushed Adrian with the entire Pride when he’s alone. I would have somehow killed him for what he’s doing.”

Sehun pulls back, his wide eyes suddenly filled with horror. “You would?!”

“No, no. I’m not like that anymore. I promise.”

“Anymore?” he blinks. “You were like that before?”

“Yeah,” he lowers his gaze. “But that’s a story for a different time, I guess.” He glances outside and finds the blizzard to have allayed. “I think we should get you home before Adrian realizes that you’re gone.”

“Wait,” Sehun grabs onto Kai’s shoulders. “How… prepared should I be? Like mentally?” he asks in a small, shy voice.

“What do you mean?” Kai grasps the meaning when he finds Sehun blushing redder by the second. “Oh… I honestly don’t know, Sehun. It’s not like I’ve done it with a Lycan before. But it’s safe. Shapeshifters interbreed all the time.”

Sehun nods his head. “I don’t care. I want it. With you.”

Kai smirks, pulling Sehun’s face close. “I like this progress,” he whispers and kisses him chastely. “Just a little longer,” he breathes against Sehun’s lips, pressing their foreheads together.

 

* * *

 

“You’re leaving tomorrow?”

Jongin leaves the packing to turn around and entertain his cousin that strides into the room without an invitation as usual. “Yeah.”

Chanyeol shrugs, lounging on the bed. “But why? What’s so great about the city?”

“I just need a fresh view, a fresh perspective, a fresh everything,” Jongin sighs, returning half of his attention to the books he was sorting out to bring along before Chanyeol interrupted him.

“There is nothing fresh about the city, though,” Chanyeol scoffs. “Except sewer rats and a bunch of pollutants, maybe. Besides, it’s New Year in a couple of days and you’re leaving now?”

“Speaking of leaving,” Jongin turns around and confronts Chanyeol with a raised brow. “You can’t just avoid Baekhyun and hide in here forever, you know.”

“Uh, yes, I can.”

“Don’t you miss him?” he asks, stuffing his books into the luggage. He has packed more books than clothes, because clothes, he can find aplenty of Kai’s at their mother’s place, but books should be in short supply.

“Have you ever heard about this fantastic invention called e-Book?” Chanyeol retorts and Jongin shakes his head.

“There is nothing better than having it raw.”

Chanyeol snorts out a laugh. “That’s what she said.”

Rolling his eyes, Jongin averts his attention to the bookshelf again. He has been feeling a lot better since Christmas, which wasn’t half as bad as he thought it would be with Chanyeol around to liven things up. He had forfeited a Christmas with his own family to spend it with Jongin and Kai, or maybe he was just too scared Baekhyun would show up at his place.

No, he should rectify himself. He has been feeling a lot better _emotionally_ , but definitely not physically. It probably isn’t the brightest idea to travel right now, but Dr Heath had persisted that Jongin could get a better medical care in the city than in Harvington, which Jongin supposes played out well to his own agenda. Besides, he isn’t sure he is ready to stick around Kai with such a heavy secret weighing on his shoulder. It is bad enough that Kai is already in a row with Adrian over Sehun, the last thing Jongin ever wants is to be another factor for the exacerbation of circumstances. He can’t be Kai’s weakness if he’s far away from here and Adrian can no longer hold Jongin as a trump card against Kai.

He has been trying to not to think about Adrian lately and it hasn’t been that difficult. It is sort of hard to keep thinking about a guy that is never present. It almost feels like Adrian had never existed in his life, except that he has left some memorabilia for Jongin to live with for the rest of his life. It isn’t a complaint, though. It is a blessing. Kai might be his brother, but with time, he would have his own family, and Jongin cannot always be a part of it. This child is a testament stating that Jongin is not entirely a lost cause. He has his purpose now. And there will be someone to love him unconditionally.

Jongin would never peg himself for the vindictive sort, but a small part of him wants Adrian to suffer the loss of parenthood. He wants Adrian to know that he will play no part in this child’s life. But there is also a part of him that dreads Adrian would snub their baby as he had snubbed Jongin and that could only hurt worse.

“I should go tell Sehun goodbye,” he speaks his thought out loud and finds Chanyeol grimacing at him.

“Sehun picked his side, Jongin. He’s not our friend. He doesn’t want to be. He’s a _Lycan_.”

“He’s still my friend.” He stops himself to glance to the door when he hears the front door open and shut. Chanyeol sits up on the bed at once, his eyes bulging out in shock.

“Jongin!” Baekhyun yaps as he spills into the room and throws his arms around Jongin. “You fainted?!”

Jongin pats on Baekhyun’s back and pulls away from the rough embrace. “Yeah, like six days ago,” he smiles.

“He just texted me today,” he pins Chanyeol a scowl before marching over to him. Jongin muffles a gasp by clasping his hands over his mouth when Baekhyun’s hand strikes across Chanyeol’s face.

“Ow!” Chanyeol shrieks, palming his cheek to shield it from getting slapped again.

“You disappear for days without a call or a text and missed Christmas, and then suddenly this morning, ‘ _Jongin fainted merry X-Mas hugs bye_ ’?! Who do you think you’re texting?! Your mother?!”

“I don’t have a mother,” he whispers, slowly sliding further away from Baekhyun’s reach.

“Not the point! You were here the whole time?!”

“Why do you care, anyway?!” Chanyeol screeches back. “You don’t want me anymore, do you?! You said no to marrying me, so why do you care where I am?!”

Baekhyun freezes for a moment, blinking vacantly at Chanyeol. “That’s… what this is all about? Chanyeol, you had a beef jerky in your hand and a piece of broccoli stuck between your teeth while we were watching _Howard the Duck_ and you whispered, _“hey, babe, marry maaaaah”_ , I thought you were fucking stoned!”

Chanyeol kneels up on the bed and points an accusatory finger at Baekhyun. “You still said no!”

“I said I won’t marry you at that moment, not that I won’t marry you forever! For fuck’s sake, you were eating that stinking cheese, Chanyeol! You couldn’t have thought of a more romantic way to propose?!”

“Hey, it was Brie de Meaux!” Chanyeol yelps defensively. “Quit giving excuses, Baekhyun! I know you said no because you want that hotshot wolf!”

“What hotshot wolf?!” he yells back.

“What rhymes with piss?!”

“Kris?”

“See! You know him!” Chanyeol screams for the whole manor to hear.

“God, you’re being ridiculous!”

“Classic Chanyeol,” Jongin says, coughing into his fist, unable to hold back a laughter. “I think I’ll let you two make up,” he mutters and excuses himself from the room, closing the door behind him as the lovers continue to quarrel.

He finds Kai in the drawing room with papers and pens strewn all over the table as he furiously scribbles on a paper with his eyebrows furrowed into a concentrated scowl.

“Hey,” Jongin says, giving the door a soft knock. Kai does not lift his head, but lets out a groan. “What are you… doing there?”

“I’ve been writing down ideas.”

“For…?”

“To come up with a plan on how to tackle Adrian. What’s his strengths, his weaknesses… Now that Sehun is the one I want, I can’t include him either.”

Jongin winces at the name. “You know, his pack means everything to him.”

Kai’s head shoots up and his eyes dart to Jongin at once. After a moment of staring, he jolts up to his feet and slams his hands to the table. “Oh, my god, Jongin, you’re a genius!” he hurries over to Jongin and grabs the sides of Jongin’s face to press a forceful kiss onto Jongin’s forehead before he storms out and races to his room.

Jongin slides a hand over his stomach and wonders if Kai would be there for his child in case Jongin… isn’t. He doesn’t want his child to grow an orphan. No, Kai _will_ be there for him… or her. Though, Jongin has a strong inkling it is a boy. Dr Heath advised that it is probably not best to get too attached to the baby right away, but Jongin could not stop talking to him at every chance he gets or when he is eating or reading a book.

It doesn’t feel right to leave without seeing Sehun for one last time. Jongin isn’t sure when he will return or _if_ he will return in the first place. For many years, it was just him and Sehun in this lonely manor, and Jongin isn’t ready to give up on that friendship just yet. And if Adrian will kill him for going back there, then so be it. Jongin would love to have a word with that jerk, anyway.

 

* * *

 

“You can stop here,” Jongin says to the taxi driver a few stones away from the inn and pays the fare. “Can you pick me up back here in half an hour?”

“Of course, son,” the driver chimes, grinning back at him.

Jongin does not think he needs to attract too much attention by pulling up at the inn. The evening air is crisp and the snow is denser here than in Harvington as Jongin trudges over them, enjoying the purple sky of stars and the silent ambience as much as he could. He knows he would not get any of this in the city.

Buttoning his coat up, he pats his tummy, hoping that the baby is warm. It is foolish, he knows, but the baby is also a living being now. A human is living inside of him. In a year, he would be in Jongin’s arms.

When he reaches the cabin, he pushes the door open with his heart thundering in his chest. He isn’t sure what he’s nervous about, but he does not think anyone in Adrian’s pack would actually hurt him here. Okay, Kris might.

“Jongin?” Thea gasps from the counter and rushes to Jongin’s side before pulling him into a hug. “God, how have you been?!”

“I’m good, Thea,” Jongin says with a smile. “I’ve missed you.”

“I have missed you, too, but you shouldn’t have come here, Jongin.”

“I know, I know. But I need to see Sehun. I’m going away. To live with my mother for a while. I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

“Ah,” she rubs up and down Jongin’s arm. “I hope you have a safe journey, but Sehun isn’t here. He _just_ left for Adrian’s cottage. If you hurry, you might catch him midway.”

“Oh… um, okay,” Jongin lets Thea peck on his cheek before he waves her goodbye and starts walking towards the cottage. He only vaguely remembers the way through the snow-washed forest as he follows the half-erased man-made path to the cottage. He could catch a whiff of Sehun’s scent, he shouldn’t be too far away.

But within seconds, he loses track of the scent and a wave of unfamiliar scents hits his senses. Jongin comes to a jerky halt and freezes for a moment before turning around. His breath hitches as the tall, heavily built man smiles at him. At his side, a Grey Wolf snarls at Jongin, taking a step closer as Jongin retreats one.

“Are you lost, kitty?” the man says, clicking his tongue and spits to the ground as he advances closer.

Jongin swallows. “I-I… I want no trouble,” he lets out shakily, considering screaming out for help. He doesn’t think he has ever seen this man before or even smelled his scent around here the last time he was here.

“Ah… too bad _I_ do,” he edges closer along with the wolf. “You’re the damaged Pantherinae from Harvington. What are you doing here?”

“I’m… a friend of Sehun’s. His brother is your Alpha, so I don’t think you wanna corner me like this.”

The man scratches his beard, exhaling a sigh. “I guess it’s a good thing he is _not_ my Alpha, then. I have all authority to rip a Pantherinae’s head off on a Lycan territory.”

Jongin spins around to run for it, but staggers back after bumping against a stone-hard chest. Almost as tall as the other Lycan, the black-haired man steps forward. Jongin’s blood begins to pound in his ears.

“What do we have here?” the black-haired man huffs.

“Lara will be glad if we cashed this one in,” the other guy says and the wolf lets out a curt howl. Without a warning, the black-haired Lycan’s hand flies up to clutch Jongin’s neck and with a brutal blow, Jongin’s head slams back against a tree. A sharp cry escapes Jongin’s throat when a fist pummels him across his face. A tear at the corner of his lips bleeds and Jongin halfway dodges a punch into his stomach by kneeing the black-haired Lycan in his guts before slipping from the grip of the other man.

He breaks into a ferocious sprint into the trees as his eyes sting with tears and blood trickles down the side of mouth. His pounding heart leaps when he catches a sight of Adrian and Finn mowing down trees with axes in their hands in a far distance.

Jongin opens his mouth to cry Adrian’s name, but his voice is muffled by the big, strong hand that slaps over his mouth from behind and he is yanked back. Jongin still tries to scream, but is forced into further silence by the hand. He sinks his teeth into the man’s finger the first chance he gets and elbows the man in his chest.

“Adrian!” he doesn’t need to scream too loud for Adrian to notice, in spite of the distance. With every breath and ounce of energy that he has, Jongin bolts towards Adrian as Adrian turns his attention in his way, his expression instantly diving into shock.

“Jongin?” Adrian calls out and with tears breaking from his eyes, Jongin runs straight into Adrian’s arms, throwing his entire weight onto him for Adrian to support, which he does with a single arm.

“What the…” Finn lets out as Jongin sobs into Adrian’s bare, sweat-bathed chest.

“Jongin,” Adrian exhales, cupping a side of Jongin’s face to lift it up and his lips parts in shock as his thumb grazes the blood on the corner of his lips. He lifts his head and his murderous glaring gaze falls on the two men, who have stopped short a few feet upfront. “Take him to the cottage,” Adrian spits through his grit teeth, passing Jongin over to Finn. Then yanking the axe out of the fallen tree trunk, Adrian starts stomping towards the two Lycans with the axe gripped monstrously in his hand.


	28. Chapter 28

“Oh, my God. What happened?!” Sehun gasps when Finn burst into the cottage with Jongin, whose mouth is covered in blood.

“Move aside,” Finn hisses at Sehun as he rushes Jongin to the couch and gently helps him to take a seat before dropping to a knee before Jongin. “What are you doing here?” he asks, shooting Sehun a scowl.

“I… I came to see Adrian. What happened?” he demands shakily again, hurrying to Jongin’s side while Finn examines Jongin’s face with his fingers carefully holding Jongin’s chin.

“How are you feeling?” Finn inquires in a small voice, grimacing at the bruise on the corner of Jongin’s lips. “You seem shaken.”

Jongin nods curly, his eyes red and glistening. Finn jolts up to his feet and races to the kitchen. “Jongin,” Sehun calls, sliding a hand into Jongin’s. “Who… did this?”

“I don’t… know,” Jongin lets out, trying to mollify the pounding in his head. “There were… men… wolf…” he clenches his shirt by the stomach with the inside of his cheek aching in agony. He looks up at the golden-haired Lycan that returns to the living room with a damp towel in his hand.

“Come here,” Finn mutters as he lowers to his knee and gently cups the back of Jongin’s neck to pull his face closer to his. Jongin hisses when Finn presses the towel to his swollen lip. “Jeez, that looks bad.”

“He’s… going to hurt them, isn’t he?” Jongin asks in a silent gasp.

“Can someone tell me what’s going on?!” Sehun caterwauls with his face scrunched up with concern.

“It’s one of those rogue wolves Adrian allowed to roam the territory,” Finn spits, softly dabbing the towel to Jongin’s lips. “Fuck, I hate their guts.”

Sehun blinks in confusion and so does Jongin. “I’ll get you some water,” Sehun murmurs and hurries away.

“They didn’t seem… to care about who I am, except that I’m a Pantherinae,” Jongin says, grimacing as Finn ministers to his wound. “Why is Adrian allowing them into his territory?”

“I actually have no idea. I suppose he’s trying to unite the packs from around here. But they’re not like us. Huge arse douchebags,” he grumbles under his breath.

“Here,” Sehun hands Jongin a glass water when he returns to the couch. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Jongin shakes his throbbing head before taking a sip of the cold water. The thought of almost having his stomach punched in sends a shudder down his spine. “I-i-if… he hurts them now, wouldn’t it get you in trouble with the other pack?” he asks and shivers with Finn strokes the end of Jongin’s lips with his thumb, cupping his jaw.

“No. You’re practically his family, so no one’s actually allowed to hurt you,” Finn says, withdrawing his hand before he rises to his feet. “You remember what he did to Alan just for slagging off.”

“Why is he suddenly opening his territory to other packs?” Sehun inquires, grabbing Finn’s thick-muscled arm. “Why… now?”

“Why do you think?” the blonde man snarls, pulling his arm free. “Thanks to you and your husband, I guess.”

“Why do you hate me?” Sehun asks with a frown etched to his brows.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then, why do you treat me like an enemy? You snub me, but you nurse Jongin, who is _actually_ a Pantherinae.”

“Because as far as I know, he hasn’t caused any trouble around here.”

“And _I_ have?!”

“Everything started since you showed up here with a Pantherinae!”

Jongin pushes himself up and lays a hand on Sehun’s shoulder. “Don’t listen to him,” he tells Sehun. “Everything would have been worse if it weren’t for you.” He glances back to pin Finn with a subtle glower.

Finn rolls his eyes. “Well, I guess that’s _thank you_.”

“Thank you,” Jongin says. “But none of this is Sehun’s fault. A part of me believes that Adrian, you and everyone would have killed me and my brother for what our grandfather had done if Sehun wasn’t involved.”

Licking his lips, Finn lets out a sigh. “What’s your name again?”

“Jongin.”

He nods his head. “Arofynn. Hazeldine.”

Though Jongin has indeed seen Finn around with his brother Sky before, they have never been properly introduced. “I would have said it’s nice to meet you if I just didn’t have my face bludgeoned.”

Finn smirks despite himself, but the smile dies when the door slams open and Adrian steps in. Jongin’s stomach flips at once and he almost retches as Adrian ambles into the cottage, half of his face and the front of his shirtless body smeared in blood.

Sehun clasps a hand over his mouth, his eyes bulging out in horror. Adrian swallows and looks to Finn expressionlessly. Handing out his bloody axe to Finn, he says, “Take care of it.”

Finn bows his head, accepting the axe. “Yeah, maybe you should wash up,” he pats on Adrian’s chest before storming out of the cottage.

“What the…” Sehun exhales, gawking at his brother while Jongin tries to swallow the sob that rises in his throat. “Who hurt Jongin, Adrian?”

Adrian clenches his jaw, his eyes resting only on Jongin without a single tremble in his concentration.

“You are willing to let these rogue wolves tyrannize in your territory and hurt innocent people, but not allow Pantherinaes, who actually care for you and your brother?” Sehun growls, taking a step closer. Jongin’s averts his gaze from Adrian’s dark eyes to his heaving, bloody chest. He isn’t sure how accustomed Sehun and Lycans are to bathing in blood, but Jongin can never get used to seeing his loved ones having so much blood in their hands. “Of course, not. After all, you did hit Kai, didn’t you? And now, you… you hurt those wolves for hurting Jongin? Why are you such a hypocrite, Adrian?”

Jongin wants to stop Sehun from venting, but he isn’t sure he wants to be on Adrian’s side now. What would have happened if he hadn’t run into Adrian and Finn? If Adrian really didn’t care, why would he save Jongin and get himself into trouble by hurting the wolves from the other pack? But if he really did care for Jongin, then why would he torment Jongin in a way worse than death?

Jongin looks away at last, unable to keep his eyes on the blood Adrian’s covered in.

“Why are you letting these wolves in here, Adrian?!” Sehun bellows. “I am tired of you doing this! You told me to choose between you and the Pantherinaes, and I did! But all that you’re doing now is pushing me away. I feel like an orphan again. Are you really happy now, Adrian? Jongin could have gotten really hurt! And you’re definitely making me miserable! Are you happy?! Why did you let Jongin get his head ripped off? You’re keeping me here. You couldn’t hurt Kai more than this. You’re actually winning. So, tell me. Does this make you happy? Or must it still be blood for blood? Should Kai and I die for you to truly be satisfied?” he advances forward. “Who… are these wolves? Are you… recruiting them for a fight against Kai and the Pride? If that’s the case, why don’t you just defeat Kai in a one-on-one fight? He’d lose for sure. And you won’t need to bother yourself with all these endeavours.”

Adrian draws in a breath and faces his brother. “It’s Lara’s pack. I told them not to come around here anymore, but it’s not like I have this place fenced, Sehun. And they’re… Lycans, anyway. They’re our kind. But they’re not gonna hang out here again. I think I made sure of that a while ago.” The guilt and regret are suddenly palpable in Adrian’s frown.

“Wait… Lara?”

Jongin looks to Sehun. “Who’s Lara?” he asks.

“Hold on, Adrian. Lara? As in your… girlfriend?” Sehun says with shock in his expression and Jongin turns to pin Adrian with a similar look, but his heart shatters into a million shards.

“It’s a long story, Sehun,” Adrian sighs. “If you don’t mind, I think you two need to leave.”

“I do mind, Adrian,” Sehun spits. “I’ve had nothing but respect and love for you all this while, but now, I’m doubting if you deserve any of it. You don’t want me here, do you? I’m… I feel like I’m suffocating, Adrian. This is used to be my home, but… I don’t think it is anymore. I love you, but if you loved me, you will find it in your heart to forgive me and you’d want me to be happy, just as I want _you_ to be happy. But I cannot destroy Kai’s happiness for yours. He might be a murderer’s kindred and he might have hurt me once, but he hasn’t hurt me the way you do and want to. That’s what I came to say. I’m not choosing Kai over you, Adrian. But I’m not gonna stay here. I cannot. This pack might mean a lot to you, but if you weren’t its Alpha, you won’t mean much to it. But I will _always_ be your brother. You lost me once and you’re losing me again. All for revenge? Go ahead. Keep punishing us. And this won’t be the last time you’re bathed in blood. I have to leave.”

“Get out, then,” Adrian says through his teeth with his hands clenched at his sides.

Blinking the tears away, Sehun nods his head and shoves past his brother. “Come on, Jongin,” he says before disappearing through the door.

Jongin licks the side of his mouth as he treads on Sehun’s footsteps, but pauses before Adrian for a moment. He hesitantly looks up at Adrian’s eyes on the brink of breaking into a sob. But he sucks in a sharp breath and toughens himself. “Why… did you save me?” he asks in a whisper and drops his gaze when Adrian starts to stare at him.

“What?”

“Why did you save… me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Adrian asks as though Jongin sound ridiculous.

Jongin lifts his head and lets Adrian see him through the tears in his eyes. “How did you find the heart to do that to _me_ , Adrian?” Jongin’s voice shakes as he speaks. “I have never done anything wrong to you or anyone and you chose to hurt me like this. I had completely given myself to you and you broke me. I heard you say this to Kai once—‘A man hitting a weaker person, especially one that trusts him, is no man at all.’ Well, let me tell you something. I trusted you more than anyone and you hit me in the worst way you could.” With that, Jongin hurries out of the cottage before he could burst into tears.

 

* * *

 

Sehun isn’t sure how he had managed to muster the courage to leave Itcara and Adrian. But he has not felt this liberated in a while, it feels as though he could finally breathe.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Sehun asks Jongin for the nth time as they enter the manor. Though Sehun hasn’t been in here for a significant period, he finally feels like he is back home from a tormenting vacation.

“I’m fine,” Jongin says, nodding shakily. “I just need to… rest.”

“Jongin,” Sehun grabs his hand on the staircase and Jongin drowsily faces him, blinking with exhaustion. “You just got attacked. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“I’m tired, Sehun,” he mutters, his eyes filled to the brim with fatigue. “And Sehun, Kai doesn’t need to know about it.”

“What?”

“Please. He already has a lot on his plate. If he asks about the bruises, we’ll tell him I got dizzy and bashed my face into a tree.”

Sehun nods his head, even though he doesn’t think Kai would believe it. “Okay.”

Managing a small smile, Jongin says, “It’s good to have you back here.”

Sehun mirrors Jongin’s smile. “I don’t think I’m going anywhere anytime soon.”

When they reach Jongin’s room, Sehun waits to ensure Jongin gets comfortable, but he jumps when Jongin gasps as soon as he opens the door before slamming it shut again, spinning around to stare at Sehun with horrified wide eyes.

“What?” Sehun rasps.

Jongin stands frozen for a moment as though he has seen a ghost. “Um… Baekhyun and… Chanyeol… uh… I guess they made up,” he mutters, scratching the back of his neck. “… on my bed.”

Sehun clears his throat. “You could rest in my room.”

“It’s fine. I’ll check into one of the guest rooms,” he sighs. “I won’t mind if you burn my room down before I go back in there, by the way.”

Sehun lets out a chuckle as Jongin proceeds up another flight of stairs, rubbing his temples.

As Sehun wends his way to the room he is supposed to be sharing with Kai, he contemplates what should be said when they meet again. Kai had promised him that he’d find a way for them to be together, but perhaps he wouldn’t be a fan of Sehun’s decision. It doesn’t matter. Sehun cannot go back to Adrian if Adrian continues to hold a grudge against him.

When he walks into the room without knocking, hoping to find Kai asleep, he encounters an empty bed instead and hears the shower running in the bathroom. Shutting the door as quietly as he could, Sehun pulls his coat off and glances around the room. It is a mess of papers and clothes.

He flumps on the edge of the bed and buries his face in his palms, wondering if leaving Adrian will turn out to be a bad idea with horrible consequences. Will Adrian only hurt them more hereafter?

Does it matter? What truly matters is what he has right now. Raising his head, he glances to the closed bathroom door and swallows hard before he gets onto his feet and pulls his clothes off.

Blood rushes to his cheeks and the nape of his neck, plunging his senses into a pit of fire as his stomach grumbles with trepidation. His hands tremble a little, but he balls them into fists and enters the bathroom.

He knows he isn’t exactly _perfect_ or _beautiful_ and Kai probably deserves better. But if there is anything that Sehun could give Kai, it’s this. What else could he give a man that has it all? Money, looks, power. Sehun strongly believes that he doesn’t have any of them. Especially now with the burn scars on his skin.

His breath quickens when he finds Kai in the shower cubicle with his hands in his wet hair as the water cascades down his toffee-brown body, which only makes Sehun harder to breathe. He wants Kai to find him beautiful, he wants Kai to hold him like he is the most precious thing in this world. And in all the gentleness, he also wants Kai to have a firm grip on him like Sehun belongs to no one else.

Kai freezes for a second before turning around to gape at Sehun with surprise when Sehun steps into the shower cubicle. “Sehun?!” Kai gasps, his eyes immediately wandering down Sehun’s bare body. His mouth falls open as water rivulets trickle down his chest, thick arms, and abdominal muscles. “Wha… what are you… doing here?” he asks in a low whisper, his gaze slowly climbing its way back up to Sehun’s reddened face.

Sehun breaches into Kai’s personal space and the water from the showerhead bullets on his head, dousing his hair with warm water as he brings a hand to Kai’s chest. Splaying his fingers over the chest, Sehun leans closer as the water drenches them both. Kai’s expression shifts at once and the shock in it immediately hardens into a grave, serious glare as he curls his arms around Sehun’s waist and with a brutal tug, he yanks Sehun close, causing their chests to slap together and with water running down their faces, he slams their mouths together, drinking every drop that touches Sehun’s burning lips.


	29. Chapter 29

Words are replaced by ragged breaths and desperate moans, which hang in heat between their mouths as Kai’s tongue presses against Sehun’s, pushing his shivering husband onto a glass wall of the shower cubicle and tightens his grip around Sehun’s body. Sucking in a gasp, Sehun clings onto Kai’s neck, his fingers struggling to get a grip on Kai’s water-slicked hair. The fiery kiss melts into a languid whisper when Kai slides a hand down Sehun’s hip and cups the underside of Sehun’s thigh to lift it up in order to press himself between Sehun’s legs. Sehun clenches his eyes, his lips searching for Kai’s as their rapidly hardening shafts stroke against one another.

Whatever the reason may be for Sehun showing up here out of the blue, it can wait. This instant, all that Kai wants is to feel Sehun, taste and savour him, drink him whole. Etch his body onto his own. And considering how easily he has surrendered to Kai’s touch, Sehun appears to have the same idea.

While one of his hands fondles the underside of Sehun’s thigh, the other snakes around the Lycan’s waist and caresses the protruding tailbone, receiving a raw shudder from Sehun as he arches into Kai’s body. “Kai,” he breathes against Kai’s lips and tongue, and that is all it takes for Kai to harden fully as he hoists Sehun up, securing his hands beneath his thighs.

He leaves the shower running as he carries Sehun out of the bathroom, all the way to the bed without breaking the needy, sloppy kiss. Dropping Sehun to recline on the bed, he kneels up between Sehun’s legs and consumes the stunning sight before him. Sehun lays red and pink, his skin glistening with water rivulets, his glassy eyes sheening with want and desire. For a brief moment, Sehun’s gaze shifts to Kai’s body and his trembling lips pant for more air.

Running a hand through his damp hair, Kai bends over and attacks Sehun’s unblemished neck with savage kisses, nipping his skin as he pleases. They are after all married, Kai supposes it gives him a free access to leave love marks wherever he wishes on Sehun’s body. A salacious moan escapes Sehun as he buries a hand in Kai’s hair, tilting his head to allow better access of his neck for Kai’s mouth to explore.

Though he realizes it is Sehun’s first time, there is little that he could do to be gentle. His hand finds Sehun’s wrist and he pins it to the pillow at a side of Sehun’s head, gripping it murderously as his lips venture Sehun’s chest and stomach. He lifts his head and musters Sehun’s body. He already looks half ruined and Kai longs to ruin him all the way. Curling an arm around Sehun’s thigh, Kai peppers the inside of it with vulgar kisses, licking and relishing the taste of his milky-white skin. Sehun turns his face away, burying a side of it in the pillow when Kai’s breath lingers on his swollen hard member.

He continues to keep his piercing gaze on Sehun and his parted lips that are begging for air as he brushes his lips on the tip of Sehun’s cock before darting his tongue out to tease the leaking slit of his cockhead. Sehun rasps out a moan, hands fisting the sheets and body arching off the bed. Straightening up, Kai turns Sehun over to lie on his stomach and mounts his back, planting hasty, wet kisses along the spine and doesn’t stop when he reaches Sehun’s tailbone. Sehun pants, gasps and lets out a muffled moan when Kai’s tongue slides between his arse cheeks and brushes the sensitive rim of muscles.

Bursting into a string of carnal moans and breaths, Sehun shoves his face harder into the pillow, on the verge of screaming as Kai tongues his opening with his hand ruthlessly gripping a side of Sehun’s arse. He smears the opening with thick spit, spreading it all over with his tongue, which prods into the hole to soften Sehun up further.

When Kai raises his head, he finds Sehun in a blushing, sobbing mess, exhaling dry moans, begging for more. Kai grabs his face and forces Sehun to turn his head so that he could kiss him full on mouth with heat and spit lubricating their lips.

“Are you sure… you want this?” Kai asks in a breathy whisper, already reaching for the bedside drawer to grab the lotion tube.

Sehun nods his head, plunging it back into the pillow. “I want you… Please.”

Kai leans forward and presses a kiss to the back of Sehun’s neck before whispering into his ear, “You’re… so… so beautiful, Sehun.” He pins his body down to Sehun’s back, a hand promptly working on slicking his cock with lotion while the other clasps over Sehun’s, intertwining their fingers with their wedding bands pressed together.

Sehun bites onto his lower lip, his moans muffled by the pillow, as Kai lines his erection between his arse cheeks and thrusts his hips up to grind against Sehun’s opening while his lips kiss the burn scars on Sehun’s shoulder blade. Kai holds Sehun down with his entire weight when he slides halfway in.

“Are you okay?” he asks, peppering Sehun’s nape with gentle kisses.

It takes Sehun a moment to reply and when he manages to breath out a response, it is only a meme whisper. “Y-yes.”

Kai thrusts all the way in and pauses for a moment for Sehun to get comfortable. But at this rate, Kai might reach his climax sooner than he’d like to. Sehun clenches around him, throbbing so beautifully, which drives Kai to the brink of orgasm with just the second thrust. Sehun’s raw, hungry moans reverberate through Kai’s body as he picks up the pace of his thrusts, pushing himself up to yank Sehun onto his knees.

A few more thrusts and the pain dissipates into pleasure, and Sehun’s cries turn into lustful moans. Kai pulls out and slams in over and over, ramming his hipbones into Sehun’s arse before he withdraws completely and turns Sehun around to lie on his back. Smashing their lips together, Kai plunges his tongue into Sehun’s mouth, swallowing his moans as he wraps his legs around Kai’s waist with sweat gluing their bodies together. A sharp gasp leaves Sehun’s lips when Kai pushes back into him.

“Kai,” Sehun pants out before Kai silences him again with his mouth, impelling Sehun without holding back. “Harder,” he gasps and as Kai drives harder and faster into him until he reaches his climax, bursting into white ropes of come on his stomach.

“Fuck,” Kai hisses and breaks the kiss to grab Sehun’s hands. Gripping them monstrously, he pins them to the headboard above Sehun’s head with one hand and cups Sehun’s jaw with the other. “I need you to stay calm, Sehun,” he orders and Sehun instantly turns limp under him. Though Kai is used to fooling around with both Pantherinaes and mundane humans, this part is never easy for the former. With mundane humans, he always makes sure he pulls out before he could come, but he has no real idea of how it works for interbreeding Shapeshifters, except that it isn’t exactly harmful since in back in those times, Lycans and Pantherinaes did mate intermittently.

Sehun lifts his head to kiss Kai, but Kai forces him back to the pillow and latches his teeth to the crook of Sehun’s neck where it joins his shoulder. “Kai?” Sehun lets out hesitantly as Kai sinks his teeth deeper into his skin, gripping Sehun’s wrists firmly against the headboard as he starts to come. He clasps a hand over Sehun’s mouth when Sehun breaks into a sharp cry, his eyes instantly glistening with tears, which eventually roll down the corners of his eyes. When Kai replaces his hand with his mouth, Sehun lets out a struggled scream and bites Kai’s lip. Kai hisses and licks his own blood before forcefully kissing Sehun again to distract him. With a ferocious grunt, Kai comes apart inside Sehun, filling him to his prostate.

Within seconds, Sehun calms down and he sucks in a few breaths, stealing them from Kai as Kai collapses onto him after releasing Sehun’s hands. They lay still, their desperate breaths filling the sudden silence in the room.

“You all right?” Kai asks gently, a hand stroking a side of Sehun’s waist before he lifts it to wipe the tears off Sehun’s eyelashes. Sehun manages a nervous, fragile smile. “Was that so bad?”

Sehun leans forward and hides his face in Kai’s neck. “I love you,” he whispers, shuddering lightly.

 

* * *

 

When Sehun’s eyes flutter open again with a side of his face pressed into the pillow and most of his spent body tucked under duvet, Kai smirks at him and Sehun’s cheeks instantly glow red with his strands of his hair curtaining his eyes.

“How long have you been staring at me like that?” Sehun asks in a sleepy, small voice as the subtle morning sunlight pours through window behind him.

“Since you fell asleep last night,” Kai curls an arm around Sehun’s body and hauls him closer. Sehun winces and Kai stops short, frowning at his husband. “Does it… hurt?”

Sehun licks his lips, drawing in a couple of steady breaths. “You do it like a monster, you know,” he whispers, keeping his gaze low.

“I hope that’s a compliment,” Kai carefully leans in and presses a kiss to Sehun’s lips. “I’m sorry if I really did hurt you. It’s just how I—”

“It’s fine, Kai,” Sehun mutters, the corners of his lips tugging into a smile. “I… will do it… over and over again… if it was with you.”

Kai brushes his lips on Sehun’s forehead. “Now, do you want to tell me what you’re doing here? Not that I’m complaining, but I need to know if I have to prepare in case your brother is heading over here to burn my manor down.”

Sehun snuggles closer and fingers Kai’s hair, brushing a lock out of his temple. “I told him… I cannot stay there for as long as he’s holding a grudge against you.”

“Do you think you made a good decision?” Kai mutters, skimming the bite mark on Sehun’s neck with his fingertips.

“Do you need to ask?”

Kai grins and pulls Sehun into a kiss. “Don’t leave again, then.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Good. I’ll go crazy alone in this house when Jongin leaves.”

Sehun props himself up on his elbow and blinks at Kai in confusion. “When Jongin _leaves_?”

“Yeah,” Kai sighs. “He is leaving tonight. To stay with our mother for a while.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“He didn’t tell a lot of people, Sehun.” Kai wonders if he should tell Sehun about Jongin and Adrian, but decides it can wait. It isn’t his secret to share, even though he isn’t sure he is supposed to keep secrets from his husband.

“When will he… come back?” Sehun asks with a frown on his brows.

“I’m not sure. I think it’ll be a nice change for him, though.”

Sehun worries his lip, lost in his own thoughts for a moment. Kai exhales heavily and pins Sehun back onto the bed, climbing above him. “Kai,” Sehun mildly protests, blushing pink again.

“Want to go another round?” Kai purrs, dragging his lips up Sehun’s neck.

“Kai,” Sehun mewls and digs his fingernails into Kai’s back.

“I’ll be gentler this time.”

“No,” Sehun breathes out against Kai’s lips. “I don’t want you to be gentler.”

“Whoa. You keep surprising me.”


	30. Chapter 30

“Wake up, beautiful,” Kai murmurs, brushing his lips to Sehun’s eye before dragging them down to Sehun’s lips to wake him up with a kiss. Sehun whimpers and stirs, tugging at the duvet as he cracks an eye open. Kai greets him with a smile and another kiss on the dry lips.

“What time… is it?” Sehun inquires, rubbing an eye with the back of his hand.

“A little past five.”

“In the evening?” he rasps lightly and blinks at Kai in surprise.

Kai shrugs, brushing Sehun’s hair out of his face and cups his cheek before stroking Sehun’s lip with his thumb. “Well, I’d let you stay in bed all day, but Jongin’s leaving soon. I thought you might want to say goodbye and I don’t plan on letting anyone in here for the next few days. But Chanyeol and Baekhyun are here, so I doubt I could keep their nosy arses out of here for long.”

“What is this?” Sehun asks, eyeing the food tray on the bedside table as he pushes himself up to lean against the headboard.

“Oh. You haven’t eaten anything.”

Sehun’s lips strain to hide the smirk that starts to creep onto his face.

Kai rolls his eyes. “Can you try to refrain yourself from grinning any more obvious? I thought you might be hungry.”

Sehun coughs and smiles at Kai. “So, you went to the trouble to make me pancakes?”

Kai pops a slice of strawberry into his mouth. “It’s one of the few things I can make.”

“They look a little burned.”

“Shut up! I almost burned my finger!” Kai shoves the plate onto Sehun’s lap as Sehun stifles a chuckle. “I know this awesome pancake joke. How do you make a pancake smile?” Kai grins from ear to ear, waiting for an answer, but Sehun only stares at him vacantly. “You butter him up.”

Sehun continues to stare at him, unimpressed.

Kai sighs and shrugs. “Tough crowd,” he mumbles under his breath.

“That’s the best you can do?” Sehun smirks, forking a piece of pancake into his mouth.

“Okay, fine. I’m not funny or smart.”

“Which you make up for in every other aspect.”

Kai couldn’t help a smile. “I decided that I like you complimenting me.”

“Oh, you’re not used to compliments?”

Kai licks his lips, hanging his head. “Well, no.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he sighs. “I… I’m not exactly everyone’s favourite, you know. A while back, I had problems with my temper, I had… mommy issues… as well as daddy issues. I was a rebel and I did all sorts of shitty stuff to everyone around me.”

“You never talk about your dad,” Sehun says, frowning faintly. “Jongin never talks about him, too.”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about,” he sucks in a heavy breath. “I… wish to be better father than my dad. Way better father. As I grew up, I understood that the best way to be a good dad is… just showing up ninety per cent of the time. Be there for your kids. It’s not rocket science.”

“I’m sorry,” Sehun whispers, bringing a hand to Kai’s arm. “And don’t worry. You’ll be a wonderful father.”

“You don’t know that, Sehun,” Kai mutters and rubs his temples. “For all that I know, I could screw up like my father and my kid would end up hating me for life. Maybe I don’t want a child. Not anytime soon, at least. Kids are complicated. One wrong move and everything spirals out of control.”

Sehun retrieves his hand and lowers his gaze, aimlessly staring at the pancakes. “What if,” he starts after a moment of silence. “I wanted kids?”

Kai’s heart skips a beat. He hasn’t thought much about having children this soon when his romance with Sehun has practically _just_ started. Besides, why would Sehun want to ruin everything they are building by diverting all that energy onto a child? “Well, I hope you don’t. Because we don’t need this, Sehun. Especially not when we… just started to live as a couple, you know?”

Sehun keeps mum, but the colour in his face drains palpably. “This… is not half bad,” Sehun says after a while. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Kai ruffles Sehun’s hair and when Sehun brings a slice of strawberry to his mouth, Kai steals it right from his lips, pressing a ghost of a kiss in the process. “Now, I have an idea on how to coax your brother into forgiving us.”

Sehun arches an eyebrow. “How?”

“Well, not exactly forgive us, but he’ll at least be forced to go easy on us. I promise, I will make everything better between you and your brother.” He leans forward and plants a kiss onto the bite bruise on Sehun’s neck.

“Kai?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we… move?”

Kai lifts his head and blinks at his husband. “What?”

“Not now… but sometime in the future,” Sehun implores in a soft voice. “I don’t… This manor brings back too many memories and… I want to start everything anew. With you.”

Kai contemplates the appeal for a length. “If that’s what you want, then of course, Sehun,” he says, smiling. “That’s a good idea, too. This place brings back a lot of bad memories for me, too.”

Colour returns to Sehun’s face and he resumes with his late brunch with a smile on his face. “What goes up but never comes down?” Sehun asks out of the blue.

Kai gawks at him before leaning in to Sehun’s ear with a scoff. “My little friend in my pants whenever you’re around,” he whispers and earns a hard shove on the chest.

“Get out of here, Kai,” Sehun mutters with his cheeks reddening ferociously.

 

* * *

 

“Do you really have to leave?” Sehun whines, clinging onto Jongin’s arm as Kai loads the hackney cab’s trunk with Jongin’s luggage with Chanyeol and the cabbie’s aid.

Jongin only smiles as a response before pulling Sehun into a warm embrace. “Take care of yourself and Kai.”

“I will,” Sehun sighs, blinking the tears away. He isn’t sure why the thought of Jongin leaving hurts his chest. Perhaps it is the fear of Jongin never returning. Sehun loves Jongin, as a friend, as a brother, as a comfort, but now that it has become clear that he loves Kai in an entirely different way, Sehun believes he has started to care for Jongin in a way he never has. Jongin is truly his family now, in all sense. Not to mention he is a copy of Kai, only much kinder, much gentler. “You will be back, won’t you?” he asks in a whisper as Jongin draws back from the hug.

“Of course, Sehun. I just… need a break.”

Sehun nods his head. “There’s… something different about you. A good difference,” he quickly amends. “You seem… happier somehow.”

“I guess I am happier,” Jongin mutters, dropping his gaze. “But I’m happiest for you and Kai. I’m glad you came back, Sehun.”

“There!” Baekhyun rasps as he rushes outside with a container. “Cupcakes. For you to nibble on the way.”

“You didn’t have to, Baekhyun,” Jongin lets out, accepting the container nevertheless.

“It’s nothing.”

Jongin throws his arms over Baekhyun to give him a hug. “I hope when I return, it will be for your wedding.”

“You can count on that,” Baekhyun chimes, pecking on Jongin’s cheek.

Jongin mutters his goodbyes with a faint smile and walks over to Chanyeol to pin him with a hug before turning to his brother. “How did you get that again?” Kai asks sceptically, pointing to the fading bruise on Jongin’s jaw.

“I told you. I fell,” Jongin lies and Sehun tries to hide the frown that snakes onto his eyebrows. “Well, I shouldn’t keep the man waiting.”

Kai smiles, hauling his brother for a rough embrace. “Be safe. And eat a lot of pretzels, you knucklehead. Say hi to Mom for me.”

“Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone,” Jongin sighs and pulls back to face everyone else for one last time. “Happy New Year, guys.” With that, he climbs into the cab and Kai walks up to Sehun’s side before awkwardly sliding an arm around his waist. Sehun helplessly smiles at his husband. This is new. Everything is new for him now. And he wishes he’ll never get used to this feeling.

“Bet you five dimes he’ll return with a hot city boyfriend,” Chanyeol says at the cab disappears from their sight.

“Five dimes?” Kai snorts. “Why are you such a cheapo?”

“Hey. Not all of us are heirs to a mighty fortune and a huge arse manor, okay?”

“You drive a Maserati, Chanyeol. Nobody’s buying that act,” Baekhyun spits and pulls away from his boyfriend to saunter back into the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll be fast-forwarding in the next chapter! Like about 5-6 months.


	31. Chapter 31

_Six and a half months later…_

“Sehun, put some muscle into it,” Kai grumbles, shifting uncomfortably in his chair as he goes through the rest of the online brochures.

“This is as hard as I can, Kai,” Sehun lets out in exhaustion and squeezes Kai’s shoulders harder before sliding his fingers into his husband’s hair to massage his scalp.

Kai exhales a moan, leaning his head back and into Sehun’s touch. “God, that’s… good.”

Sehun lowers his hands back to Kai’s taut shoulders and kneads them firmly, pressing his thumbs to the nape of Kai’s neck. “Oh, go back,” Sehun rasps and Kai returns to the page he was browsing a second ago.

“You like this house?” Kai says, surveying the details of the house. “It’s several miles away from Harvington.”

“That’s good, right?”

“I don’t really mind, Sehun. I want you to choose whichever that appeals to you and we’ll give the house a tour one of these days.”

Sehun gently cards his fingers through Kai’s hair. “Have I told you how much of a gentleman you are nowadays?”

Kai grabs Sehun’s arm and yanks him to the front, causing Sehun to fall butt-on onto his lap. Before Sehun could recover or retaliate, Kai locks his arms around him and attacks his lips with forceful kisses. “Only because you take such good care of me,” he mumbles into Sehun’s giggling mouth and kisses him harder.

“Let go,” Sehun grunts and pulls himself off Kai’s lap. It still strikes Kai dumb that Sehun manages to blush so deeply even after half a year of having lived as a proper married couple. Of course, Kai’s surprise is reasonable, considering the countless times he has dragged Sehun into their bedroom to ravage him each day. “When do you want to go get the wedding present?”

Kai rises from his seat and latches his hands on Sehun’s hips, closing the distance between them. Pressing a kiss to the side of Sehun’s neck, he purrs, “We still have a couple of hours. How about we head to the room and—”

“Kai, I’m still… sore from last night,” Sehun says in a low voice, though his hands are already reaching up to grip Kai’s hair as his breathing responds in favour to Kai’s sloppy kisses. “And I want to talk to you about s—”

“But we only did it twice,” Kai whines, dragging his lips up Sehun’s cheek.

“I’m starting to think that you’re a sex addict like your cousin,” Sehun sighs and wraps his arms around Kai, staggering a few steps back until he is pressed against a bookshelf in the drawing room.

Kai isn’t going to complain about Sehun getting more comfortable with using the word ‘sex’, but it would be nicer if Sehun could get more comfortable with the actual thing. He can’t blame him. It is painful for him, but he reacts a lot better to it nowadays than he did in the beginning.

Sehun shudders against him when Kai claims his lips, cupping his face with both hands. “I’m not,” Kai mumbles, licking along Sehun’s upper lip. “But I have _you_ to blame for the vulgar man I’ve become.”

“ _Me_?”

“Your scent,” he mewls, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Sehun’s neck.

“My… scent?”

“I usually don’t like how Lycans smell. But you… oh, you,” he exhales heavily and drags the tip of his tongue up the protruding vein on the side of Sehun’s neck. “Also the way you blush and moan. God,” he grabs hold of Sehun’s hand and directs it to his crotch. “Take responsibility, Sehun.”

“Here?”

“Here.”

Sehun’s hands fly up to grip Kai’s shoulders and with single move, he has Kai rammed up against the bookcase. “I really can’t… but,” he lowers to his knees and starts to fumble with the fly of Kai’s pants. Then with a tug, he yanks the pants down, enough to release the arching, thick cock.

“Sometimes, I forget that we’re married. It feels like I’m doing all sorts of dirty stuff with my forbidden lover,” Kai sighs and buries a hand in Sehun’s hair as Sehun fists his cock, slowly pumping it to ecstasy. “It’s a thrill, actually. But when you think about it, you kind of are my forbidden lover, thanks to your headstrong brother, who still won’t budge. Oh, you know the ‘ _friend_ ’ I told you about? He said he’ll be visiting around next week. I know you said maybe we should just let Adrian be since he hasn’t done anything to us yet, but he’s your brother, Sehun. And I know you love him, so I have to do this. And this might make your brother mad—why did you stop?” he blinks, staring down at Sehun, who is glowering at him.

“Do you really want to be talking about my brother _now_? If you’re so in love with him, why don’t you go marry _him_?”

Kai lets out a nervous laugh. “Me… in love… with your brother? You’re very funny, Sehun.”

“Everyone knows you’ve got a fat crush on him, Kai.”

“How many times must I tell you? It’s resp—fuck!” he slams his head back against the shelf when Sehun’s warm lips brush the tip of his cock before he tongues the slit, driving Kai’s senses over the edge, and sinks in. “Jesus Christ, Sehun,” Kai rasps, clutching Sehun’s hair as his warm cavern smears his cock with a feverous heat and spit. “God, you’re getting better at this,” he lets out breathlessly.

“I learn from the best,” Sehun mumbles, pulling back to circle the tip of his tongue along Kai’s cockhead.

“Well, you’re a fast learner,” Kai grabs Sehun’s face and hauls him up to his feet to kiss him all on mouth. “You said you’re sore?” he breathes out between kisses, hastily stumbling towards the desk. “Show me where, so that I can make you feel better.”

Hoisting Sehun up onto the desk, Kai shoves the lamp, books, and paperweights out of the way before desperately ripping Sehun’s shirt off. “Kai,” Sehun gasps when Kai latches his mouth to one of his rosy nipples and flicks it with his tongue. Giving it a gentle suck, Kai pulls his lips down the fleshy planes of Sehun’s body. He hasn’t missed the fact that Sehun has put on a considerable amount of weight in the past few weeks, but he looks much, much better now. Much healthier, now that he isn’t all skin and bones. Though Kai isn’t exactly sure if Sehun is completely healthy. He has seen Sehun throw up twice in the past three weeks and has a horrible reaction to some food due to food poisoning. At least that’s what Sehun told him upon returning from the Dr Heath’s office.

“Is this okay?” Kai asks in a breathy whisper as he throws Sehun’s legs over his shoulders after stripping him off his pants.

“Y-yes,” Sehun lets out and bites his lip, hand finding Kai’s hair to clench as Kai sinks lower to lick the spot between his balls and opening, slowly venturing further to his sore, tender opening. “Oh, God… Kai, ah!” he cries when Kai tongues the burning muscles.

Then kissing up Sehun’s thigh, Kai leans forward to connect their lips together in a feral kiss, all tongue and teeth. He presses himself between Sehun’s legs and starts to grind their cocks together, slamming his hipbones against Sehun’s.

Kai couldn’t help a chuckle as they pause to come down from their high, lying on top of Sehun in an awkward position atop the desk. “See? That was fun, wasn’t it?”

“I’m going to hell because of you,” Sehun pants and yanks Kai down by the neck for a kiss. He settles his head on Sehun’s chest for a moment to catch his breath as Sehun aimlessly plays with his hair.

“I don’t have a crush on your brother, by the way.”

“Uh-huh.”

“No, seriously. It’s just that…” he heaves a sigh. “I guess I just realized that I can’t give up on him because he… reminds me of my dad.”

“Seems like Baekhyun isn’t the only one that has kinky fantasies about my brother.”

Kai lifts his head to scowl at Sehun. “I’m trying to have a moment here, Sehun.”

“Okay, sorry. Go ahead.”

“Thank you,” he drops his head back on his husband’s chest. “My dad was… so much like him. I got my temper from him, you know. That’s why my mom hates me so. Jongin is like her, but only… nicer. My parents… their relationship was… toxic. Even after my dad left us, he kept coming back into our lives, making all of us more and more miserable, especially me and my mom. Some days, he’d just show up and start hitting us, attacking us… threatening us. It’s because of his anger and none of us knows where all that rage came from. For a very long time, I was afraid that I’m going to end up like him. That I _am_ him. Trust me. Compared to him, we have a far better deal with Adrian. Right now, your brother is just channelling all the anger and regret and grief onto us. In a few years, you’ll never know, he might actually end up like my father. It’s a problem for most of us high echelon Shapeshifters.”

Kai wouldn’t deny that he is aggrieved at Adrian for dragging Jongin into their feud, but a part of him believes that whatever that Adrian had felt for Jongin was genuine and it was an aspect of Jongin’s life Kai knows not to meddle with.

“So, you want to help him?”

Kai raises his head to meet Sehun’s gaze. “No. I want to help myself through fixing him. After all, I sort of had a hand to play in what he’s going through right now. And he hasn’t killed us yet. So maybe he still cares for you. He’s your brother and I don’t want you to lose your family again.”

Sehun smiles and props himself up on his elbows to press a kiss to Kai’s lips. “Thank you, Kai,” he whispers, bringing their foreheads together. “Thank you for doing this.”

They freeze in each other’s arms the instant they hear the doorbell chime, echoing through the manor. Kai’s eyebrows furrow as Sehun blinks blankly.

“Is that Chanyeol?” Sehun asks as Kai scurries off of him and zips his pants up before tossing Sehun his sweatpants.

“I don’t think so. He should be really busy with the wedding preparation. Unless Baekhyun called it off,” he mutters as he hurries out of the drawing room, running his hands through his hair to neaten it. Neither Chanyeol nor Baekhyun has visited the manor since the last time they were here to hand Sehun and Kai their wedding invitation, which was, by the way, awfully showy and loud—like their relationship. The only person Kai is expecting is Julien, but he isn’t to show up until next week, the earliest.

But as he edges closer to the door, the scent begins to fill his nose. It is familiar, but not familiar enough for him recognize it. The scent is wrapped by a completely foreign scent, which Kai could not identify to be a Pantherinae or a Lycan’s. He balls a hand into fist as he rips the door open and his heart almost leaps out of his chest.

“Jongin!” he gasps, his eyes bulging out and jaw falling to the ground.

“Hey,” Jongin says, grinning from ear to ear with his cheeks glowing pink like a flower blooming in spring.

“Holy hell,” Kai lets out and pounces onto his brother, engulfing him in a ferocious embrace. “I didn’t think you’d come!”

“Well, how will I miss the day Baekhyun and Chanyeol tie the knot for good?” Jongin chuckles and draws back from the hug, smiling so genuinely happy that it takes Kai’s breath away.

“What the hell happened to you?” Kai rasps, scanning his brother from top to toe. “Did Mom get you an extreme makeover or something?”

Jongin frowns. “I got a haircut, Kai.”

Kai stares at the huge black coat and oversized shirt Jongin is clad in. “And some clothes from a store for trolls? And why are you so skinny?” he grabs Jongin’s bag and lugs it into the manor.

“Jongin?!” Sehun cries as he surges into the hallway and shoves Kai aside to enfold Jongin in his arms. “You’re home!”

“Not really,” Jongin chortles. “I’m just here for the wedding, as promised. I’m going back right after that.”

“Wow. You must really love Mom’s company,” Kai mutters, refraining himself from rolling his eyes.

“She’s not that bad, Kai,” Jongin sighs. “I actually… do love it. And oh, the city, too.”

“Yeah, you must love it so much, you couldn’t find the time to make a phone call.”

Jongin looks guilt-stricken for a second, tightening his coat around him. “I’m sorry about that, but… I was with Mom and I don’t know… I just really didn’t feel like talking to anyone. No excuses. But I’m sorry.”

“Well, I’m glad you love living in the city. And Mom,” Kai forces a grin, giving his brother another warm hug. “You must be really tired.”

“So tired,” he breathes out, smiling at Sehun. “You two are happy?”

Sehun blushes at once, exchanging a shy glance with Kai. “Very happy,” he mutters after a moment.

“What about you?” Kai asks as he ushers Jongin into the eastern drawing room, instead of the western where he and Sehun have just made a mess of things.

“Am I happy?” Jongin says, taking his seat on the chaise lounge. “I think I am. Mom takes really good care of me. We scout around for new restaurants and cafés to try almost every night when she’s back from work. We went to see a musical last week. We go shopping, though it’s not one of my most favourite activities because, God, she makes me try on fifty different outfits each time. And when we come home, most nights, we just watch… old movies and stuff. Catch up on what we missed for years.” Kai lowers his gaze, swallowing hard as he leans against the desk, crossing his arms over his chest. He isn’t surprised that his mother showers Jongin with so much love and affection. But still, it hurts a little. “She also makes sure I eat healthy and always goes with me to my check-ups at the hospital. I recently discovered a newfound love for steak and mango sauce, and she has been trying so hard to perfect her cooking so that she could make it for me.”

“Wait,” Sehun interrupts him. “Why do you have check-ups at the hospital?”

Jongin presses his lips into a thin, strained smile. “I’ve… got news for you, but… I need you to keep it a secret. I don’t want to steal the show from Chanyeol and Baekhyun. It should be all about them.”

Kai frowns and pulls himself away from the desk. “Jongin… what are you talking about?” he demands impatiently.

Sucking in an audible breath, Jongin rises to his feet and pulls his coat off before gently patting on his slightly bloated belly. Then smiling, he says, “You’re going to be an uncle, Kai.”

Kai’s ears ring as his throat tightens with fire. “Wh-what?” he breathes out. “Y-y-you’re…”

“Yes, Kai, I am.”

“H-how? You’re… you’re supposed to be infertile.”

“Kai,” Sehun hisses as he shoots up to his feet and rushes over to Jongin’s side to hug him. “This is such a happy news, Jongin,” he says, his eyes glimmering with tears. Kai could only gawk at his brother, who is frowning miserably at him as his smile fades into sadness.

“Kai?” he calls as Sehun pulls away. “Why… don’t you look happy?”

“How many months?” Kai spits through his teeth, hands clenched into fists.

Jongin hesitates to answer for a moment. “About… six months now.”

Kai drops his scowl to Jongin’s baby bump. “Six months? Why is it so small?”

“Kai!” Sehun yaps, pinning him with a disappointed glare.

About six months. Which means Jongin was pregnant when he left here. Which means… it’s Adrian’s.

Jongin lowers his eyes, face completely wilting. “He’s… small because I’m weak. Are you happy?” he mutters without looking up at Kai.

Kai clenches his jaw. “Happy? How can anyone be happy about this, Jongin?! Who the hell is the father, then?”

“Oh, my God, Kai. What is wrong with you?” Sehun snaps, walking over to Kai, but Kai stops him with a hand and shakes his head.

“I need to be alone for a moment,” with that, Kai storms out of the drawing room.

 

* * *

 

The chirps never die even as the stars climb up to the sky. The spring’s cold wind is crisp, but it has lost its wintry bite. Sehun lets the wind card through the strands of his hair for a moment as he silently watches Kai, who has been staring into the horizon for hours on the balcony.

Kai lets out a sigh and turns his head halfway around. “How long are you going to stand there? If you’re here to lecture me on my _behaviour_ , save it, Sehun.”

Sehun steps out onto the balcony and leans over the railing beside his husband. “Why did you… say that to him?” he asks with his heart sinking further into his stomach.

“I just… know more stuff than you do, Sehun. I can’t figure out why the fuck would Jongin want this.”

“This isn’t your life, Kai. It’s his. And he gets to decide what to do with it. Whoever’s baby it might be, he wants to keep it and it’s none of our business. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I have never seen him happier.”

Kai grips his jaw and faces Sehun with a scowl. “He’s my brother. It _is_ my business when it concerns his welfare, Sehun.”

“Why are you getting so worked up? Is it the fact that he’s going to be struggling or is it because you’re not comfortable with him having a baby?”

“He’s going to get his life ruined!” he barks and Sehun retreats a step with tears threatening his eyes. “How many Pantherinaes out there will accept an impotent Shapeshifter _with_ a bloody child?! Jongin might think this is good for him, but in the long run, he is going to suffer and the child will only make him even more miserable!”

“You… don’t… know that,” Sehun lets out shakily, fisting his hands so tight that his fingernails start to penetrate his palms.

“What about the father of that child? What does he think? Because he would fucking be here if he cared about Jongin in the first place, don’t you think?! And Jongin knows this. What is wrong with him?!”

“What is your solution, then?” Sehun asks with a tear rolling down his cheek. “He should have gotten rid of the baby?”

“Yes! God!” he plants his head in his hands with his elbows placed on top of the railing.

Sehun’s hand unconsciously climbs up to clench his shirt by the stomach. Swallowing the sob blocking his windpipe, he says, in the tiniest voice, “I didn’t go to see the doctor last week because of food poisoning.” Kai lifts his head and stares at Sehun with confusion etched to his knotted brows. “I’m… three months along,” he drops his head, shedding his tears to the ground. “I had to… go to the ultrasound alone because I was too scared to tell you. I will… abort the babies if you don’t want them. I have no one but you… I guess I don’t even have any option.” He sniffles and wipes the tears off his cheeks, without lifting his head as he doesn’t dare to muster the disappointment in Kai’s face. “I’m pregnant, Kai. And… it’s… it’s… triplets. I don’t think I will be able to do it on my own, so if you don’t want these babies, I will get rid of them.” He doesn’t wait for Kai’s immediate response as he turns on his heel and hurries back inside, muffling his cries behind his hand.


	32. Chapter 32

When he finds Sehun in his old room with his knees pulled up to his chest, he sucks in a breath and walks in. Sehun does not look up at him as he continues to stare at nothing. His reddened and swollen eyes sent a pang to Kai’s heart. He isn’t sure if he has become such a sappy person, but the worst torture in this world for him is seeing Sehun cry. He never used to be such a sentimental sob, but Sehun has changed him in ways he never thought he could change.

Sehun keeps mum when Kai takes a seat on the edge of the bed and lets out a sigh, hanging his head. The silence continues to stretch between them for a moment.

“How could you just… spring that on me out of nowhere and run away before you could give me a chance to say something?” Kai says in a low murmur without raising his head. “You… didn’t tell me… because you were… scared,” he exhales, shutting his eyes. It hurts. This is supposed to be a joyous moment for them both, but Sehun must think Kai that spiteful to want to kill his own baby… babies that he hid it from him all this while. It hurts so bad. “Why, Sehun? Why were you scared?” he asks, lifting his head to look at his silently weeping husband. “Because I’d ask you to get an abortion? Because I’d start pushing you away if you don’t get one? Do you really think of me that way?”

“No, Kai,” Sehun lets out, grabbing onto Kai’s arm. “But you’re not ready. And I don’t think I am either. But these are… lives that… we made. They’re… already a part of me. I was scared of the situation where I’d have to choose between you and them. And I’d choose you,” he whispers. “You kept saying… you don’t want children.”

“I didn’t say I don’t ever want children, Sehun. I just don’t want them now. We used protection all the time, didn’t we?”

It is an insensitive question, but Sehun answers it, anyway. “We didn’t use any the first time or that time in the pool.”

Kai licks his lips, nodding his head. “Right.”

“Kai, this is a bad time, I know. Especially with Jongin expecting as well. You don’t want him to have a baby either.”

“ _Either_? Sehun, Jongin’s circumstance is completely different. We’re married. He isn’t. And I have a strong feeling he’s carrying a hybrid, too,” he groans, grinding his teeth.

Sehun frowns. “Why… would you say that?”

“It’s not important right now. What’s important is you. You could have told me sooner, Sehun.”

“You’re not happy about it.”

“No, I’m not! I’m terrified!” Kai cries with complete honesty. “But I’m not mad, Sehun. I’m not disappointed. I’m just… a little confused. And triplets? Are you sure?”

“I have a picture of them from the ultrasound if you want to see,” he says, smiling sadly.

“God,” Kai plants his head in his hands. “I don’t even know how to handle one, let alone three all at once.”

“You’re not a single father, you know,” Sehun mutters under his breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed the worst.”

“I know what it feels like to be unwanted, Sehun. I’m not going to do that to my own children. Like it or not, you’re in this position because of me and I should take responsibility.”

“I don’t want you to take responsibility,” he says, sliding his hand into Kai’s palm. “I want you to be a loving father. And I know it might difficult for you, but it is even more difficult for me, Kai. We have to be strong for each other and the babies.”

“I don’t know shit about parenthood, though,” he sighs and shakes his head dejectedly.

“Well, you did say what makes the best dad is just showing up ninety per cent of the time. And I have faith in you.”

Kai smiles faintly, lowering his gaze to Sehun’s hand in his. “I’ve changed, Sehun. A lot. And to be honest, I think I will change even more in the future. I already have ‘Sehun’ written all over me. It’s a big responsibility, but I promise you, I will try my best.”

Sehun leans in and gently kisses Kai on the lips. “That is all I need,” he breathes against his mouth, pressing their foreheads together.

“I’m just… so new to this.”

“I haven’t exactly had twenty babies before this, Kai,” Sehun sighs and draws back. “This is new for me, too. I’m going to get fat. Ridiculously fat. I probably won’t be able to walk in a few months. I’m going to be sick all the time.”

“I will love you even if you put on a tonne. You don’t have to walk, I’ll carry you everywhere and I’m going to be here when you’re sick, Sehun,” Kai mutters, pressing a kiss to Sehun’s forehead. “I might not love the idea of having children just yet, but I love _you_. How will I not love the little nuggets I made with you?”

Sehun rests his head on Kai’s shoulder as Kai wraps his arms around him. “Speaking of nuggets, I really want some.”

“Oh, god. Is that why we’re always out of pickles these days? You have cravings?”

“So many of them. But I was worried you’d find me weird if I asked you to get them for me. Poor Jongin… I can’t even imagine the hardship he’s going through,” he says and pulls back to face Kai. “He would want you by his side at a time like this, Kai. I understand you care for him, but he wants to have this baby. He is happy. Why can’t you be happy for him? We’re all here for him and the child. He doesn’t need a life partner for that. And honestly, the person that wants to be with him should accept him for who he is and not judge him based on his parental and virginity statuses. He must be heartbroken hearing you say that, Kai. _I_ was horrified by your reaction. Imagine him. Please, go talk to him.”

Kai rubs his forehead, realizing that Sehun is right. He was unbelievably harsh on Jongin. “You’re right. I should go talk to him.”

“And can you… promise that you won’t yell at him again?”

“I promise,” he whispers, brushing his lips on Sehun’s forehead. He couldn’t help giving Sehun’s stomach a glance when he pulls away. Licking his lips, he stares at the belly for a minute, fighting the urge to touch it. He has touched it, of course. Many a time. But it suddenly feels strange, considering there are _three_ babies growing in there. Three.

“What are you thinking?” Sehun asks after a moment, tilting his head to the side.

“You don’t want to know,” Kai exhales without tearing his gaze from Sehun’s stomach.

“Are you… thinking what I’m thinking?”

“I highly doubt it,” he mutters, focusing harder on the belly.

“Tell me.”

“We should name them Moe, Larry and Curly. Or Huey, Dewey and Louie.”

Sehun’s expression instantly hardens into a furious scowl. “You want to name our children after the Three Stooges and cartoon ducks?”

Kai blinks blankly. “It will be fun, don’t you think?” he asks in a serious tone. It would really be fun, though. And cute.

“No, it won’t, Kai,” he spits and turns his face away from Kai. “You should go and talk to Jongin now.”

“Right,” Kai nods and rises to his feet at once. He pauses at the door to look back at Sehun. “What about the Bee Gees? It’ll be ironic because they’re trying to ‘ _stayin’ alive’_ right now,” Kai laughs at his own humour, but Sehun gawks at him in both shock and disgust. “Okay,” he sighs defeatedly and exits the room.

He doesn’t make it all the way to Jongin’s room when he spots Jongin at the bottom of the staircase, dragging his luggage towards the front door.

“Jongin?” Kai calls, hurrying down to stairs.

Jongin heaves a sigh when he turns around to face his brother. “I’ll get a motel, Kai,” he says.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t think… it’s the best idea for me to stay here,” he mutters, his face has gone ashen and his eyes are palpably tired.

“I think we need to talk,” Kai says, gripping Jongin’s arm. “Tell me,” he demands in a very low voice. “Is it Adrian’s?”

Jongin’s silence and hurt look say it all. Kai releases his arm and refrains himself from punching a wall.

“Why, Jongin?” he exhales exasperatedly. “Why do you want to keep his child after all that he’s done to you?”

“Because the baby has done nothing wrong. Adrian and I were over before we even started. There is nothing left for us. Adrian doesn’t need to know that this is his baby. I can raise him on my own.”

“And mother supports you on this?”

“She knows a thing or two about raising kids on her own,” Jongin says defensively. “You can loathe me all you want, Kai. But there’s nothing I can do now about the baby. He’s mine and I’m keeping him.”

Kai grips his jaw. “All right, Jongin. All right. Fine. But what did you mean when you said he’s small because you’re _weak_?”

Jongin swallows and looks away for a second before saying, “I am struggling, Kai.” His voice is so low that Kai barely heard it. “It’s… hard. The pregnancy is difficult. But I have come this far. He’s healthy. That’s all that matters. Please, don’t push either of us away.”

“Oh, Jongin,” Kai pulls his brother into a gentle embrace. “I’m sorry. I don’t hate you. Or the baby. I should have sounded more supportive. I just… I don’t want to see you suffer more in your life.”

“I’m not suffering,” Jongin says, withdrawing from his arms. “I’ve never been happier. Through all the pain and fatigue, by the end of the day, I know I’m contributing to a life. He’s my baby. I want him.”

Kai presses his lips into a thin smile and bows his head. “Well, then… With Chanyeol and Baekhyun going on their honeymoon as well, I guess this place is going to be a playground for toddlers pretty soon.”

“Huh?”

“Sehun’s pregnant. With triplets.”

Jongin blinks as his eyebrows rise in astonishment. “Now I feel sorry for _you_.”


	33. Chapter 33

It is a backyard wedding. But there is nothing subtle about it. Almost every Pantherinae in Harvington is present. A burst of white roses and baby breaths adorns every corner of the venue. It is truly a spring wedding in every sense of the season. It almost looks like a wedding taken straight out of a fantasy novel. Under the arch, Chanyeol, clad in a white suit, holds Baekhyun’s hands as though he never plans to let them go. The faintest of smiles blooms on Baekhyun’s lips as he starts to utter his vows. The first thought that pops into Jongin’s mind is that they are so in love. The second, however, hurts his chest. He will never have this. He isn’t meant for this sort of love that Chanyeol and Baekhyun share with each other. He would not be getting married or saying his vows with the man of his dreams. He slides a hand under the oversized coat to rest it on his baby bump. He is also awfully tired and sleepy since the baby kept him up by kicking him all through last night.

Jongin’s eyes flit to Sehun and Kai on the other side of the bench. Kai whispers something into Sehun’s ear and earns himself Sehun’s harsh backhand on his face. Pouting, Kai rubs his cheek and turns his attention back to the grooms of the day.

Kai will make a fine father, Jongin thinks. Three is a big number, but it is quite common among Pantherinaes and Lycans to have more than one offspring. Jongin believes that Kai would manage just fine.

“Baekhyun, do you take Chanyeol to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the officiant asks.

“I do,” Baekhyun mutters.

“Then, Chanyeol. Do you take Baekhyun to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

Chanyeol grapples Baekhyun’s waist and yanks him close. “I fucking do,” he doesn’t wait for the marriage officiant to tell them to kiss and lunges for Baekhyun’s lips desperately.

“I now pronounce you spouses for life,” the officiant sighs.

Flower petals are sprung in the air and everyone shoots up to their feet to cheer the newly married couple. Baekhyun pulls back from the kiss to address his parents with a teary-eyed smile.

The reception resembles a grand garden party. The amount of flowers makes Jongin nauseous and so does the smell of the assortment of fishes. He has stopped consuming seafood several months ago. He is only comfortable with meat now, thanks to the little hybrid in his tummy that is part Lycan. Probably mostly Lycan since it craves for meat alone.

“Congratulations,” Jongin says when he approaches Baekhyun and Chanyeol to take his seat at the family table. He hands them a red envelope. “It’s a two-week trip to Musha Cay. From me and Mom. She is sorry for not being able to come today.”

“Oh, my God. Thank you, Jongin,” Baekhyun exhales, looking astonished. “And thank your mother, too! This is generous.”

“Sweet! We get to go on two honeymoon trips,” Chanyeol smirks with a blob of cream on his lip, which Baekhyun wipes off with his thumb.

“Well, to be fair, you two were on your honeymoon since the day you brought Baekhyun home and introduced him to everyone as your boyfriend. Now you just get to do it with a marriage certificate,” Chanyeol’s father, Nod, scoffs, taking a sip of the champagne.

“And this is from me and Sehun,” Kai says when he joins them with a couple of Screaming Eagle Wine bottles.

Baekhyun’s eyes bulge out. “Kai, you didn’t have to.”

“It’s a time to celebrate. So, get drunk and go fuck like rabbits in Musha Cay,” he hands Baekhyun the wine bottles. “Sorry,” Kai quickly adds when his uncles scowl at his language. Jongin shifts his weight in the chair, tugging at his coat to hide his small bump. “You okay?” his brother asks as he flumps on the chair beside him.

“Yeah. Where’s Sehun?” Jongin asks, wiping the sweat beads on his forehead.

“Toilet,” Kai whispers. “He’s been sick all morning.”

“Shouldn’t you be in there with him?”

Kai frowns. “He doesn’t like me watching him throw up. So, he shuts me outside the bathroom.”

“Well, it must be uncomfortable for him.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look horrible.”

“I’m fine. Just tired. He kicked me all night,” he sighs.

Kai looks away, grinning a little.

“Why are you _smiling_?” Jongin hisses, glaring at his insensitive brother.

“I’m just thinking about three pairs of feet kicking Sehun.”

“You’re being cruel, Kai.”

“Right. Right. Sorry,” he clears his throat and takes a bite of the salmon.

Jongin clenches his jaw. “You’re still smiling.”

“I’m sorry!” Kai laughs. “Last night, I suggested that we put collars around the babies’ necks. You know, so that we can identify which one’s which. Like how we both have different hair colours. He got mad over it. He said, ‘why not put a leash on them while you’re at it?!’ So, I said, ‘hey, that’s not a bad idea, we won’t lose them in a crowd’.”

“And then?”

Kai shrugs, chomping on the garlic bread. “I remember the bedside lamp flying at my head.”

“Ah… So, that’s what the noise was about,” Jongin mutters.

“What did you think it was about?” Kai cocks an eyebrow and Jongin pretends to busy with the unappetizing fish on his plate. “Ew!” Kai harrumphs.

“Well, can you blame me for thinking so? You can’t seem to take your hands off Sehun even when I’m around.”

“Shh. He’s coming,” Kai hisses, jerking his chin towards Sehun. “Act cool.”

Jongin rolls his eyes. “Boy, I wonder if I can manage that.”

“Hey, baby,” Kai coos, springing up to his feet to peck on Sehun’s cheek. He pulls the chair out for Sehun to take a seat. “How are you feeling now?”

Sehun shakes his head. His face is as pale as sheet. He frowns deeper at the raw food displayed before him. “I can’t eat this,” he whispers to Kai, leaning heavily against him.

“Okay. There’s cake. You’re okay with that?”

Sehun nods and Kai hurries away at once. Jongin smiles at Sehun with Kai out of the way. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Sehun asks. “Do I have something on my face?”

“No, no. Nothing. I have never seen Kai like this. That’s all.”

The corners of Sehun’s lips quirk up into half a smile. “I hope it’s a good thing.”

“It is. He will be a wonderful father. When do you plan on telling everyone?”

“I actually have no one I want to particular announce it to besides you. Kai can tell his family whenever he wants.”

Jongin swallows dryly before asking, “What about your… brother? Won’t you tell him?”

“He won’t care.”

Jongin doesn’t argue with that. If anything, Adrian might even try to hurt them if he knew. “What about Thea? And Sky.”

Sehun lowers his gaze, lost in his thoughts for a moment.

Kai returns with two plates of cake slices and hands one of them to Sehun and the other to Jongin. “I’ve noticed you look like you’re eating a slug,” he tells Jongin and ruffles Jongin’s hair before taking his seat between Sehun and his brother.

Sehun takes a single bite of the cake and gives up on it. “Kai, I want to go home,” he whines, looking genuinely exhausted.

“Actually, I’d like to get some sleep, too,” Jongin adds.

Kai stares at Sehun for a moment and then at Jongin. “Do you know how bad it’ll look if we left now?”

“I don’t care!” Sehun snaps.

“Can you just drive us home?” Jongin growls with a glare.

Kai blinks at them for a moment. “Okay,” he sighs defeatedly and stands up, fishing his car keys out of his pocket. “Come on.”

 

* * *

 

“How’s that?” Kai asks, rubbing the soles of Sehun’s feet.

“Kai, I asked you to stop minutes ago,” Sehun mumbles into the pillow, halfway into sleep.

“Oh, it’s okay. It’s no trouble. I want you to feel good.”

Sehun kicks Kai’s hands off and slaps them when they climb up his thigh. “No, I’m serious. Let me sleep!”

Kai frowns. “Are you really going to sleep?”

“Yes, Kai.”

“I’ve been massaging you for almost an hour.”

“So?”

Kai crawls over Sehun and peppers Sehun’s neck with butterfly kisses. “Are you sure you want to sleep?”

“I’m turning food into three babies, Kai. I’m so tired.”

“Maybe… this will relax you,” he purrs, sliding a hand into Sehun’s shirt to caress his waist. Sehun slaps his hand off again and starts to shove Kai off the bed.

“Go!” Sehun yaps sleepily and collapses back onto the bed. He pulls his pillow to hug it between his legs and yanks Kai’s pillow to settle his head on.

Kai juts his lower lip out, pouting at his husband. He hasn’t been able to touch Sehun for the past two days and it’s frustrating him. How does Sehun expect Kai to not to touch him or do other naughty things when he is just lying there so vulnerably beautiful, like prey offering itself up to a predator?! Kai will forever hold this against the three rascals that are making Sehun tired all the time.

Frowning heavily, Kai exits the room after turning the lights off. He has been running errands all day for Sehun and Jongin, from fetching water to changing the TV channels, cooking for them, making sure they take their supplements.

“Hey,” he says, knocking on the opened door. Jongin looks up at him from the book his nose was buried in.

“Hey.”

“Sehun took my pillow, the entire bed and kicked me out,” he sighs, entering Jongin’s room. He drops heavily on the edge of Jongin’s bed.

“Wait until you’ve got three more Sehuns,” Jongin scoffs. “You’d be sleeping in the closet under the staircase.”

“Stop,” he hits Jongin on his knee. “It might not be that bad.”

“You do know Sehun’s going to make you do all the diaper-changing, right?”

Kai stiffens, staring at Jongin with horrified eyes. “I didn’t think it that far,” he lets out. “Is there a good side to having babies?”

“Yes,” Jongin puts his book down and scoots closer. “You get to be a father.”

Kai’s eyes drop to Jongin’s belly. It is fairly small. And with all the baggy clothes Jongin has been wearing, it is barely noticeable. “How are you so optimistic about this? I don’t know how to be like you.”

“Rub my feet and I’ll tell you my secret.”

Kai heaves a sigh and moves over to Jongin’s feet. When he grabs one of them, Jongin recoils.

“I’m kidding, Kai,” he rasps, but Kai smiles and settles Jongin’s foot on his lap before pressing his thumbs into the top of the sole and between Jongin’s toes.

“It’s okay, Jongin. You’re my brother and that’s my nephew. Sort of like my kid, too.”

Jongin’s dark eyes glisten with tears, but he quickly blinks them away. He sits silently for a moment with his head hung low. “You get a chance to rectify the mistakes our parents made,” Jongin whispers after a while. “And trust me. You’re already better than them.”

Kai tries to not to bring up Adrian. It seems like Jongin has truly moved on from Adrian and it is healthy for him. But he couldn’t help it. “Will you… ever tell Adrian?”

Jongin shakes his head at once. “He doesn’t deserve to know.”

“I had different opinions before Sehun told me he’s pregnant, Jongin. What if… Adrian changes if he knew?”

Jongin scoffs. “I don’t need him to pity me. And if he needs a baby to knock some sense into him, that is the most pathetic thing ever. I don’t want him to want me because of the baby.”

“Fair point,” Kai murmurs, rubbing Jongin’s other foot. “When are you leaving?”

“I’m not sure. I might stay for another week. I missed the air here.”

“Will you be having the baby in the city, then?”

“Yes. Mom has everything arranged.”

“When are you due?”

“In about eleven weeks.”

“I’d like to be by your side when you deliver.”

Jongin stares endearingly at Kai again. “I’d like you to be there, too.”

“Jongin,” Kai exhales, keeping his eyes low for a moment. “I think you should tell him.”

Jongin’s eyebrows furrow into a frown. “Why? What good would it do anyone?”

“I never wanted kids. But you have no idea how happy I am right now. And I know in the future, I’ll only get even happier. I’m already thinking about ideas for the babies’ rooms. Think what you will, but I only love Sehun more now. I don’t even know how, but it’s the truth.”

Jongin curls his lip between his teeth. “I don’t want to tell him, Kai.”

“He’s the father. You should give him a chance to take his responsibilities.”

“I don’t want to force him to remain in my life just for the baby.”

“All right,” Kai sighs. “It’s up to you. I still think you should tell him.”

Jongin leans back on the headboard and stares up at the ceiling for a length.

“Is it a… boy?” Kai asks, prodding a finger into Jongin’s belly.

“Yes. Why?”

“Name him Nemo.”

“You’re not funny, Kai! Get out.”

 

* * *

 

When the doorbell rings, Sehun fights the urge to call for Kai, who is probably crunching up ideas in the drawing room, to get the door. He picks himself up from the bed and heads downstairs. He stops short before the door when the striking scent of Lycan attacks his senses and his heart leaps to his throat.

“Kai,” he calls out, taking a step away from the door. “Kai!”

“Coming,” Kai calls back as he hurries through the hallway. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know,” Sehun mutters as Kai’s expression crumples, registering the foreign scent. With a threatening scowl etched to his eyebrows, Kai yanks the door open.

“I’m looking for a narcissistic, self-absorbed bastard named Kai,” the Lycan says. Sehun peeks over Kai’s shoulder with wide, curious eyes and the wind is knocked out of his lungs when he finds a tough-built, tall man, dressed impeccably sharp in a white shirt, tucked into his faded blue jeans. The silver buckle of the belt glimmers like the watch on his left wrist.

“Nice to meet you, too, Julien,” Kai replies. “Took you long enough to show up.”

“Sorry, unlike some rich jackasses, I have a job to do to keep feeding my mouth.”

Kai laughs nervously. “Sehun! This is my friend, Julien. Julien, this is my husband, Sehun.”

Julien. So, this is the Julien Kai can’t stop talking about for the past few weeks. Sehun never paid any attention to him because he had thought Julien was just once of Kai’s hoity-toity Pantherinae friends. He certainly was not expecting a high echelon Lycan.

“I wouldn’t say _friend_. More like associates with mutual hate,” Julian steps in and tosses his car keys to Kai before holding his hand out to Sehun. Sehun hesitantly takes his hand. God, he could hardly swallow. He feels so small and inadequate before a Lycan this exceptional. “So, you’re the unfortunate Lycan that married this junky.”

“Junky?” Sehun asks, blinking at Kai.

“You caught me smoking pot once, Julien. Knock it off,” Kai grumbles.

“How… do you know each other again?” Sehun inquires and moves to stand by Kai’s side. Julien wears his hair short and he is, without a doubt, one of the most handsome men Sehun has ever encountered. And for a Lycan, Julien looks insanely well-dressed and also smells wonderful.

“Julien was my high school Advanced Calculus teacher,” Kai says. “Naturally, I was his worst student.”

“Teacher,” Sehun utters under his breath, gawking at Julien. He barely looks over thirty and would probably look younger without that thick scruff, though the unshaven face only makes him look even more terrifying. “How bad were you at calculus that you managed to fail a class with a teacher like that?”

Julien smirks at Sehun. “Well, I like you already,” he says.

Kai grimaces at Sehun and slides a hand down to grab Sehun’s arse. Sehun jumps a little. “He’s married.”

“Divorced,” Julien corrects and Kai groans.

“He’s pregnant,” Kai spits. “Three babies! All mine.”

Julien scowls at Kai. “Do you think I came all the way here to flirt with your average-looking mate, who obviously looks pregnant? I’ve got better things to do, Kai.”

“Excuse you?” Sehun spits, lurching forward to fight Julien. “I’m not even showing! Are you calling me fat?!”

Kai grabs Sehun’s arm and hauls him back. “Easy there, Michael Bisping. You’re not going to bring him down.”

Sehun pins Kai with a death glare. “Why is he here?!”

“I’ll tell you. Julien, thanks for coming. I promise, this will be worth your time.”

“It better be,” Julien says, glancing at his watch. “You’ve got five minutes to convince me into helping you.”

“How about becoming the Alpha of the largest pack on the continent and claiming the title of Lycaon?”

Julien arches an eyebrow and Sehun gapes at Kai in confusion. “The Lycaon Prophecy is a ghost story, Kai,” Julien says.

“Which your kind still believes in. All you have to do is beat the Alpha, who is apparently believed to be the strongest Black Wolf among the Lycans here.”

Julien looks both surprised and intrigued. He bows his head. “I’m listening.”

“Kai,” Sehun hisses, yanking at Kai’s arm. “This is your plan?! To get this guy to challenge Adrian?! How do you think he will win?!”

“Adrian might be the only Black Wolf around here, but Julien is a real threat. Trust me.”

“No! Are you trying to provoke my brother even further?! And you trust this man to just hand over all the power in the Lycan territory to him?!”

“I actually trust Julien more than Adrian now. Adrian is in over his head with his power in the pack. Stripped from his pack, he becomes nothing.”

“What’s going on?” Jongin’s voice breaks the argument momentarily. “Who is this?”

Julien blinks at Jongin with wide eyes and then glances to Kai. “You have a twin?” he asks Kai.

“You’re surprised?” Kai smirks.

“I’m surprised he looks beautiful and you don’t,” Julien says and Kai’s smug smile vanishes, replaced with a scowl.

“He’s pregnant, too!” he hisses.

“Are you trying to start a school in here?”

“Can we get back to the issue at hand? What do you say? Do you want a shot at making yourself a pack’s Alpha or not?”

“I’m not in the pack. Technically speaking, I can’t challenge the Alpha in a fair fight. I’ll have to kill him and take his spot as Alpha.”

“Okay,” Kai shrugs.

“Kai!” Sehun bellows, slapping Kai hard on his chest.

“I’m kidding,” Kai says. “That’s the thing. This pack sort of got together on its own. Any Lycan can join it. That’s why it’s so big. They never belonged to any pack before this. Orphans, Lycans, whose family has been killed. Which is why it will be easy for you to get in.”

Julien now seems truly interested. “Well, now we’re talking.”

“Let’s sit down and talk more,” Kai ushers Julien towards the drawing room.

“Who is he?” Jongin asks Sehun in a whisper.

“Kai’s bloody math teacher,” Sehun grumbles and hurries after Kai and Julien.

“Huh?” Jongin lets out behind him.


	34. Chapter 34

Sehun waits until Julien is out of the house and out of sight and earshot to yell at his husband, who must have gone mad. He restlessly paces the bedroom with his arms crossed over his heaving chest and his thoughts mired in this madness.

As soon as the door opens, Sehun snaps. “What were you thinking?!”

Kai pauses for a moment at the doorway before shutting the door behind him. “I can explain.”

“Is this really necessary?! Adrian hasn’t done anything to us. He has let us go on our way. Why are you trying to raise his hackles again?! And your brilliant idea is to strip him off his pack and hand it to a stranger on a silver platter?!”

“Julien isn’t a stranger.”

“I don’t care! The pack belongs to Adrian! It is his family. His home.”

“You’re forgetting about his raging hormones and he thinks with his emotions. He almost killed you, Sehun. And me! Who is to say that he isn’t planning something grand to hurt us in the future? He is so confident because he has his pack to back him up. Without it, he is powerless.”

“What happened to you? I thought you… respected him and you were revered by him. You understood and empathized with his anger and “raging hormones”. Or… has it always been on your agenda—to get rid of Adrian?”

“Calm down, Sehun,” he says in a low voice and extends a hand to touch Sehun’s arm. Sehun flinches away from the touch, scowling harder.

“I won’t, Kai. This is not a joke. What made you jump from team Adrian to team Julien in a millisecond?! Or were you just faking it all this time like you cared about my brother, about the wellbeing of the pack?!”

“Why would I be faking it, Sehun?” he sighs with exasperation.

“I don’t know! Maybe because your fucking grandfather and most of your kind wanted to see my kind perish?!”

Kai’s eyebrows furrow into a frown. “You certainly can’t mean that. Not after everything. Are you seriously revisiting a chapter that was long closed?”

“I honestly have no idea of what you’re up to. You even teamed up with a Lycan to bring chaos to _my_ pack by destroying everything _my_ brother has built thus far.”

“ _Your_ brother who disowned you, Sehun!” Kai roars and Sehun takes a step back. “In case you haven’t noticed, your brother is a first-class jerk! He doesn’t deserve to lead _your_ pack or any pack if he can’t take responsibility for his own fucking child!”

Sehun’s anger ebbs into fear. “What…. What child are you talking about?”

Kai grips his jaw, running a hand through his silver hair. It has been quite a long time since Sehun had seen Kai this frustrated and infuriated. “Yeah. I did empathize with his situation. And I did have respect for him. I _did_. Until I found out he screwed my brother and took off, just to get back at me. He didn’t even bat an eye to victimize a completely innocent person.”

Sehun feels his lungs suddenly struggling for air. “No… You mean,” he swallows. “Jongin’s… baby is… Adrian’s? Adrian would never…”

“Your brother isn’t as righteous as you think, Sehun. You think his thirst for blood will fade away with time. Believe me, it won’t. Because I know what it feels like. He would have come looking for Jongin. He would have at least apologized for exploiting Jongin’s innocence.”

Sehun shakes his head. “No, you must have it wrong. Adrian is not a man like that.”

“Feel free to go and ask Jongin if you’re so in over your head to believe me.”

“How do you know Jongin’s telling the truth?!” Sehun barks and Kai’s eyes narrow. “He’s a Pantherinae, after all.”

“What is wrong with you today?” Kai asks through his teeth. “Do you really think Jongin would use Adrian’s name for the state he’s in? Look, Sehun. Let’s think calmly. Julien might be a Lycan, but he’s a civilized one.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t mean to offend you, but you can’t deny that your brother and his pack are kind of… Neanderthal. They are crass and uncultivated. At least with Julien in charge of the pack, we’d have a shot at the peace accord between Pantherinaes and Lycans. Julien wants a pack, he can easily insinuate himself into Adrian’s pack. There’s a good chance he will win against Adrian, too. Think about it. With Adrian exiled from his pack, he’d come running looking for his family and you’ll be reunited with him as well.”

Sehun scoffs. “So, that’s it, then. You’re after your own agenda. Then just say it instead of using me as a bloody excuse. You want the accord to happen and that is all that matters to you.”

“Were you even listening to what I just said?”

“Loud and clear! What if all that you’re doing is to frame my brother? You and Jongin. God, it finally makes sense.”

Kai lets out a predatory growl and slams his fist onto the sideboard, causing the vase to topple and shatter on the ground. “Why are we even fighting on this?! You left your brother, remember?! Even _you_ realized what sort of a hypocrite he is and now you’re defending him again?!”

“It is _his_ pack! You have no right to sabotage it!”

“He sabotaged my family, Sehun,” he snarls, stepping dangerously close to Sehun.

“Did he rape Jongin?” Sehun asks with a clenched jaw.

“No. But—”

“So, it was mutual. Jongin let himself get fucked and you’re harping on and on about how _innocent_ your brother is?! Say it, Kai! Say that you just want to lord over both Pantherinaes and the Lycans! Wasn’t I just a pawn in your game, too?! You married me to get the appeasement in the first place! To make a show about how sacrificing you are! I wouldn’t be surprised if you actually whored your brother over to Adrian to speed up the process!”

That is the last word Sehun manages to get out before Kai’s hand strikes his face, sending him staggering against the wall. His eyes instantly burn up with tears as a sob rises in his throat. The side of his face stings while his head spins.

“All you Lycans are the same,” Kai spits and raises his hand again, but quickly clenches it into a fist and closes his eyes, grinding his teeth. He sucks in a few deep breaths before spinning around and storming out of the room.

 

* * *

 

That night, Sehun cowers under the duvet, hugging himself for warmth for the four of them. The pillow is soaked in his tears. His body doesn’t stop trembling.

He was wrong to say those things about Jongin. About Kai. But he couldn’t stop himself. He hates Kai for wanting to ruin Adrian. What Adrian did doesn’t matter. Adrian is still his brother and Kai cannot expect Sehun to be okay with this ridiculous plan of his.

The door creaks open, but he does not turn around. He continues to stare at the drapes in the dark. This is the life he has to live. He had chosen this. Now he must live with it. Kai is going to lose his temper and hurt him every time they have an argument.

He feels the weight on the mattress shift. He swallows and sheds another tear into the pillow. Kai slips under the duvet and wraps Sehun with his warmth. He glides an arm around Sehun’s waist and pushes a hand under Sehun’s shirt. “Sehun,” he breathes against the side of Sehun’s neck. He presses his chest to Sehun’s back, brushing his lips on Sehun’s nape. “I’m so sorry.”

Sehun stirs and moves to the edge to create a safe distance between them.

“Sehun,” Kai murmurs when Sehun pushes his hand off his hip. “What you said was wrong, too, Sehun. You can’t always expect me to stand back and listen to every shit that you have to say without reacting. But I am sorry for… hitting you. You know I am.”

Sehun does not reply.

“Fine. Suit yourself,” Kai spits furiously at last and climbs out of the bed. Sehun only lets himself cry when he hears the door being slammed shut.

 

* * *

 

Jongin does not stop thinking about it. Though he does not want this pregnancy or the baby to do anything with Adrian, Kai does have a point. Whether he likes it or not, Adrian _does_ have something to do with this pregnancy and the baby. He probably should know, even though Jongin will not allow him to be a part of the baby’s life. That’s what his mother advised him, too. It is always better for both the parent and the child if the father that abandoned them doesn’t show up in their lives ever again. But Kai was right, too. It would be unfair to keep Adrian in the dark on this issue.

“What say you? Do you want your dad to know about you?” he asks the mirror as he struggles to button up his shirt over the bloated belly. “What if he doesn’t want you or like you? That’s impossible. Everyone would love you.”

He picks up his phone from the bed. “See. Grandma sends kisses for you,” he chuckles to himself when he reads the text message from his mother. “And some nagging for me,” he sighs at the list of things he should be mindful about. The baby shifts inside him and Jongin gently pats his belly to calm the baby while reading the rest of the text. He books a cab right after and faces the mirror again to adjust his hair. “What’s wrong, Nemo?” he whispers, frowning, when the baby moves again. He freezes for a moment as his vision blurs and the room starts to spin around him.

Dragging his feet to the bedside drawer, he manages to fish out the bottle and flumps on the edge of the bed before swallowing a couple of pills. He tries to focus on his breathing, but the baby shifts again. Jongin glances at his reflection on the mirror. The colour that was present on his cheeks only a moment ago has now vanished, replaced by a pale complexion. He exhales a sigh.

“Hang in there,” he mutters, rubbing his stomach. His back hurts, his ankles are swollen and he could barely stand up most of the time. A few more weeks and this will all be over. Neither of them would have to suffer anymore. “Grandma will take care of you when I’m not around,” he says in a whisper.

When he wends his way down after pulling his coat and boots on, he finds Kai asleep on the chaise lounge in the drawing room with an arm thrown over his eyes to block the brightness out. Jongin wonders why Kai is sleeping in the drawing room instead of his room. Sehun probably kicked him out again.

Without bothering to wake Kai up, Jongin proceeds to the door. His heart jumps to his neck when opens the door. “Oh, hi,” the man from yesterday says, lowering his hand from the doorbell. Jongin holds the door open, glaring at the man.

“Hi,” he mutters. “You’re… Kai’s teacher, right?”

The guy arches an eyebrow. “I _was_ , yes. Uh… We were supposed to meet this morning.”

“He’s not up yet,” Jongin says. He would have returned the guy’s smile if only the baby weren’t kicking him so hard. He fights the urge to growl at Nemo to stop and get some rest.

“Oh. I see. Can you ask him to give me a call when he’s up, then?”

“Sure.”

The man bites his lip, scanning Jongin from top to toe. “I’m sorry, am I holding you back from something?”

“I have somewhere else to be. I’m waiting for the cab.”

“I’m Julien, by the way,” he sticks a hand out and Jongin hesitantly takes it.

“Jongin.”

“I can give you a ride if you’d like.”

“No, it’s fine. Thanks.”

Julien smiles and nods before he turns away, walking back to his car.

 

* * *

 

Adrian has forgotten how different the Frost Inn looks without the snow covering every inch of the ground surrounding it. The pine tree forest is a rich sea of green now. The moist, rain-kissed loam is soft to amble on. The sun peeks shyly behind the thick, white puffs of cloud. Snowdrops and bluebells adorn the path to the inn. Spring hasn’t been this warm in Itcara in years.

He bids a customer goodbye as she leaves the cabin, lugging her bags behind her. “Well, we’re out of business again,” Thea says when he walks up to her on the veranda. “That’s the first one in almost a month.”

Adrian gives Thea a comforting pat on her shoulder. “More will come in summer,” he says with a nonchalant shrug.

“Just like how you plan to get a shave in summer?” she snorts, cocking her eyebrow.

Adrian slides his fingers across his beard. “I think it’s about time I acknowledged my age.”

“Yeah. You’re greying.”

“Knock it off. I’m not that old.”

“But you do have grey hairs now.”

“So do you, Thea.”

Thea lets out a loud breath and takes her seat on the steps. She pats the spot beside her for Adrian to sit. Adrian obliges.

They stare into the trees without exchanging a single word for moments before Thea says, “We _are_ old, aren’t we? It feels like it’s been a lifetime when I first met you.”

Adrian drapes an arm around his friend’s shoulders to pull her close. “And we’ll always have each other.”

Thea manages the faintest of smiles. “I’m glad those rogue wolves aren’t coming around here anymore.”

“Me, too. Everything’s back to the way as it was before…” he trails off at a sour memory.

“Before your brother came back. Adrian—”

“Save the lecture, Thea,” he says and withdraws his arm. “I don’t want to hear it again.”

“Okay, okay,” she says defeatedly. “I’m just saying. You’re getting old… older. Maybe it’s about time we put these differences aside and—”

“Too late to mend my mistakes,” Adrian cuts her off. “And honestly, I’m a little too tired thinking about what I should have done right. Sehun’s gone. He chose the life he wants. And I chose mine. One without him. I forgot that he’s all grown up now and that he’s no longer my sweet little brother that worshipped me. He has his life now. It is no longer us against the world.”

“Won’t you ever forgive him?”

“If I forgive him, then I’ll have to beat myself up trying to forgive myself for the things I’ve done.”

Thea nods her head before resting it on Adrian’s shoulder. “We’re getting old,” she mutters, curling her arms around Adrian. “Did you hear about Sky’s new girlfriend?”

“Yeah. Met her, actually. She’s a nice girl.”

“You know why _you_ don’t have a nice girlfriend?”

Adrian sighs. “Do enlighten me.”

“‘Cause you don’t shave and you smell like cheap beer and sweat all the time.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“Touché.”

They stay in each other’s loose embrace for a stretch before Thea leaps up to her feet upon discerning the taxi that pulls up in the driveway. “Oh, we have another lodger!”

Adrian pushes himself up to his feet. His heart sinks at the sight of Jongin climbing out the cab.

“Oh, my God. Jongin!” Thea rasps and jogs over to Jongin.

Adrian clenches his fists at his sides, staring at Jongin’s weak smile. “Hi, Thea,” he says. “How have you been?”

“Good! And wow, I can see that you look great, Jongin. I heard that you left Harvington some months back. Have you returned for good?”

Jongin shakes his head. “No, no. I just came for Chanyeol’s wedding.”

“Oh, yes. I heard about that, too. Give them my best wishes, will you?”

“I will. They would have been happy to invite you, but they probably didn’t want a scene.”

“I understand. How are Sehun and Kai?”

“Everyone’s fine.”

“What brings you around here, then?”

Jongin’s gaze darts to Adrian and though there is no kindness in Jongin’s expression, there is a hint of misery in his eyes. Something clenches inside Adrian.

Jongin marches over to Adrian. “I need to speak with you,” he says monotonously. “Don’t worry. I won’t stick around in your territory. I just need to talk to you for a minute.”

Adrian licks his lips and nods. He brushes past Jongin to lead the way to his cottage, but Jongin halts him.

“No, here is fine,” Jongin says. “I’m pregnant and the baby is also yours. I don’t want you to take responsibility and I don’t expect you to be in the baby’s life. I would appreciate it if you just stayed away from both of us. I don’t need your pity and neither does my baby. I just thought you should know.” With that, he stomps back to the cab.


	35. Chapter 35

Kai acknowledges the worn-out smile dying out on Jongin’s pale lips as he saunters into the kitchen. Though he feels fresh after that cold shower in the morning, Jongin’s ashen complexion instantly drags his high moods down to a ditch.

“Good morning,” Jongin says in a sullen tone, fixing up Kai a plate of pan-hot crepes, smothered in maple syrup.

“Good morning,” Kai echoes, taking his seat on the stool at the island. “Did you have a rough morning?”

“A rough _night_ ,” his brother sighs and slides a plate of crepes over to him along with a fork. Kai digs into the layers at once. “I couldn’t sleep. Not only was he kicking, I also suffered from horrible heartburn. I couldn’t lay down or sit or stand. God, I’m exhausted.”

“Where were you yesterday? And the day before yesterday? I spent more than an hour searching the manor for you and you didn’t return any of my calls.”

“I went to the hospital and then the town,” Jongin says with a grin. “I got those flowers,” he points the vase of purple tulips by the window. “And a bunch of new clothes. I realized I can’t fit into most of my clothes anymore. Stocked up the house with some meat and baby carrots. The baby likes them. I seriously forgot how depressing the Harvington town can be.”

Kai shrugs and swallows the food before talking to Jongin’s stomach. “Well, Nemo. Your uncle likes baby carrots, too. So, I feel you.”

Some colour returns to Jongin’s cheeks as he blushes.

“You could have told me. I would have accompanied you,” Kai says.

“No, it’s fine. Besides, you’ve been busy all week with that hunky Lycan teacher of yours. Aren’t you too old to be learning math now?”

Kai almost chokes on the crepes. “What? I’m not… God, that’s what you thought this was about?” he couldn’t help a laugh.

Jongin looks confused. “Well, that’s what Sehun told me… Speaking of Sehun, I haven’t seen him in days. Is he all right? Why is he holed up in his room?”

Kai licks his lips, staring out the window for a moment. “ _I_ haven’t seen him in days either.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, he leaves a mess in the kitchen every time he makes food, so I know he’s alive. He just doesn’t want to talk to me.”

Jongin frowns. “Did you guys fight?”

“Yeah. It’s been over a week and boy, does he know how to hold a grudge,” Kai lets out an exasperated breath, shaking his head in disappointment.

Jongin sits down at the island across Kai. “I don’t mean to pry, but was the fight that serious? I suppose Sehun does have the inclination to stay mad for a very long time, but I thought you two were on happy, great terms.”

“We _were_. Until he decided to side with his brother all of a sudden,” Kai grumbles and clenches his jaw.

Jongin blinks with amusement. “You guys are fighting over Adrian?”

“No shit,” Kai spits. “Do you know the feeling when you’re about to reach the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow and suddenly, the rain falls? Adrian is the rain. Or you’re driving smoothly on a road to reach your desired destination and suddenly, the tyre blows due to a prick on the road. Adrian is that prick.”

“What has Adrian done now?”

“Nothing. He exists.”

“I thought you liked him.”

“Up until everything around me became about _him_.” His eyes fall on Jongin’s bulging belly. “Seriously, Jongin. You can’t expect me to like the dude that knocked up my brother and threatened my husband and almost bludgeoned me to death _that_ _much._ ”

“What was the argument between you and Sehun about? It certainly can’t be about this. These things happened like a long time ago.”

“Yeah,” he sucks in a breath. “Sehun isn’t happy about me trying to ‘dethrone’ his brother.”

Jongin arches a tired brow. “Why would you want to do that?”

“For Sehun. For everyone. He just doesn’t understand it. If Julien becomes the Alpha to the biggest pack in Itcara, there is a chance that we might make peace with the Lycans.”

“Your math teacher? That’s what this is all about?”

“Yes. He’s currently working on getting transferred to the local high school in Itcara. He’s in for it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be the Alpha of a pack like that, right?”

“How would Julien become the Alpha?”

“By defeating Adrian, obviously. He’s a Black Wolf, too. The thing is, Jongin. Julien is civilized. He wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of appeasement between Pantherinaes and Lycans. As you might have noticed, most of the Lycans in the city are not as hostile to us as the ones here.”

“I noticed a lot of Lycans giving me the perverted look.”

“That’s probably because of your weird scent.”

“I have a weird scent?”

“Let’s not get off track here. My point is, Julien can and will overthrow Adrian. Sehun doesn’t want to see that happen because for some odd reason, he still loves his brother.”

“Kai,” Jongin rises to his feet. “Let’s just say one day I hurt you. Would you stop loving me?” Kai remains silent to that question. “That’s how brothers work.” He grabs a kitchen towel to clean up the counter.

“But… you’re not mad at me for wanting to overthrow Adrian?”

Jongin shakes his head. “I stopped caring about Adrian a while ago, Kai. I’m not even mad at him anymore. I don’t think I have ever been mad at him, if I’m being honest. This fight you have is between you and him. I don’t think I want to be a part of it. And how Sehun is siding with his brother, I’ll side with mine.”

Kai smiles at that. “Thanks for not lashing out at me like Sehun did. That’s not even… why we’re not talking,” Kai says in an embarrassed voice. “I hit him.”

Jongin freezes as his eyes bulge out. “You… hit… him.”

“I swear, not on purpose. And I’m awfully sorry for it.”

Lowering his head, Jongin idly stares at the cloth in his hand. “He’s pregnant, Kai,” he whispers after a long pause.

“And that entitles him to say whatever that he wants to say?”

“What did he say?”

Kai bites his tongue. “Nothing important. Either way, I apologized.”

“Well, he isn’t like me to just blindly believe men like you and be so pathetically forgiving,” he tosses the towel into the sink and walks away.

“Jongin,” Kai groans.

Jongin comes to a halt and faces Kai with a scowl. “You’re going to be a father, Kai. And trust me. Babies are not best known for nurturing patience.” He does not wait for Kai’s response as he storms out of the kitchen.

Huffing furiously, Kai drops the fork to the plate and plants his head in his hands. He lifts his head when Sehun’s penetrating scent strikes his sense. Sehun silently enters the kitchen, clad in a shirt and pyjama pants. He doesn’t look up at Kai immediately, but when he does, he looks at him with determination and anger.

Kai gulps.

“Morning,” Kai mutters as Sehun fetches himself a bowl and the cereal box. He lazily drags himself to the refrigerator to grab the orange juice carton. Settling the bowl on top of the island, he fills it up with cereal before drowning it in orange juice. “Sehun… that’s not milk.”

“I’ll eat what I want,” Sehun murmurs under his breath without looking up at Kai.

“Okay, sorry,” Kai lets out and glances away while Sehun grabs a spoon and digs into the cereal.

They sit in silence for a moment. Kai should say something to make things right. But the only thing Sehun will be willing to listen to right now is that Kai won’t do anything Adrian and Kai is dogged and hell-bent on his agenda.

“You can keep giving me the cold shoulder for as long as you want, but I’m not changing my mind, Sehun,” Kai says with a lockjaw. Sehun’s eyes fling up to stare at him. “I will have your brother exiled.”

“You can try,” Sehun mumbles with a mouthful of cereal. “I’m not worried about Adrian because I know he won’t lose to Julien.”

Kai scowls. “Then why are you snubbing me?”

Sehun remains mum for a length before harrumphing, “I don’t want the babies.”

Silence falls heavy between them as Kai tries to process what Sehun has just said. “What did you say?”

Sehun slams his hand on the island before pushing himself up to his feet. “I don’t want the babies. I don’t want _your_ babies.”

“Fuck,” Kai shoots upright. “I already said I’m sorry, Sehun!”

“A _sorry_ won’t cut it, Kai! You hit me. Again. And this will happen again, no matter how many times you promise yourself and me that it won’t!” Sehun cries. “And I cannot suffer with three bloody children and an abusive husband! Adrian was right. He was right that I would regret this and I do.”

“Do you think they’re some trivial items for you to want them and toss them away as you please?!”

“I wanted them, yes. Because I thought you had changed. You promised me it won’t happen again, but it did. Face it. You’re hardwired to see me as your enemy and I can’t blame you for that. What if this happens later in the future when I can barely move with three children inside me? Or worse. After they’re born.”

“Are you even listening to yourself?! They’re already growing inside you! How can you just… say that you don’t want them now?”

“Why do _you_ care? You never wanted them in the first place.”

Kai palms his forehead, making a low guttural sound while clenching his teeth to suppress his anger. “No,” he declares.

“ _No_? I don’t want them!”

“I don’t care.”

“I get to choose whether to carry them or not!”

“And you did. You chose to keep them. So, you will not abort them now.”

“Oh, and you get to call the shots?!”

“Stop shouting,” Kai orders. “And yes, I do get to call the shots because they are my babies, too.”

“And if I choose ignore you? Are you going to beat me up into subjugation again?”

“Don’t tempt me, Sehun.”

Sehun stops at that and it is too late for Kai to pick the words up and stuff them back into his mouth. Hanging his head, Sehun snivels, wiping a corner of his eye with the back of his hand. “I hate you,” Sehun breathes out shakily before hurrying out of the kitchen.

Cursing in his head, Kai flumps back on the stool and drops his face in his hands. What has he done…

 

* * *

 

Jongin stops in his tracks when he finds Julien and Kai at the front door, shaking hands.

“That settles it, then. I’ll head over to the inn sometime this week and see what’s the hype there,” Julien says with a smile as brilliant as his eyes.

“I appreciate what you’re doing, Julien,” Kai replies before glancing over to Jongin. “Going out again?”

“Yeah,” Jongin mutters, approaching his brother and Julien. “I need ice-cream.”

“Jongin, I’ll get you some later.”

“No, I want to go out. I can’t stay put in my room all day. I need to do something.”

“All right, I’ll go with you.”

“No, I called a cab.”

“Actually,” Julien interrupts. “I’m going that way. I can give you a ride.”

Jongin tries not to look too disappointed at the offer. He likes going out alone. He likes showing things and places to Nemo while describing how everything looks. He wants the baby to see the world from his eyes before Nemo would start to see it with his own. He can’t do any of it if a stranger tagged along.

Kai blinks at Julien and then at Jongin. Then with a sly smirk, he pushes Jongin in towards Julien. “That’s a brilliant idea, Jongin,” he rasps. “Go.”

Jongin does not think it polite to refuse the man’s offer again. So, he follows Julien to his fancy red car and is a little taken aback when Julien gets the door for him.

“Buckle up,” Julien says when he jumps into the driver seat of his sports car, but before Jongin could reach up to the seatbelt, Julien arches over him and does it for Jongin himself. Jongin stiffens in his seat as Julien leans too close. “Comfortable?”

“Huh? Oh… yes,” Jongin mumbles, looking out the window. He checks out Julien’s faint reflection and finds himself staring at the man. Julien isn’t bad looking, that’s for sure. And he certainly knows how to clean up. If it weren’t for his scent, Jongin would have believed Julian to be a Pantherinae.

“I get the feeling you’re not really fond of me or my presence,” Julien says, letting out a soft chuckle as he pulls the car out of the driveway. “Don’t worry. You won’t be seeing much of me around here anymore. We’ve discussed everything we needed to discuss for the accord.”

Jongin turns his head to face the man. He must be at least a decade older. “It’s nothing like that. I’m sorry if I came off as rude,” he pauses. “How do you know my brother?”

“I was unfortunately his teacher back in high school.”

“Oh. That makes sense now. You’re… not like the other Lycans? I mean, you seem friendly with Pantherinaes.”

“I believe the Pantherinaes’ hatred for Lycans is stronger than the hatred we have for you.”

“It only applies to some of us.”

“I can see that,” Julien smirks, keeping his eyes on the road. “Your brother married a Lycan. It’s quite like Kai to be rebellious.”

Jongin stays silent.

“I was rather surprised to receive that phone call from your brother that day.”

“Are you here to stay for good?” Jongin inquires.

“I think so.”

Jongin could not help but wonder if Adrian’s pack would shift their allegiance to Julien without batting an eye. Adrian has built this pack. He highly doubts Kai’s plan to overthrow Adrian would work that easily.

“Is it fair for you to covet a pack that already belongs to someone?” Jongin blurts out.

Julien pins him with a sidelong glance. “It’s fair to covet power, don’t you think?”

Though Jongin has some remarks to say to that, he doesn’t utter them. He falls silent and turns his gaze to the window again.

They don’t exchange a word until they have reached the town. “That grocery store,” Jongin says, pointing at **Mel’s Shop ‘n’ Eat**. “Thanks.”

“I can send you back—”

“No, I’ll get a cab.” Jongin does not wait for a reply as he hurries out of the car and marches toward the store. He halts and staggers a step back when he almost bumps into a blonde-haired woman that exists the store with a lolly in her mouth and two huge men at her sides. Lycans.

Jongin mutters a sorry and tries to detours around them, but he is blocked by the Lycans. “Oh, hi,” the woman says, her red lips stretching into a menacing smile. “Have we… met?”

Jongin stares at her and her companions for a second. “I don’t think so.”

“You look very familiar,” she chimes, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s a kitty like you doing alone in the bad side of town?”

“Well, the bad side of town happens to sell the best ice-cream,” Jongin says. “I want no trouble.”

The woman’s eyes drop to Jongin’s stomach and Jongin protectively pulls the coat tighter around him. “Ah, I remember who you are,” she says, looking back up Jongin’s eyes. “Yeah, that face is hard to forget. Your brother is the leader of the Pride in Harvington. You’re Adrian’s booty boy.”

Jongin’s face wilts. “Wha—”

“My, my, my,” she grins, looking to Jongin’s belly again. “We finally meet. I’m Lara,” she sticks her hand out. Jongin stares the hand and then at her. Shrugging, she withdraws her hand. “I must ask. Is there a bun in the oven?” she points to his belly.

“I have to go,” Jongin mutters and turns around to leave, but a harsh grip on his arm forces him to face her again.

“Where are you running off to? We just met. Is that a Lycan child you’re carrying?”

Jongin glances to the two men that edge closer. “I don’t know who you are and I don’t want anything to do with you,” he says nervously.

“Well, that’s too bad. _I_ have something to do with you. Wow. You’re cheaper than I thought you’d be. Say, my buds here,” she pats on the back of the men. “would love a taste of Pantherinaes. Don’t you bend over for Lycan cocks? Wait, the better question would be—whose _that_ is,” she asks with a cocked eyebrow, pointing at Nemo again.

“Mine,” Jongin almost jumps when he hears Julien’s deep voice behind him before a strong arm curls around his waist. “Is there a problem here?”

Lara’s eyes widen as she openly gawks at Julien. “Who are you?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” Julien snarls.

“I’m the Alpha of a pack in Harvington.”

“Good thing I’m not from your pack, then. Run your mouth like that again and that will be the last thing you’ll ever say.”

Lara and the other two Lycans stare at Julien for a moment. “You’ve got guts. Coming into our territory and talking like that,” one of the two men growls.

“Shush,” Lara hisses at him and faces Julien again. “You’re new around here. Well, I hope we could all be friends.”

“I don’t see that happening.”

“If there’s a change of heart, ask around for me at the nightclub. The name’s Lara. We’ll give you a proper welcome.” With a wink of her eye, she walks away, dragging the other two Lycans with her.

As soon as the Lycans are out of sight, Julien retracts his arm from Jongin. “You all right?”

“Thank you,” Jongin whispers, wiping his forehead. “But you didn’t have to… do that.”

Julien lifts his shoulders smugly. “Don’t sweat it. It’s just a harmless favour. You know who they are?”

Jongin shakes his head. “But the word got out that I’m Adrian’s booty boy,” he sighs and walks into the store.

Julien tags along. “Adrian. The Alpha in Itcara.”

“The one and only. The one you would have a fight with if you go with Kai’s plan,” he says, searching the dairy section.

“Oh… So, the baby’s…” he trails off and Jongin glances back at him.

“Yeah.”

Julien does not look disappointed or upset. He smiles instead. “Now I understand why your brother loathes that guy.”

“I don’t think it has much to do with me.” He grabs a tub of ice-cream and pays for it.

“It’s probably not a good idea to go around on your own when your brother has made quite some enemies,” Julien says as they take their seats on the bench just outside the store. Jongin takes a minute to admire the sight before him.

“I thought about staying for a little longer. But after what I just heard from that woman…. I can’t wait to go back to the city. It’s just that… I was born here and I grew up here all my life. It feels weird suddenly. Like I’m not going to be able to come back here if I left again. Like I’m going to leave this place for good.”

“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing,” Julien mutters, staring ahead. Jongin scoops up a spoonful vanilla ice-cream. “I’m starting to like this place. And Itcara. Been in the city all my life. It can’t beat this.”

“Don’t you have a family?”

“I do. Well, kind of. I have a daughter.”

“Oh. She’s not here with you?”

“No. She’s just five years old. It’s better for her to stay with her mom.”

Jongin nods his head considerately and hands the tub of ice-cream to Julien. Smiling half a smile, Julien accepts it and eats from it from returning it back to Jongin. “You and your wife are not together? I’m sorry if I’m asking too much.”

“No, no,” he leans back on the bench and stretches his arms across the top of it. Jongin comfortably leans against Julien’s thick arm. “She found someone else. So, I let her go.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.”

“Well, we all have our regrets.”

Jongin drops his gaze to the ice-cream. “We do.”

“I respect you for your perseverance. It must be difficult doing this alone.”

“I’m not alone. I have my mother. There’s Kai.”

“It’s not the same, is it? They probably don’t know the hardships you go through.”

Jongin swallows as he casts his mind back to the nights he cried himself to sleep due to pain in the underside of his belly and the mornings he suffered to stay awake and keep the food inside him so that his baby won’t starve, even though all that he wanted to do was throw up. When his mother was at work, he had to do everything on his own. He told Kai that he no longer cares about Adrian, but only he knows the nights he struggled to not to fantasize about having Adrian by his side. How painful it felt every time he saw a happy couple with their children.

“No, they don’t,” he mumbles, blinking the tears away. “I keep trying to not to thinking about. But I’m worried I might not make it.”

“What do you mean?”

Jongin lets out a sigh. “Nothing.”

Julien slides a hand into Jongin’s. “You’re going to be all right, champ. You Pantherinaes are strong-headed things. I doubt a little pregnancy will bring you stubborn kind down.”

Jongin chuckles despite himself. “You know. You’re not that bad.”

“Boy, does it always take this much effort to make you smile?” he rises to his feet. “Come on. I’ll give you a lift home.”

When they are back on the road again, Julien asks, “So, does he know?”

Jongin purses his lips for a beat. “Yes.”

Julien arches his eyebrows. “And yet, I don’t see him around.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Well, that guy better grow a pair.”

Jongin does not make a rejoinder. Perhaps it isn’t fair to pin all these accusations on Adrian, who only found out he’s going to have a child a week ago. “He’s not a bad guy either.”

“I don’t a buy a word of that based on what Kai and you have told me. Want to make a short visit?”

“What?”

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fine.”

 

* * *

 

“Is this it?” Julien asks, pulling the car onto the driveway of the inn.

Jongin wants to duck out of this at once. “Are you kidding me?” Jongin rasps. “What are we doing here?”

“Saying hi.” He pulls over and exits the car. Jongin swallows hard, wanting to disappear right this instant. “Come on,” Julien urges when he opens the door for Jongin.

“I can’t be here,” Jongin says, climbing out of the car. “I’m leaving.” He starts to walk away, but Julien yanks him back.

“You leave now, you’ll never get to see the bastard that did this to you being dragged a step down from his throne.”

“I don’t _want_ to! Kai’s motives are not mine,” Jongin hisses. “And I don’t even know who you are! God, damn it.”

“Jongin?” Finn’s voice freezes Jongin on spot. When Jongin turns around, he finds Finn and Adrian with logs on their shoulders. Jongin’s eyes focus on the tattoo on Adrian’s sweat-slicked chest before he looks away.

Both Adrian and Finn drop the logs upon noticing Julien’s presence. Adrian picks up his flannel shirt from the veranda’s steps and pulls it on, eyes piercing furiously into Julien. Thea and Kris burst out of the cabin, both gawking at Julien in shock.

“Ah, so you must be the Adrian that everyone can’t seem to shut up about,” Julien says as he approaches Adrian.

“Who the hell are you?” it is Kris who asks with his arms folded over his chest.

Jongin wipes away the frown on his eyebrows when he finds Adrian’s staring straight at him instead of Julien.

“Julien,” Julien says, holding his hand out to Kris, who reluctantly accepts it for a brief and firm shake.

“Julien who?” Kris spits.

“Not really of your concern,” Julien shoves past Kris to stand before Adrian. “I want to join your pack.”

Adrian silently stares at Julien, who stands almost as tall as him, almost as big as him. Put side by side, Julien actually looks just a tad bit smaller to Adrian.

“Join the pack?” Finn echoes sceptically. “Where do you come from?”

Julien ignores Finn, keeping his concentration on Adrian. “I heard about your pack. You accept orphaned wolves, yes?”

Adrian glances over Julien’s shoulder to look at Jongin again. “It’s not that simple,” Thea answers instead. “You can’t just show up here, wanting to join the pack.”

“My mistake. I understood that’s how you guys rolled. Accepting all the Lycans that come looking for a home.” There is no kindness in Julien’s tone, as though he is deliberately trying to provoke Adrian. “You’re the Alpha, yes? Yeah, you look it,” he says blatantly. “Brazen, reeking of power, arrogance and utter crap.”

“Uh, Adrian?” Finn murmurs, glancing to his Alpha with a surprised expression.

“I’m going to bring you down,” Julien says with calm and composure. “Whether you let me join your pack or not.,” he scoffs. “Deranged Alpha. Wolf with rabies. The brother who wanted to kill his younger brother. Hard-headed bully. The bastard who abandoned his own child,” Julien chuckles. “And the list goes on. Your name is already stinking around here as it is. I certainly can’t make it worse. But I’d like to see if I can try.”

Adrian does not seem shaken or surprised. He appears to be a little distracted if anything.

“I just came over to tell you to watch your back. Because unlike you, I’m a man and I don’t stab people in the back. You’ve got a real threat, Adrian. And as soon as your pack sees what a worthless leader you are, it’s the end for you.”

“Dude, you better back off,” Kris cuts in, shoving Julien back. Julien seizes Kris’ arm and twists it over his back before stomping on the back of Kris’ knee to bring him to the ground.

Finn lurches forward at once, but is instantly stopped by Julien’s clutch on his neck. As soon as Adrian takes a step forward, Julien’s fist slams him in the face, driving Adrian’s head into the veranda pole.

“Oh, my God!” Jongin gasps and hurries to put himself between Julien and the others. “Stop!”

Julien smirks, releasing Finn’s neck. “My fight is with you. Just you,” he tells Adrian. “Be a man and fight back. But if you’re too scared, send a cavalry. I challenge you to a duel.”

Jongin stares at the blood trickling down the side of Adrian’s face from the cut on his temple.

“You bloody—” Kris advances again, but Adrian halts him with a hand on Kris’ shoulder. “Adrian, you’re not going to just let this guy march in here and challenge you!”

“Who are you?” Adrian speaks up at last. “What do you want?”

“Just like most people that know you, I want you out,” Julien says. “I openly dare you to a challenge. Accept it if you’ve got the guts.”

It seems quite obvious that Julien is trying to provoke a favourable reaction from Adrian, one that would get him to fight.

“I’m not going to fight you,” Adrian sighs. “Go home, kid.”

Julien blinks at Adrian. This is clearly not he was expecting. The disappointment is palpable on his face. Adrian rubs his forehead and starts towards the trees.

“You better get out of here before something bad happens, mate,” Kris growls at Julien.

Jongin grabs Julien’s arm and hauls him back to the car. “Can you just leave?” Jongin pleads the man.

“Your brother told me Adrian is a bad-tempered guy,” Julien mutters confusedly. “I just struck his face and he looks so chill like I just told him I love beef jerky.”

Jongin is rather confused about that part, too. “Please, leave.”

“You’re not coming?”

“You go. I have to… do something. Just leave.”

With a frown furrowing his eyebrows together, Julien climbs into the car and Jongin wends his way back to Finn, Kris and Thea. “I’m sorry.”

“Who the fuck is that dude?” Finn snaps with a gripped jaw.

“A friend,” Jongin mutters.

“He’s new around here.”

Jongin bows his head. “He is.”

“What are you doing hanging out with douchebags like him?” Kris yaps, but his hard expression softens at once when his gaze falls on Jongin’s bulge. “Oh, hell… You’re—”

“Yes,” Jongin cuts him off. “I’m sorry, but I…” he looks to the forest. Without rethinking his decision, he drags his feet to Adrian’s cottage. The forest looks odd without the blanket of snow.

He raises his fist to knock on the door, but hesitates. The door springs open before he even manages to knock. Adrian struts back in after leaving the door open for Jongin to let himself in.

Shutting the door, Jongin gnaws on his lower lip, sliding an arm over his stomach when it starts to ache. Adrian drops to sit on the one seater sofa with a side of his face still covered in blood. Jongin discards his coat and meanders into the kitchen.

After finding a rag, he soaks it in some water and returns to the living room. He pauses to silently stare at Adrian for a moment, scanning the dried blood on Adrian’s temple. Then heaving a sigh, he walks over to Adrian and hesitantly sits on Adrian’s lap. Adrian looks up at him, but doesn’t protest. Instead, he snakes an arm around Jongin’s back while Jongin raises the rag to the bleeding temple. Wiping the blood, he gently dabs the cloth on the cut and softly brushes the bruise on Adrian’s cheek with his fingertips.

“Why didn’t you fight back?” Jongin asks in a whisper, dragging his fingers along Adrian’s bearded jawline.

“I didn’t have a reason to,” Adrian mutters. He keeps his gaze low on Jongin’s baby bump. Jongin drops his hand to Adrian’s chest. He should leave. If he stayed any longer, he might break down into sobs and he doesn’t want Adrian to see him cry.

“What was the reason for what you did to me, then?”

Adrian’s rough and calloused hand caresses Jongin’s hand on his chest. Jongin closes his eyes for a moment, wondering if the baby’s heartbeat is in sync with Adrian’s. Adrian leans in and rests his forehead on Jongin’s. His ragged breath grazes Jongin’s ear while his beard prickles Jongin’s cheek. “I shouldn’t have come to you that night,” Adrian lets out, brushing his lips on the corner of Jongin’s lips.

Jongin clutches Adrian’s shirt in a fist when Adrian presses their lips together. His breaths betray him as he pants with Adrian kissing him ever so tenderly. For a second, he worries that Adrian might hear his racing heartbeat, but quickly surrenders his concentration to the kiss and Adrian’s warm lips sucking on his lower lip. He swipes his tongue across Jongin’s, burying his hand in Jongin’s hair. “Adrian,” Jongin breathes out to break the kiss.

“I… came to say something, but ended up doing something else,” Adrian says. “I don’t know why I didn’t stop and I don’t even know if you’ll believe me if I told you that it was real for me. The realest thing I’ve ever had and touched in my life.”

“Why did you leave and never come back?” Jongin asks through the sob blocking his throat.

“I thought I’d be better off without you and you’d be better off without me,” he stops for a minute to stare at Jongin’s belly. “You told me you were infertile.”

“Turns out I’m not. Not completely, at least.”

“Why did you keep it?”

Jongin could not answer that question. Adrian hisses a little when Jongin drags the cloth along the cut. Jongin stiffens, completely paralyzed when Adrian drops his head onto his belly and breaks into a quiet sob. “A–Adrian?”

“You should have told me sooner,” Adrian whispers, his warm tears seeping into Jongin’s shirt.

“Adrian,” Jongin lets out in a petrified breath again. “You… You didn’t want me. Why would you want my—”

Adrian raises his head. “Do you seriously believe that I tricked you into sleeping with me? I get nothing from doing that, Jongin. I love you and I made love to you that night. If I wanted to hurt you, I would have done it in a worse way. You’re the last person I want to hurt and you have no idea how tortured I am… for loving you, for wanting you. I mated with you. Not being with you is a punishment itself for me.”

Jongin gets onto his feet, his cheeks and eyes burning. “I can’t believe this. Why didn’t you come for me, then?!”

Adrian springs up to his full height. “Because of everything that was going on! I couldn’t… Every time I look at you, you remind me of Kai and his betrayal. I wanted nothing to do with your family and yet, I ended up imprinting on you and falling in love with you from the first day I met you. I thought you would have… moved on. Forgotten about me. I would do that if I were you.”

Jongin wipes a tear that rolls down his cheek and snivels. “I did.”

Adrian’s face dies that moment. He lowers his eyes and nods slowly. “Then I understand why you did. I… won’t be a part of either of your lives if that’s what you want,” he stares at Jongin’s bulge for a length. “Can you do me a favour? Tell him I’m dead if he asks.”

Jongin crosses the distance between them and throws his arms around Adrian’s neck before burying his face in Adrian’s chest. He weeps as silent as he could, but the instant Adrian drops his face on Jongin’s shoulder, shedding tears of his own, Jongin gives in and wails as ferocious as he wants to.

 

* * *

 

Adrian probably hasn’t blinked for a while, Jongin thinks. They lay silently on Adrian’s bed as the room and the sky outside darkens by the minute. Jongin keeps his eyes wide open, staring into Adrian’s eyes, worried that if he fell asleep, this will all turn out to be a dream. Or Adrian won’t be there when he wakes up.

They haven’t said a word in hours. Jongin isn’t sure he wants to hear either of them talk. This is good. He wouldn’t care if he died like this.

Adrian extends a hand to run it through Jongin’s hair before cupping Jongin’s cheek. He slides closer and presses a soft, feathery kiss to Jongin’s lips. Jongin almost laughs when Adrian’s beard tickles his face.

“Oh,” Jongin rasps and Adrian pulls back.

“What is it?”

Jongin takes hold of Adrian’s hand and slips it under his shirt. “He’s doing his karate moves in there.”

Adrian’s hand almost covers Jongin’s entire bump. His eyes pop out when Nemo aggressively kicks against his palm. “Oh, my God.”

“He’s really violent.”

Adrian’s eyes widen even more when the baby kicks again. “Does it hurt?”

Jongin shakes his head. Adrian swallows and slides his hand to the small of Jongin’s back. Jongin snuggles closer and tucks his head under Adrian’s chin.

Adrian manages to fall asleep before Jongin does. If Jongin was sleepy before, he definitely is not now with the baby up and about. He will just have to wait until the baby is calm again to go to sleep.

He slips out of Adrian’s embrace, careful not to wake him up, and makes his way out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “You’re excited to see daddy, aren’t you?” he mutters, rubbing his bulge before taking a sip of the cold water.

He goes stock-still when he hears the ruffling noise outside. Taking a breath, he moves closer to the backdoor and his heart skips a beat when he finds the door unlatched.

The foreign Lycan scent catches him off-guard and he turns around only to find Sky and Finn’s brother, Dan standing behind him with a strange grin etched on his face.

“What are you doing in here?” Jongin asks. “Are you… looking for Adrian?”

“No,” he lets out. “Not really. I was just waiting for _you_ to come outside.”

“What?”

“That’s Adrian’s heir, isn’t it?” Dan says, prodding a finger into Jongin’s belly. “News spreads faster than a wildfire around here. Question is… How much would Adrian be willing to give up for you and the child?”

 

* * *

 

Adrian jolts awake to the ringing sound of a glass shattering. The room is colder than usual and when he doesn’t find Jongin beside him, his chest clenches with dread.

He bursts out of the room and races to the kitchen. He finds a shattered glass with water splattered all over the floor. The backdoor swings shut, startling him to his wits.

“Jongin,” he exhales and bolts through the backdoor.


	36. Chapter 36

Adrian doesn’t stop even at the door when he reaches the house. He kicks it down and burst into the house.

“Dan!” he roars, slamming his fist on the coffee table until it is smashed to the ground. He rips off the leg of the table and bares his fangs. His reflection on the glass cupboard looks back at him with a pair of furious ruby red eyes.

“Adrian?!” Sky gasps as he hurries down the stairs with his Mr Hazeldine right behind him. Adrian grabs Sky’s t-shirt and yanks him forward, pressing the sharp tip of the table’s leg into Sky’s throat.

“Where the fuck is Dan?!” he growls through his teeth with his blood pounding ferociously in his ears.

Sky stares at him with horrified eyes. “I don’t know! I swear. He hasn’t come home all day!”

“God, Adrian, what happened?!” Mr Hazeldine pulls Sky away from Adrian’s grip.

Finn and Mrs Hazeldine hurry downstairs with concerned etched on their faces. “What’s going on?!” Mrs Hazeldine screeches.

Adrian drops the table’s leg as his heart sinks. He swallows the tears that attack his eyes. “It’s Jongin. Dan was… there. Jongin’s gone,” he could not get the words out of his mouth.

Finn raises a hand to Adrian’s arm to calm him. “Are you sure it’s Dan?” he asks in a low voice.

“Yes! I need to find…” he trails off with his hands shaking at his sides. He has never been this terrified in his life. Not even when he saw his parents dead on the floor, drowning in their own blood.

“Fuck,” Finn lets out. “He was always hanging out with that rogue wolves you let in here a while ago. Do you think he might have brought Jongin to them? They did attack Jongin once.”

Adrian clenches his hands into fists. “Rally the pack. Every last one of them,” he orders.

“Adrian,” Mr Hazeldine stops him. “This seems more like a personal matter. Do you think it’s smart to involve the pack? We shouldn’t make the wrong move to cause a civil war between our own kind. That boy is a Pantherinae, yes? Let his Pride take care of it.”

If Finn wasn’t holding him back, Adrian would have punched the man’s teeth in. “He’s carrying my child. Is that enough reason for you to help your Alpha?” Adrian spits.

“Dan wouldn’t have done anything to him.”

“He better not have,” he snarls as he spins around and storms out of the house with Sky and Finn sprinting after him.

 

* * *

 

Julien surges into the house before Kai has even fully opened the door. “What are you—”

“What took you so long to get the door?” Julien harrumphs restlessly.

Kai blinks his eyes languidly, taking a breath. He leans against the door and crosses his arms over his chest to seem steady. “I was on the phone.”

Julien arches an eyebrow. “You’re baked, aren’t you?”

“I didn’t smoke pot. I had a beer,” Kai says. Not exactly a lie. He’s had several cans of beer, but Julien doesn’t need to know that. “What do you want?”

Shaking his head, Julien takes a step closer. “You said Adrian has a tendency to be irascible.”

“He does,” Kai mutters, trying to keep his eyes open. “Why? Oh, my God. Did you meet him?”

“Yeah. I did more than just _meet_ him. I had my fist in his face and he didn’t even flinch. It was your brilliant idea. You said he would definitely get down to a fight if I nettled him.”

“You punched him and you’re not covered in blood?” Kai feels as though someone has smacked him awake. The intoxication has drained almost completely. “Are you sure you met the right guy?”

Julien lifts his hand to his head-level. “Ye tall, ye big? Yeah, I met the right guy. He was the only one I wanted to punch over there.”

“I forgot what sort of testosterone-driven, territorial savages Lycans are,” Kai huffs. “It doesn’t sound like Adrian to just keep quiet and let you hit him, though.”

“He said he doesn’t want to fight me and called me a kid.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Adrian.” Kai starts pacing around the main hallway, rubbing the thin line stubble that is forming on his jawline, thanks to a couple of days without a shave.

“You better come up with a better plan. Otherwise, I cannot overthrow him, if he chooses to attack me with his entire pack.”

“I’ll think of something. Adrian is usually one-man army sort of guy. He doesn’t drag his pack into his personal issues.”

Julien rubs the creases of worry on his forehead. “I don’t want to be wasting my time here, Kai,” he starts towards the door and only pauses to clap a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “Come up with something quick.”

Kai nods his head. “Julien,” he calls, halting the man in his pace. “Where’s Jongin?”

“He stayed back.”

Kai cocks an eyebrow. “Stayed back where?”

“At the inn.”

“Oh.”

“He said he’d be fine. He had something to do apparently. He didn’t particularly enjoy the show when he jabbed his boyfriend in the skull.”

That surprises Kai a little. He wants to yell at Julien for bringing Jongin there in the first place, but he is far too stewed to be raising his voice right now. He just wants to down another can of beer and crash the couch in the drawing room, which isn’t comfortable in the least bit.

He slams the door shut and fumbles to fish the phone out of his jeans’ pocket as he wobbles to the kitchen. He tries to get his phone to unlock and when he fails the fifth time, he hurls the phone away and watches it smash against the refrigerator before nosediving to the ground. Clasping his hands to the sides of his head, Kai grips his jaw, biting hard on his tongue until he tastes the unpleasant metallic blood. Where is he going with any of this? He wants to be a better leader. He wants to make a name for himself. He wants to be the guy that united the Lycans and Pantherinaes after decades and decades of grievances between the two kinds. Sehun is right. What Kai truly wants is to be this guy that will be revered by all.

He didn’t want to take his grandfather’s position and yet he did. No matter how many times he tries to convince himself that he didn’t covet this power and wealth, a little voice in his head keeps telling him that he did. He married Sehun with the excuse of creating peace between their kinds, but there was a selfish reason behind it, too. His grandfather had asked him to marry Sehun so that Sehun would always have to be loyal to this household without an alternative. Kai liked having that power over the boy that had snubbed him, but had willingly befriended Jongin.

He keeps telling everyone and himself that he respects Adrian for everything that he has achieved, but a part of him envies Adrian. And another part of him wants to destroy what Adrian has and drag him down. He has been trying so hard to hide this horrendous side of him. He played the victim card with Adrian. He pulled Sehun to his side and even hoped that Adrian’s pack will avert their allegiance away from Adrian, too.

Why has he been cracking his head for the past year, trying to come up with an idea to eradicate all the power Adrian has? His excuse in the beginning was he wanted to be with Sehun. What’s his excuse now that he has Sehun? He wants to help himself by helping Adrian? What if it was all just a façade he was trying to hide behind? What if all that he was doing all this while is to avoid the inevitable, but fooling himself that he is better than his ancestors?

“I’m not my father,” he mumbles and clenches his teeth hard enough to feel the veins protrude on his temples. “I’m not my grandfather.”

He tells Sehun that he loves him. He tells him that he is different than the other Pantherinaes. And yet, he would kill a Lycan without thinking twice. He has and he will.

He is losing. He is losing again. He has always been losing. And he is so fucking tired of it.

He picks up another can of beer and drains it before reaching for a couple more. He doesn’t stop. He drags his feet lazily to the wine cellar and drops the floor after grabbing a wine bottle. It’s cold down here, but it almost doesn’t bother him at all. What’s bothering him is the sweat beads trickling down his neck. The t-shirt sticks to his body like a second skin.

 _Adrian was right_ , Sehun said. Adrian was right. Adrian is always fucking right. Kai quaffs another mouthful of the wine. Whatever hatred that Kai has recently developed for Adrian does not reflect on his affection for Sehun. Why can’t Sehun see that he is doing all this for their good? Why must he try to make everything harder than it already is?

 

* * *

 

He should leave, Sehun thinks. Not for good, but for a while, at least. It is clear that they both need some space to let off some steam. There really isn’t anything that he could do to talk Kai out of this. This is no longer about his plans to sabotage Adrian, but about the fact that Kai has zero respect for Sehun’s needs and feelings. Whatever fire there was between them six months ago is slowly dying out and having three babies is not really going help either of their case. Kai genuinely seemed fine with having the babies, though he has never really been excited about them. It seems fair. They don’t exist outside of Sehun. Kai probably finds it difficult to project his love onto someone without close proximity.

He should be okay with getting rid of the babies. Which is what stumps Sehun. It almost feels like Kai is doing this to punish him or frustrate him deliberately.

If he were to leave, where would he go? He doesn’t think Adrian would be too stocked to have him back at the inn after all the things Sehun had spat on his face. Sehun could forgive Adrian for almost hurting him, but he could find it in himself to forgive Kai for his mistake again. Maybe he doesn’t love Kai as much as he thought he did. Was choosing Kai over Adrian a good idea? What if he is stuck in an abusive marriage? Is it fair to label Kai as abusive for what he did? Sehun was out of line, too.

All these questions keep nagging at him as he sits on the edge of the bed, staring into the darkness of the room. One thing is for certain. Kai hasn’t gotten his temper under control and Sehun isn’t sure he will surrender every time Kai raises his hand. Sehun does have the tendency to fight back and it isn’t going to help him whenever they have an argument.

It feels strange. When everything is fine, it feels as though life could not be more perfect. But with a single argument, all that happiness is shattered into smithereens, like how a small, insignificant pebble could cause endless ripples on a calm water surface.

Sehun slides a hand over his bloated stomach. The babies are growing fast. If he lets this go on any longer, he is going to end up with three established lives inside him.

He jumps a little when the door behind him is banged open. Kai spills into the room and grabs onto the doorknob to steady himself. Sehun’s eyebrows furrow into a frown as Kai stumbles over to the bed after slamming the door shut.

“What are you doing?” Sehun asks, shifting his weight on the mattress to face Kai. He turns the bedside lamp on and notices Kai’s reddened cheeks and eyes.

Kai climbs onto the bed and pulls his sweaty shirt off. He forcefully shoves Sehun by the shoulder to lie down. Before Sehun could protest, Kai’s mouth ploughs into Sehun’s lips while his hand curls around Sehun’s jaw and neck to hold him in place.

Sehun’s hands fly up to push Kai off him, but it isn’t to avail as Kai mounts him, pinning Sehun down with his entire weight. Grabbing both of Sehun’s wrists, Kai presses Sehun’s hands to the pillow and deepens the kiss violently. There is nothing pleasant about the kiss. It is rough, merciless, raw and utterly desperate. Sehun cries, but his screams are swallowed by Kai as he plunges his tongue into Sehun’s mouth. Sehun isn’t sure if his heart is breaking apart or trying to leap out of his chest as tears of struggle start to fall from the corners of his eyes. He can’t even transform with the babies inside him. Terror spreads across his chest while fear sits comfortably in his stomach.

Kai only breaks the kiss when Sehun bites his lip, causing it to bleed. “Let go of me!” Sehun pleads with tears blurring his vision.

“No,” Kai spits and smashes his lips on Sehun’s neck, nipping and biting as he goes along. He fastens a hand around Sehun’s wrists, pinning them to the headboard, while the other hand fumbles to undo his belt buckle.

“Kai, stop! Stop, please, stop!” Sehun begs in a frenzy, managing to pull a hand free. He presses it to Kai’s chest and utilizes all his energy to push him away. “Please, stop! I’m pregnant! Please, Kai, you’re going to kill them!”

Kai doesn’t stop. He continues to put his entire weight onto Sehun’s stomach, his knee almost knocking into Sehun’s waist in the struggle. Sehun’s hand flings up and claws at Kai’s face, leaving four long lines of red on his cheek. Kai freezes for a moment and Sehun tries to catch his breath through the tears and sobs.

“Please,” Sehun exhales at last, his entire body shaking like he was dragged to hell and back a second ago. Kai clenches his eyes and drops his head into the crook of Sehun’s neck. They lay still for a minute before Kai heavily slips off Sehun and manages to get off the bed. He shakily wobbles out of the room and shuts the door behind him.

If Sehun has tasted fear before, he has no words to describe what he felt a moment ago when Kai didn’t stop. He pulls his knees up to his chest and stares at the door with wide and terrified eyes, praying that Kai will not walk through that door again. He trembles and gasps for air as he sobs uncontrollably.

 

 


	37. Chapter 37

He isn’t sure if the thud and pounding are inside his head or outside, but it rouses him. The thick saliva in his mouth renders it difficult to swallow as he tries to raise his head. The nape of his neck is sore and his eyelids are heavy with fatigue. God, how badly sauced was he last night that the hangover still hasn’t ebbed?

Letting out a rough groan, he pushes himself up with the help of his elbows. Everything is too bright. He squints and rubs his forehead, scanning his unclothed upper body. He smells like he is bathed in sweat and alcohol. He rubs his eyes with hilt of his palms, trying to recall something, anything that happened before he must have zonked out. When his vision is cleared, he glances around him and he blinks at the stairs beside him. He collapsed on the stairs last night?

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath and struggles to push himself up to his feet. He grabs onto the railing to steady himself on the staircase. Something stings on his cheek. He can’t remember what had even nudged him towards drinking in the first place. He recalls having Julien over. He usually heals from the hangover quick, but he must have been seriously hammered if he still hasn’t recovered.

He drags his feet upstairs and meanders unsteadily to his room, massaging the temples of his head. It has been some while since he’s been this drunk. The instant he opens the door, Sehun jumps and turns around to face Kai with a horrified expression. Kai blinks at him. “I’m just going to get my clothes,” Kai says hoarsely voice and starts towards the closet, but freezes in his tracks when his eyes land on the backpack and Sehun’s clothes strewn over the bed. He raises an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

Sehun purses his lips, averting his terrified gaze. “I… I’m leaving,” he says in a small voice.

“What?” Kai mutters, crossing the room to get to Sehun’s side, but as soon as he advances a step, Sehun retreats. “Leaving? Where to?”

“Anywhere,” Sehun lets out.

“Anywhere? Are you mad? Sehun, you’re not leaving just for a stupid argument! It’ll blow over. I already apologized over and over. Why do you have to be so headstrong?!”

“Do you really love me, Kai?” Sehun blurts out all of a sudden, looking up at Kai with tears gleaming in his eyes.

“What?”

“Answer the question.”

“What sort of a stupid question is that, Sehun? You know that I love you.”

“Then let me go,” he whispers with effort, as though his throat is blocked by agony.

Kai stands there, only staring at Sehun for a length, unsure of what to make of this. He licks his chapped lips and runs a hand through his hair. “Sehun,” he exhales in a heavy breath. “Marriages have bumps. Arguments happen.”

“I know. That is not the problem. The problem is _you_. Arguments can happen. But like Adrian, your first line of defence is to attack physically. I can’t be around you, forever with my guard up because I’ll never know when you’ll snap and try to hurt me. When you’re in a good mood, you’ll take a punch to the face and be calm about it. But when things spiral out of control for you, you turn into this… monster. To an extent, I suppose I can’t blame you for how you’re wired. But this… bipolar attitude of yours is costing me my happiness.”

Kai clenches his jaw. “I can change, Sehun. Believe me, I _have_ changed.”

“You keep saying that. I remember you calling me a scum only after our first few meetings. I remember you threatening to chop my finger off when I didn’t wear the wedding ring. I remember you telling me that I ruined your life. I remember you hitting me. I remember you spitting at me and calling me a filthy swine and a spineless worm. I remember it all, Kai! I overlooked it the minute you showed me a drop of affection because you have no idea how long I went on without any love from anyone after having lost my family. You haven’t changed, Kai. I thought you had, but after last night… it’s clear that you haven’t. I’m not even sure if you genuinely wanted me or if you were just… using me.”

“I wasn’t, Sehun,” Kai gasps. “I swear. I swear. Yes, I… I don’t why I said the things I did. I never meant any of it, Sehun,” he could not help the tears the form in his eyes. “My mother hated me for the same reason. I would say and do things that I don’t really want to and end up hurting everyone around me. Please, Sehun.”

Sehun shakes his head, retreating to the windows. “I don’t think… I love you enough to stay with you and forever dread the moment when you’ll snap, Kai. I wanted a family. Which is why I wanted these babies. But looking at how such a petty argument could lead to you turning into such a monster, I no longer have the faith.”

That crushes his heart. “You don’t mean that,” he breathes out, hauling his weight to Sehun.

“You promised you’ll let go of me,” Sehun whispers shakily. “You said you’ll let go of me when everything is over.”

“So,” Kai pauses to swallow. “Is everything over, then?”

“I think we just need a break. From each other.”

Kai crosses whatever distance there is left between them and takes Sehun’s face in his hands. He does not mind the tear that rolls down one of his cheeks as he stares into Sehun’s frightened eyes. “I’ll stop. I’ll stop everything. I’ll drop everything. We’ll go away. I’ll even give up my position as the Pride’s leader. Please, Sehun. I’m begging you. Don’t leave me.”

“Kai,” Sehun grunts. “Stop this. Please.”

“I’ll go mad if you did this to me, too, Sehun. I know I’ve made my mistakes. I know it and you don’t have to forgive me. Please, just give me another chance. I love you, Sehun. I love you. If you don’t want the children, fine. We’ll… get rid of them.”

“I don’t love you, Kai,” Sehun says at last, shoving Kai’s hands off of his face. “And I don’t know how to ever love you again after what you did.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Sehun!” Kai yaps. “You can’t just fall out of love with someone instantly! Unless you never loved the person from the beginning.”

Sehun keeps mum as he pins Kai with a guilt-stricken look.

Kai exhales a heavy breath, blinking the tears in his eyes away. “Was it just… lust, then?” he asks in a whisper. “Attraction? God, I’m so stupid. I should have known.” He sniffs and wipes the corner of his eye with the back of his hand.

“Kai, this is why we need some space. To sort things out. It will only get worse if we keep doing this.”

“My mother did the same thing. She tolerated me because I’m her son. She never really loved me. You don’t have to tolerate me just because you’re married to me. I understand. You… you would have chosen to fall for someone else if I weren’t in the way.”

There is a shift in Sehun’s expression. “Kai… It’s not like that. I did love you.”

“One fight and you no longer do?”

Sehun bites his lip. “I… I don’t know. I’m confused… I need some time away from you and from all of this.”

Kai drops on the bed and plants his head in his hands. He screwed up big time. It is so like him to make one fat mistake and the universe turns against him. “I’ll go crazy if you left, Sehun,” he mutters under his breath. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m more in love with you than you are with me. I… I don’t know why I always end up hurting people I love. I don’t know why. I’ve tried to change, Sehun. I love my mother. I loved my father. I made them both suffer. And I swear, if I had lived with Jongin all those years, I would have hurt him, too. And he knows it.”

Sehun takes a cautious seat on the bed beside Kai. “Maybe… we took things too fast. Maybe I was just… desperate. Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe I do love you. I just… I can’t think straight now.”

“Do you even want to have my children?”

Sehun frowns. “Of course, Kai. But… right now, I can’t focus on the babies. I think it would be better if we tried to work on our marriage instead of the babies.”

“I lose it sometimes,” Kai says slowly. “Something… triggers me and I lose it. It’s been happening less frequently these days because I’ve been so… so happy with you, Sehun. I’ve genuinely been the happiest I’ve been in my life. Even when things are really bad, I could take one look at you and forget all the problems. But sometimes… I just can’t handle it when the people I love… turn on me. I’m more selfish than I like to believe, Sehun,” he shifts on the mattress to face Sehun. “And a lot more egoistic than you think. I always envied Jongin for getting all the love even when he wasn’t actually present. I was there, but I was ignored. That’s how I feel with you. Like you’re ignoring me for your brother. Like everyone’s ignoring me for Adrian. So I flipped. I… I think I unconsciously sat down and started jotting down ideas on how to bring your brother down. I swear… I didn’t want to. But I did. Just like how… I wrote the ideas down to get rid of my dad from our lives.”

As he falls silent with a sob blocking his throat, Sehun continues to stare at him. “You never told me about what happened with your father.”

Kai gnaws on his tender lip, clenching his eyes for a moment. “You don’t want to know. It will only make you hate me even more.”

“Kai, while I can’t forgive you for what you did, at least try to make me understand _why_ you do these sorts of things.”

Kai blankly stares at the floor before sucking in a breath. “My dad was… he was… strange. When he was young, he’d go around, attacking Lycans with his father and when he married my mom, he’d do it with my grandfather. It went on for a while, I guess. Then they had me and Jongin. Things settled down for a while. My mom said she was the happiest at that time. Then shit hit the fan again. Their marriage had always been rocky from the beginning. My dad would hurt her and in return she’d hit him back. She won most of the time because my dad gives up a lot. It’s like… he starts the fight, but he won’t be the one ending it. Like something possesses him and makes him do such things, which he comes to regret later on. Not just with my mom, but he started picking up fights with everyone. People thought he had anger management issues and was horribly bad-tempered. Random men would show up at our house, demanding compensation. Then it got worse. So, my mom sent me and Jongin to live with our grandfather for a few years. My dad visited from time to time. But one day, he just stopped. After a while, my mom took me with her, worrying that all this influence around me would turn me into a monster like my father. I don’t think the environment has a lot to do with it. She left Jongin here because even at that age, it was quite clear that he will never shapeshift. And she could only take care of one of us. I went with her. As I grew older, my mom hated me even more. I have my father’s hair,” he smiles lifelessly at that. “And he was a Snow Leopard, too. I’d call her bitch whenever she upsets me. I’d thrash her stuff. I’d embarrass her in front of her friends. But… I wanted her love, you know. I wanted her affection. She just… didn’t care. And I don’t think I made it any easier. Then one day, my dad showed up. He wanted to… He was trying to be nice. It’s all blurry. He said something about my mom and I… I flipped. I transformed and I remember breaking his jaw and snapping his neck. My mother… resented me even more after that. I killed my father. I never wanted that… but at that instant, all that I wanted was to see him bleed and die.” The images flash vividly before his eyes. He clenches them tightly as a hot tear rolls down his cheek.

He lets out a trembling breath when he feels Sehun’s soft and warm digits caress his shoulder blade. “I am so sorry,” Sehun breathes out, settling his head on Kai’s shoulder. “I had no idea.” Kai is a little surprised that Sehun hasn’t bolted for the door yet.

“I didn’t want to kill him, Sehun. I didn’t want to kill anyone that I did. I promise, when I hit you, it wasn’t that kind of anger. I was mad. Mad at you for saying such things. You were out of line and Jongin is so precious to me, Sehun. I’m not your friend or even your boyfriend to just stand back and let you say whatever that you want to say. I’m your husband and I know that it doesn’t entitle me to the right of hurting you, you shouldn’t have to forgive me for that. You can hit me back as much as you want. You have no idea how tormented I was thinking about how I’ve hurt you that night again and again. It was a mistake, Sehun. I swear, I have changed.”

Sehun raises his head. “You… don’t remember about what happened last night, do you?”

Kai blinks at him. “What? I was drunk.”

Sehun hangs his head.

“Sehun, what did I do? Did I… hurt you?”

“You almost did,” Sehun murmurs. “Did you at least regret having killed you father?”

“You’ve no idea,” Kai drops to his knees on the ground and takes Sehun’s hands into his own. “I’m so fucking sorry, Sehun. I’m sorry that I’ve been so despicable that you can’t even love me anymore. Please, don’t leave.”

A frown pulls Sehun’s eyebrows together. He frees a hand from Kai’s grip to stroke a side of Kai’s face. It stings there. Kai wonders if there is a cut on his cheek. “You’re not your father,” Sehun whispers. “But…”

“You can’t stay,” Kai lets out defeatedly.

Sehun lowers his gaze in a silent nod. “I think it’s for the best.”

“I’ll go half-crazy, Sehun.”

“Maybe some distance could help us realize what we really want. Kai, I promise you, I was happy with you, too. But I’m… I’m just so stressed and all that I want is to be away from you for a while.”

Kai licks his lips and bows his head. “All right,” he sighs and rises to his full height. “If… that’s what you really want, I won’t stop you. But please, let me know where you are.”

Sehun worries his lip for a second. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Kai surveys Sehun’s beautiful face which is now frightened to paleness. “Sehun… what happened last night?”

Sehun shakes his head, managing an insincere smile. “Let’s not talk about it.”

Kai does not push him any further as he turns to finish the packing. Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Kai crosses his arms over his chest, trying to rack his brain for a way to stop Sehun from leaving. It feels like the time his mother kicked him out of the apartment for one night when he came home stoned. He doesn’t want to let go of Sehun. It feels as though his heart is being ripped out of his chest.

That is the moment he truly realizes how painful loving someone can be. Especially when they no longer want you.

“Sehun,” he says softly, taking hold of Sehun’s hand. Sehun looks up at him with puffy red eyes and sniffs. “I’m sorry for those things I said. Scum… spineless worm. I want you to know that… I will never forgive myself for that.”

Sehun retrieves his hand and nods before zipping the bag up. “I said some pretty mean things, too. I’m sorry. I… didn’t really mean anything I said about Jongin either. And thank you for not telling him about it.”

“Snitches get stitches, right?” Kai smirks while his heart continues to shatter into smithereens.

Sehun raises a hand to cup the back of Kai’s neck. He presses a soft, chaste kiss to Kai’s lips before pulling away immediately. A goodbye kiss. “I… I’m going to think about not getting rid of the babies just yet.”

Kai nods his head curtly. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Sehun mutters and proceeds out of the room with the backpack slung over his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

By the time they reach the nightclub, Adrian has already lost all of his patience and composure. He is on the brink of bursting into his true form. Besides Sky, Kris, Thea and Finn, some of the pack members decided to back him up and though more would extend their aid if Adrian asked for it, for the time being, he believes they alone are enough to threaten Lara and her pack into submission. She wouldn’t pick a fight with Adrian. It would be a stupid move.

But if Jongin is indeed in her custody, then she has a leverage against Adrian.

He shoves past the bouncer as he hurries into the nightclub and doesn’t stop until he has raced up to the Lara’s personal quarters. “Where is he?!” he cries when he finds her seated on the settee, laughing cordially with a couple of male Lycans, one of which is the redhead Adrian would have the pleasure killing right now.

He lunges at Dan at once but Lara and another Lycan obstruct him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You cannot march in here and attacks my pack, Adrian,” Lara says, clicking her tongue. “This is my territory.”

“I’m trying to attack _your_ pack,” he spits and lurches forward. His hand grabs Dan’s shirt collar and without thinking twice, he drives his fist into Dan’s jaw. “Where is he?!” he roars, ramming Dan up against the wall. “You fucking traitor!”

Before he could land a second punch, he is yanked back by a number of Lycans. He snarls as his fangs push out and his senses sharpen threateningly. Kris and Sky are the first to burst in, followed by the rest.

“Easy there. You don’t want a fight,” Lara warns them, halting them. “Adrian, you might want to be a little more diplomatic here if you don’t want your little whoreboy harmed.”

“I will kill you all if anything happens to him!”

“Tsk,” she sighs. “Why would I have hurt him already? He’s apparently in high demand everywhere. Thanks to the little nugget growing inside him. Very valuable. But tempt me and I will have him harmed.”

Adrian pants, refraining himself from transforming and ripping all of their heads off. He thinks about Jongin and gasps for air. “Please, Lara,” he begs. “Let him go. If you’re mad at me, then take it out on _me_. Leave him out of this.”

“I gave you a perfect opportunity to be King of the wolves. The mighty Alpha with me by your side. But you refused because of your little love for the filthy Pantherinae, whose ancestors have killed countless of our kind, whose grandfather murdered our families! You’re pathetic, Adrian. No, actually, you’re beyond pathetic. You’re a sorry excuse for a Lycan. You don’t deserve to lead a pack. You don’t deserve to be Alpha.”

“What do you want?!” he growls through his teeth. “Name it. Stop beating about the bush!”

Lara crosses her arms over her chest and smiles. “Simple. Step down. Yield. Hand over your pack… to me.”

Adrian had expected just as much. He closes his eyes for a second and draws in a breath. For years, the pack was his only family, his only solace. He had built it from a scratch. He had provided a sense of a safe home for all Lycans that were abandoned and orphaned like him. All those without a pack to protect them. They were all brothers and sisters. He was there for all of them when they needed help.

Jongin is his family now.

He drops to his knees. His chest burns and the words are stuck in his throat. “I abdicate,” he lets out, hanging his head.

“Adrian!” he hears Thea rasp in the back.

“No, Adrian,” Sky cries out.

Lara crouches to the ground with a wild grin plastered on her face. “I didn’t hear you,” she says.

Swallowing hard, Adrian looks up at her with a clenched jaw. “I abdicate as the Alpha of my pack. I yield to you. My pack is yours.”

Letting out a chuckle, Lara rises to her feet. “Well, then. I hereby exile you,” she declares, ruffling Adrian’s hair. “You are not allowed to step foot in my territory in both Harvington and Itcara. You have one day to find a new home. See. That wasn’t so difficult.”

Adrian shoots up. “Tell me where Jongin is!”

“Oh, right. I almost forgot. Do you remember the old shack we used to fool around at in the south of Itcara? He’s safe and sound there… I think.”

Adrian shoves the Lycans aside as he bolts past them. He comes to a jerky halt when he realizes his pack members are no longer following him. He pins Thea with a sombre look and she frowns back at him with a pair of apologetic eyes.

They no longer have to help or obey him.

“Adrian,” Thea calls, but she stops when Lara orders to stand back. Adrian does not stall another minute as he bolts out of the nightclub.

 

* * *

 

It surprises Adrian that the shack still stands sturdy in the forest. This part of Itcara and the woods isn’t his territory, or _wasn’t_ his territory. It has been many years since he was last here. He dies with each passing minute as fear wraps itself securely around his heart. He couldn’t think about losing his pack, all that he could think about losing Jongin again.

He kicks the shack’s door open and he feels his heartbeat in his eyes when he finds Jongin unconscious on the ground, his hands tied at the back, roped to the broken chain on the shack’s wall, clad in only a shirt and a pair of pants with no extra layers to protect him from the cold.

“Jongin!” Adrian cries, crashing to the ground and takes Jongin’s limp face into his hands. “Jongin?”

He is breathing. Adrian could hear the baby’s heartbeat as well when he heightens his senses. But there is absolutely no colour in Jongin’s face. He looks like a breathing corpse.

“Jongin!” he tries to wake him up while hastily ripping the ropes apart.

“A… Adrian?” Jongin exhales and Adrian straightens up, grabbing the sides of Jongin’s head.

“Hey, hey. Are you okay?”

A muffled scream escapes Jongin’s lips and without any warning, he breaks into a loud, painful cry. Adrian freezes, unsure of what’s hurting him.

“Jongin?!” he gasps. His head hurts like it is about to explode as Jongin continues to scream for help, clutching his stomach.

“Get me… to the hosp—” Jongin does not finish as he breaks into another cry. Adrian lifts him up into his arms at once and bolts out of the shack. He could get to the road, but he isn’t sure if he’ll get any ride. The inn is too far from here, the town would take at least an hour even if he ran all the way there. He is bloody sure he won’t get an ambulance even if he manages to get his hand on a phone.

Adrian’s eyes burn with tears as he races past the trees with Jongin clinging to his neck. His cries break through the silent ambience of the forest. How long has he been going through the pain? Did he pass out due to it or has the pain just started?

“No, no, I c-can’t!” Jongin wails, clenching his teeth so hard that he might break his jaw.

“Hold on a little longer,” Adrian says, letting his tears shed all over Jongin.

“I can’t! P-please…” Jongin starts to slip from his grip and Adrian stops. He lays Jongin down on the ground and wipes the sweat from Jongin’s face.

“It’s going to be okay,” he says, uncertain of whether he is trying to convince himself or Jongin. “Jongin, I can run faster and get help if I shifted. But I’ll have to leave you here.”

Jongin shakes his head. “No,” he huffs, panting in pain. Adrian has seen people die, but he has never seen anyone go through such an agonizing pain. It hurts to even watch. “H-he w-won’t… make it,” Jongin says in short breaths. His is bathed in sweat and is running out of breath.

Adrian unconsciously cries as blood pounds in his ears. He tries to lift Jongin back up into his arms, but Jongin shakes his head, pressing a hand to Adrian’s chest.

“Rip… h-him out,” he gasps, his eyes rolling back as his body arches off the ground.

“What?”

“Please,” Jongin cries. “Please. R-rip him… ah… out of m-me… Or he’ll… d-die.”

Jongin’s cries and words ring in Adrian’s ears as he stares at Jongin, paralyzed with a fright he has never dealt with. “What are you… Come on,” he pulls Jongin into his arms again, but Jongin shoves him away.

“We’ll both die, Adrian!” he shouts, crying hard. “At least… s-save him.”

The world falls into a sudden silence around him. His hands tremble while tears blind his eyes. He shuts them for a moment and the first image that surges into his mind is the first time he saw Jongin. Hesitant, shy, incredibly polite. The little smile he threw in Adrian’s way, that both killed a part of Adrian and saved a part of him that he thought was lost forever.

He opens his eyes, raising his shaking hands and rips Jongin’s shirt open.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, lovelies! As promised, I am retiring after completing this fic :D Plus, my girlfriend and I are having the best time of our lives, and she urges me to get rid of all the negativity in life. Including stress. So, yes. I am retiring as I told you I would some months ago. Now, that's out of the way, let's talk business. I'll not be abandoning the other fics, but you'll have to wait until I have written them the last the dot for me to post them. There'll be an epilogue to this story (maybe in two parts), so this isn't exactly the final chapter, but yeah. We're nearing the end! Yippee! I also wrote a Jongdrian oneshot a while ago, but was hesitant to post it. But now I've decided to post it on my site. So keep a weather eye out. I initially wanted to drag this chapter out into two or three, but it just seemed too... draggy. So, I managed to pack it all in one chapter. Thanks for the kudos and encouraging comments. I just wrote 110,000+ worded story in just three months! That's a record. Also explains the lazy writing and unforgivable mistakes lol. Okay, enjoy the read <3

He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking, the tremor at odds with his usual composure. Regardless of how he handled his personal state of affairs when one of his own is in danger, he has never been hesitant to demonstrate a seamless transition between imperturbability and immediate initiative to protect. But his reluctance and fear now are costing Jongin a part of his life.

“A-Adrian,” Jongin says between the sharp intakes of breaths. Blood pulses in Adrian’s temples as he lays his hands on Jongin’s bulging belly. He feels the baby twitch under his warm, trembling touch. Terror settles in his chest, deep-seated.

Blinking through the blinding tears, Adrian shakes his head. “I can’t… do this, Jongin,” he lets out and hopes that Jongin hears his plea. There has to be another way.

Jongin’s cries are dying like the embers of once a wrathful fire. His body stops fighting as he starts to lose his consciousness.

“Jongin?” Adrian whispers, taking Jongin’s face in his hands. The icy grief numbs Adrian’s veins. Cradling Jongin’s head in his arms, he thinks that _anything_ would be better than to rip Jongin open here or just let them both die.

Just when he is about to lift Jongin’s weight back into arms, the strong scent that floods the part of woods deadens any residue of Adrian’s composure into an insensate consternation. His body is ready for a fight by the skin of his teeth. He will not be able to handle a fight right now, let alone win a victory over it.

His heart sinks further when the new Lycan in town emerges from the trees, his expression weary with a flummoxed stupefaction. Julien, Adrian recalls the name. “What the…” Julien breathes out, gawking at Jongin in Adrian’s arms.

“Help me, please,” Adrian begs. He knows Julien has no reason to help him, but Jongin must be his friend. They had shown up at the inn together. “Help _him_.”

“Come! Quick!” Julien is fast to act on his feet as he spins around and leads the way to his car. Jongin lays limp and exhausted against Adrian’s chest as Adrian bolts after Julien.

 

* * *

 

They reach the hospital in the nick of time. Jongin has completely lost his consciousness by the time he is rushed into the emergency ward.

“Sir, I need you to stay outside,” a nurse orders when Adrian does not stop at the door.

“He’s the father,” Julien argues.

“It doesn’t matter. He needs a surgery,” the nurse says. “Calm down. He will be all right.”

Adrian does not buy a word of it and he could stop neither the tears threatening his eyes nor his blood from ripping his skull open. “Adrian,” he hears Jongin’s drowsy rasp and a pang of fear skips a beat of his heart.

“Wait,” he huffs and races to the gurney’s side. “Jongin, you’re going to be all right.” he isn’t sure if he is trying to dispel Jongin’s misgivings or his own.

“Sir,” one of the nurses urges.

Adrian gently cups a side of Jongin’s face and presses a soft kiss on Jongin’s tender, surrendered lips. As they bring Jongin away, Adrian loses all remaining equanimity and drops to the floor, sliding against the wall.

The fright is real. No matter how much he tries to convince himself otherwise, he keeps finding a way to blame it all on himself. He feels sick to the very last brain cell. He should never have met Jongin. He should never have fallen for him. He should never have made a move on him. He should never have let Jongin come back to him. It is almost comical how Adrian always manages to lose the people he cares about the most. His parents, Lara, Sehun, the pack and now… Jongin.

Julien lowers to a crouch and clasps Adrian’s shoulder with a hand when he returns after signing some papers. “Come on, mate. He’ll be fine,” he says.

Adrian shakes his head. “I’m losing everything,” he lets out in a throaty whisper.

Huffing with dismay, Julien drops to sit beside Adrian on the floor. “I don’t know your story, man. But… in spite of whatever mistakes that you made, I don’t think you’re a bad person. Good things happen to us all regardless of what we did in the past.”

“Nothing good has happened to me in a long time,” Adrian murmurs, leaning his head back against the wall. He has stopped fighting the tears a while ago. He welcomes the numbness that spreads across his body, paralyzing his nerves. “I will never forgive myself if anything happens to him.”

They sit in silence for hours until Adrian opts for the chairs instead of the floor. Julien grabs him a cup of coffee, which Adrian politely declines.

“It’s been hours! What’s taking them so long?” Adrian says in a gruff, desperate voice, planting his head in his hands.

“I called his brother,” Julien says, patting on Adrian’s back. “He’s not picking up.”

Adrian cups his nose and mouth, staring impatiently at the doors. Doctors and nurses keep entering and exiting without any enlightenment for Adrian. As the hours stretch, his body tenses up with an abundant amount of trepidation that he has to fight the hunger to burst into that room.

“He’s so brave,” Adrian speaks his thought out loud.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t know how he could be so… fearless and confident in what he wants. He… wanted me to rip him open.”

Julien falls silent again for a moment.

“Why were you there?” he asks the question that has been nagging at him for hours.

Julien looks a little embarrassed. “I was… in Harvington, checking out a nightclub and I saw you. I followed you. I was hoping that you would be up to something crazy. Well, I wasn’t that far-fetched with the guess.”

Adrian takes a breath. “I lost the pack,” he mutters. “Just handed it over to Lara on a silver platter.”

“Lara? That basic bitch of Harvington?”

“You know her?”

“Yeah. Met her once, heard about her a couple of times. Why did you do that?”

Adrian does not need a revisit to that vulnerable moment, but he figures he could at least talk to bide the time and distract himself. However, every word that leaves his mouth causes him to lose heart bit by bit. “She held Jongin hostage and forced my hand.”

“Wow. And you… chose Jongin instead of your… pack.”

“He’s all the pack I need,” Adrian breathes out, scrubbing his face with his rough palms.

Julien silently reads Adrian’s expression for a length. “Everyone implied that you’re an arsehole. If I had known you’re such a softie, I wouldn’t have punched you in the face.”

Adrian presses his lips into a thin smile, which takes up all of his energy. “Sorry. I’m no longer an Alpha for you to fight.”

“No. But you made my job a lot easier now. Lara has your pack _and_ hers. It’ll be easier to bring _her_ down than to defeat _you_. Besides, she’s already offered me an invitation to be her friend.”

Adrian pays little mind to that. All that he cares about right now is Jongin. Jongin, who has a Pride, a family, and yet, is alone. As alone as Adrian has been even with his pack all those years. He clamps his hands around his head and focuses on his breathing.

“You’re… not going to try and get your pack back?” Julien asks, as though to make conversation and divert Adrian’s attention.

Adrian shakes his head lightly. “I abandoned them for a Pantherinae. They wouldn’t want me back. And I’m not sure I do either.”

“I’m sorry about everything.”

“Thank you. For… being here. You are a godsend, I hope you know that. Otherwise, I would have lost him… and the baby.”

“I know what losing a family feels like.”

“Yeah. I can never seem to catch a break from what it feels like.”

“Don’t you guys have any other family?” Julien inquires after a moment with a heavy sigh. “I’m a stranger, who initially wanted to antagonize you, but… I’m here.”

Adrian scoffs out a mocking breath. “Ironic, huh? He’s paying the price for _all_ of my mistakes.” He swallows the burning bile that rises up his throat.

“Like you said. He’s brave and boy, I don’t really know him that well, but I haven’t met someone with that strong of a willpower before.”

Adrian has no clue what Julien’s angle is, but he is grateful that, stranger or not, Julien is here.

“Hi, are you Adrian?” Adrian raises his head to address the doctor behind the facial mask and shoots up to his feet.

“Yes,” he says sharply.

“I’m Dr Heath. I happen to be Jongin’s family doctor and I just received reports of the undergoing surgery. We have to talk.”

“Is he all right?!” is all that Adrian could manage to get out of his lungs.

The doctor lowers his head. “The baby is fine. However, we have complications with Jongin. He’s going through postpartum bleeding and is not recovering fast enough. His body is giving up and we also worry there might be some infections. We’ve run out of his blood type. It’s very rare, but we’ve telephoned every hospital there is nearby and if they have a supply, it would still take some time to get it transferred here. I gave Kai, his brother a phone call, but it wasn’t answered. I tried calling his uncles and aunts, but no one seems to be living close to the Marion. If you could get Kai here, we could start the blood transfusion immediately. They share the same blood type. Otherwise, the poor boy is going to be facing more trouble.”

Adrian, disheartened and crushed, turns to face Julien. “I’ll make a quick run,” Julien offers at once and is already hot on his feet as he spins around and sprints out of the hospital wing.

“Doctor,” Adrian beseeches. “He’s going to be okay, right?”

A frown crinkles the bridge of the man’s nose. “I have watched Jongin grow up all my life. I have never thought I’d see him like this. I did warn him that this pregnancy is more than what he could take.”

Adrian blinks. “What? What do you mean?”

“I’m guessing he didn’t tell you. It says here that you are the father,” he points the clipboard he’s holding. “You are the man who… left him.”

If Adrian hadn’t already been hurting to the core, the words would have stung. “What did you mean by this pregnancy was more than what he could take?”

“He knew he was heading for the rocks,” the doctor sighs sadly. “He was so… stubborn. And now it might cost him his…” he trails off and Adrian isn’t sure he wants to hear it either. The doctor gives him a comforting pat on the arm. “Let’s hope Kai gets here fast enough.”

 

* * *

 

“Adrian!” Julien cries when he returns, covered in sweat beads and exhaustion.

“Where is he?” Adrian demands, jolting up to his full height.

Julien shakes his head, his lips forming a thin line of dejection. “He’s fucking drunk and unconscious. I found him on the kitchen floor.”

Adrian sinks to the seat, clutching his hair.

“You’re back,” the doctor says with apprehension as he approaches them. “Is Kai here?”

“He’s drunk, Doctor,” Julien says. “Like… totally drunk. I thought of throwing him in the backseat and driving over, but he’s completely out of his wits, Doctor.”

The doctor heaves a disappointed breath, rubbing his forehead. “We can’t take his blood, then. Jongin is suffering from multiple infections. His body isn’t accepting our medication either. It’s refusing antibodies. God, this is a mess.”

“Please, Doctor,” Ariann begs, rising to his feet again. “Please, save him.”

Dr Heath hangs his head, licking his lips. “We’re all trying. But there’s only so much his body can take before it gives in.”

Julien’s arm snakes over Adrian’s back for solace. “There must be another way,” Julien says as Adrian tries to stop his ears from ringing and the murderous pounding in his head.

“What are you saying?” Adrian asks the doctor in a small voice.

“Can I have a word with you in my room?”

Adrian drags his weight, following the doctor into his office where he hands a nurse a file and takes his seat at his desk, wiping the tears with a tissue.

“We’d… give him a night,” the doctor mutters, tears clearly glossing his eyes. “If his body keeps rejecting external aid, there is nothing that we could do. Even with a blood transfusion, he’s too weak to recover fast enough. It’s very difficult to treat him in his condition, especially since he’s a weak Shapeshifter. If he shows no improvement overnight, he might not make it to the day,” the doctor says, rubbing tears out of his eyes. “We’ll try our best, Adrian. But it might not be enough.”

Adrian blinks the tears welled up in his eyes, eyelashes clumped together. “Can I,” he says in a mere whisper. “see him?”

The doctor nods. “Not yet. But soon. You’ll get to see both of them.”

Adrian acknowledges the doctor’s faint smile and turns around to exit the room. He should not crash down and yield to his agony. He needs to stay strong. He needs have to faith and he needs to have hope. He lost his family once, he isn’t going to lose it again.

“Adrian,” the doctor calls, halting him dead in his tracks. “There is… something else you should know.”

Adrian braces himself for more bad news, but he is not certain he harbours the strength in his heart for any more of this calamity.

“The baby isn’t… healthy.”

Adrian grips his jaw, clenching his fists. “What’s wrong?” he asks dully.

The doctor looks conflicted. “I’m not sure you’d want to hear this right now, but… I think you should know this so that you won’t be too surprised later. The baby has some… physical complications. Jongin’s previous foetal ultrasounds detected, um… a possible condition called spina bifida. Jongin was warned and he chose to keep the baby. Records suggest he was receiving treatments, but… they did not help. I understand this might be a lot for you take in, but simply put, the baby would… have a difficulty to walk. I can enlighten you on the other effects of the condition later. That… isn’t the only thing. We suspect that he might have problems with his vision. We can’t be sure for now since his eyesight is not fully developed, but we know for a fact that his hearing is impaired. The results of the screen just came back and… it says that he’s deaf.”

 

* * *

 

“Here,” Julien hands him a water bottle, which Adrian ignores. “Oh, come on. You’re not going to make the time fly faster by starving yourself.”

Letting out a sigh, Adrian accepts the bottle and downs a mouthful of cold water. It hits the empty spot with a thud. The aftertaste of rain hovers in the air inside the hospital. Night has befallen them, or that is what Adrian thinks when he checks the time on the clock. He is no longer sure if it is day or night or how long he has been here. Every passing minute is another step closer to the hell he has been trying to avoid.

“You should go home,” he tells Julien hoarsely.

“I’m fine.”

“I appreciate you being here, but you don’t have to. You don’t owe us anything. You’ve already helped us enough.”

“Oh, shut up. Men like us only pretend to be tough. I would have given a lot to have a friend by my side when I lost my family.”

A corner of Adrian’s lips twitch, but he doesn’t have it in him to smile. “The doctor told me a few hours ago that… the baby is… disabled.”

“What?”

“Deaf, possibly blind, and can’t walk. That’s all that I understood.”

“Fuck,” Julien lets out. “This is a shitstorm. I’m so sorry.”

“I just don’t know… how crushed… Jongin is going to be,” he rubs his eyes, resting his forehead in his hand.

“Well, at least there hasn’t been a bad news in a while.” He claps on Adrian’s back.

“Adrian?”

Adrian shoots up without blinking when his name is called. “Yes?!”

Another doctor smiles in his way. “Jongin is awake. You may go see him. He’s in there.”

Adrian exchanges an astonished glance with a beaming Julien and races to the ward, following the doctor’s direction. When he reaches the doors, he pauses to suck in a nervous breath. He wants the low, merciless thrum on the lower back of his head to stop along with the trembling. “Go on,” Julien encourages softly behind him.

Screwing his eyes shut for a moment and drawing another breath, he pushes the door open. The nurse regards him with a surprised smile as she fixes the IV line. Adrian’s gaze shift from the empty cradle to Jongin, who is lying motionless on the bed with the baby at his side with an arm safely moating the sleeping child. Adrian’s heart shatters at the sight of Jongin, weak and colourless. He almost lets out a hoarse expletive if he had found the strength.

“Hey,” Adrian whispers, forcing himself to push past the grief and guilt as he walks over to Jongin’s bedside. Jongin’s pale, dead lips curl into a very feeble smile over the nasal cannula running across his face.

“Hey,” he lets out with struggle. Adrian drops to his knees on the ground and lifts a gentle hand to stroke Jongin’s weather-beaten cheek. Jongin’s gaze flits to the baby, tacitly begging Adrian to look at the baby instead. Adrian obliges without protest.

Adrian could not find it in his heart to look at the child with anything shy of disappointment. He is beautiful. Rosy cheeks and lips, that smack once in a while when he twitches, long eyelashes, cute button nose, fair skin. But so, so, so small that he could slip from Adrian’s hands. Adrian lets out a soft chuckle with tears stinging in his eyes as he picks the baby up in his hands. So tiny. So fragile. The baby’s head is not even as big as Adrian’s palm.

His heart skips a dozen of beats in a minute. He thought he might die from the joy. This child, this boy is his. He has made many, many mistakes in life. But this is not one of them.

“Nemo,” Jongin exhales laboriously.

“What?”

“His… name,” he smiles in pain.

“Nemo,” Adrian mutters, brushing his lips against the baby’s forehead. He quickly settles the baby back in Jongin’s protection and takes hold of Jongin’s hand, careful not to bother the IV. He kisses Jongin’s knuckles and pulls the hand to his chest. “I should have asked this a long time ago. Jongin,” he swallows. “Will you marry me?”

Jongin’s eyes widen, but even that small reaction seems to expend a large amount of energy. “Wh… what?”

“Marry me. Here and now.”

The nurse watches with great intent in the corner, grinning from ear to ear with her hands clasped together before her chest, as though she is ready to celebrate.

“A… Adrian. Why?” Jongin whispers as a bead of tear rolls down the corner of his eye. “I’m going to… die.”

“Shh. Don’t say that.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I fucking want to, Jongin. Will you just shut up and marry me?”

Jongin’s lifeless eyes bore into Adrian’s face for a moment. As tears collect in those death-edging eyes, Jongin breathes out a “yes”.

“Fuck yes,” Julien hisses somewhere in the back. “I’ll go wake the marriage officiant and drag his arse here stat!” And he is gone, bolting out of the room.

“I’ll get flowers!” the nurse squeals and leaves the room as well.

Adrian smiles, resting his forehead atop Jongin’s. “He’s so beautiful,” he says in a muted tone, stroking the baby’s soft cheek with the back of his forefinger.

“He’s… perfect.”

 

* * *

 

The officiant considers the doctors, nurses, Adrian and Jongin in the room with a drowsy look for a moment and when he turns to Julien who snarls threateningly at him, he gulps nervously.

“Do you, Adrian, take this man, Jongin, to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the officiant asks.

“I do,” Adrian says, keeping his eyes on Jongin’s faint smile as he continues to kneel by the bed without letting Jongin’s hand go.

“Then, do you, Jongin, take this man, Adrian, to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Yes,” Jongin puffs out sleepily, on the verge of passing out. “I do.”

“I pronounce you spouses for life until death do you part.”

Adrian cups a side of Jongin’s jaw and lays a light kiss on Jongin’s lower lip as the witnesses cheer them with a round of subtle applause.

“I love you, Jongin,” he whispers against Jongin’s temple as Jongin’s eyelids fall heavier by the second. His cold digits enclose around Adrian’s fingers. Adrian does not bother him any further and lets him sleep peacefully.

“You should leave,” Adrian hears a doctor’s advice in a faint echo. Julien drags him up to his feet and as everything blurs around him, he hears a cacophony of incoherent voices. The doctors and nurses encompass Jongin and the doors are shut with Adrian on the other side.

He waits. He isn’t sure what he is waiting for any more, but he waits, his brain numb with emptiness. The impatience is replaced by a sense of deadness.

The door opens and a nurse steps out. “During labour, he told us to write down a message for you in case he doesn’t make it,” she says and hands Adrian a piece of paper. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

As she walks away, Adrian unfolds the paper and reads the messily scribbled content.

_Dear Adrian. Thank you for giving me a purpose to live and to die. I love you._

 

* * *

 

The magnitude of bereavement is heavy in everyone’s eyes. Kai’s especially in particular. Pale waxy faces fill the arena. Some familiar, most foreign. Everyone has their favourite, cherished memory of Jongin to share. The frigid air adds to the despondency. Adrian would not have been able to afford such a grand service, but Kai had taken it upon himself to punish himself by doing everything on his own. Many offer their best memories of Jongin, all of them allowing Adrian to learn a little more about Jongin. On the face of it, it seems that Jongin has been nothing short of generous to every last one of them that attended the service. And it is attended by countless people.

Adrian, clad in a black suit for the first time since his teenage years, sits in the front row with Kai at his side.

“To many of us, he was a friend, a son, a brother, a lover,” Kai says, choking on a sob during presenting his eulogy. “To me, he was all that and he was more. He was my best friend, my other half. I can go on for hours talking about how kind and passionate Jongin was. I remember my big fight with him one day. It was over who was ‘mommy’s favourite’,” Adrian glances to Kai’s mother, whom he had met only a couple of days ago. “I was mad that he insisted that our mother had bought him a bigger bar of chocolate,” Kai lets out a laugh. “I was too young to understand that he said it because he had given me half of his chocolate and was trying to convince me that he had enough, too. I took it the wrong way and I had yelled at him. I thought he was riling me up and gloating about his big bar of chocolate. Jongin ended up crying and called me a meanie. He even hurled his remaining half bar of the chocolate at my head and ran away. That was my biggest fight with him,” he blinks his watery eyes and looks down for a moment. “He was a perfect brother. He was always lost in his own world and never bothered anyone else’s. That was one of the best things about him. He… left an empty spot in my heart that can never be filled again. Unless I get another twin brother, who had been with me from the moment I existed in my mother’s womb. He was loved. By absolutely everyone. I think that is clear, looking at how many of you showed up to send him away. Thank you for coming today. I know that the distance between us is unimaginably great. But he will always remain in our hearts. He was strong. Stronger than us all. He said he can and he did. He persisted. While everyone worried about _what if I fall_ , Jongin thought, _oh, my, but what if I fly?_ He left us all with a precious gift, my beloved nephew, who I hope will grow up to be as confident and steadfast as Jongin. I quote one of his favourite songs, dear Jongin, you: You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains You raise me up to walk on stormy seas I am strong when I am on your shoulders You raise me up to more than I can be. Jongin, you will _forever_ be remembered in all of our hearts. I love you.”

Grey and black seep into every corner. Adrian closes his eyes, letting the grief wash over him again. Kai’s mother sobs into her hands as more than a few people wipe their tears from their cheeks.

Adrian pushes himself up to his feet and walks over to the casket. He lifts it up at the front corner as Kai, Chanyeol, Kris, Finn and Sky hoist the rest of the weight.

 

* * *

 

“Here he is,” Kai’s mother chimes as she returns the baby to Adrian after hours of coddling him. “He’s so charming,” she remarks, gently pinching clueless Nemo’s cheek.

Adrian smiles at the baby and presses a kiss to its head.

“Take care, Adrian,” Kris interrupts them as he, Thea, Sky, and Finn prepare to leave the hall.

“Thank you for coming,” Kai’s mother says with a pleasant smile. She is a nice woman, Adrian thinks. She reminds him a lot of his own mother. Especially her long brown hair, streaked with grey.

Thea pecks on Adrian’s cheek and blows on Nemo’s cheek before walking away with her brother.

Sky and Finn keep their goodbyes brief as well. This is a territory of the Pantherinaes, anyway. Besides, they might get into trouble with their new Alpha if they spent a moment longer here.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay with him?” Kai’s mother inquires, stroking the baby’s head. Nemo stares at nothing. His eyes are always static, unmoving. And whenever he’s not crying, he lifts his hands to touch wherever he could reach. Adrian’s face is most often the victim. “I could take him, Adrian,” she offers. “I’ll be able to raise him.”

Adrian sighs. “Thank you, but… he’s all the family I have now.”

She smiles. “I understand. But don’t be afraid to ask for help, okay? It’s my grandson after all. Whatever you need, all right? Money, place to live, anything.”

“Adrian,” Kai calls, walking over to him with his jacket in his hand. “Mom,” he greets his mother sourly with a nod of his head. Sehun excuses himself from a guest and meanders his way to the group as well. Adrian suspects Kai has not gotten over their differences, but Adrian has long lost his thirst for vengeance. He could not even muster the anger to take revenge on Lara. It’s as though all the resentment and temper have died out the instant Adrian brought the baby home in his arms.

“That was a great speech, Kai,” his mother says, rubbing Kai’s back. Kai looks a little surprised by the gesture.

“What are you going to do next, Adrian?” Sehun asks. Adrian has also learned that Sehun has been staying in a cheap motel in Itcara for the past few weeks. When he had asked him what had happened between him and Kai, Sehun had simply said that they are taking a break from each other. “You can’t live in Itcara or in Harvington.”

Adrian sighs, hugging the baby closer to his chest. “I don’t want to. I’ll…” he lets out a breath. “I’ll just jump on a train and see where it takes me.”

Sehun stares at him with tears in his eyes. “No, don’t leave,” he pleads, softly strokes the baby’s back.

“The baby should stay with us,” Kai says.

“Kai,” his mother chides him.

“We could take better care of him, Adrian. You don’t even have a job.”

Adrian exhales heavily. “He’s my son, Kai. I can take care of him.”

“You can’t really even take care of yourself, Adrian,” Kai says calmly. “Jongin would still be alive if it weren’t for you. And you’re going to end up ruining the child, too.”

“Kai!” Sehun snaps and so does Kai’s mother. Adrian swallows hard, for the first time, glad for the fact that his son is couldn’t hear. He presses his lips to the baby’s head.

“I’m sorry,” Kai amends quickly. “I… I didn’t mean it. But you know that I’m right.”

“Jongin was miserable growing up here,” Kai’s mother spits. “His son does not have to share his fate. Adrian is rightfully the father; therefore, he gets to decide. Not you. The baby needs to be with his father.”

“What do you know about what children need, mother? And he’s married to Jongin for five minutes and he gets to claim the child?”

“We’re all grieving, Kai. Not just you. So lower your voice.”

Kai clenches his jaw. “Fine. You’re going to regret this,” he sighs. “Whether you want it or not, part of the fortune belongs to Jongin and now it belongs to you both. I want the best for Nemo. Let me at least pay for his treatments.”

Adrian smiles and scoffs. “Thanks, but no. Keep the fortune.”

“Adrian,” Sehun protests.

Adrian bows his head to his mother-in-law and turns to accept the hug his brother surprises him with.

“Don’t go,” Sehun exhales, silently sobbing into Adrian’s shoulder.

“Life is too short, Sehun,” Adrian whispers. “I learned it the hard way. Try to find your happiness before it’s too late.” He pulls back and faces Kai. “You were right,” he mutters. “I ruined Jongin. If it weren’t for me, he’d still be alive. And I get to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.”

Kai’s hard expression softens into a lamentable guise, fit for a funeral. “Regardless of what I said, it was Jongin’s choice. He had… options and he chose the rockiest road leading to a pit. It wasn’t all your fault.”

Adrian purses his lips for a moment. Then he says, “I forgive you, Kai. And I hope you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me, too.”

“Take care of my beautiful little Nemo. Call me if you need anything,” Jongin’s mother says as Adrian starts to walk away.

He does not look back, entertaining a soft whimper that escapes the baby’s lips. He’ll have to pack and leave and never come back.

 

* * *

 

Thea wrapped Nemo up pretty good, Adrian thinks, grinning at the baby sucking on the binky. The air and atmosphere at the train station are calm in the evening with almost zero souls roaming the place. Adrian patiently awaits the train’s arrival, kissing the baby’s tiny hand and playfully nibbling on its fingers.

“Without a goodbye? Seriously?” a familiar voice hisses at him and Adrian raises his head to meet Julien.

Julien pulls his shades off and flumps on the bench beside Adrian, heaving a sigh. “I didn’t think we were that close for goodbyes.”

Julien snorts. “Are you kidding? We literally have the best best-friend story ever.”

“I don’t even know your last name.”

Julien chuckles and Adrian manages half a smile. “You’ll tell him about me, won’t you?”

“Of course. The random dude who showed up at my place, jabbed me in the face, creepily stalked me, stayed by my side while my lover gave birth and was my best man at my wedding. I wouldn’t miss to mention you, don’t worry.”

Julien smirks. “I’m going to snatch the pack from right under Lara’s nose.”

“It’ll be the biggest favour you’d done for me.”

“Then you have my word.” He holds a hand out and Adrian accepts it for a firm shake. He knows this established friendship would last long.

“Any help you need anytime, don’t be shy to ask,” Adrian offers, but Julien dismisses him with a scoff.

“Don’t make clumsy promises like that. You have a son to care of now. And you’ll probably be his only and entire world. Don’t be reckless.”

Adrian gulps, kissing Nemo’s forehead. “I won’t.”

The train’s horn blares, signaling the train’s arrival. “Whatever wrong that you’d done, Adrian, we’re all still part of human. To err is human. We all have our stories, I guess I should have listened to yours before judging you.”

Adrian smiles and nods his head. He picks himself up with Nemo in one arm and the bag in the other when the train comes to a halt. “Be a better Alpha than I.”

“I’ll try.”

And he gets on the train, never looks back and keeps moving forward to wherever the train is taking him and his child that has now given him his purpose to live and to die.


	39. Epilogue

“What?” Kai rasps when he returns to the bedroom with the babies’ onesies. He quickly reckons up the number of babies crawling on the bed and a nervous gasp escapes his lips, realizing the number does not add up to the amount of babies he had left on the bed. “Holy shit.” He runs the bedside and grabs Jaedyn from crawling off the edge. “I was gone for two seconds and you two lose your baby brother?!”

The baby kicks Kai’s hand off and hurriedly gets onto its four to crawl away from him, sucking viciously on his pacifier. Catching Jaedyn, Kai settles the baby back on its spot and turns to Jaecen, who is hastily crawling away to escape his father.

Kai lets out an exasperated groan, grabbing both naughty, insufferable babies in his arms. they wriggle and kick, Jaedyn looking at him with his mouth covered by the bumblebee binky. “Stay put,” Kai orders, lowering Jaedyn to the bed. He picks up a onesie and quickly tucks Jaecen in it. He settles the baby on the bed and lifts Jaedyn to dress him up. They smell wonderful, like soap and powder. It sucks that Kai must wait until they are all asleep to rub his face all over them so that he can inhale their scent as much as he wants. Never in his life has ever thought he’d grow to love a baby’s scent. “Sit,” he says, sitting Jaedyn down beside his brother. The baby stares at him with wide, curious eyes—too big for his face. Jaecen extends a chubby hand to Jaedyn’s face, reaching for Jaedyn’s binky.

“Now, where’s Jaevonn?” Kai exhales, glancing around the room. “Jaevonn!” he searches under the bed. He certainly could not have climbed off the bed, unless he fell from it, which Kai hopes isn’t the case, otherwise, Sehun might kill him.

He straightens up and finds a puffy white tail, dusted with black spots twitching and swaying, sticking out from under the pillow. “Ah, there you are,” he removes the pillow and smiles at Jaevonn sleeping soundly, curled into a ball, hiding under the pillow. “Why can’t you two be like him?” Kai grunts at Jaedyn and Jaecen, who are busy crawling all over the bed in their lamb onesies. Kai picks Jaevonn up and cradles the baby in his arms before gently laying him on the bed to dress him up.

Flumping for a seat, Kai lifts Jaevonn’s leg and presses a kiss the soft sole of the baby’s foot. The gold anklet jingles as Kai adjusts it around Jaevonn’s ankle. “Ah, nuh-uh-uh,” he protests, grabbing Jaedyn that bolts for the corner of the bed. “Time for sleep.”

He leaves Jaevonn on the bed to sleep for a moment as he scoops Jaedyn and Jaecen up into his arms before meandering his way to the babies’ room. He settles the babies in their respective cots so that he could rush back to the room and fetch Jaevonn. When he has placed all the babies in their cots, Kai finally takes a breather, wiping the sweat beads off his forehead. “No, don’t give me that look,” he says to Jaedyn, who stares at him, wide-eyed and pleading. “No more playtime for tonight.”

“Are they in bed?” Sehun asks, sauntering into the room with his hands barely managing to clutch all three milk bottles.

“Finally, yes. Jaevonn is already asleep, though.”

“Oh. Then I guess I’ll just feed him when he wakes up.” He hands Kai one of the bottles. “You take Jaedyn, I take Jaecen?”

“Why?!” Kai gasps. “Why me? He’s teething and he bites my fingers.”

“Come here, baby,” Sehun mewls, completely ignoring Kai’s plea as he gathers up Jaecen.

Kai musters the courage and readies his fingers. “All right,” he huffs. “Let’s do this.” Once he has picked the baby up and settled on the chaise lounge beside Sehun, he struggles for a second to pull the binky out of Jaedyn’s mouth. Jaedyn fists Kai’s shirt in a bunch and grabs Kai’s neck chain to cling onto it. Kai smiles at him and pecks on the baby’s lips before sticking the nipple of the bottle into Jaedyn’s mouth. Out of all three, Jaedyn is the greediest when it comes to milk, the naughtiest, Jaevonn the calmest and sleepiest, Jaecen the most clueless and curious, also the chubbiest. Over the past few months, Kai has grown to being used to identifying the babies by their anklets.

Jaecen, the first born, gold anklet with diamonds.

Jaevonn, the second born, gold anklet with musgravites.

Jaedyn, the last born, gold anklet with benitoites.

It had been Chanyeol’s idea since identifying them by colour codes and dress codes is too _boring_.

Jaedyn drains the bottle long before Jaecen and Kai throws the baby over his shoulder to burp him. Sehun throws a weak smile in Kai’s way as he mimics Kai’s action as soon as Jaecen is done drinking. “He caught a mouse that day,” Kai sighs, jerking his chin towards Jaecen, who is drowsily hanging on Sehun’s shoulder as his papa pats his back.

“What did he do with it?” Sehun wheezes, his eyes bulging out.

“He examined it for a moment and hugged it, kissed its head, and let it go.”

“Aw,” Sehun hums, patting the baby’s lower back. Jaecen lets out a small burp and stretches out an arm to Kai, who peppers the baby’s knuckles with a kiss.

“This one caught a butterfly and killed it,” Kai sighs, raising Jaedyn up to the air to look daggers into the baby’s eyes. Jaedyn seems unfazed as he grabs Kai’s nose.

“Well, he has more of your genes,” Sehun chuckles and pushes himself up to his feet to place Jaecen in his cot. He walks back to Kai and tears Jaedyn away from his hands to settle him in his cot as well. “A hard day’s work,” Sehun puffs out, returning to his spot on the chaise lounge.

“I’m exhausted,” Kai says, leaning his head back.

“Yeah, babies do that.”

“Especially ours.”

Sehun giggles. “Not Jaevonn, though.”

“Never Jaevonn. We should have named him Sleepy. Ooh. Jaedyn’s Grumpy and Jaecen’s Dopey.”

That earns him a backhand on the arm. “Don’t call them that,” Sehun hisses with a pout on his lips. “I’m rethinking my decision of leaving them with you.”

Kai scoffs. “Don’t worry. I’ll hire a nanny.”

“Make sure it’s a kind one.”

“I will, of course. One that won’t quit after a day with Jaedyn and Jaecen.”

They let the silence hang between them for a length while watching the babies fall asleep. “Are you… sure you’ll be okay with them?” Sehun asks after a moment, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, yeah. I mean, if it gets too difficult, I’ll just ditch them at Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s place. They can’t seem to can get enough of chewing on the babies’ hands.”

“Kai!”

“I’m kidding!” Kai laughs. “Of course, I’ll be fine, Sehun. They’ll be fine, too. Plus, you’ll be gone only for six months, right?”

Sehun curls his bottom lip between his teeth and sucks on it. “It might… take longer than six months.”

Kai’s gaze idly scans Sehun’s guilt sheening in his eyes. “Oh… Uh, well… I’m sure it’s fine, Sehun. I can handle it. You wanted this all your life. You should be happy and… do what you want. You wanted to get out of here and see the world, and that’s precisely what you’re doing now.”

The corners of Sehun’s lips pull up into a smile. “Thanks.”

“When are you leaving again?”

“Evening. Tomorrow. You don’t have to come to the airport, Kai.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to. I have a… meeting. I hope you have a safe journey, though. Sehun… travel as much as you want, but… always come home.”

Sehun’s gaze softens at that and god, Kai would give anything to hold onto that gaze a little longer. So much has happened over the past two years, but he and Sehun have only been moving backward instead of forward, even though Kai has proven himself to Sehun that he has changed and he has completely buried his temper following Jongin’s death. It took effort, a lot effort. And a lot of alcohol.

While Sehun had agreed to keep the babies and Kai had agreed to provide financial support, Sehun never came back. Well, to be more precise, he never came back to Kai. He found himself a safe, small sanctuary for him and the babies he was carrying at that time in Itcara, which became the safest place for Sehun and the other wolves after Julien had seized the packs in both Harvington and Itcara. After a while, Sehun moved back to his old house and lived under Thea’s care.

“I will,” Sehun whispers. “But what meeting?”

“I’m… stepping down.”

Sehun’s eyes widen. “What?”

Kai lets out a sigh, scratching the back of his head. “I’m handing the position over to Chanyeol. He’s more fitting for the job, anyway.”

“Oh, my God, Kai,” Sehun lets out, sliding his hand into Kai’s palm. “Are you sure?”

“Affirmative,” Kai nods. “I need to be here for my kids. Julien and Chanyeol can proceed with the peace accord process. I actually think Chanyeol would be able to convince the others better than I could. He’s responsible, married, has Baekhyun’s family to back him up. Now that the Lycans are ready to talk, we just need to the Pride to settle. People would trust Chanyeol and Baekhyun.”

Sehun swallows and glances away. “I’m sorry. I know it’s… because of me, you’re in this spot.”

“Don’t be silly. These things happen.”

“They do… People… break up… fall out of love and… move on, right?”

Kai could not help the frown that tugs at his brows. “Some people lie to themselves that they are in love in the first place.”

“Kai—”

“No. Sehun, I’m not mad at you or at the fact that you moved on. If you couldn’t find the heart to be with me even after having the babies, I can take the hint. I’m just mad… at myself for being such a fool. For taking you for granted, for thinking that just because we’re married, you will just have to fall in love with me and be with me forever. I guess life isn’t always a bed of roses, huh?”

“Life was never a bed of roses for us when we were together, though,” Sehun lightly squeezes Kai’s hand. “But I swear, we did have good moments. Otherwise, these three wouldn’t be here.”

“It just feels like my life totally went the other way. The last two years have been… I wish I could just erase those two years from my life.”

Sehun rests his head on Kai’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Did you… ever love me, Sehun?”

Sehun raises his head to meet Kai’s gaze. “Of course, I did, Kai.”

“Then what made you not love me anymore?”

Licking his lips, Sehun puffs out a heavy breath. “Who said I don’t love you anymore, Kai?”

“You’re sending a lot of mixed signals here.”

“No. I just mean… I still care for you. It’s nothing you did, Kai. Not completely, at least. We got into this relationship in a rush and we hurried everything. We weren’t even planning to be with each other in the beginning. Maybe we were just refusing to look at the ugly sides of our marriage. But I still tried. We were having a good time and then, everything just turned bad. It felt like I was just waiting for you to pull the trigger. Kai, I did love you. But maybe not as much as I would have liked to.”

Kai bows his head with defeat. “Well, I really did fall in love with you, Sehun. Even though you didn’t exactly love me as much as you experimented with me.”

“Kai.”

“Enough,” Kai sighs. “I understand. We’re never getting back together and I can’t even blame you. I don’t think it’s about you not loving me. I think it’s about you wanting something different, something more than this dull, trapped life. All those years you lost in this manor, you want to live them.”

Sehun’s eyes glisten with tears. “Listen. I married you. You were my first love. You are the father of my babies. You were there for me when I gave birth. You will always be there for me and the babies. But you can move on, too, Kai. You know that. Just because we have three children together, it doesn’t mean you have to hold back. If you fall in love again, you should chase it.”

Kai presses his lips into a thin smile. “Good. Then I hope you get used to me chasing after you again and again.”

Sehun could not hide the grin as he shakes his head. “Cut it out. You’re already a father to three.”

Kai shrugs. “Could not help my charm.”

“So… What happens after you step down from the peak of the Pride?”

“Well, I’m thinking about dressing the kids up as different famous, iconic characters and making a photo album. Jaevonn’s Alice, Jaecen and Jaedyn can be Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Ariel, Sebastian, Flounder. Harry, Hermione, Ron. Fatso, Stinky, and Stretch.”

“What the—”

“They’re cartoon ghosts, Sehun. Relax.”

“You’re insane.”

“I’m joking,” Kai sniggers. “Not really. But I’m going to have the best time with them, I promise.”

Sehun heaves a sigh. “I just wonder how my brother and Nemo are doing,” he says, wiping his chin.

“Have you… been in contact with them?”

“He called Thea like… months ago. He just said they’re both doing great, Nemo is… struggling a little. He screams and cries a lot because he doesn’t know what’s happening around him,” Sehun pauses to swallow a sob. “I can only imagine how difficult it must be for the boy.”

Kai rubs Sehun’s back. “Blind, deaf… can’t walk. The only way he knows how to communicate with others is through screaming and crying. Like a baby. He’s stuck in a world without light. When you think about his hardship, it really puts our problems into perspective, huh? I have three, healthy, beautiful children, all the riches one could ask for, power, family. And yet, I’m never satisfied or happy. I can never find peace. Adrian lost everything and is dying each day seeing his only son go through a pitch-black hell, but has probably made peace with himself. Funny how things turn out in the end. I… signed the divorce papers, by the way. And also, sent them to the lawyer. You should get a notice soon.”

“Oh,” Sehun says, a hint of a lour furrowing his eyebrows. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. But we have to come up with a consensus for the custody.”

“I understand.”

With a struggled whimper and a cough, Jaevonn wakes up in a trance and instantly bursts into a shrill wail. Sehun shoots up to his feet at once and hurries over to the cot to pick the baby up and offer comfort. “There, there,” he mumbles, patting Jaevonn’s back with a cupped hand. “Could you warm up the milk, please?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kai pushes himself up and grabs the milk bottle that is spared before bolting for the kitchen. A year ago, he never would have thought Sehun would grow to love Kai’s babies. Nobody becomes a good parent in one day. Sehun and Kai might have their differences, but they will lay their lives down to protect their children. Like Jongin had. Kai might not have believed that he’d be a good dad, but he wants to prove himself wrong. He wants to be the best father for these children. It will be rough for the kids to grow up as it is with their parents separated, Kai can at least make it easier for them by giving them everything they could need in life. He couldn’t be there when Sehun was still pregnant with them. Not because he didn’t want to, but because Sehun didn’t want him to. It had hurt. Even in that poor, unforgiving condition while carrying three babies, Sehun chose to rely on Thea and the rest of the pack instead of Kai.

Kai had drowned his sorrows at that time in alcohol. Jongin was gone, Sehun too. Life was a mess. He had proven to be an unfitting leader, too.

But then, one night, he received a call from Sehun, rasping to come over at once. That night gave Kai a new purpose to fight on. Sehun had wanted Kai to be there when their children were born. He had wanted Kai to hold his hand. And there can never be a greater joy for him than to welcome his three beautiful, perfect babies into this world.

Sometimes, you just have to lose some things to win in life. Lose some battles to win the war.

Maybe this is Kai’s destiny. To be a better father than his father was. Maybe there is nothing grand in store for him. Maybe he is meant to lose in love. But he will forever be indebted to Sehun for this wonderful life he has given him. And he hasn’t completely given up on Sehun. He had made Sehun fall in love with him once, he is almost confident that he can do it again.

He waits until Jaevonn has settled down and is sleeping again to walk up to Sehun and catch his arms in his hands. Sehun blinks at him vacantly. “I’m going to wait, Sehun,” Kai whispers, cupping a side of Sehun’s face. “You can take as much time as you need. See the world. Travel all you want. I’ll take care of the children. You are no longer bound to me or this household, this marriage or even to your own sons. You are _free_. But I love you. So, I will wait even if it takes you an eternity to love me back.”

“Kai,” Sehun breathes out shakily, splaying his fingers over Kai’s chest.

“I made a mess of things and lost my brother in the process. I’m not going to lose you. But if you manage to find someone… then I’ll back away.”

Sehun’s fragile smile weakens Kai’s determination. He leans in and brushes his lips on Kai’s cheek. “Take care of yourself.” As he turns around to leave, Kai grabs hold of Sehun’s hand, stopping him in his tracks.

“I… gave it to him without asking you,” Kai strokes sleeping Jaevonn’s head before pulling the squishy red ball away from the baby’s arm. He remembers how Jaevonn had found it among his toys one day, a mistake on the housekeeper’s part, who had mistaken the ball to be the babies’ toys. Ever since, Jaevonn and had always slept with it. “It sort became his favourite, but here,” he tosses the ball over to Sehun, who catches it to inspect it with curiosity. “It’s always been yours, anyway.”

“Is this…”

“Yes.”

Sehun smiles through the tears and replaces the ball back in Jaevonn’s cot. “He should have it, then.” He turns to Kai and crosses the distance between them with reluctance and hesitancy. His hand glides up Kai’s chest and curls around Kai’s neck. They lean in simultaneously, relying purely on their instinct. Sehun screws his eyes shut as his upper lip grazes Kai’s. Kai latches a gentle hand on the corner of Sehun’s waist, guiding him closer.

Sehun withdraws immediately and hangs his head. “I should go,” he exhales and retreats. “I’m afraid that if I stayed, I would never be able to leave.”

“I know,” Kai says in a sigh, caressing Sehun’s cheek as Sehun leans into the touch. “Go, Sehun.”

“Bye.”

“Bye,” he drops his hand from Sehun’s face after giving his lower lip a swipe of his thumb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may or may not read the extract (next chapter).


	40. Extract

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an additional chapter. You don't have to read this since this isn't about sekai :)

The drizzle of moonlight from the car windows lights the stray, dark locks of Jaevonn’s hair on his forehead. Jaevonn unseeingly stares out the window, casting up the trees that they drive past, and Wil finds it difficult to bring to bear on the road, to even to apply a globule of concentration on the driving with Jaedyn’s low and steady breathing tickling Wil’s arousal.

If it weren’t for Jaedyn and Jaecen’s unceasing bickering in the backseat, Wil might have pulled over a long time ago and professed his overflowing, childish love for Jaevonn. By now, Wil has gotten used to Jaevonn’s unwavering silence every time his brothers are having one of their jejune arguments. He fights the urge to yell at two of the triplets to shut up.

He has no clue why he even volunteered to befriend these pompous, spoiled brats. Well, Jaevonn isn’t so bad. He is the shiest, quietest among the Marion triplets, but that doesn’t mean he is completely naïve or nice. They probably would not have allowed him into their friends’ circle if Wil weren’t a senior in their school and a family friend.

“Vonn?” Wil calls in a low voice.

“Hmm?” Jaevonn hums without tearing his gaze away from the window.

“Can I stick my boots in each of their mouths?”

Jaevonn glances to him with a shy smirk. “Be my guest.”

“Oh, please, you know he only posts that shit to show off,” Jaedyn spits at the back, kicking the driver’s seat. Wil clenches his jaw and hits the brake viciously, throwing Jaedyn and Jaecen forward. “What the hell?!”

“Zip it or go sit on the roof of the car!” Wil yaps, pinning them with a murderous glare.

Jaecen pouts while Jaedyn scowls back at him. “I told you we should not have let him chaperone us,” Jaedyn grumbles, yanking the hoodie down to showcase his blood-red hair, the tips of his spiked hair dyed orange.

“Uh, you begged me to drive you, remember?” Wil hisses, shifting the gear and stepping on the gas to drive forward again. The road feels deserted, like the ambience.

Wil grinds his teeth as Jaedyn deliberately continues to kick the back of his seat. “We’re almost there,” Jaevonn says, laying a comforting hand on Wil’s knee. If Wil’s heart races any faster, he worries Jaevonn might be able to hear it.

“Do you think it’s a good idea? I mean, he hasn’t come visited you in more than a year,” Wil says.

“It’s a good idea,” Jaecen declares from behind. “It’s the best idea.”

Wil sighs. “I’m just saying, your plan doesn’t sound fool proof to me.”

“That’s because you’re a pessimist,” Jaedyn scoffs. “And a narcissist.”

“Oh, look who’s talking.”

“Jaedyn, knock it off,” Jaevonn chides him tiredly. “We want to at least try, Wil. We want to see Papa and Dad be together.”

“So, you’re playing pimp to get your long-separated parents together again,” Wil shakes his head. “Okay, but what if it doesn’t work?”

“Dad still loves Papa,” Jaecen says. “Papa keeps giving Dad this look whenever they meet. We just need to give them a little nudge to get Papa to fall in love with Dad.”

Wil lets out a chuckle. “And you think having you three was not enough of a nudge?”

Jaedyn gives the seat a brutal kick and Wil sucks in a sharp breath.

“We have a plan,” Jaecen adds. “Which is why we’re going to convince Papa to let us hold our birthday celebration at his place this year. We have a brilliant plan.”

Wil finds Jaecen and Jaedyn exchanging a sly grin on the rear-view mirror. Rolling his eyes, he shifts his gaze to Jaevonn, who has returned his attention to the dew-blanketed forest bordering the road, looking settled and peaceful as always. Wil licks his lips, picturing running his fingers through Jaevonn’s messy bird’s nest of a hair. God, what would he not give for Jaevonn to look at him the way Wil looks at him or at least acknowledge the way Wil looks at him. Wil is not going to get either of them anytime soon, unless he spits it out and grows the balls to ask Jaevonn out on a date.

He does not recall the exact moment he had fallen for Jaevonn. Perhaps it was when Jaevonn got mad at him for trying to bully him during the playdate. Wil had unknowingly snatched Jaevonn’s ball and Jaevonn had almost killed him that day. Perhaps it was that time when Jaevonn shared his lunch when Wil didn’t have any. Perhaps it was when Jaevonn had cheered him on during the football championship Wil had captained his team in last year. Perhaps it was when he saw Jaevonn smiling at him across the hallway.

“Is this it?” Wil asks as the car slows to a stop and he turns the blinker on.

“Yes. Take a right,” Jaevonn says.

By the time they reach the house hidden away amidst the forest, Jaedyn and Jaecen are at their seventh argument since the moment they had climbed into the car.

Wil quickly exits the car, unable to hear another second of their quarrel. He pauses to survey the exterior of the house, built mostly from wood and logs. “Is this where your father lives?” Wil asks in awe as he unloads the trunk.

“Hmm? Oh, no. This is where my uncle lives,” Jaecen says as he grabs his own bags.

“Thanks,” Jaevonn mutters with a knee-weakening smile, taking the bags away from Wil’s hands. Jaedyn, being the shit he is, looks annoyed as he fiddles with his phone.

“Crap,” Jaedyn hisses. “No signal, no Wi-Fi. I hate this stupid place.”

Wil smiles to himself and Jaevonn backhands his chest. “Don’t enjoy this too much,” Jaevonn says.

“I’m trying,” Wil beams, shutting the trunk after chucking Jaedyn’s bags to the ground. “All right. I guess I should head back.”

“No way. You have to come inside. You can leave in the morning if you want. Come say hi. Papa would love to see you again.”

Wil rubs the back of his neck. “Uh… No. Thanks, but I don’t want to be a pest.”

“Are you kidding? Come on, Wil,” Jaevonn whines. Wil studies the gold bracelet around Jaevonn’s wrist, which has been on him for as long as Wil knows him. All of the triplets have their own personalized bracelet with different types of gemstones. Wil doesn’t think Jaedyn is particularly proud of his since he has heard him complain about it every now and then.

“And the menace returns,” Wil hears a hoarse roar and perks his head to see a huge-built man approach them.

“Finn!” Jaedyn yelps and races to the golden-haired man at once. “I’ve missed you!” he cries, clinging onto the man’s arm.

Scowling mercilessly, Finn shakes Jaedyn off his arm and looks a little embarrassed when Jaedyn fixes him with a lovesick look.

Wil gulps. He has never been in a Lycan territory before and although he thinks he is safe here, being in the presence of that man does not make him feel safe.

“Why are you so mean to me?” Jaedyn mewls, jutting his lower lip out.

Finn ignores him completely as he walks over to Jaecen and Jaevonn. “Who is this?” he demands, jerking his chin at Wil.

“A friend. Papa knows him,” Jaecen says.

“Hey, Finn,” Jaevonn says. Finn accepts Jaecen and Jaevonn’s embrace while pinning Wil with a hard gaze. Wil does not miss the way Jaedyn frowns at Finn, still pouting as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Arofynn,” the man says, clapping Wil’s back with a hand. Wil staggers a step forward and coughs.

“Wil,” he stutters. “Nice to meet you, sir.” He has to tilt his head up to meet Finn’s eyes.

“Adrian and Sehun are out. They’ll be back in a jiffy. Come on in.”

Finn snatches the bags from Jaecen and Jaevonn’s hands and starts towards the house. Jaedyn grumbles under his breath and picks up his own bags as he quickly leaps after Finn.

“You coming?” Jaevonn offers, grappling an arm around Wil’s.

Swallowing, Wil does not protest as he follows Jaevonn into the house. “What’s with Jaedyn and the big dude?” Wil asks Jaevonn in a whisper.

“Jaedyn has a crush on him,” Jaevonn replies blatantly. Wil’s eyes bulge out.

“He looks twice his age!”

“He _is_ twice his age. Finn doesn’t entertain him, though.”

Wil lets out a breath and pauses at the entrance of the house. “I should probably leave, Vonn. Send my regards to Sehun, okay?”

Jaevonn’s eyebrows knot in a frown. “Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t wanna intrude.”

“Okay,” he sighs. “Thanks for driving us.”

“No problem. And… Jaevonn, before I leave… I’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time,” he pauses to glance to Jaedyn who lets out a sharp gasp when Finn shoves him aside.

“Finn, I came all the way just for you,” Jaedyn mumbles, pulling his hoodie off as Finn busies himself by removing the books and papers from the couch. “Finn,” Jaedyn whines, prodding a finger a repeatedly into Finn’s arm.

“Jaecen,” Finn says. “I must go home.”

“Yeah, sure. Good night,” Jaecen exhales heavily, taking his seat on the couch before dropping his feet on the coffee table.

Jaedyn steps aside, wearing a genuinely sad expression as Finn takes his leave without paying him any heed.

“Bye, Finn,” Jaevonn says as the man slips past them.

“Who is he again?” Wil inquires.

“My uncle’s friend.”

Jaedyn drops to sit beside Jaecen. “Jerk,” Jaedyn mutters and throws his legs over Jaecen’s lap.

“You can’t blame him. You’re too clingy and annoying,” Jaecen spits.

“I love him. He’s just too _mean_.”

“He’s older than Dad, Dyn.”

“Who cares?”

“Wil?” Jaevonn interrupts Wil’s concentration. “You were saying something.”

“Uh, yes. I… Jaevonn… I,” Wil licks his lips. “You can say no, but…” he stops himself when a boy shows up in the living room, on a wheelchair, with a book on his lap.

“Nemo!” Jaecen yelps and shoves Jaedyn’s legs off him before bolting over to the boy in the wheelchair, who shows no reaction whatsoever until Jaecen clasps his shoulder with a hand. The boy jumps a little, looking a little shocked, but still hasn’t looked up at Jaecen.

Jaecen takes the boy’s hand and brings a finger to the inside of the boy’s arm. He starts to move his finger as though he is writing on the boy’s arm. A faint smile curls the boy’s thin, rosy lips once Jaecen is done.

Wil’s head goes light. A fire settles in his stomach, deep-seated and feral. Without a warning, he loses his composure on his breathing. He has to blink several times to keep breathing and not pass out. He holds onto the doorjamb, his eyes raking the boy’s unmoving eyes and trembling lips.

“Wil?” Jaevonn calls, but his voice sounds like an echo from the furthest corner of his head.

“Huh?” Wil lets out, fazed and jaded. “What?”

“Are you… okay?”

“Yes… Yes. Who is that?”

Jaedyn jumps to his feet to greet the boy as well by writing something on the boy’s forearm.

“My cousin,” Jaevonn says. “Nemo. He’s deaf-blind.”

“Why… is he on a wheelchair?”

“He has a condition. Makes it difficult for him to understand things, too.”

Wil isn’t sure why he could not stop his heart from racing. It’s almost… painful. His chest taut with tension.

“Jaevonn?” Wil turns his gaze to Sehun and another man, several inches taller than Sehun, standing behind them. “What are you doing here?” Sehun gasps with a wild grin and pounces his son with a hug.

“Papa!” Jaecen and Jaedyn bellow in unison. Wil steps aside to let the children greet their father. He glances back to the boy… Nemo, who, upon realizing he has been left alone, turns his attention to the pots by the window. He grabs one and hugs it to his chest before wheeling away, his other hand, feeling the walls.

“Is that Wil?” Sehun says in disbelief. “Oh, my God. You’re huge now.”

“Hi, Sehun,” Wil exhales, gulping hard. “You look exactly the same like the last time I saw you. Which was… many, many years ago,” he laughs nervously, wiping the sweat from the nape of his neck.

“Hey, Uncle Adrian,” Jaecen squeals, lunging at the big man beside Sehun.

“Hey, sport,” the man says, patting on Jaecen’s back. “Finally found your way to my house again, huh?”

“We’ve been busy with school,” Jaedyn says. “Sorry.”

Adrian aggressively ruffles Jaedyn’s hair. Wil feels out of place, like a fish out of water. Ironically enough, he feels like he is drowning, unable to get rid of the boy’s images and scent out of his system. “Who’s this?” Adrian asks. “One of your boyfriend?”

“No!” all three shout simultaneously.

“He’s one of Kai’s friends’ son,” Sehun says.

“Ah. Welcome, then,” Adrian says.

Wil gulps as he is ushered further into the house despite his efforts to protest. His eyes desperately search for the boy, but he does not spot him anywhere in the kitchen, much to his dismay.

“I’ll go get Nemo,” Adrian says and Wil’s heart skips a beat. “Make yourself at home, kid,” he tells Wil as he brushes past him.

“It’s nice that you came here, Wil,” Sehun says, grabbing them coffee as the rest of them take their seats at the worn table.

“Pleasure’s mine,” Wil mutters, anxiously looking at the entrance.

“How’s Dad?”

“Fine. He’s wearing glasses now. But he’s still very handsome, Papa.”

“That’s nice.”

“Jaecen’s not kidding, Papa. Dad has so many suitors these days.”

“Good.”

Wil perks up with a sharp breath when Adrian returns to the kitchen with the boy. “Wil!” Jaevonn gasps when Wil tumbles off the chair, but picks himself up quickly, brushing the non-existent dust off his shirt. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he clears his throat and steps away, scratching the back of his head.

“This is Nemo,” Jaecen whispers to Wil. “He can see or hear you.”

Wil nods his head absently, gawking at the boy. Nemo greets everyone with a smile. His father, Adrian, drops to a knee and writes on Nemo’s arm. “There’s someone new here,” Adrian says and smiles in Wil’s way.

Nemo grins, lifting his hand to wave at nowhere. Wil swallows the lump in his throat. “Go say hi,” Jaedyn urges Wil with his mouth full of biscuits.

Wil advances forward at once. “You can write in capital letters on his arm. He’ll understand,” Adrian says.

Wil bows his head shakily and brings a trembling finger to Nemo’s arm. He writes _WIL_ and waits for a response. The boy raises a hand and Adrian grabs Wil’s arm before rolling his sleeve up. Nemo blindly searches for Wil’s arm and slowly drags his finger along Wil’s arm.

He thinks he might die if his heart beats any faster.

 _NEMO_ , the boy writes and withdraws his hand. Wil rises back to his feet and returns to his seat with blood pulsing in his temples.


	41. Goodbye

 


	42. Chapter 42

The manor smells of crisp grass and old wood, just the way Sehun remembers it. A small smile creeps onto his face as he lets himself into the house, shuddering faintly at the memories that come rushing to his mind.

It’s empty, as it always has been. But it feels homelier, more lived in now. No matter how many times Kai says that he is planning to leave this manor, he never comes through. Sehun gets it. The manor is sentimental to him.

Along with the usual, worn in scent of the house, Sehun catches whiffs Lycan scents as well. Now that Julien is in charge of both the packs in Harvington and Itcara, it is no surprise that Kai is fraternizing with the wolves. Besides, he also answers to no one now that he has stepped down from his position, graciously handing it over to Chanyeol to take over.

He draws a hand along the railing as he wends his way up the stairs, leaving the luggage downstairs. Though he had promised Kai to come visit every once in a while, those _once in a while_ soon has become once in a year, if it is even once a year. The last time Sehun had been in this manor was more than two years ago.

He stops when he reaches the top of the stairs and finds the crayon writing on the wall. He smiles, as he always does seeing that. _‘Jaedyn love daddy’_. Daddy, as in Kai. Sehun’s smile falters with a pang to his heart. He wonders why Kai never got the wall painted. He certainly had the other walls the kids had drawn on.

Is it because Jaedyn is a spitting image of Kai? Personality and all? Is it because he thinks he’d miss the time Jaedyn wasn’t a whingy, snotty little teenage prince and was just a loving, happy child? Or is it because it’s a reminder that Kai is a good father?

Sehun adopts a crouch and strokes the innocent act of vandalism with his fingers, smiling miserably. He wasn’t here when this happened. He wasn’t here when anything happened.

He had wanted to. He just couldn’t. Coming back here always leaves him with the dread, with the question—what if he can never leave again? He had been selfish, beyond any reasonable excuse. But he didn’t back out. He had fought for custody, he had wanted to take care of the kids. However, Kai could provide for the kids in ways Sehun never will be able to. A safe home, the best education, pretty much everything that they need and want. The judge also appeared to share the same opinions.

And Kai has raised them all right. Including Jaedyn, who could make a fine, decent young man if it weren’t for his attitude. Well, he’s a chip of the old block and that is probably why Sehun favours the child, in all honesty.

Nothing much has changed. He is tempted to raid the boys’ rooms, but the fear of finding horrid truths in a teenage boy’s room stops him. Well-read Jaevonn probably still has his room flooded by books. Jaecen and Jaedyn, however, Sehun doesn’t _want_ to know what is flooding their rooms. Dirty laundry, dirty posters, dirty browsing history on their computers. More so when it comes to Jaedyn, who once again, is a copy of Kai. So, no surprise there.

He meanders his way through the hallway and pauses dead in his tracks when he hears a string of soft giggles as he approaches Kai’s bedroom.

With a lockjaw and a hammering heart, Sehun shoves the door open and leans sideways on the doorframe.

“Shit,” the fair-haired boy hisses, hastily covering his naked body with the sheets. Sehun gawks at the young Pantherinae in bed with Kai, all cozied up under the covers.

Kai withdraws from the boy to turn his head halfway around and glance at Sehun. “Well, note to self. Always remember to lock the door when you’re fucking even when your kids aren’t home,” Kai grumbles and falls back on the bed, throwing an arm over his forehead.

Sehun crosses his arms over his chest and pins the platinum-haired boy with a sour look before stomping into the room.

“Uh, who is he?” the boy asks, sitting up and holding the covers to his chest.

Kai gently strokes the boy’s back and props himself up to pepper the boy’s shoulder with soft, languid kisses. “My old flame,” he whispers into the boy’s ear with his tongue skimming the earlobe.

Sehun shakes his head and starts picking up the clothes strewn on the floor. The air in the room is heavy with the smell of sex and sweat, it almost suffocates him.

“Do you mind?” the boy asks, turning to Sehun.

“Yes. Do _you_ mind?” Sehun retorts and tosses the bundle of clothes to the boy.

Kai scratches the back of his head and sighs heavily. “Taeyong, meet Sehun, my ex-husband. Sehun, this is Taeyong, my… well, due to the conventionality of people’s dictates of conscience and a limitation of language, I’ll just say that he’s someone I’m seeing and occasionally go to bed with,” he says tiredly and grins at Taeyong before pressing a kiss to his lips. Sehun doesn’t look away.

Looking a little horrified, Taeyong gets himself off the bed and starts dressing. Kai groans, rolling his eyes and slumping back. It’s uncanny how Kai only managed to become hotter instead of older. It almost annoys Sehun.

“It’s, uh, nice to meet you…” the boy murmurs, his cheeks red with embarrassment as he hurries past Sehun and storms out of the room.

“What? You’re gonna stand there and stare me to death? I would have invited you, but the bed was already pretty crowded,” Kai says with a heavy breath after a moment, sitting up on the edge of the bed to grab his sweatpants.

“Isn’t he like half your age?” Sehun says, clenching his jaw.

Kai sneers, picking his white t-shirt up. “He’s older than you were when we got married, so don’t worry,” he says and shoots up to his feet, pulling the t-shirt on. He then grabs the glasses from the bedside table and puts them on. If only Sehun weren’t fuming, he would have admired how hot Kai looks in those preppy glasses.

“Since when do you wear glasses?” Sehun scoffs. “You have perfect eyesight.”

Kai smirks, shoving the drapes apart to let the morning light dribble in through the windows. The wedding band glints on his finger, reflecting the sunlight. “Well, you know. It’s all part of the ‘aging with grace’ process.”

“Except that you’re not aging,” Sehun mutters, leaning against a sideboard. “So… who’s the boy?”

“I told you.”

“Yeah, in a very… complex sentence. Is he your… boyfriend? Booty call?”

Kai huffs and turns around with his hands on the sides of his waist. “Boyfriend would be more apt, but I don’t do relationships. So, let’s go with the second one.”

“Since when don’t you do relationships?”

“Since ever, Sehun,” he says, turning to get rid of the dirtied sheets. “The one time I tried to do one, it ended up fucking me over.”

“I did not fuck you over. You fucked yourself over.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Kai murmurs under his breath. “What are you doing here, anyway? Aren’t the kids there to see you?”

Sehun sucks in a deep breath. “Yes. I had to leave them.”

“Surprise, surprise.”

Sehun bites his tongue. “They… want to throw themselves a birthday party… And since they never really had one before… Wil suggested that we throw a surprise party for them when they come back.”

“Oh,” Kai exhales. “Well, knock yourself out, then. You already know how to let yourself in.”

“I’d expect you to participate.”

Kai stiffens and stares at the wall, clenching the sheets he is about to rip off the mattress. He doesn’t utter a word for a measurable length of time before he turns his head and fixes Sehun with a glower.

“What are you doing, Sehun?” he asks.

“I just told you—”

“No,” Kai spits and crosses the room. “What are you really doing, waltzing back into our lives like we’re one… big… happy family, throwing each other surprise birthday parties?”

“It’s the kids’ birthday. We could do something great for them,” Sehun says with a frown tugging at his brows.

Kai snorts and lets out a soft chuckle. “I _have_ been doing something great for them. Unlike _you_. If you think one little birthday party is going to make up for all those years of absence on your part, think again.”

Sehun rubs his temples, shaking his head. “I see you’re still the raging arsehole.”

“I was never an arsehole, Sehun,” Kai says, returning the sheets. “I was kinder to you than most people were and bothered to be. I stuck by you. I trusted you. I let you see all of my sides, even the sides I was afraid of showing to others. While I accepted you for all the raging arsehole _you_ were, you couldn’t even give me a second chance. Let’s remind each other who left whom, shall we?”

“You drove me away.”

“No. You were just expecting too much. You were expecting everything to be perfect, you were expecting _me_ to be perfect.”

“Yeah. After a pretty shitty life, after being held captive by your next of kin, I’m bound to expect something to be perfect for once. So, what? Your young, little booty boy doesn’t expect those things?”

Kai scoffs out a laugh. “You’ve a lot of nerve,” he chuckles. “Who I fuck is none of your business. You went on to celibate and go on a spiritual pilgrimage to become the Virgin Mary or whatever the fuck you’ve been doing. I never said I’m tagging along, sweetheart. For all that I care, my boys are grown up and they’re doing great. I’ve been a good parent all these years, dedicating every waking moment to taking care of them, and now, I’m allowed to do whatever the shit I wanna do, or _whoever_ the hell I wanna do.”

Sehun falls silent for a moment. “Then, why are you still wearing the ring?”

Kai freezes, his eyes falling to the gold ring on his finger. “Well, it adds a certain gloss to my hand,” he says, shrugging.

“Can you be serious for once?”

“I was pretty darn serious, minding my own business until you barged in, ruining the third round of my marvy copulation with wonder-boy.”

Sehun draws a sharp breath. “And to come to think of it, I thought you’d be happy to see me,” he whispers and turns around to leave.

“Sehun,” Kai calls in a struggled sigh. “Wait.”

They stand in silence for a while, staring at each other, having tacit arguments between their gazes.

“Look, Kai,” Sehun says, breaking the silence. “You’re right. Who you bring to bed is… not really my business. And if I’m being honest, I’m… a little happy that you’re seeing someone. Maybe… it would have been better to meet him under some other circumstance and not... in the bed… we once shared.”

Kai laughs a humourless laugh. “If you’re jealous, hop on it. I’ll help you remember what it tastes like so that you can put your green-eyed monster that is eating your guts back to sleep.”

Sehun rolls his eyes. “I’m not jealous.” He moves to stand by the window, gazing at the estate below. “Do you… like him, then?”

“Yeah, sure,” Kai mutters, throwing the sheets to the floor and turning the grab new ones from the wardrobe.

“Do the… boys know?”

“Not yet. And I really don’t see why they should.”

“Right. Because who you fuck is not their business either.”

“Precisely. I mean, the same sentiment extends to you and them, too. So long none of them gets knocked up by that Wil boy.”

“Wil’s a nice boy. We’d be lucky if one of our kids ended up with him.”

Kai laughs, shoving the black-framed glasses up the bridge of his nose as he unfolds a sheet. “Or all three of them.”

Sehun hurls a pillow at Kai’s head. “Don’t be a dick.”

“According to you, I already am one.”

Sehun perches on the bed, now made with clean sheets. Even the thought of Kai and someone else on this makes him shiver with disgust.

“So, what’s new with you? I was almost certain that you were dead in some woods and nobody found your body,” Kai says, taking his seat beside Sehun, still smelling intoxicating with the after-sex scent etched to every strand of hair and every cell of skin.

“I went to Tibet,” Sehun says. “Came back a month ago. Stayed there for seven months. It was… very peaceful.”

“Oh. So, you did go on a spiritual pilgrimage.”

“It was more like a vacation from pollution and never ending modern-day drama.”

Kai’s lips quirk into that charming smirk of his as he gently drapes an arm over Sehun’s shoulders. Sehun almost leans into the warmth of Kai’s body. “You think maybe we should send Jaedyn to Tibet to become a monk?”

“If you can get him on a flight, sure.”

“The kid’s a menace, I’m telling you,” Kai sighs. “The principal called last week and told me that Dyn called his Biology teacher a ‘snickerdoodle-honey-puss’ when she asked him for his homework. This is his last warning. I’m already searching for another school.”

“Oh, my god,” Sehun laughs, shaking against Kai. “Reminds you of someone?”

“Please. I used impressively intricate strings of cuss words to address my teachers. ‘Snickerdoodle-honey-puss’ was definitely not one of them.”

“Well, then, there’s still hope for Jaedyn after all.”

Kai smiles, his face dangerously close to Sehun’s. Sehun turns his away, hanging his head.

“So… how long have you known him? Taeyong,” he asks in a small voice.

“A couple of years.”

A couple of years. That is longer than the period Sehun and Kai were together.

“What does he do?”

“Um, he’s an artist.”

“Artist… What does he do, then?” he asks again.

“Everything an artist does. Painting, sketching, living off scraps, sleeping on a couch, making love like a champion.”

Sehun snorts silently. “I bet. I’m happy for you. You finally… found a Pantherinae that is… tarty.”

Kai withdraws his arm and glares at Sehun. “If there’s a tarty Pantherinae around here, that’s me. Not him.”

Sehun chuckles lifelessly. “It never crossed your mind to think that he’s with you because of your money?”

Kai rises from the bed, folding his arms against his chest. “I’m not that old.”

“No, but you do have three kids and a bad history of screwing things up.”

“Here’s a list of the things I _didn’t_ screw up, then. Those three kids that I practically raised by myself,” he spits. “Yeah… you got balls, marching back into _my_ fucking house and telling me that I’m fucking a tart when you’re the biggest screw-up there can be. You’re forgetting that you’re still living off spousal maintenance, which I pay for. You’ve no right to call _him_ a gold-digger.”

“You’re fucking a _tarstist_ ,” Sehun says and laughs to himself.

“Not very clever. Get out, Sehun,” he says, nodding towards the door.

Sehun heaves a sigh and stands up. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I guess… there is a green-eyed monster inside me.”

Kai’s eyebrows pull together in confusion. “But… why? We’re divorced. We’ve been divorced for years. I’m not obligated to stay… loyal to you, if that’s what’s… bothering—”

“No, no. I… don’t know what I’m saying. I’m not jealous. Maybe just… I don’t know… Have you… been with others? Besides that _tartist_?”

Kai clenches his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths. “What is this interrogation for?”

“I’m just curious.”

“You’re curious about how many people I take to bed?”

“Indulge me.”

“Oh, god,” Kai groans. “I don’t keep count, Sehun. Taeyong is the only one I’ve fucked more than once. Or a hundred times. Ever since you and I broke up that is. Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t,” Sehun says, his blood running cold. He drops his gaze to the floor, balling his hands into fists. “Did you… ever… miss me? Or… think about me?”

Kai remains mum for an insufferable minute. Sehun couldn’t muster the courage to raise his head and look up at Kai.

Then he feels warm palms cup the sides of his face, the wedding ring cold against his cheek. Kai raises his face and stares fixedly into Sehun’s limpid eyes. “Every damn second of every day for the past eighteen years,” Kai whispers, his thumbs pressing into Sehun’s cheekbones.

The warmth then disappears from his face as Kai retreats, huffing heavily.

“I always stick by my word, Sehun. Or at least I try my damnedest best to. I… I,” he pauses to draw a breath. “I might have my faults and flaws. But not once have I ever even thought of cheating on you when we were together. You’re all that I wanted and needed. But… it wasn’t the case for you. You thought handing my kids over to me was your only obligation and as soon as they were out of your hair, everything between us ended. For you, that is. I’ve tried to move on, I’m still trying. I got busy, distracted myself with the kids, making sure they grow up well and healthy. But now that they don’t really need me anymore, I have to do something with my life. And I want to work it out. Get things in the past to stay in the past. So far, you’re the only past I’m still trying to bury and I can’t do that if you keep coming back. You left, so stay that way.”

Sehun isn’t sure why his chest hurts to hear him say that. It is all true, but it still hurts. “Right,” he says with his shoulders slumping. “Kai, I… don’t want to be a hindrance. I left and I… I had no right to come back. Into your life or into the kids’.”

“No. They’re your kids, too. But just… don’t… don’t think you have a say in what _I_ do with _my_ life. Especially since I don’t get a fucking say in what you do with yours. Speaking of which, if I may add, what on earth are you planning to do with it, anyway? There’s only so much to see in this world, so many holy expeditions to go on, and as far as I know, you don’t even have a home to come back to. I hope you realize what you gave up on and live to regret it for the rest of your pathetic life, Sehun.”

Sehun stares at Kai with his mouth hanging open and heart sinking. Blood drums in his ears. “All this because I called your boyfriend a tart?”

“Fuck you,” Kai says. “if you think you badmouthing some innocent person is the reason our lives are fucked.”

“No. _You’re_ the reason our lives are fucked. Your temper, your incapability to reason patiently, your bloody testosterones!”

Kai lunges at Sehun and clutches his jacket collar. “Fuck it is. I’ve been a great father, one that my own father could never be. I could hold onto Taeyong for this long and not once have we ever had a fight, god, fuck it if I just jinxed it. Not once have I had a problem with the Lycans since Julien came along. I’ve been on my best behaviour, in case you haven’t noticed. I’m apparently world’s best dad according to the mug your sons gave me for Father’s Day. But you won’t know it, would you? Because you’re the guy that left us. My temper, my incapability to reason, my testosterones are fine without you fucking them up. _You_ , Sehun, bring out the worst in me.”

By the time Kai releases Sehun’s jacket, Sehun is left breathless and he stares at Kai in horror.

Kai paces the room, rubbing the creases on his forehead.

“I suddenly remember why we split,” Sehun says and starts towards the door. A part of him wants Kai to stop him. But the other part wonders why should he.

“We split because there wasn’t love in the first place. Not from where it counts,” Kai says with his back facing Sehun. Then turning around, he sighs. “Stay. We’ll…” he looks away for a moment and sighs again. “throw the party. But I don’t want us to stand there and pretend like we’re a happy married couple. I want us to be what we are. Broken and screwed up. I will not fake that in front of my sons.”

Sehun shrugs. “No problem. You can bring your… Taeyong if you like.”

“It’s under my roof. I don’t need your permission.” With that, Kai shoves past Sehun and storms out of the room.

 

* * *

 

He shakes his hand and clenches it again to knock on the door for the ‘god-knows-what’th time. It’s cold, the forest is always bloody cold. He should have opted for a thicker jacket instead of a hoodie, but there’s no point in regretting the decision now. He’s already here.

The cottage’s door finally opens after like ten minutes and Finn sighs without even taking a look at Jaedyn. He holds the door open, but his size blocks the entire doorway.

“Good morning,” Jaedyn chimes, running a hand through his red hair, hoping that the wind hasn’t mussed it.

Finn lets out another heavy breath. “Didn’t your knuckles bruise from all that knocking? Boy, you’re stubborn,” he says, shaking his head.

“I’m persistent,” Jaedyn corrects.

“So I’ve noticed.” Finn looks at him at last. God, Jaedyn could die from that stare. His icy blue eyes are as cold as ever, just like his unwavering, rigid heart. Well, if there’s one man who can resist and has the balls to fucking reject him, it’s Finn. Probably that’s why Jaedyn finds him the most irresistible. Like the forbidden fruit. It’s not just about downright rejecting all of Jaedyn’s advances, it’s also about the fact that Finn just doesn’t give a damn about him. That’s uncanny, considering how magnetic Jaedyn is.

“Can I… come in?” Jaedyn harps, grinning from ear to ear.

“No,” Finn says monosyllabically with his usual stoic face. “You came to visit your father and uncle. What are you doing here?”

“Papa’s gone. He said it’s urgent last night and left. And who said I came here for them?” he checks his nails and unzips the hoodie.

Finn closes his eyes and draws a breath, as though to calm himself. “Go home,” he orders in a soft tone, but firm all the same.

“You’re being rude to a visitor. You’re a man of age. Hasn’t anyone taught you manners all those years, old man?”

“Speaking of age and old man, I am like your father. So, stop your attempts at these lewd overtures. It’s never gonna happen.”

“Ew, gross. First of all, you’re ruining daddy kink for me. Second of all, why do you even bother saying that?” he smirks and steps closer. He curls his hands around Finn’s flannel shirt and clings onto it. “When you darn well know that I won’t stop?”

Finn doesn’t respond. He is just breathing, standing there, and just… breathing. That’s the most unresponsive he has ever been. “I will tell Sehun if you’re gonna keep doing this,” he says at last in that gruff voice that has Jaedyn swooning.

“Tell him. It’s not like he’d care,” Jaedyn purrs, snaking his arms around the much taller man’s neck.

“You’re a kid,” Finn says in a steady voice.

“I’m turning eighteen in a few weeks.”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re still a kid.”

“Oh, my god,” Jaedyn snaps and pulls away. “Why are you so headstrong?! You would have said something to the others or did something else if you didn’t want me.”

Finn palms his face, shaking his head. “I _don’t_ want you. If this is some sort of a… game or a pastime for you, find someone else to pester. I’m too old for this shit, for entertaining immature kids.”

Jaedyn silently glowers at the man. “I love you,” he blurts out.

Finn drops his gaze, grinding his teeth. “Leave.”

“I love you,” he says once more, scowling. “This is not a game or a pastime. And I’ll keep saying it again and again.”

“Do you have any idea how childish you are evidently proving to be right now?”

“Stop saying that,” he says and he hates that it almost sounds like a plea. “Give me one good reason why you can’t date me.”

“ _Date_ you,” Finn scoffs derisively and laughs, forcing Jaedyn’s heart to sink. “You should listen to yourself. All this while I thought you were just this brat trying to annoy the heck out of everyone, but now I’m pretty convinced that you think you live in this little fairy-tale of yours. You want reasons? Besides the obvious? The age? Well, you are… not my type. I would describe my type as polite, kind, humble, not–a–kid. Also, you’re half Pantherinae. I don’t sit well with Pantherinaes. On top of all that, regardless of what you may think, you’re not that attractive. Skinny, rangy, and a virgin, too, irrespective of what you think you have people believing, that you’re some hot arse that everyone wants a piece of. Should I keep going or have I said enough to boost your insecurities?”

Jaedyn stares at Finn with bleary eyes as his hands tremble. He isn’t sure if his whole body is quaking. He has never seen Finn this mad or reactive. All this while, whenever he approaches Finn, the man only snubs him. Not once has he said anything like that before.

“I… I love you,” he whispers in a shaky breath.

“You’re being pathetic,” Finn snaps. “If you weren’t Sehun’s son, I would have fucking punched you to the dirt.”

“Punch me, then,” he challenges. If Finn can do that, then maybe at least it will help him hate Finn. “Don’t stop on the account of my father.”

Finn doesn’t act. Instead, he stares, with those lifeless cold eyes. “Go home, Jaedyn,” he says in a low voice again. “Find someone more… suitable to date. I’m off the shelves.”

“I—” he stops himself when Finn slams the door shut. Gripping his jaw, he pounds his fist on the door repeatedly until it springs open. “I love _you_ and I’m not gonna find someone else!”

“If it is romance that you’re looking for, you’re knocking at the wrong door. Come back when you have better things to sell and we’ll talk sales pitch,” Finn spits and starts to close the door, but stops when Jaedyn bursts into the house.

“Sell what? Like my body?” he rasps and snorts. “All you men are always after one thing.”

Finn blinks and then arches a curios brow. “Oh. Well, that works, too. Like I said. You’re not gonna find your teenage dream in here, I’m too old for that kind of romance. What I like is to rut someone into the bed and fuck my brains out. You, dear old sunny boy, happen to fall short of what I need. We can date. But our dates will consist of just sex. Not romance. I won’t buy you flowers, we won’t have picnics, we won’t go stargazing, we won’t move in together, we sure as hell won’t get married. So, date me if you are up for it. I will only come to you when I want to, not because I need to.”

Jaedyn swallows. “Why are you suddenly being so mean to me?”

“Why can you never seem to know when to stop?”

Heavy silence falls between them. Then sucking in a breath, Jaedyn says, “Is that it? I just… have to sleep with you?”

“Well, isn’t romance just an excuse to fuck, anyway? This way, we get straight to the point.”

“I’ve never heard you speak this way.”

“That’s because you don’t know me. In your head, you… built me in this image, which I am not. I’m a very… filthy Lycan. Not appropriate for boys like you.” He pulls the door open.

Nodding his head, Jaedyn walks out. “All right, Arofynn Hazeldine. I’ll get out of your hair. But I still love you.”

“No,” Finn says. “You _think_ you love me.”

“You’ve no right to speak for me or my thoughts.”

Jaedyn turns on his heel, sticks his hands in his hoodie’s pockets and walks back towards his uncle’s house.

His heart doesn’t stop racing even for a second.

“Where did you go?” Jaecen asks when he enters the living room and plumps on the couch.

“Finn’s.”

“Figures,” his brother scoffs. “So… did he finally accept you?”

“He said I’m skinny and rangy and virgin-shamed me,” he sighs, dropping his head back on the couch. “That son of a bitch.”

“That’s… new. And strange. Finn said that?”

“Amongst other things, yes.”

Jaecen puts the tablet down and moves to sit closer to Jaedyn. “You don’t look so okay.”

“I am _not_ okay,” he hisses. “He says that he doesn’t care for romancing and dating and shit. He only cares for fucking.”

“Well, then fuck him.”

“Like… get rid of him fuck him or fuck him fuck him?”

“Fuck him fuck him. You said you like him. What’s the worst that could happen?” he shrugs and picks up the mug of chamomile tea. “Apart from the fact that you’ll lose your virginity.”

“Shut up. I received a handjob once.”

“Hardly counts.”

“Still counts. You go worry about your virginity.”

Jaecen smirks, but quickly hides it as he shoots up to his feet.

“Oh, my god,” Jaedyn gasps. “Bitch, when?!”

Jaecen purses his grinning lips as his cheeks redden.

“With whom?!”

“You are scaring the birds off,” Jaevonn says as he saunters into the room with a book in one hand and a cookie jar in the other.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Jaedyn asks nonchalantly.

“Where’s yours?”

“Touché. But really, where’s Wil the Thrill?”

“He went to buy some groceries with Uncle Adrian,” Jaecen says. “We’re having barbeque tonight.”

“And he’s not my boyfriend,” Jaevonn says.

“I can’t believe out of the three of us, Jaecen, the shy one is the first to lose his V card,” Jaedyn grumbles, leaning back on the couch. Jaevonn doesn’t seem surprised as he picks a cookie out of the jar. “You son of a… You know, too?! Who is it?! Ben from Calculus? Karl?!”

“Cross my heart, I don’t know who it is,” says Jaevonn. “I just know that he sneaked into his room one night smelling like an… oozing Lycan.”

“Fuck,” he gasps. “You did a Lycan?!”

“Can we drop this? Let’s talk about how you’re gonna get into Mr Blonde Blue Eyes’ pants,” Jaecen says, shoving a lock of hair out of his face.

Jaevonn chokes on the cookie and coughs. “What the hell? What are you trying to do?”

“I’m not going to get into his pants,” Jaedyn says, sighing laboriously. “That’s counterproductive. He’ll get bored of me, then. I’m gonna make him fall for me first.”

Jaevonn laughs. “Good luck.”

“Well, our attempt to get Papa back to Harvington was a flop,” Jaecen mutters.

“Maybe it’s about time we gave up.”

 

* * *

 

The cold air in the room begins to settle as night deepens outside. Sehun has relaxed his spine enough for a day. He sits on the bed after taking a shower and changing into his pyjamas to flip through the photographs, as he does every night. His stomach grumbles, but he couldn’t find the energy to grab something to eat from the kitchen.

Kai is right. Sehun doesn’t have a home he could come back to because he no longer has a pack or a family. All that he has is his freedom. And he isn’t sure what else he could do with it. He is a terrible parent. God, he didn’t bat an eye when he decided to leave his sons when they needed him the most. At the time, his happiness had seemed more important to him.

And he was afraid that he’ll be trapped once again. Still, it was no excuse to abandon his children. Maybe it isn’t as bad as he thinks it is. He has been there. Not always, but he was there. The problem was… being around Kai.

Now that he’s spent almost two decades of being _free_ , he no longer knows what life is supposed to be about.

The subtle knock on the open door startles him a little and he looks over to Kai who smiles guiltily at him. He lifts the plastic bag of boxes. “I’ve got Chinese takeout. All meat, just the way you like it,” he says.

Sehun smiles back and moves to sit on the floor. Kai takes it as an invitation and enters the room before settling down on the floor. They dig in at once, sprawled over the floor as a lightning cracks through the sky outside. A roaring thunder follows before the driving rain pours.

“Good thing I made it back before the rain,” Kai says, fiddling with the chopsticks.

“Not spending the night with wonder-boy?” Sehun asks with a sharp grin.

“What are you talking about? I am,” Kai says, smirking and Sehun chuckles. “I designed the invitation cards earlier. I can send ‘em out in a couple of days. We ought to get some caterers and decoration. Do you have a theme in mind?”

Sehun lowers the chopsticks into the box and stares vacantly at the floor. “Do you… realize this is the first time we’re… doing something for them together.”

Kai laughs. “Well, we did make them together.”

Sehun chucks a pair of spare chopsticks at Kai. He then glances at the rain bulleting against the window and sighs. It looks like it might aggravate into a storm.

“What are these?” Kai asks, picking up the stack of photographs.

“I… took them. On my trips.”

“Bloody hell, these are good,” Kai lets out in awe, surveying the photographs. “Ever think about selling them?”

“No.”

Kai picks a photograph out and holds it up, grinning lopsidedly. It’s the photograph with naked men sunbathing. “Guilty pleasure much? Bet that’s not from Tibet.”

“I’m also writing a book,” Sehun says shyly. Kai’s eyes widen in surprise. “About the trips and cultures.”

“Is it ready?”

“No, no. I might not even publish it.” He grabs the laptop from the luggage.

He lets Kai read a part of the manuscript and patiently waits, studying every little change in Kai’s expression.

“Like hell you’re not publishing this,” Kai says once he is done. “Sehun, this is amazing. I would be happy to sponsor if you’d like.”

“You’re already doing a lot. Like you said, with the spousal maintenance and all.”

Kai licks his lips. “I didn’t mean those things that I said. It’s just that… you don’t know Taeyong and… it wasn’t right for you to say that about him.”

“I get it. You like him. I was in the wrong.”

The thunder that strikes next takes out the light and Sehun freezes in the blackout.

“The generator’s fucked,” Kai sighs. “Stay there. I’ll get candles.”

Sehun waits for Kai to return, stumbling in the darkness before he lights the candles and places them on the sideboard.

“Right. Where were we?” Kai says, returning to his spot on the floor. “How are Adrian and Nemo?”

“Good and good. Chanyeol and Baekhyun?”

“Also great.”

“I can’t believe they only have one kid.”

“Gives them more time to fuck.”

Sehun admires the glint of candlelight dancing on one side of Kai’s face, swimming their way through his hair. He looks away when Kai raises his head.

“I think I owe you an apology,” Sehun says.

“What?”

Swallowing, Sehun dares himself to look at Kai. “I could have… tried.”

Kai hangs his head, exhaling loudly. “We all wish we could have tried.”

“I should have stayed. At least for the sake of our kids.”

“No. You shouldn’t have to. Not even for them. You had gone through enough, Sehun. I was glad that you even… managed.”

Sehun closes his eyes. “You said I should have given you a second chance. If I had, do you think we would… be at a better place now?”

“We can only wonder,” Kai mutters.

“But what if you were right? What if I do bring out the worst in you?”

“Well, ironically enough, you also brought out the best in me,” he says and bites his lip.

“Do you mean that?”

“Maybe,” he says, smiling.

Sehun puts the food aside and draws his knees to his chest. “If I should have given you a second chance, won’t you give me one?”

Kai blinks, outstaring aimlessly at Sehun. “What are you talking about?”

“You know… I know we’re not gonna get all those years back, but…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Kai scoffs and rises to his feet. “After all these fucking years, you’re asking for a second chance _now_?! For what? To experience what you couldn’t the last time?! Sorry, but that ship has long sailed.”

Sehun scrambles up to his full height as Kai starts to leave. “Wait, please. All these years, I don’t know why… why I took you for granted,” he says, choking on sobs and tears. “I shouldn’t have. Maybe I thought… you’d never move on. You hadn’t. But now… you are and so are the boys and I’m afraid… I’ll never be a part of you guys.”

“You aren’t, Sehun! As far as we’re concerned, you are basically non-existent in our lives! You weren’t here for Christmas dinners, you weren’t here for the boys’ first birthday, you weren’t here when they got sick, you weren’t here for anything!”

“You think I didn’t want to?! I wanted to get away from you and if I came back, I was afraid I will never leave.”

“Don’t give me that crap. You knew darn well that you were a selfish prick. I let you go. I wasn’t going to tie you up and lock you in a fucking trunk if you came to visit Jaecen when he had the bloody flu! What did I do to you that was so bad, huh? I hit you like twice, I hate your brother, which is completely justified considering the fact that he killed mine, and I said some nasty things to your face. Fine, punish me. But you were punishing the sons you carried for nine bloody months! What did _they_ do to you? You missed their first words, their first walk. Hell, you don’t even love them. You don’t love anybody. That’s your problem. And you thought I was a monster. No. People like me repent. People like you will always keep running away. And those are the kinds of people you never grant a second chance. You asked why I wear this wedding ring. It’s to remind me to never fall in love again and trust that person enough to let them see your demons. Remember that year when we had the best time of our lives? You saw the best of me, then. But the instant you saw my bad sides, you ran for the hills like a mad bull. You know what? I’m actually glad that I didn’t end up with you for the rest of my life. Sometimes, you can love the person all you want, but by the end of the day, you’re still incompatible. Because that person refuses to accept you for who you are.”

Sehun snivels as tears flow down his cheeks unchecked. If it weren’t for the rain outside, Kai could probably hear Sehun’s ragged breathing.

Kai catches his breath and lowers his voice when he says, “You know what the worst part is, Sehun? You weren’t there when I needed you the most. You abandoned me like my father, like my mother, like… Jongin.”

“You’re right,” Sehun whispers, dropping his head. “All your lives will be better off without me in them. Isn’t that why I left in the first place? To… stay out of your life…”

“I didn’t fuck up this time, Sehun. This time you did. I waited. Ten years. Twelve. You showed up for one week and never showed for months.”

“Wasn’t that the deal?”

“Fuck what the court said. I wanted you to be here. I wanted you to hold our kids’ hands when they walked for the first time. But no. You were too busy taking photographs on a nude beach.”

Shaking his head and harrumphing, Kai turns to walk out.

“I never would have abandoned you,” Kai says, stopping at the doorway. “You and the boys would be my Pride. But I wasn’t your pack.”

Sehun crosses the room and stops a few feet before Kai. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I wanted to come back, Kai. I really did… I just couldn’t. I didn’t have the face to. Even if I had come back, it would have been for the kids. Where does that leave us?”

Kai spins around and slams Sehun against the wall, grabbing both arms and pinning them to the wall. For a moment, all that Sehun could focus on is Kai’s laboured breaths on his lips and his striking hungry eyes.

“Want to find out where it would have left us?” Kai purrs, dropping his feral gaze to Sehun’s trembling lips as his grip tightens on Sehun’s wrists.

Sehun frees a hand and fists Kai’s t-shirt in a bunch, yanking him forward until their lips crash and mouths fall into a battle of hunger. Kai slips a hand into Sehun’s hair and clutches it, pulling it harshly to break the kiss.

 His body arches into Kai’s as Kai smashes his lips onto Sehun’s neck, kissing and biting his way down to the collarbones. It’s been long. Too long since Sehun ever wanted this. He realizes it’s because he only wants it with this man and no other. After all, Kai is his mate and Sehun has never renounced him.

His breaths, his voice, his body respond to Kai’s touches and kisses like they remember. As Sehun buries a hand in Kai’s hair, Kai goes limp, falling against him, pressing his face against the side of Sehun’s neck. They stay in that heated embrace for a moment, just cherishing each other’s warmth. Kai envelopes Sehun’s body with his arms, holding him closer.

The storm continues to rage on and the candles in the room melt into the darkness.

Kai pulls back, cups Sehun’s face and lightly brushes their lips together. It is an experimental kiss, soft and gentle. Like he is memorizing the lines on Sehun’s lips. One by one. He then draws his lips to Sehun’s cheek, dragging them all the way up to kiss to tears off Sehun’s eyelashes.

“Kai,” Sehun pants, gently stroking Kai’s hair at the nape of his neck as Kai moves his lips to kiss Sehun’s neck. “Please… make… love to me.”

Kai slides a hand into Sehun’s shirt and firmly grips the side of Sehun’s waist, steering him towards the bed. “It would have left us here, Sehun,” he says in a low murmur as he straddles Sehun after laying him down on the bed. He then takes his t-shirt off and discards it to the floor before bending forward to kiss Sehun’s mouth. Slowly, carefully. God, Sehun wishes he’ll never forget what his lips taste like.

“I would be thinking about you all day,” Kai whispers, kissing along the vein on Sehun’s neck while his hands unfasten Sehun’s shirt buttons. “When I come home, I’ll steal you away from the kids for secret dinners under the moonlight. And in the morning, I’ll wake you up with breakfast in bed. And I’ll make love to you a hundred times before lunch.”

Sehun lets out a breathy laughter and bites his lip to swallow back a moan when Kai sucks his skin on the neck. His body swathes Sehun’s in a vicious heat as he glides lower. His tender lips kiss every inch of Sehun’s chest before travelling south. He pauses to tongue and lick the navel before pulling his wet mouth along the thin trail of hair.

Sehun takes his shirt off and turns to recline on his stomach. He feels Kai’s hot touch on the side of his torso first before feeling the pair of knowing lips on his shoulder blades. Kai kisses the back of his neck and along the cleft of his back, all the way down to his tailbone. Then hooking his fingers into the waistband of the pyjama pants, he slowly tugs it to kiss the tailbone. His wet tongue slides down it, his lips sucking it obscenely. He pulls the pants lower and places a string of languid kisses all over Sehun’s rear.

Then yanking the pants off, Kai momentarily gets out of the bed to step out of his own pants and grab a tube of lotion along with a bottle of pills from the bedside drawer. Sehun watches Kai pop a pill into his mouth with keen eyes before Kai climbs back into the bed, kneeling on either side of Sehun’s hips. Then grabbing a handful of Sehun’s hair, he forces Sehun’s neck to arch outwards and face to look up. He crushes Sehun’s lips under his, kissing him upside down. A moan breaks from Sehun’s throat when Kai’s tongue slips the pill into his own mouth. Birth control pill, Sehun realizes.

Must be convenient to keep them at the bedside, he thinks.

Kai releases his hair and Sehun drops his face into the pillow. “You have no idea… how long I’ve waited,” Kai pants, fighting for breath as he kisses Sehun’s back and his lubricated fingers slide between the crack of Sehun’s butt.

A raspy moan escapes Sehun’s lips when Kai pushes a finger in. His lips continue to ravage Sehun’s skin at his neck. He yields and moans, awaiting the mind-numbing sensation of having Kai inside him. Pain and all.

“I want you inside… me now,” Sehun gasps against Kai’s mouth when Kai kisses him from behind while his fingers work Sehun open.

“Not yet. You’re still too tight,” Kai exhales, licking along Sehun’s bottom lip. Letting out a groan, Sehun buries his face in the pillow as Kai’s fingers curl and massage his insides, scissoring him open. The slow burning is nothing but a small price to pay for all the precious, sweet spots Kai is reaching.

Sehun pushes back against Kai’s fingers. “Deeper,” he pants, curling an arm to grip Kai’s hair.

Kai kisses the sweat beads collecting on Sehun’s back as he ventures back down. He pulls his fingers out and replaces them with his tongue. A breathy cry breaks free from Sehun’s mouth while he moans Kai’s name repeatedly like a prayer, begging for more as Kai tongues his insides, thrusting slowly, but immediately enough.

“Kai… I’ll… uh, come…” Sehun struggles to get the words out, gripping Kai’s hair tighter.

“Not yet,” Kai breathes against his opening before his tongue circles around the rim of muscles one last time. Kai then flips Sehun to lie on his back again and fists Sehun’s cock. A shudder runs down Sehun’s spine when Kai tongues the slit on the head, leaving Sehun in an utter mess. Licking the precome, he crawls back up to kiss Sehun filthily. It is a form of intimacy Sehun has never ventured before. Not that he’s one to complain.

“Ride me until you come all over me and I come inside you,” Kai says against Sehun’s worn, throbbing lips. He then covers his cock in lotion and firmly grips the back of Sehun’s neck before pushing himself into Sehun. For the first few thrusts, he swallows every moan that comes out of Sehun’s mouth, kissing him sloppily hard. Then he falls back to lie at the foot of the bed, hauling Sehun up with him to straddle his hips.

Sehun, sobbing for air and blinking the tears stinging his eyes away, plants his knees into the mattress and pins his hands on Kai’s abdomen. “Oh, fuck,” Kai moans, throwing his head over the edge of the bed as Sehun starts to rock his hips.

Their moans and cries soon outlast the cacophony of the storm, filling the room with nothing but erotic and ribald noises of skins slapping against each other and raspy low moans. Sehun slides his hand over Kai’s chest and curls it around his neck.

Kai pushes himself up and kisses Sehun’s sternum, a hand on Sehun’s hip encouraging him to pick up his pace. The instant the tip of Kai’s cock starts to spike into the walls of Sehun’s insides, Sehun lets out a struggled moan and Kai gently lays him back down. Kissing Sehun’s lips, Kai grabs Sehun’s hands and pins them to the headboard in a strong, unbreakable grip as he starts to thrust. The pain blinds Sehun for a moment and he cries in both crumbling ecstasy and devastating agony as he comes. He desperately kisses Kai to receive some sort of distraction.

Kai groans and sinks his teeth into Sehun’s lower lip when he comes apart inside Sehun, filling him with hot wetness. They collapse on the bed, atop one another and try to gather some air.

When Kai tries to rise, Sehun holds him down. “Stay,” he pleads breathlessly. “Let me… fall asleep with you still inside me.”

Kai smiles with sweat glistening on his brows and kisses Sehun tiredly. He then slides to lie on Sehun’s side, pulling Sehun’s leg up to wrap it around his hip so that he could stay buried inside Sehun, going soft by the second. Sehun rests his head on Kai’s heaving, sweaty chest and tries to drift off to sleep, not wanting the night to be over or the power to come back.


	43. Chapter 43

“To come to think of it, Uncle Adrian is fucking hot,” Jaedyn says, taking a bite of the hotdog as he surveys Adrian standing by the grill.

“You know he can hear you, right?” Wil scoffs, smothering the sausages with mustard. The night is quiet, this forest, this house, everything is quiet. Jaedyn is used to quiet, though. The manor back home is too big for four.

“And that is disturbing,” Wil adds. Jaedyn rolls his eyes, shifting them to study the senior. Wil is a great looking. Tall, handsome, well-off, president of like all the clubs at school, not to mention the captain of the football team. He doesn’t understand why Jaevonn and Wil aren’t shagging already. Wil is definitely Jaevonn’s type.

“Don’t worry,” Jaedyn says. “I’m already preoccupied with another meat.” He takes a big bite of the hotdog and Wil grimaces in disgust.

“Isn’t, um, Nemo… joining?” Wil asks in a shy, experimental voice.

“I guess not. He feels uncomfortable around a crowd or outside. Gets him all… weird and shuddery.”

“Oh. Why? Because he’s on a wheelchair?”

“Why the fuck would that be the reason? He can walk a little, he’s just very shaky that he prefers the wheelchair. It’s because he doesn’t feel safe. You know, not knowing what’s actually around you.”

“Oh.”

“There you go,” Jaevonn says, returning with the cans of soda. “What were you two talking about?” he asks and sits on Wil’s lap, like he always does, out of habit.

“Swallowing meat,” Jaedyn says, shrugging and earns a piece of pickle to the head from Jaecen.

Wil clears his throat and excuses himself, as though deliberately trying to get Jaevonn off his lap. “I can take over, Adrian,” he says, walking up to the older man. Adrian smiles and pats on Wil’s back.

“I’ve got it. You go eat, son,” Adrian says.

“No, it’s okay. Let me help.”

Jaevonn stares at his friend with an odd look before turning his attention to the barbequed chicken wings. “What was that about?” he mutters.

“Well, you were sitting on him wrong,” Jaedyn snorts and Jaevonn slaps him on the back of his head.

“Shut up, you little jerk.”

“What?! I’m serious!” he hisses under his breath. “Sit on his dick or his face.”

“He’s my friend,” Jaevonn says without a hint of humour in his tone. “Cut it out now or I’ll cut _it_ off.”

Jaedyn shakes his head, rolling his eyes. “Why so serious?” he mutters. “Dude, so what if he’s your friend? You two are compatible. Nerd versus nerd. Hot versus hot. Wannabe versus wannabe. Show-offs versus show-offs.”

“At least we’re not running after a guy twice our age and has absolutely no interest in us.”

Jaedyn purses his lips, glaring at his brother.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Jaecen cuts in, always the charming arbitrator. “Dyn, why don’t you just give it a rest? Stop taking out your frustration on us.”

“Whatever,” Jaedyn murmurs. “This place sucks. Can we just go home? We’re wasting our time here.”

“We agreed to leave this weekend,” Jaevonn says. “If you want to leave so bad, then find your own way home.”

“Argument among the Jae brothers,” Wil chimes, joining them again. “What else is new?”

“The fact that you want a nookie with Vonn, but don’t have the balls to do something about it,” Jaedyn says.

“Dyn, pipe down now or—” Jaevonn starts to say, but Jaedyn interrupts him.

“Why you two queens are pretending like you’re not made for each other or want each other’s cocks in your mouths? Wait, Wil prefers to eat arse, I guess.”

Jaevonn shoots up to his feet and lunges at his brother before Wil holds him back. “Hey!” Adrian caws sharply, shoving both Jaevonn and Jaedyn aside. “Knock it off. What the hell has gotten into you two?”

“He started it!” Jaevonn cries, tearing himself free from Wil’s grip.

“I don’t care who started it, just stop it,” Adrian spits and turns to Jaedyn. “You. Go see if Finn’s joining us tonight.”

Jaedyn huffs and yanks his hoodie on before stomping away, sparing Jaevonn one last glare.

He isn’t really sure why Finn happens to be the only one that abandoned his pack in Itcara to join Adrian in this shithole. But he has theories of his own, of course. Most don’t really make sense, though. All that he knows is that after a couple of years since Adrian left Itcara, after Jaedyn’s parents split up, Finn left, too.

Now they’ve built themselves a couple of cottages and they live in seclusion. Jaedyn gets why Adrian wants a safe home for Nemo, but why is Finn doing this to himself? Well, he’s got an idea, but he doesn’t want to get too deep into it.

He knocks on the door and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, staring up at the starless night sky. The door opens a moment later and Finn harrumphs in irritation. Jaedyn blinks vacantly at Finn’s shirtless body, staring stupidly at the well-defined, solid muscles.

“Ah, jeez,” Finn says, massaging his temples.

Jaedyn licks his lips. “Adrian wants to know if you’re joining us for the barbeque.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Why?”

“I find it objectionable that I need to lay out my reasons to you.”

“Well, I don’t wanna go back there… Can I crash here for a while?”

Finn’s eyebrows furrow together. “Why can’t you stop?”

“Because you need me and you just don’t know it yet,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What I need is a fucking restraining order,” Finn huffs, running a hand through his golden hair. “Go home.” He starts to close the door, but Jaedyn shoves it open and walks in, pushing past Finn.

They stand still and stare at each other in silence for a while until Jaedyn could no longer muster the energy to challenge Finn’s piercing gaze. “Would it kill you to regard me with some affection at least once?!” Jaedyn bursts at last, his eyes immediately stinging with tears.

Finn doesn’t respond and continues to look fixedly at Jaedyn.

“I am not playing with you, Finn!” he yaps, at the top of his lungs. “I love you and I may not look like it, but my fantasies of love confessions did not include being told to _leave_ when I said that I love you! You slammed the door at my face, you keep ignoring me, you said all that shit about me and asked me to sleep with you when I told you that I love you! So, I’m not kind or humble and apparently, being born years younger than you is also my fault?! All these fucking excuses! I know you’re not that type of a guy! And I know that you don’t want me or anyone else because you’re so hung up on Uncle Adrian!”

Finn closes his eyes, clenching his jaw and fists.

“Guess what. He will _never_ love you back. No matter what you do. He will never even look at you, he will never want you!”

“Get out,” he spits through his grinding teeth.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Jaedyn scoffs. “So, that is the truth. Well, what do you know… We’re not all that different after all. Both rejected by the men we love. At least I have the guts to tell mine that I love him.”

Sucking in a rough breath, Finn says, “You don’t… love me, Jaedyn. At your age, you won’t even know what love is. It’s a poor travesty of happiness for fools who believe life is all about finding the right person and settling down with him for the rest of their lives. Years… no. Months from now, you won’t even remember a guy called Finn. Take my advice and leave.”

“Really? If it’s so easy to forget about the man you love, then why can’t _you_ forget about Adrian?”

“I don’t love him, okay? He’s my brother. I will do whatever it takes for his welfare.”

“I call bullshit,” Jaedyn says and laughs. “So, tell me the real reason why you’re rejecting me.”

“I already told you—”

“Contrary to what you think, I’m not that stupid to buy that crap!”

For a moment, Finn remains mumchance. Then he crosses the distance between them and takes hold of both sides of Jaedyn’s face. Jaedyn pants as his heart leaps to his throat.

“What do you want me to say to Adrian?” Finn asks. “That I’m dating his 17-year-old nephew? That I seduced him into my bed and molested him, infected him with unseemly, vulgar lusts?”

“Stop,” Jaedyn whimpers, his eyelashes clumped with tears as he tries to break free from Finn’s grip.

“Should I tell him that I planted these crazy ideas in your head to fuck you and told you that it’s all love? I swayed you into having sex with me and you have to leave your family, your riches, everything behind to be with me.”

“Finn, stop it,” he begs in a struggle.

“Because that’s what everyone will think,” the man spits and withdraws his hands. He scrubs his stubble on his jaw in a palm. “Look. You’re a good kid. And it pains me to hurt you like this. But you must stop.”

Jaedyn lets a tear drop to the floor and sniffs, hanging his head. He then slowly starts towards the door before pausing to turn around. “Can I at least know one thing? Do you… do you, maybe, love me even a little?”

Finn lowers his gaze and looks away. “I can’t say that I do.”

Jaedyn nods his head and disappears through door, bursting into a sob for the woods alone to hear.

 

* * *

 

“Here,” Wil says when he approaches Jaevonn sitting in the dark at the bottom of the stairs.

Jaevonn mutters a ‘thank you’, accepting the can of cola.

“Why the long face, champ?” Wil asks, smirking as he takes his seat beside Jaevonn on the step.

Shrugging, Jaevonn drops his head. “I’ve never lost my cool like that.”

“Yeah. It was so… out of character. You know him. Why did he finally get to you?”

Jaevonn hesitates, but after a moment, he reluctantly says, “He was saying shit about _you_.”

“Well, what’s new?” Wil scoffs.

“It’s not that… I don’t know why I flipped, frankly.”

Wil bows his head and drapes an arm over his friend’s shoulders, pulling him closer. A few days ago, he might have used this opportunity to declare his undying love for Jaevonn. But now, maybe he’ll just have to love his friend in silence and in secret.

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t want a nookie with you,” Wil whispers and Jaevonn giggles, elbowing him in the ribs.

“Well… why don’t you?” he asks after a moment and the air goes stale between them.

Wil swipes his tongue along his lips and sighs. “Very funny.”

Jaevonn smiles. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”

They stare into each other’s eyes for a length. Then Wil averts his gaze. “I don’t know… what you’re… trying to say, then,” he mutters, clearing his throat.

“Wil,” Jaevonn breathes, sliding a palm up Wil’s cheek so that he could face him. God, not now, Wil thinks. Why _now_ that he doesn’t want to be with Jaevonn anymore?

“Vonn,” Wil protests quietly, clasping a hand over Jaevonn’s.

“What if he’s… right?” Jaevonn whispers as he leans in closer. “What if… we are… meant for each other?”

Wil swallows, dropping his eyes to stare at Jaevonn’s quivering lips. “And what if we ruin our friendship by acknowledging that question mark?”

That halts Jaevonn dead in his tracks. “You’re right,” he says and pulls away. “What was I thinking?”

“Hey,” Wil takes his hand and smiles. “Why take the chance, right?”

“Right,” he lets out and leans his head on the railing. “Maybe we should just go home.”

Wil straightens up. “Uh, no. Let’s stay until the weekend. Besides, my car’s engine is acting up. Should get it checked first.” Plus, he has made an arrangement with Sehun for the surprise birthday party.

Jaevonn sighs and rises to his feet. “I’m going to bed. You coming?”

“In a while. I ought to help Adrian clean up. Don’t wanna seem like a freeloader.”

Jaevonn nods and ruffles Wil’s hair as he climbs up the stairs. Once Jaevonn is gone, Wil curses under his breath and starts toward the backdoor. He could have kissed Jaevonn. Kissing him has been his only dream thus far in his hormonal teenage life. It’s got the top billing on his bucket list. And yet, he fucking refused to kiss him. God.

He comes to a halt in front of Nemo’s room and sucks a shaky breath, worrying his lower lip. He raises a fist and knocks on the door, immediately feeling stupid for it. After a moment of conflict on whether to enter without announcing or not, he lets himself in and finds Nemo on the bed, leaning against the headboard in the dark with a book in his hands.

Wil licks his lips and walks to the bedside after turning the light on. He knocks on the bedframe to make his presence prominent and Nemo’s eyes widen as his eyebrows rise in something like a mild excitement. Wil smiles and realizes that it is probably one of the easiest things to do. To smile at Nemo.

He perches on the edge of the bed and hesitantly brings a finger to write his name on Nemo’s forearm. Like a Christmas tree, Nemo lights up at once with a broad grin and shifts to make some room for Wil to sit more comfortably.

He had heard from Jaecen about why Nemo is like this and he had cried, for the first time in forever, listening to how Nemo had lost his other parent and how he too had almost died. But now, there can’t be someone more perfect than this boy.

 _WHAT ARE YOU READING_ , Wil writes on Nemo’s arm.

When Nemo searches for Wil’s arm, Wil presses his hand into Nemo’s. For an instant, Nemo freezes and lets out a shaky breath. _A ROOM WITH A VIEW. HAVE YOU READ IT._

Wil excitedly writes a ‘yes’ on Nemo’s arm. _IT’S VERY ROMANTIC._

Nemo’s cheeks colour. _I WOULDN’T KNOW._

Wil wonders how many years Nemo must have struggled to perfect this form of communication, seeming that he didn’t have the privilege to receive any other aid.

Nemo doesn’t protest when Wil gently pulls his arm to his lap and starts writing, _YOU WILL KNOW ONE DAY._

Nemo’s smile falters as he blinks his unmoving eyes rapidly. Then bringing a finger to Wil’s arm, he writes, _I DON’T THINK SO._

 _WHY_ , he writes back.

Nemo only smiles in response and hangs his head, letting his dark hair fall over his eyes.

Wil stares at Nemo for a stretch, his heartbeat quickening by the second. Then adjusting his wrist watch, he surveys the low shelves around the room, full of books. It reminds him of Jaevonn.

Nemo communicates solely by touch. His proximity with the rest of the world is his only way of sentience.

Wil moves closer and gently curls his hand around the nape of Nemo’s neck. The boy shudders, his eyes wide with curiosity and bewilderment. He gasps a little and lifts a hand to Wil’s chest when brushes their lips together before kissing him firmly.

Wil closes his eyes and tries to just… _feel_ the kiss and Nemo’s soft, tender lips. Their warmth, their hesitancy. The hot, trembling breath against his own lips. He thinks he could come apart right this instant and die at the rate his heart is beating.

When he pulls back to study Nemo’s face, Nemo looks like someone had slapped him across the face. Wil sucks on his bottom lip and jolts up to his feet before storming out of the room. Well, what a way to fuck things up…

 

* * *

 

It feels like it was a lifetime ago. It _was_ a lifetime ago. Waking up in Kai’s arms as the soft sunrays dance between the strands of Kai’s hair, illumining his perfect tan skin with a seductive, incandescent glow. He isn’t young. The careworn lines on the corners of his eyes suggest the hard work and dedication he’s put into those years. Sehun could only _imagine_ the hardships Kai must have gone through, being practically a single father for three kids. But Kai had persisted. He didn’t run away, he didn’t give up, he didn’t yield to his own self-interest. Like Sehun had.

But if only Kai knew how difficult it had been for Sehun as well. Wanting to come back, but never knowing if he could or if he should.

He watches, silently listening to Kai’s low breathing. Then he does the mistake of stroking Kai’s jawline with a finger that rouses him.

Kai cracks an eye open and squints at the brightness of the room before letting out a soft disgruntled groan. Then he shifts his aggrieved, sleepy gaze to Sehun. His eyes widen as though someone had slapped him across his face.

“This is a… gay-jà-vu,” Kai murmurs, shifting his weight on the mattress to take a better look at Sehun. “I was kind of hoping that it was just one of my many, blasphemous wet dreams.”

Sehun smiles and leans in to press a kiss to Kai’s cheek. “You were… hoping?”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he lets out and clears his throat, rubbing his eyes on the hilt of his palms. “This just… complicates things.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to,” Sehun slides closer to press their skins together. “Tell me more about these blasphemous wet dreams of yours.”

“Oh,” Kai chuckles, curling an arm around Sehun’s body. “I don’t want to taint your newly anointed and sanctified soul by sketching out and giving a report of how I come four to five times every night thinking about what I could be doing to you under the sheets while you were listening to pederast priests and dickless male members of a religious order preach.”

“Forty-five times?!”

“Four—to—five times. Even _my_ seeds have to put their brakes on every now and then.”

“Hmm… Ever the man to speak his thoughts,” Sehun chimes, dragging a finger along Kai’s chest cleft. “After what we did last night, I think my soul is pretty much halfway to hell already. Besides, I’ve attended more unholy rituals than pederast priest preaching. You have no idea what you got yourself into.”

Kai smirks, gnawing at his lower lip. “Speaking of what I got myself into,” he says and grabs Sehun’s wrists before climbing atop, pinning Sehun to the mattress under him.

“You really come four or five times a night?” Sehun asks, giggling as Kai’s playful kisses tickle his neck.

“Uh-huh.”

“Every night?”

“Every fucking night.”

Sehun’s breath hitches when Kai slithers between his legs under the covers while his mouth expertly sucks on the bruise on Sehun’s collarbone. “What are these… dreams about, then?” he asks in a heavy breath, fisting a handful of Kai’s hair as Kai shifts to kiss the other side of the neck.

“Mmm… All sorts of filthy things. You know, eighteen years is a long time. That’s too many lonely, heaty nights.”

“Tell me,” Sehun gasps.

“First, I’d kiss you, mark everywhere I can on your perfect skin. Then, I open up your hole with my tongue, lick you, suck you until you’re loose and wet and begging,” he purrs, moving to kiss the skin beneath Sehun’s earlobe. “And then, I’d fuck you hard until you’re screaming my name and when I come inside your tight—”

Sehun lets out a raspy moan, gripping Kai’s hair hard.

Kai laughs and lifts his head to stare into Sehun’s eyes. “Are you sure you’re the same Sehun who was a total prude, who could never even tolerate the word ‘sex’?”

“Neither one of us is the same person anymore, are we?”

“Hmm. Well, I don’t think I’ve changed much. I’ve always wanted to dirty talk my way into the morning since the first time I rented _Dirty Harry_ thinking it was a porn movie and I realized that I’d do Eastwood, Robinson, Santoni and Guardino all at once without thinking twice.”

Sehun blinks. “Who?”

“Jesus, I forgot you’re a troglodyte,” Kai grumbles and kisses Sehun full on mouth, holding nothing back.

They only part when Sehun has run completely out of air and is starting to snatch Kai’s. “Why don’t you re-enact those dreams in real life now?” he pants, sitting up to kiss Kai’s well-toned chest.

“You want me to rim your arse and make you come before fucking you until you explode?”

“Makes me wonder how many of those things you’ve done with Taeyong.”

Kai scoffs. “Check all of the above,” he says and moves to kiss down Sehun’s chest and stomach.

Sehun exhales a sigh, carding his fingers through Kai’s hair. “Kai?”

“Hmm?”

“What do we do now?” he asks in a low voice and purses his lips as Kai straightens up with an arched brow.

“Well, I was thinking we could keep it light after last night’s festivity. Besides, we need to get to the mall and get stuff for the party if we’re still having one. So, I’d say let’s, um, suck each—”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sehun cuts in. “I mean… after this.”

Kai falls silent, lowering to sit on Sehun’s stomach. He exhales heavily and slumps his shoulders. “My policy still stands. I don’t do relationships,” he says.

“We’re married, though.”

“Correction, we _were_. It’s just… too late. For everything,” he pauses. “This is so like you, Sehun. Again, you’re… seeing the… perfect side of me and you’re jumping into decisions. Hasty, not really thought through decisions. Who is to say that in the future I might not freak out again? I’m bound to become ‘the monster’ when Jaevonn brings home a boyfriend and starts going against everything I say for so-called love or when we don’t agree on certain things. What are you gonna do, then? Beat for an escape again?”

“I’ve learned my lesson,” Sehun says calmly. “I don’t want to run away anymore. I want to stay. With you. With the kids.”

Kai sighs and glances out the window.

Sehun raises his eyebrows after a moment. “Why Jaevonn, by the way?”

“I just have a feeling he’s going to be the one that’s gonna drive me crazy.”

“Because you’re… most protective of him.”

“He’s just so… innocent and naïve and,” Kai sighs, dropping to lie on Sehun’s side. “God, I just don’t want him to get hurt. He’s not like Jaecen or Jaedyn, you know. He’s… He believes everyone is good. He’s so self-sacrificing and believes in Prince Charming and happily-ever-afters and thinks there’s good in everyone.”

Sehun smiles and places his head on Kai’s chest. “He reminds you of Jongin,” he mutters and Kai turns as silent as a grave.

“I never had to worry about this stuff when they were younger. Now that they’re older and Jaecen once came home late, thinking that I wouldn’t find out, and Jaedyn wants to go to a prom with a bad boy date. I just… I don’t know. It’s like I don’t want to be happy or a friend to my sons. I just want to be the Devil and force them to stay as kids and never grow up and leave me.”

Sehun lifts his head and frowns at Kai. “They’re never gonna leave you.”

Kai lets out a soft, lifeless chuckle. “You’d be surprised to know everyone leaves in the end.”

“Since when did you become so given to looking on the black side?”

“Article 37 of the best dad handbook says that you should always look on the black side when it concerns your children.”

“Look,” Sehun says, splaying a hand over Kai’s abs. “They’re not gonna leave you. You’re their hero. Their… world. Whoever they are now, all credit goes to you alone. And they know that. So, don’t worry. Jaevonn will bring home a good boy, one that not even the finicky you can turn down.”

“Article 25 of the best dad handbook says that it’s a given to hate all the boys your kids bring home.”

Sehun laughs.

“You think I’m finicky?” Kai asks, scowling at Sehun.

“You are a little old maidish.”

Kai grabs the sides of Sehun’s waist and shoves him into the bed before mounting him. Bursting into violent laughter, Sehun tries to push Kai off him when the latter starts tickling him. “I am in no way finicky. I married you after only a couple of stink looks and you weren’t even that good-looking back then.”

“Try better. You’re not that good at lying. You used to look at me like a schoolboy with a crush,” Sehun says between the chuckles, which are soon silenced by Kai’s lips.

Then breaking the feverous kiss, Kai says, “Let’s just stay this way… for a while. The last time we rushed into things, shit hit the fan faster than you could say Jack Robinson. Let’s… take it slow and see where it takes us.”

Sehun licks his swollen lips. “Does that mean you’re gonna keep seeing Taeyong?”

Kai sighs. “Yes. I mean, I don’t want you and I to be exclusive just because of one night. It doesn’t make up for all those nights you weren’t here.”

“But, Kai,” Sehun grates, sitting up. “I want to be here from now on. If you still love me, that is.”

“Loving you has nothing to do with this,” Kai snorts, shaking his head. “What does is the fact that if you decide to stay, we’ll need to start over. We can’t pick up where we left off. And I wanna keep seeing Taeyong.”

“Why? Because you love him, too?”

“Because I care about him. Probably more than I care about you right now,” Kai admits, frowning deeply. “You can’t expect me to feel the same about you after eighteen years. And he is now a part of my life, whether you like it or not. Even more so than you are.”

“But you can give it up if you really do love me.”

“No, I can’t. This isn’t some storybook where everything works out upon pledging love with a solemn promise. I learned it the hard way.”

“That’s bullshit, Kai,” Sehun says in a calm tone. “Adrian still loves Jongin. He hasn’t moved on. He never will. That’s true love.”

Kai laughs. “You’re the last person that should be talking about true love. And Adrian _can’t_ move on. Not _won’t_. Because the guilt of killing Jongin will eat his insides until he fucking dies.”

“Why can’t we just move forward instead of dwelling in the past, reminding each other’s mistakes on an endless loop? You’re right. We can’t pick up where we left off. But we can start anew,” he says and catches Kai’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers. “I want to start everything again with you. This time, I am sure that I love you. No misgivings, no cynicism. Just the pure, straight fact that I love you.”

The quiet is so loud and Kai’s penetrating stare is murderous. “Say it again,” Kai orders in a whisper, raising a hand to cup Sehun’s face.

“I love you, Kai. And I want to live the rest of my life with you proving it.”

Kai swallows, licks his lips and presses them against Sehun’s. “I will make you one promise and I want you to make me one, too,” he breathes, kissing Sehun’s upper lip. “Let’s not ever make promises.”

“I promise,” Sehun mutters and surrenders to Kai’s kiss.


	44. Chapter 44

“Jaevonn once pitched in during the whole endorsement of state ownership, you know the campaign to brainwash youngsters and students to support Trotskyism?” Kai scoffs, shaking his head as they unload the car. Sehun laughs, accepting the bags.

“You mustn’t have been a fan of that, then.”

“Are you kidding me?” Kai groans. “I was fucking bent out of shape, I wanted to ground him. Almost did. He’s an active proponent of all these kinds of shit. You know, a concerned citizen and all. I think he’s a little _too_ concerned.”

“What did you do?” Sehun asks as Kai picks up the bags from the ground and shuts the car’s door.

“Most of the time, nothing. I mean, he believes in these things. Who am I to say they’re bullshit, right? By the end of the day, it’s all in the hands of hornswoggling politicians and bamboozling monasteries. He came home carrying signs saying all sorts of stuff. Even one that sanctioned female emancipation and environmental activism. When he was like five, he forced me to buy him a plant, so that he can make the world greener and god, the following year was a pain in the arse with him always giving us all the stink-eye whenever we wasted a paper. He even told me that I’m contributing to global warming because I left the engine on for an hour. Then one day, he came home and told me that he’s participating in this movement in school calling for equal rights among all social classes. And I was like,” he smirks. “Of course, you’re half Lycan, you can’t help yourself.”

Sehun shoves Kai by the arm as they make their way to the front door. “You’re such a snob.”

“He wouldn’t last one day without all these privileges,” he snorts and struggles to open the door for a moment with his hands full.

“Well, you’ll never know. He might just surprise you.”

“One day out in the real world without daddy’s support, and he’ll come running back like ‘Thank you, capitalism!’,” Kai says as he lets them into the house.

It’s an odd feeling. Them talking about their kids and their lives. Sehun’s stomach clenches when he thinks about all that time he could have been here with them, experiencing everything that Kai had with the children. Now, he’s just catching up with all that he missed.

“Why haven’t you thrown them a big birthday party before?” Sehun asks.

Kai shrugs. “Parties have never really been my thing. And after they became moody, snotty teenagers, they’d rather want to spend their birthdays with people who don’t actually give a damn about them, not as much as the damn they give for the money daddy instils in their wallets, at least.”

“Since when have parties not been your thing?”

“Since I started screwing all the parties I attended. Chanyeol and Baekhyun throw a party every single month to commemorate some sort of crap. I mean, if I’m invited, I’d show up based on my chemical dependence, and if I’m there, I’ll get drunk, I’d heckle the party, I’d fuck every hot guy there, gay or straight or ambivalent. Then my sons will be awfully disappointed in me, I’d lose my custody of them, and will forever be the dreg of the Pantherinae community. So, I just stay at home and watch _The Real Housewives of Atlanta_ with Jaecen.”

“What about Jaecen?” Sehun asks. “In how many ways has he driven you nuts?”

“Not that many, actually. Most of the time, he does _my_ job for me. You know, keeping everyone in line. Though there was this one time when he wanted a hamster so bad and when it died just after a week, he told me to cradle it with him for… hours and hours while he cried. So, I sat there, cuddling with a dead hamster for half a day. He only gave up when I told him this long bloody story about Hamster Heaven where they had plenty of room to run around.”

Sehun chuckles, bumping shoulders with Kai. “Wish I had been there,” he murmurs as Kai kicks the door shut behind them and pauses to smile at Sehun.

“I wished you were, too,” Kai sighs. “But hey, you did have some fun with them when you visited when they were kids. Remember that time when Jaedyn threw up all over you?”

“All over my favourite shirt.”

“God, he was such a fashion critic even back then,” Kai laughs and earns another shove. The laughter weakens just a little bit and he drops the bags to the ground, gazing ahead at the staircase. Sehun follows the direction he’s looking in and his heart instantly sinks to his stomach when he sees Taeyong descending down the stairs. Kai grins widely and lets out a breathy chuckle as he races to scoop Taeyong up into his arms and pepper Taeyong’s lips with hasty, brief kisses.

“Baby! This is a surprise,” Kai says, locking his arms around Taeyong’s waist as the boy clings onto Kai’s shoulders.

“I just came. You weren’t home, so I was about to leave,” Taeyong mutters and turns to face Sehun. His cheeks immediately turn ashen as he starts to pull away from Kai. Sehun clears his throat and hangs his head.

“Well, now that you’re here, I was thinking about making pho tonight. You can also help me with the party decoration.”

“What party decoration?” the boy asks, arching an eyebrow.

“Oh, right. Sehun and I are throwing the kids a surprise party. For their 18th birthday. Speaking of which, you need to be there.”

Taeyong nervously licks his lips, rubbernecking Sehun like he’s afraid or something. “It’s a family occasion,” the boy says under his breath, bringing a hand to Kai’s chest as though to create some distance between them when Kai grapples his waist again with an arm.

“Yeah, so?”

“I don’t think I need to be there.”

“Don’t be silly. I want you there.”

“We’ll… talk about this later,” he murmurs and steps away from Kai. “I… should go.”

Kai blinks, frowning at the boy as Taeyong starts towards the door, bowing his head at Sehun on his way. Then gripping his jaw and scowling, Kai marches after the boy and grabs his arm. “Taeyong, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” the boy rasps. “Really. It’s… _your_ family’s celebration. I don’t think I should be there.”

For a second, Sehun’s heart reaches out to the boy upon recognizing the sombre look in his eyes.

“That’s crazy, Taeyong,” Kai spits.

“No, really,” Sehun interrupts, smiling at the boy. “You should come. Besides, it’s a big party. You won’t feel out of place.”

“See? The missus approves,” Kai says, smirking. Sehun rolls his eyes and hurls a toilet roll from the paper bag at the back of Kai’s head. Taeyong frowns deeper when Kai presses a kiss to his forehead. “What’s bothering you?”

“Who will you… introduce me as?” Taeyong asks, fingering the buttons on Kai’s jacket. “To the others? To your kids? If you’re even thinking about bothering to introduce me, that is.”

Kai huffs exasperatedly and takes his glasses off. “You’re mad about something.”

“No,” Taeyong whispers, dropping his gaze. “I just… I’ve never seen you smile or laugh like that.”

Kai’s face wilts as Taeyong tears himself away from him and lets himself out of the house. Kai rubs his temples and locks the door before turning to face Sehun with a huge sigh.

“Aren’t you gonna go after him?” Sehun asks.

“He’ll come around,” Kai mutters and slumps against the door.

“I still think you should go talk to him.”

“Sehun, I’m not gonna go chase him and beg him to stay, okay? I tried that once, it didn’t work. And I don’t really care.”

“He’s upset, Kai.”

“He has no reason to be. Because I never promised him anything,” Kai says and lifts the bags up again, wending towards the kitchen. Sehun follows him, gnawing at his lip uneasily. “All the shit that pops up with the commencement of glorious monogamy,” he groans, dropping the bags on the island.

“So, what? Is this how it’s always going to be with you from now on? Your only responsibility is the kids and you’re just going to ruin yourself?”

“From now on? That’s how it’s been for the past _decade_ , Sehun. I live for my kids alone. Not for anyone else and definitely not for Taeyong.”

“You don’t think he loves you? You don’t think he could be hurting?”

Kai is silent for a moment. “Look. He knows what I’m after. Like I said, I never promised him anything. I wouldn’t even mind if he wants to be with someone else.”

“Then why won’t you look at me and tell me that? Why is your voice shaking?”

Kai remains quiet with his head lowered.

Sehun sighs and envelopes his arms around Kai’s waist, pressing his face on Kai’s shoulder. “I’ve gone to so many places, met so many people. But nothing makes me truly happy like you do. You can act like you’re tough and you don’t need anyone. But we all need someone, Kai. All those years, I went by just with the thought of you being my mate. And it was enough,” he whispers and Kai turns around.

“Taeyong was right,” Kai mutters, cupping Sehun’s cheek. “I haven’t laughed or smiled like this… in a very long time.”

Sehun melts into Kai’s kiss as their lips mould into each other, savouring every inch of them. Kai’s hand slides around Sehun’s head to grip his hair as his tongue parts Sehun’s lips, demanding access into the warm cavern. Sucking in a sharp breath, Kai drives his tongue into Sehun’s mouth and shoves him back against the refrigerator.

Hands fumble to rip their clothes off in feral desperation. Kai only manages to take his jacket off before he slams his mouth against Sehun’s again, kissing him like there’s no tomorrow. He rips Sehun’s belt off and hauls Sehun to bend over the edge of the island. A curse escapes Sehun’s swollen lips when Kai yanks his pants down and runs a cold hand down the crack of his arse.

“Come here,” Kai pants and flips Sehun around to kiss him deeply before hoisting Sehun up to sit on the island. He then turns for a moment to grab the oil bottle and smirks at Sehun. “Extra virgin coconut oil,” Kai laughs against Sehun’s mouth, kissing him sloppily.

“Are we really… gonna,” Sehun gasps as Kai drags his hot mouth to his neck, sucking and biting the skin there. “do it here?”

Kai spills a generous amount of oil on his palm and slaps it between Sehun’s legs, immediately thrusting a finger into his orifice. “Just like old times,” Kai exhales, grabbing the inside of Sehun’s knee and yanking him close. “What do you say we destroy the kitchen? I was thinking about remodelling it, anyway.”

Then turning Sehun around, he presses Sehun’s front onto the island and crumples Sehun’s shirt to kiss his back while his fingers hungrily work Sehun open.

“Ah, fuck,” Sehun gasps when Kai pulls his fingers out and grinds himself against his arse.

Kai grabs Sehun’s jaw and forces him to look back. Smashing their mouths together in a heaty, wet kiss, he rubs the head of his leaking cock against Sehun’s hole, spreading his precome all over the opening.

 

* * *

 

Wil looks away from his phone when Jaevonn stirs in his bed, scowling at the sunlight pouring into the room. His eyes then flutter open to look at Wil, who’s sitting on the windowsill, trying to get a bar of signal on his phone.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Wil greets along with a warm smile. Jaevonn groans and throws an arm over his eyes.

“Why are you up so early?” Jaevonn mumbles, tossing onto his other side.

“Unlike you and your lazy brothers, I tend to make the most out of my day,” he says and jumps off the windowsill. “Which is why the top universities in the state want me. Get up.” He slams the pillow on Jaevonn’s rear.

“Five more minutes, mother,” his friend whines and tucks himself back under the covers.

Sighing heavily, Wil meanders his way out of the room he shares with Jaevonn after checking his reflection in the mirror. He needs a haircut, he thinks to himself. He peeps into the room Jaedyn and Jaecen sleep in and finds the two-thirds of the triplet sprawled on the bed with their limbs tangled. Jaecen is drooling into Jaedyn’s red hair.

This isn’t at all how Wil had imagined he’d be spending the week, in the forest, in a Lycan’s house, especially with the Jae triplet.

When he saunters into the kitchen, he finds Adrian lying on his back on the floor, fixing the oven. “Good morning, sir,” Wil says and Adrian rises to his feet, smiling cordially.

“Good morning, son. Coffee?” he asks, handing Wil the coffee pot.

“Thanks. Do you need a hand?”

“No. I’ve got it covered.”

Wil swigs the lukewarm coffee and gazes out the kitchen’s window, admiring the sunrays that pierce the canopy of the trees. “I hope I’m not being a pain. I know uninvited guests can be that sometimes. Especially the young ones.”

Adrian laughs, sorting the tools. “Not one bit. You’re very mature for someone your age.”

Wil couldn’t help the smile that stretches his lips upon hearing that compliment. He isn’t sure why he feels the need to impress Adrian. “Thank you. But your son is… probably the most chill and mature person I know around my age.”

“Yeah, the boys told me that you’re Nemo’s age. I can’t help but think… he’d also be like you if he went to school or…” he trails off, stiffening and lowering his head.

Wil swallows the lump that rises in his throat. “Well, I think he’s perfect just the way he is,” he mutters and quickly bites his tongue when Adrian pins him with a penetrating look. “I mean… of course, no one would know that better than you, but… I just… I mean, I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”

Adrian smiles and scoffs. “Of course, I know that. But you know, as a father, I want the best for him and… it’s killing me that I can’t give him everything I should. What happens when I’m no longer around,” he lets out, rubbing the wrinkles on his forehead. “That’s what scares me witless.”

Wil silently studies Adrian’s crumpled expression. He places the mug down and scratches the back of his head. “I… heard about you and… Nemo’s other parent, your husband,” he says carefully. “I think it’s… amazing. You and him. And… your son seems like he’s… the happiest person there can be. That’s because you did a great job giving him everything he needs.”

Adrian continues to stare at nothing. Then he sighs. “Still doesn’t beat the fact that I can’t be around forever to take care of him. Time is against me.”

“Sir,” Wil says and gulps. “I… I thought I should ask your permission and blessing first.”

Adrian cocks an eyebrow.

Wil rubs his neck. “I don’t know how to say this… but… can I… take your son out for… uh… I don’t know… I’d say a date, but I don’t want you to box my ears and bludgeon me until I die from excessive bleeding,” he blurts out. “So… an ice-cream or a… taco or something?”

Adrian outstares him for a minute and Wil’s blood runs cold. “No,” Adrian says through his teeth at last and turns away.

“Oh.”

“It’s nothing personal,” the man adds. “You’re a great kid. But whatever that you think you’re doing, I want Nemo to have no part in it. He’s already ill-fated enough. The last thing he needs right now is a broken heart that will leave him scarred forever.”

“Oh, my god, you got me wrong,” Wil says quickly. “I’m not like that.”

“Then, what are you like?” Adrian spits, facing Wil with a ferocious scowl. “You’re saying you would stay by his side for all eternity? You’re not even done with high school.”

Wil hangs his head. “Adrian… you can’t just lock him up in his room and never expect him to experience things that everyone else does. If you think he’s going to get his heart broken, then let him. Because that happens to everybody. You don’t have to treat him special. He’s human, even considering his physical disabilities. You don’t think he wants all these things in life like others? You think he’ll be forever okay with just what he has now? Even if he _does_ get his heart broken, it’s an experience. It’s not right for you to protect him by denying all the heartbreaks in life along with the joys. I’m not going to break his heart by taking him out for dinner for one night. Maybe you should give him more credit and have faith in him, believe that he’s stronger than you think.”

Once the words are said, Wil could no longer pick them back up and stuff them in his mouth. They’re there. And Adrian is glaring.

The silence settles between them for a while until Adrian breaks it. “Why him?” Adrian asks monotonously.

Wil shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to do him a favour.”

“Believe me, sir, I’m not at all that altruistic. I thought it would be more respectful to you to ask for your permission before I shall ask him. I want to… get to know him.”

“And what happens when you leave here?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. My dad always says this. Live in the now. I’ll worry about the past and the future once I’m done living in the now. I just want to become friends with your son.”

Adrian is silent for a length. Then he slowly nods his head, sighing heavily. “He’s never… gone out with someone else. Especially not a boy, who… you know. I’m not even sure if he’ll… understand what you’re… doing.”

“Oh, he understands,” Wil lets out in a soft chuckle, casting his mind to the romantic books he saw in Nemo’s room. “Can I… take him out, then?”

Adrian contemplates the question, looking incredibly alarmed and conflicted. “Okay. But nowhere too far and you must be back in two hours.”

“Three,” Wil bargains. “And I’ll take him to the shabby Italian Shack in the town.”

Adrian nods. “You’ll stay by his side at all times.”

“Promise, sir.” Wil grins, scratching his head. “Uh… Can I go and ask him now?”

“You’re a strange boy,” Adrian snorts. “Not a lot of guys come seeking the parent’s approval before taking their kids out on a date these days.”

“I usually don’t, but I’m trying to impress you here,” Wil smirks and Adrian laughs softly.

“Knock yourself out, son.”

Wil hurries out of the kitchen, but stops when Adrian calls his name. “Yes?”

“You’d do well to remember that I’d crush your skull to the first rock I see if you make him cry,” Adrian says nonchalantly and Wil swallows hard.

“I’ll remember that,” Wil murmurs and proceeds to Nemo’s room.

He raises his fist to knock before realizing that he doesn’t need to and lets himself into the room. He finds Nemo at the desk with his head resting on top of the desk as he draws his dainty fingers softly over the desk, as though he is writing something. Wil moves closer and smiles at Nemo’s finger that is writing _WIL_ over and over on the desk.

Nemo’s eyes are wide open as usual and he has a delicate smile playing on his lips. Wil nervously kneads the back of his neck, wondering how to ask Nemo. Well, he had the balls to ask Adrian, but how can he ask Nemo? What if Nemo doesn’t want to go out with him?

After a minute of hesitation, Wil starts to raise a hand to Nemo’s shoulder, but Nemo rises to his feet. He grips onto the desk for support as he wobbles shakily to the window. He leans against the wall to brace himself. Wil frowns at Nemo’s trembling legs as the boy reaches out to water bottle. Wil silently watches Nemo water the plant before he steps closer and curls a hand around Nemo’s forearm.

Nemo shudders and freezes. “Uh,” he lets out, bringing a hand to Wil’s chest and he stiffens again in horror. He retrieves his hand at once and blushes deeply.

Wil cautiously takes Nemo’s arm and drags his finger along it. _SLEEP WELL?_

Nemo nods his head shyly and when he lifts his hand, Wil automatically extends his arm. _WHAT ABOUT YOU._

_I DID TOO._

They fall silent again. Oh, man up and ask him already, Wil chides himself. But before he could do it, Nemo writes on his arm again. _YOU ARE JAEVONN’S FRIEND._

_YES._

_HOW LONG WILL YOU STAY._

Wil hesitates to write a reply. _WEEKEND._

The colour fades from Nemo’s cheeks as he bows his head, leaning heavily against the wall, his free hand gripping the windowsill. He takes Nemo’s arm and writes, _DO YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME?_

Nemo blinks in confusion. _WHERE._

_THERE IS A PLACE IN TOWN._

_WITH YOU,_ he writes, looking astonished and in disbelief.

_YES. WITH ME._

That instant, Wil knows he is done for, when Nemo grins like a child experiencing his first snow day. Flushing, Nemo nods his head, biting his smiling lip.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains only Wil's story. So you can skip it if you're not interested.

“There,” Finn grunts as he rises back to his feet, covered in dust and oil once he is done playing around with the oven Adrian had been struggling with since morning. “It should be working fine now.”

Wil smiles at the man. “I’ll let Adrian know when he’s back,” he says, topping the avocado slices and scrambled egg with whole-wheat bread. He pauses to study the golden-haired man wiping the sweat beads on his eyebrows. Finn can’t be any older than Wil’s own parents, most likely younger. And he’s definitely not as old as Adrian, but they seem like they share a great deal of history together.

“You know, you’re not half as bad for a Pantherinae,” Finn says, smirking as he pulls his shirt back on.

Wil shrugs. “You’re not half as bad for a Lycan.”

“Touché,” Finn chuckles.

“I take it that you’re not a fan of felines?”

“Not really… I don’t hate them,” the man says, sighing. “But some of them sure can be a pain in the butt.”

“Like Jaedyn,” Wil says and observes Finn’s face that turn sullen forthwith. “You know, he can be many things, but… he’s steadfast. Once you get to know him—”

“What? He’ll grow on you?” Finn scoffs, shaking his head.

“No. He’ll be an even bigger sore in the back,” Wil smiles. “But he knows what he wants and he’s not the type to back out of any challenge. One time, Jaecen was picked on by the school jerks and Jaedyn stood up for his brother, even though he had absolutely no chance of winning against those bullies. He got a side of his head rammed in and the next day, his dad came to school, ready to give everyone there a piece of his mind. No one saw the rest of those bullies ever again.”

Finn looks away, scrubbing his beard. “He deserves better,” is all that Finn says before he turns to peer out the window.

Wil shifts his attention to Jaedyn who saunters into the kitchen, wearing a glum look on his face and a miserably frown. He freezes to the ground for a moment when he meets Finn’s gaze, but quickly recovers and casually makes his way to the refrigerator to grab himself a carton of orange juice.

“Good afternoon,” Wil says. “Coffee?”

“Gross. Who’d drink that unless they’re 60 or depressed,” Jaedyn mutters and swigs straight from the carton. He then reaches for the sandwiches and Wil slaps his hand away. “Ow.”

“Not for you, lazy bum.” Wil picks up the plates and heads upstairs. He stops when he finds Jaevonn by the window, gazing at the forest and the flitting wild birds. “Knock, knock.”

Jaevonn doesn’t turn around as he continues to stand idly looking out the window.

“Avocado-egg sandwich?” Wil says and places the plates on the windowsill. Jaevonn lowers his head, looking incredibly bothered about something. Then Wil recalls the incident from last night and sighs. “You okay, champ?”

Jaevonn lets out a heavy breath and finally meets Wil’s gaze, looking a little embarrassed. “I’m such an idiot,” he says in a low murmur.

Wil laughs and wraps his arms around his friend’s shoulders. “Then, you’re my favourite idiot.”

“Wil—”

“Jaevonn,” Wil cuts in, pulling away and running a hand through his hair as he paces the room. “Look, don’t… don’t get all worked up over last night, okay? I’m cool with it. We all wonder these things at some point. But what’s important is that we know what we want.”

Jaevonn drops his gaze. “I actually don’t,” he whispers and Wil’s stomach clenches. “I was… thinking about it all night. Actually, every night since the first time we… shared jokes and the first time you were there for me when I just needed a shoulder to cry on.”

Clearing his throat, Wil laughs and helps himself to Jaevonn’s luggage. “Can I borrow one of your jackets?”

“Wil, are you listening?”

Wil fishes out the black varsity jacket he had loaned Jaevonn on a rainy night when he had walked Jaevonn home, which Jaevonn never returned. **WILLIAM. R 10** , Wil reads off the back of the letterman jacket. “This will do,” he says.

“Wil,” Jaevonn prompts.

“I can’t believe you stole it and never returned,” Wil chuckles nervously and takes his shirt off, standing in front of the full-length mirror. He surveys his well-defined abdominal muscles and biceps, which definitely need some good workout session soon. He then grabs the white shirt he had worn on his way here and puts it on.

When he finally dares himself to look at Jaevonn’s reflection in the mirror, his heart sinks upon noticing the frown on Jaevonn’s miserable face.

“How does this look?” Wil asks after rolling the shirt’s sleeves to his elbows and donning the varsity jacket. He turns around to face Jaevonn, but he is rendered paralyzed when a pair of warm lips crash against his as Jaevonn’s fist clutches Wil’s shirt.

Wil clenches his eyes, breathing low and quiet, as he raises a hand to cup the back of Jaevonn’s head. Jaevonn slides a hand into Wil’s hair as he stands on the tip of his toes to reach Wil’s mouth. He then parts his lips and lets his hot breath graze the tip of Wil’s tongue before chasing Wil’s lips again, but stops when Wil pulls back, pressing a hand on his shoulder.

“Vonn,” Wil sighs, cracking his eyes open. He scowls with his eyebrows knotted and huffs deeply before stepping away from Jaevonn. This isn’t wrong. This is nowhere near wrong. In fact, this is what Wil has wanted for so long. But it feels wrong now.

“What, Wil?” Jaevonn pants, glassy-eyed and out of breath.

Wil licks his lips, looking away while scratching his head. “I… I promised dad that I’d call him,” he mutters and beats for a retreat, hurrying out of the room as fast as his feet could carry him.

 

* * *

 

He restlessly hops on his toes, swinging the car keys relentlessly around his fingers. He pulls his phone out of his jeans’ pocket to check if there’s any text messages from his parents. No signal. Then he checks the time on his wrist watch. He isn’t sure what he’s nervous for. He’s been avoiding Jaevonn all day and honestly, he is in no mood to go on a bloody date at the moment. He feels like a coward for running away like that. But what could have he done? He had wanted to kiss Jaevonn back. He had wanted to ask him if they can be boyfriends. He had wanted many things before. Jesus, he could run upstairs now and kiss the shit out of Jaevonn and all order will be restored. They could start dating, they’d be the power couple in school, the kings of homecoming, and Wil will have the guy of his dreams in his arms kissing him in the hallways whenever he wants. Life will be normal, life will be happy.

But then he turns to look at Adrian assisting his son out of the house. Nemo giggles softly when his father kisses his temple and writes something on his forearm. Wil’s jaw falls slacking a little as he feels a little short-winded when he looks at Nemo in the evening twilight. Nemo has his hair neatly combed, though the front adamantly curtains his eyes. He’s wearing a simple shirt and black jeans.

Life doesn’t need to be normal to be happy.

Adrian then glances at Wil, who rushes to Nemo’s side at once. Nemo shudders when Wil’s arm snakes around his back, ushering him towards the car. Wil bites his lip as he carefully guides Nemo into the passenger seat. God, he smells wonderful.

“Be back before eight,” Adrian orders in a gruff voice, but under the hard façade, the happiness is palpable.

“Yes, sir,” Wil says, grinning from ear to ear. Adrian looks a little worried, but he manages a small smile.

“He’s… really happy that he’s going out with you,” Adrian mutters, as though Nemo could hear him. “Thanks.”

“You say thanks when you receive a favour or a gift,” Wil says, smirking. “So, I should be the one to thank you.”

Adrian slaps on Wil’s back and nods towards the driver’s seat.

“What’s… going on here?” Wil bites his tongue when Jaevonn shows up with a curious brow.

“Your friend is taking Nemo to dinner. Didn’t he tell you?” Adrian says, throwing a thick arm over his nephew’s shoulders. For a second, Jaevonn stares in shock with bulging eyes. Then looking at Wil, he frowns.

“He sure didn’t,” he says in a low, shivering voice. Adrian’s smile falters as his gaze bounces back and forth between Wil and Jaevonn.

“Yeah,” Wil manages, smiling forcedly. “Will be back soon, champ.” He then jumps into the car before Jaevonn could say anything. He starts the engine and Nemo jumps in his seat. Wil smiles to himself and leans over the boy to help Nemo fasten the seatbelt. Nemo twitches when Wil’s breath caresses his cheek and he reflexively raises his hands to touch Wil’s arm.

Wil gently grabs hold of Nemo’s forearm and writes, _READY?_

Nemo nods his head, smiling faintly, as though he is trying to seem calm, even if he is basically palpitating with joy. Wil catches a glimpse of Jaevonn before he shifts the gear and steers the car toward the road. He turns the radio on full blast as usual, resting a hand on the gear stick while the other clutches the wheel. The nearby town is smaller than Itcara, with a population probably less than 3000.

He looks at Nemo who is tapping his fingers on his knees, in sync with the beats that is thundering against the car seat. Wil grins and moves his hand from the gear stick to Nemo’s hand. Nemo retrieves his hand with a start and gasps like he has been torched.

Then calming down, he hesitantly takes Wil’s hand resting on his lap. Instead of holding Wil’s hand, he drags his fingers between Wil’s, tracing the palm lines, the protruding veins on Wil’s wrist, the trimmed fingernails, and stops when his fingers touch the leather strap of the watch. Nemo gasps silently in excitement at his new discovery and frowns when Wil momentarily withdraws his hand to shift the gear. Wil quickly replaces his hand on Nemo’s knee to let him finish his discovery.

Nemo then yanks Wil’s jacket sleeve up to write on his arm. Wil keeps an eye on the road and the other on his arm, trying to read what is being written. _WIL._

Wil smiles, licking his lips. He can’t remember ever being this content and full of love. He brings a finger to Nemo’s arm and writes, _NEMO_. Nemo smiles shyly, hanging his head.

The Italian Shack should be infamous for being the shabbiest restaurant in existence. But it is probably the only decent place to eat in this town. Which must also be why it’s so darn crowded. He highly doubts this place takes reservations. He is used to eating in the finest places in Harvington, but at least he is not as snobby as the Marion triplets, who wave their father’s money around. So long there’s good food, he’d eat anywhere.

The restaurant reeks of Lycans and other form of pests when he enters with Nemo secured in one of his arms. “Hi,” he says to the only waitress he sees in the restaurant and she doesn’t even bother to smile as she points him in the direction of an unoccupied table.

Wil nods his head in gratitude and proceeds towards the table. He makes sure Nemo is comfortable in his chair before he takes his seat across the dark-haired boy.

 _WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EAT?_ Wil writes on Nemo’s arm.

Nemo doesn’t respond immediately as he breathes heavily at a fast pace, twitching and shuddering hard every time the floorboards boom with heavy footsteps. Wil frowns, extending a hand to hold Nemo’s. He rubs the back of Nemo’s hand with his thumb as a comforting gesture, but Nemo only recoils, starting to fight for breath.

“What would you like to order?” the waitress asks, tapping her notepad on the table and Nemo jumps, startled.

Wil snarls at the waitress. “Can you give us a moment?” he hisses.

The waitress glowers, cocking a thick brow. “Look, son. I got no time. Do you see this place?” she spits.

Nemo’s eyes begin to water as he whimpers, squeezing Wil’s hand, as though it’s a call for help.

“Just… one minute,” Wil says through his grit teeth. “Please.”

The waitress huffs and walks away. Wil takes Nemo’s hands into his and squeezes them gently. He then scribbles on Nemo’s arm, _IT IS OKAY. WE ARE JUST HERE TO EAT. I’M HERE._

Nemo sucks in a few deep breaths before he finally manages to calm down.

“Helga!” someone shouts from the back and Wil turns to stare at the gang of Lycan boys sneering straight at him. “I think you let a stray in!”

Wil clenches his jaw and returns his attention to Nemo. _FISH AND CHIPS?_ he asks Nemo.

Nemo nods his head shakily, still looking rather perturbed.

“Ready to order?” the waitress returns with a deeper scowl this time.

“Yeah. Two platters of fish and chips, please,” Wil says as politely as he could.

“Serve him and his dirt-blood Lycan boy a fresh bowl of your shit, Helga! Pantherinaes dig that,” another cries and a roaring laughter follows. “Fucking Pantherinaes. Breeding Lycans with their filthy seed. That’s what happens when Lycans start breeding with these fucking Pantherinaes. Infertile fucked up defected offspring!”

Wil jolts up to his feet and stomps over to the table of Lycans, grabbing a beer bottle from another table on his way. The restaurant plummets into an immediate chaos when he slams the bottle on the back of one of the Lycans and as another shoots up to his feet, he bares his fangs, holding the broken glass bottle at the guy’s throat.

“Cut it out!” the waitress cries when the Lycans lunge at Wil, who retaliates at full speed. The fight is broken up before it even starts and Wil yanks his arms free from a Lycan’s grip.

“That’s it! Run off!” the Lycan yaps when he starts to walk away. “Go back to breeding your dirty abomination!”

Wil scoffs without stopping and sticks his middle finger up in the air. Nemo is fiddling with the rivulets of water on the sweating glass, completely oblivious to what has just happened. He freezes when Wil curls an arm around his waist and helps him to his feet.

 _WE ARE LEAVING_ , Wil writes quickly on Nemo’s arm and pulls his wallet out to toss a few bills onto the table before meandering out of the restaurant.

Nemo doesn’t ask anything until they are in the car and the engine is revving. He then reaches out for Wil’s hand. _WHAT HAPPENED._

 _NOTHING_ , Wil replies.

He drives in silence. Night has fallen, every light of the day eaten away. His parents taught him to handle every situation by being composed and level-headed. But they also taught him to stand up for himself and his loved ones and never back down if the situation calls for it. It reminds Wil of his days back in his second year when he was involved in this sticky fight with one of his seniors back then, in which he had broken the senior’s face and was arrested. He was almost sent to the juvenile hall.

He pulls over when he spots a bench and a waffle stand nearby at the edge of the hill that looks down at the small, dull town. Well, he wanted to give Nemo a good evening and a good dinner, this isn’t so bad.

He assists Nemo to the bench and tells him to wait for a moment as he runs to get a couple of freshly made waffles that warm his hands while the cold wind slaps against his cheeks and back. Nemo smiles when Wil fills the spot beside him and presses a pocket of waffle in his hand.

Nemo’s hand glides across Wil’s to write, _I THOUGHT FISH AND CHIPS TASTED DIFFERENT_.

Wil laughs and watches Nemo take a shy bite of the tip of the waffle. He quakes a little when the wind gusts at him. Wil quickly removes his jacket and drapes it over Nemo’s shoulder. They finish eating and Wil glances up at the starry night sky, letting out a heavy breath. This isn’t half bad, if he’s being honest. He then drops his gaze back to Nemo and thinks to himself that this sight can beat the night sky without a shadow of a doubt.

Nemo’s cheeks are pink against the cold. His glistening lips are quivering a little while his fingers feel the weather-worn wood of the bench. They then find Wil’s arm. _HOW DO YOU SAY YOUR NAME._

Wil blinks in confusion. “Uh…”

Nemo’s hand climbs up Wil’s chest, fingers skimming the buttons on Wil’s shirt until they touch Wil’s chin. He pauses to stroke the rough skin there before drawing his fingers to Wil’s lips. Pressing them softly against his lips, Nemo waits.

“Wil,” Wil says, his tongue pushing into Nemo’s fingers and breath warming them. Nemo parts his own lips and exhales. “Wil,” Wil repeats in a whisper and Nemo moves his lips slowly, as though to imitate Wil.

Wil says his name again and a short, soft whimper escapes Nemo’s lips. His concentration is hard like he is learning something important. Wil’s lips brush Nemo’s fingers again as he utters his name once more. Nemo then quickly brings his fingers to his own lips and presses them to his own mouth, mimicking the movements of Wil’s lips as he tries to say Wil’s name. The word comes out as a breathy, incoherent whisper.

Wil’s heart pounds in his chest as he curls a hand around Nemo’s wrist and draws his fingers away from his lips. Nemo stiffens when Wil brings their lips together in a warm, gentle kiss. Then he slowly mellows and Wil releases his wrist to let him hold a side of Wil’s face as he kisses him, deeply, softly, carefully.

When Wil breaks the kiss, but doesn’t pull away, Nemo shakily breathes against Wil’s lips, trying to say Wil’s name. Wil entangles his fingers in Nemo’s silky hair and kisses him again. That instant, he owns Nemo, the moment and the night.


	46. FINAL BONUS

Sehun examines the bruise on his wrist and smiles faintly as the water bulleting from the shower head washes over it. Kai had held nothing back last night when he pinned Sehun to the bed and ravaged him from head to toe until Sehun smelled of nothing but Kai’s scent that was etched all over his body.

The shower cubicle opens and Sehun grins to himself when Kai’s strong arms curl around his waist from behind before he feels Kai’s hot breath contesting the warm water trickling down Sehun’s nape.

“Are you clean yet?” Kai purrs, his hand lathing the curve of Sehun’s waist, caressing the bruise there. A result of merciless gripping from last night.

“That depends on what you have in mind right now,” Sehun mutters, leaning his head back on Kai’s shoulder as Kai sucks the water from the side of Sehun’s neck. “You’ve already caused enough bruises on my body to last a lifetime.”

Kai hums against his ear and nips the skin beneath Sehun’s earlobe. “Wish I could tattoo those bruises on you.”

Sehun licks the water off his lips, tilting his head to allow access for Kai to kiss his neck. “Kai, seriously. I’m sore all over.”

“Even better,” Kai sighs, pressing his cock against the crack of Sehun’s rear, rubbing against his lax opening. “Where are you bruised?”

Sehun lifts a hand and Kai carefully takes hold of his arm before bringing Sehun’s wrist to his lips to kiss it. Sehun lets out a soft breath.

“Where else?” Kai whispers.

Sehun steers Kai’s hand towards the bruise on the corner of his waist. “You’re an animal, by the way.”

Kai chuckles softly. “You are, too.”

“Yeah, but you’re a beast.”

Kai lowers to one of his knees and kisses the bruise on Sehun’s waist, his hot breath and tongue skimming the sore area. “The one flattering remark absolutely all sexually active men wants to hear.”

Sehun rolls his eyes, though Kai’s lips brushing his hip is utterly distracting.

“Where else are you sore?” Kai asks and Sehun purses his lips while his breathing quickens notably.

“Kai,” he lets out in a trembling breath as Kai’s mouth ventures to the small of his back before Kai plants a wet kiss to Sehun’s tailbone.

“Here?” Kai breathes against the tailbone, sliding his tongue lower.

They both freeze for a moment when Kai’s phone screeches from the bedroom. Sighing, Kai rises to his feet again and scoops Sehun in his arms before kissing his mouth. “Kai,” Sehun manages to get out between their mouths. “Your phone.”

“Ignore it,” Kai mumbles, pushing Sehun against the glass wall.

“It could be the kids.”

“I’ve taught them well. They’d never cockblock,” Kai murmurs on Sehun’s neck.

“Kai,” Sehun protests when the phone starts ringing again.

“Whoever the fuck invented this shit,” Kai exhales heavily and steps out of the bathroom. Sehun quickly towels himself and follows.

“Are you all right?” Kai asks, his eyebrows furrowed into a frown. After a moment, he says, “Yeah. I’ll meet you there.”

Sehun approaches him after he has hung up. “Who was it?”

“Taeyong,” Kai sighs, hastily looking for clothes in the closet.

“Is… something wrong?”

“No, but… he wants to see me.”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

“But,” Sehun says. “you have to be here. The guests will arrive soon. The kids will be here soon.”

“I’ll be back before that,” Kai mutters, sounding a little exasperated. “Besides, everyone knows their way around the manor. So, don’t worry.”

“But we still have some decoration to put up.”

“Chanyeol will be here soon to help. I have to go,” he grunts, pulling a shirt on. Sehun presses his lips into a thin line and stares at Kai. Whatever that he could say right now will end up in them fighting.

But he couldn’t help himself.

“Kai,” he starts, but Kai doesn’t entertain him as he stops before the mirror to run his hands through his wet hair. “I’ve thought enough about it. I… cannot share you.”

That catches Kai’s attention. He turns around to meet Sehun with a glower. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m saying that you have to choose,” Sehun spits. “Between me and Taeyong. I know I was the guy who left, who didn’t stand by you when you needed me, but you don’t know half the things I went through. But that’s in the past. I love you and I want to live with you. You are my mate, there’s no arguments there. I am only going to love you and let you touch me. But that isn’t the case with you. You’re allowed to be with whoever you want, all at once. I want you, Kai. That said, I cannot and _will_ not share you.”

Kai silently stares at him for a while. Then, he says, “I am no longer yours to share, Sehun.” He grabs his phone and car keys before storming out of the room, leaving Sehun to ponder on his own.

 

* * *

 

“Have you gotten all your things?” Adrian asks his nephews, who look like they haven’t eaten or laughed in a long time. All three of them. Wil hasn’t been able to chat any of them up in the past couple of days since he was busy with Nemo. Nothing heavy, just reading and laughing about silly matters. Nemo is a great listener and not exactly a man of few words either. He has plenty to say and is willing to listen to Wil’s endless whinges all night.

And when he laughs, Wil’s whole world brightens up. Nothing can compare to Nemo’s smile or the small stars in Nemo’s eyes when he’s truly happy.

Now that Wil is finally among the triplets, he notices that something is off in all three of them. Jaedyn’s eyes are puffy, his cheeks are saggy, his usual vibrancy is missing. Has been crying, Wil wonders. Probably over Finn? Speaking of Finn, the man has yet to make an appearance.

Jaevonn, well… He has been avoiding meeting Wil’s gaze for a while now. He usually doesn’t say much, but in the past couple of days, Wil hasn’t heard him say more than a few words.

Jaecen, on the other hand, looks like he might be ill. His face has gone ashen, the tip of his nose is red, he’s barely able to drag his weight. He might be coming along with the flu.

All in all, the triplets look like the world has doomed around them. This might be a bad time for a surprise party.

“Come visit again soon,” Adrian says, ruffling Jaecen’s hair.

“Of course, Uncle Adrian,” Jaecen says and gives him a brief hug before turning to help Wil with loading the car with the bags.

“I got it,” Wil says, rubbing Jaecen’s back. “Did you eat anything?”

“Yeah,” Jaecen sighs and rubs his forehead. He doesn’t argue to help as he moves to climb into the car.

When Jaevonn steps closer to hand Wil his bags, he pauses for a moment to stare at Wil. Well, at least he’s looking at him now. “Vonn—” Wil starts to say, but Jaevonn shakes his head, hanging it. “We need to talk.”

“No, we don’t,” Jaevonn hisses, taking Wil by surprise with his harsh tone. Wil blinks as Jaevonn jumps in the backseat.

Licking his lips, Wil turns to look at Adrian, who is staring at him with a piercing gaze. At his side, Jaedyn is looking fixedly into the woods, towards Finn’s cottage.

“I should… say goodbye to Nemo,” Wil says, his heart already sinking deep.

Adrian nods his head curtly and brings a hand to Wil’s chest when Wil starts walking past him. “Don’t make him any promise you cannot keep,” Adrian orders in a low, gruff voice. Wil bows his head and proceeds towards Nemo’s room.

He hasn’t rehearsed the goodbye. He doesn’t know where this leaves them. It seems obvious that Nemo knows the potential of them being more than just friends. He knows that Wil isn’t doing any of this out of pity. He knows that when Wil kisses him, it’s magical. He also probably knows that Wil won’t stay.

Nemo is sitting on the bed with his head hung low. Wil musters the courage and approaches him. When he places a hand on Nemo’s shoulder, Nemo doesn’t shudder. He has been expecting Wil.

 _I’M LEAVING_ , Wil writes on Nemo’s arm, kneeling at the bedside.

Nemo doesn’t reply as he continues to keep his head low. Wil’s heart shatters when he sees the drop of tear rolling down Nemo’s pale cheek.

 _I WILL COME BACK,_ he writes and Nemo still doesn’t reply. He is tightly holding onto a folded paper, which Wil wants to wrench from his hands and toss it away. _WILL YOU WAIT FOR ME?_

Nemo finally nods his head as tears continue to trickle down his face. He then holds out the folded paper. Wil takes it and unfurls it. _Dear Wil,_ he reads. Nemo has typewritten him a letter. Wil folds the letter and pockets it before cupping the back of Nemo’s neck to press a kiss to his forehead.

He then rises to his full height, swallowing a sob and blinking the tears away. For the first time ever, he feels the pain of parting with someone. The pain is knifing into his heart, carving out a hole as he walks out of the room.

He has a reason to come back to this place and the next time he does, he doesn’t want to part ways with Nemo again.

Adrian looks away from Jaedyn when Wil walks out of the house, wearing an insincere smile to hide the agony the behind. “I… ought to thank you,” Adrian says, clapping a hand on Wil’s shoulder. “I’ve never seen my son that happy and I have you to thank for that.”

“If you’ll have me back here, I’d like to come visit in the summer.”

Adrian smiles. “You’ll always be welcome here.”

When Wil turns to Jaedyn, the boy’s eyes widen at Finn, who finally shows up, looking like it hasn’t been a good day for him either. Jaedyn glances away and starts towards the car. Wil bids Adrian goodbye one last time before jumping into the driver’s seat.

Jaedyn pauses for a minute and hesitates before he turns around and runs to Finn.

Finn doesn’t voice an objection when Jaedyn pounces on him, clinging to his neck like he never wants to let go. Jaedyn buries his face in Finn’s chest for a moment before he pulls away and enters the car.

“All set?” Wil asks the triplets. None answers. Well, at least it’ll be a quiet ride.

 

* * *

 

“Happy birthday!” Baekhyun and his daughter shriek when Sehun gets the door.

“It’s not his birthday,” Chanyeol says when he walks over to them, gathers his husband in his arms and kisses Baekhyun’s lips. Sehun smiles at them while their daughter grimaces.

“Daddy, that’s gross,” she whines, clinging onto the hem of Chanyeol’s shirt. She must have recently turned eleven, Sehun thinks.

“You’re just jealous you've got no boyfriend and I do,” Chanyeol mumbles, kissing Baekhyun even more deeply. Baekhyun slaps his husband’s chest and pulls away.

“Hey, Sehun,” Baekhyun says, smiling pleasantly as always. Chanyeol picks up his daughter and peppers her cheek with kisses as she giggles, shoving his face away. Sehun isn’t sure if it is regret or jealousy that bubbles in his stomach. Perhaps both. The fact that Baekhyun and Chanyeol could be so in love even after this long gives him some hope.

“Aleana,” Baekhyun greets Kai and Chanyeol’s aunt when she approaches them with a warm smile.

Sehun glances at the crowd and though he is grateful that so many people showed up, he feels like a fish out of water. To these people, he will always be the Lycan that abandoned Kai and the kids. Well, they aren’t wrong to think so.

Sehun moves to stand in the corner as he tries for Kai’s phone. Kai doesn’t pick up.

The cake’s here, the food’s ready, the decoration seems fine, all the guests are here, Wil texted that they will arrive soon. Kai is nowhere to be seen.

The thought of Kai being with Taeyong right now is slowly killing his patience and composure.

“You okay?” Baekhyun asks, approaching Sehun with a smile and a cup of punch.

“Yeah,” Sehun lets out, accepting the drink. “How have you been?”

“Busy,” Baekhyun sighs. “And you?”

“Fine,” Sehun murmurs.

“Where’s Kai?”

“He… went out for a while to meet someone. He should be here in a moment.”

“How are you… holding up? I know this must be difficult for you.”

Sehun smiles, swallowing hard. “I’m trying. But… it just feels like I don’t fit in here anymore,” he sighs, thinking about the hundred different ways he could fuck up Kai’s perfectly fine life now. Kai should be with Taeyong, who’s not only a Pantherinae, but is also better suited for Kai’s personality. Sehun and Kai were never meant to be together. Circumstance had brought them to both unison and separation. Sehun never should have come back into Kai’s life. He never should have wanted to stay.

But even the small glimpse of the life he could have had with Kai is enough. He’s gotten the glimpse now. He’s not going to ask for anything more. So long Kai and the kids are happy, Sehun can live on with just the thought of them.

“Speak of the devil,” Baekhyun says and Sehun’s gaze follows his. His body feels immediately weak as his stomach clenches painfully when he sees Kai entering the house with Taeyong at his side, with an arm drawn over Taeyong’s shoulders.

Sehun tries to stop the tears from threatening his eyes, but gives in completely when Kai looks in his way and smiles. Wiping the corners of his eyes, Sehun hurries towards the door and brushes past Kai, wending his way out of the house as fast as he could.

“Sehun?” Kai calls after him, but Sehun doesn’t stop to respond. “Hey, Sehun,” Kai grunts as he runs up to him and grabs hold of Sehun’s arm, spinning him around to face him. “Where are you going?”

“Let go, Kai,” Sehun exhales as the tears blind him. “I never should have come back.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Kai asks, tightening his grip on Sehun’s arm.

“You belong with… with anyone but me. To come to think of it, we never even should have had the kids. You didn’t even want them. We… we have nothing in common, Kai. I was stupid to think that I could just walk back into your life and order will be restored. I was wrong.”

Kai huffs. “Are you done?”

Sehun looks up at him with wet cheeks. “Yes. With everything, in fact.”

“Then hear me out now. Taeyong wanted me to choose, too. He was… willing to give everything up to be with me. That was all that he asked. But if I didn’t choose him, he promised that we’ll still be on good terms,” he says and pulls Sehun’s arm until their faces are only inches apart. “I couldn’t… choose him. Hell, I wouldn’t have been able to choose him even if you didn’t show up a few days ago. I will… always choose you, Sehun. From the moment I saw you, when we were kids, from the moment I got you the red ball and you snubbed me, befriended Jongin instead, and agreed to marry me for the sake of your kind, I’ve always chosen you. Love doesn’t die out just like that. Not true love. And I love you. Now and probably forever. Which was why I had to let you go. Which is why I still can’t bring myself to blame you for not wanting me the same I wanted you. I’m a monster that killed people, that hurt you. But I’m most humane when I’m with you, too. I can assure you, there isn’t a part of me that doesn’t want you or love you.”

Sehun loses the last drop of his breath when Kai cups his face and leans closer.

“So, let me ask you this now,” Kai whispers, wiping the tear from Sehun’s cheek with his thumb. “Will you marry me, Sehun?”

Sehun chuckles through the tears, unsure of whether he is laughing or crying. “Again?” he breathes, clutching Kai’s shirt.

“Yeah. But let’s a throw a wedding bigger and grander than Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s this time. We also already have a complete set of bridesmaids, which we created,” Kai laughs against Sehun’s lips. “Maybe have our wedding night in Vienna, honeymoon at five different places.”

“What would the kids say?”

“To their fathers marrying each other? We’re their parents. We don’t have to answer to them.”

 “What happened to not doing relationships?”

 “I figured I could screw up ten more relationships if they’re with you.”

Sehun brings their foreheads together and smiles. “Yes,” he whispers.

“What?”

“I said yes. I’ll marry you.”

Kai tightens his arms around Sehun’s waist and kisses him, claiming Sehun’s lips to make a promise.

“Dad?!”

“Papa?!”

Sehun and Kai break apart from each other to turn and look at their children gaping at them as they hurry out of the car.

“What the heck?!” Jaedyn spits.

“This is unbelievable,” Jaevonn says. “You guys are unbelievable!”

Wil blinks confusedly at everyone.

“Care to clue us in the next time you guys are making up and making _out_?!” Jaedyn cries, throwing his hands up in a fit.

“We thought you were fighting for ages and now you’re kissing?!” Jaevonn grates.

Kai sighs at Sehun’s side, keeping his arm curled around Sehun’s back. “Welcome to the next few insufferable years of your life,” Kai whispers into Sehun’s ear. “Happy birthday, kids. We’re throwing you guys an early birthday party.”

“Unbelievable,” Jaedyn says, gawking at his parents. “Do you have any idea how many weeks we’ve all spent planning a way to hook you up with Papa?!” he yells at Kai.

“If you had spent half that time studying, you might have raised the chance of you graduating next year along with your brothers,” Kai says in a strict tone, one that Sehun hasn’t really heard before.

Jaedyn pouts and crosses his arms over his chest. Jaevonn shakes his head and walks over to Kai to hug him. “Does this mean you guys are back together?” he asks Kai, smiling with hope in his tired eyes.

Sehun leans on Kai’s shoulder and nods his head. “I think so,” he mutters.

Kai pulls away suddenly, his face turning glum and eyebrows drawing together in something like concern. He walks over to Jaecen, who is leaning heavily against the car, looking extremely fatigued to utter even a word. Sehun approaches him at once.

“Jaecen?” Kai calls, placing a hand on Jaecen’s shoulder. “Son? Are you all right?”

Jaecen nods, his face crumpling in pain and exhaustion. He falls forward and hugs Kai before breaking into a sob against Kai’s chest. “Dad,” he gasps and Kai worriedly strokes the back of Jaecen’s head.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Kai whispers, brushing his lips on top of Jaecen’s head. Sehun frowns, rubbing Jaecen’s back.

“Jaecen? What’s wrong?” Sehun inquires as his son sobs into Kai’s chest.

“I don’t know what to do, Dad,” Jaecen cries, snivelling hard when he pulls back. “I… I did a mistake.”

“Jaecen, stop crying,” Kai says in a gentle order as he cups his son’s cheeks. The concern is palpable in Kai’s distressed gaze. “I’m here, aren’t I? Tell me what’s wrong. I’ll take care of it.”

“You… can’t, Dad,” Jaecen whispers, burying his face in Kai’s chest again.

Kai looks sharply at Jaedyn and Jaevonn. “What happened?” he asks them. They shake their heads, gaping wide at their sobbing brother.

“Jaecen,” Sehun says, taking hold of his son’s arm. “Calm down. You have to tell us what happened if you want us to help you.”

Jaecen sniffs and raises his head. He quickly drops his gaze like even meeting Kai’s gaze embarrasses him. Kai then releases Jaecen’s shoulders and takes a step back, sighing deeply and palming his forehead. “He’s pregnant,” Kai says, running a hand through his hair before clutching it.

Sehun turns to stare at Jaecen, who breaks into a louder sob as his brothers and Wil run to his comfort.

“I’m sorry, Dad,” Jaecen mewls, as though the fact that he has let down his father is more painful for him than the state he is in.

“It’s okay, honey,” Sehun says, letting Jaecen lean against him and cry into his chest.

“It’s _not_ okay, Sehun!” Kai spits. “This is what happens when you go fooling around instead of sitting at home and studying, doing what you’re supposed to be doing at your age!”

“Kai!” Sehun protests. “ _You_ weren’t doing any of that at his age.”

“Look at where that has landed me.”

Jaecen continues to sob heavily.

Sehun strokes Jaecen’s hair as Kai paces the driveway, scrubbing his face with his palms.

Then, Kai comes to a halt and he pulls Jaecen into a fierce embrace while his own eyes sheen with tears. “It’s gonna be okay,” he promises Jaecen in a low whisper. “Who is it?”

Jaecen hesitates to answer.

“Jaecen, who were you with?” Kai demands in a firmer tone.

“It doesn’t matter,” Jaecen says. “He won’t take the responsibility, Dad. It was… just a one-time thing for him. I’m not his… mate.”

“He has a mate, then?”

Jaecen nods shakily.

“Fuck,” Kai lets out. A moment later, he says, “We’ll figure this out. Let’s get inside first.”

When Kai looks at Wil, Wil says, “I won’t tell anyone.”

Kai mutters a ‘thanks’ and turns to Sehun as the kids meander into the houses. “Well, I apparently didn’t raise them well enough,” Kai says, dropping his face onto Sehun’s shoulder.

Sehun strokes Kai’s back as his own head swims in confusion. “What do we do now?”

“He’s too young,” Kai says, straightening up. “We’ll have to consider all of the options.”

Sehun scowls. “Including abortion.”

“If it calls for it, yes.”

“If he decides to keep it?”

“Are you kidding me? He can’t even decide on which cereal to eat for breakfast. You think he’ll be able to decide whether he wants to keep the baby or not?”

“Kai,” Sehun says slowly. “Don’t… bring that up just yet. Let’s talk to him and the other father of the baby.”

Kai agrees with a nod of his head.


	47. J A E C E N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Each main character gets a short chapter!

“I will be so screwed if my dad finds out,” Jaecen mutters nervously as his friend prompts him into the nightclub.

“You need to stop being a goody-two-shoes,” Lola groans, flicking a lock of golden hair out of her face. “Isn’t the fake ID such a work of art?”

Jaecen glances down at the ID card, which he had paid a shit-tonne for, thanks to the influence of his rebellious friend. The music blaring in the nightclub pulses through his veins when he enters, almost instantly grimacing at the stench of Lycans and sweat in the club. Lola somehow managed to convince him that the Lycans’ nightclub in Harvington is the safest place for them to get wasted at without any Pantherinae discovering them, hence reporting Jaecen’s untoward act to Kai.

But still, he is dreading with trepidation of being recognized by someone in here. What if Uncle Julien shows up?

He earns a few curious glances as he courses past the crowd, meandering towards the bar with Lola.

“Two shots of _Hot Damn_ , please,” Lola places the order as Jaecen scans the dancefloor. “You need to loosen up,” she scoffs and hands Jaecen one of the shot glasses.

This isn’t the first time Jaecen has tried alcohol. He’s snuck a few of his father’s beer bottles to parties with Jaedyn before, but this is the first time he’s drinking something this strong. It has his head spinning immediately.

“Shit, that’s bad,” he drawls as his face crumples against the bitter taste in his mouth and pushes the glass away after one sip. Lola laughs and turns to look at a couple of boys grinning in her way.

“Let’s have some fun, shall we?” she mumbles and heads over to the dancefloor to entertain the boys. Jaecen sighs. He is momentarily distracted by the man that joins him at his side, ordering a glass of whiskey as he takes his seat on the stool. Jaecen stares at the Lycan for a moment, but quickly averts his gaze when the man turns to him. Swallowing, Jaecen glances at Lola, who is wasting herself away on the dancefloor. He should join her, he thinks. He’s here for a good time, after all.

“Are you lost?”

Jaecen turns his head to face the man sitting beside him with wide eyes. “Excuse me?”

The Lycan scoffs, shaking his head as he takes a sip of the whiskey. “How old are you?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business?”

“So, you’re underage,” the man snorts, smirking at Jaecen.

His stomach turns and knots. “No. I’m… 21. 20… 19.”

“Is this a missile launching or something?” the guy chuckles.

“19,” Jaecen settles after confirming with the date on his fake ID. “And you are? 30? 40? 50?”

The man turns to stare into Jaecen’s eyes. “I’m just wondering what a well-dressed Pantherinae like you doing in a filth like this.”

“I’m not… intimidated,” Jaecen admits. “I know your Alpha. I’m just here to have a good time.”

“Hmm… Cocky,” the man scoffs. “What’s your name, kid?”

Jaecen hesitates for a moment, studying the man’s appearance. He’s tall. Very tall. Broad-shouldered. Dark hair. Ridiculously handsome, even for someone his age. “It’s… Jaecen,” he mutters.

The man nods his head and holds a hand out. Jaecen takes it to shake it, but is taken aback when he gets yanked to his feet. “Kris,” the man says and shepherds Jaecen towards the toilet.

 _Stop, turn back, walk away, what are you doing_ , Jaecen’s heart pounds. But he obediently follows Kris into the toilet and doesn’t utter a word of protest until they’ve found an empty stall. Jaecen’s ears ring when he hears the moaning and banging from the stalls next door.

“I don’t think—” he starts, but is cut off when Kris’ lips silences him. He is slammed against the stall’s wall and his wrists are then pinned above his head. He stands there, frozen, unresponsive to the kiss as his whole body shuts down. What is… happening, he thinks as the pair of aggressive lips continues to devour his mouth.

“Well, you wanted to have a good time,” Kris mumbles against his throbbing lips and hoists Jaecen’s legs up to wrap them around his waist. A gasp escapes Jaecen’s mouth when Kris starts to grind against his crotch. “Are you nervous?”

Jaecen plants his fist in Kris’ hair as Kris moves to kiss his neck. “Y-yeah…” he pants, savouring every second of Kris’ hips slamming between his thighs as pressure builds up in his jeans.

“Is this your first time?” Kris huffs, gripping Jaecen’s arse harder.

“No…” Jaecen moans when Kris slides a hand into the back of his pants, brushing the tailbone. “I’ve been, uh, nervous before.”

Kris laughs despite himself and kisses Jaecen full on mouth. “Wanna go back to my place? My girlfriend’s out of town.”

Jaecen’s heart sinks a little, but he finds himself nodding his head shakily.


	48. W I L

Wil puts his phone away when his parents join him at the table. He smiles up at his fathers and commends one of them for the spectacular dinner.

“So, how was the trip?” his father asks. Wil shrugs, wondering how he should open up about Nemo.

“It was fine. You know the triplets. Never a dull moment with them around,” Wil mutters and takes a bite of the garlic bread.

“How is Jaevonn doing?”

“Well,” he says, swallowing the masticated bread. He takes a sip of the water nervously and smiles at his fathers, who eye him with scepticism.

“What’s wrong with you?” one of them asks as he spreads the napkin over his lap.

“Nothing. What do you mean?” Wil blinks.

“You look so jittery. Is everything all right? You’ve been cooped up in your room ever since you came back yesterday.”

“I’m all right, dad,” he says, failing to sound reassuring. He clears his throat and looks away when his fathers fix him with a knowing look.

“Is there something you want to tell us?” one of them says, smirking slyly. “Well, we won’t be surprised. A week away with that boy Jaevonn, whom you continue to insist is nothing but a friend.”

Wil gawks at his fathers snickering at each other. “Huh?”

“Did something… say, nice happen on your trip?” the other questions and Wil almost chokes on his spit.

“No! God! Dad, no! Why would you even think that?!”

“Why?” he scoffs. “Because we know that look, Wil. We know how you look at Jaevonn, your dad and I invented that look.” He turns to share a kiss with his husband and Wil rolls his eyes.

“No. Nothing of that sort happened,” he says. Well, technically, it is the truth. Kissing Jaevonn is something, but he wouldn’t say it was _nice_ per se. Strange, uncalled for, abrupt, at a horrible timing, maybe. He can’t even remember what kissing Jaevonn felt like. All that he _does_ remember, however, is the heat and softness of Nemo’s lips.

“I can’t believe we have to beg our son to date a boy,” his father groans, shaking his disappointedly as he knifes through baked salmon.

“I told you we were raising him to be a virgin for life,” the other chimes.

Wil gulps and sucks in a breath. “Dad?” he calls. “I… actually do have something to tell you.”

His fathers’ attention turns to him immediately.

Wil clears his throat. “But… it has nothing to do with Jaevonn.” He waits for his parents to say something, but when they don’t, he starts again, nervously. “There is… someone I like.”

“Please don’t tell me it’s that haughty Harold’s kid.”

“No, no,” Wil says quickly. “I…” he bites lip, smiling a little when he thinks about Nemo chuckling softly when Wil had told him he looked beautiful. “I met someone when I went to Jaevonn’s uncle’s place.”

His fathers are dead silent.

“I really… like him,” he mutters, licking his lips. “And he likes me too.”

“Well, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” his father laughs. “Bring this boy home!”

“No, Dad,” he drawls. “He’s a… hybrid. Just like Jaevonn. His name is Nemo.”

He receives no reply from either of his parents as they outstare him. A moment later, his father sighs. “I see no trouble in that,” he says, smiling. “If you like him, then we’re fine with it. Of course, we were hoping you’d settle down with someone with a more sophisticated name.” He chuckles.

Hesitantly, Wil continues. “There’s something else… His father used to be the Alpha of the pack in Itcara before he was sent into exile and his mate died. Nemo is… he has a condition with his backbone and it makes it difficult for him to walk. The defect also caused him problems with his eyesight. His… hearing isn’t fully developed either. He was born premature, too. So, in a nutshell, he’s not… like us.”

He has never seen his fathers this quiet, it almost has his blood running cold.

“He’s ill?” his father says at last, palming his forehead.

Wil frowns. “Dad, it’s not a problem. He still functions like a normal human being.”

“Are you kidding me, Wil?!” the man roars, slamming his hands on the table. “We didn’t raise you so that we could watch you struggle with someone with all the damn diseases in this world!”

Wil shoots up to his feet, clenching his jaw. “I love him, dad,” he spits.

“Honey,” his other father says to his husband, as though to calm the man down.

“Like hell you do!” his father yaps. “You are not some saint to be so self-sacrificing. Years from now, you’d look back at this decision and hate yourself for it!”

Wil’s jaw drops. He has never seen this side of his father before. “Do you even hear how insensitive you are being right now?” he says to his father, balling his hands into fists at his sides.

“I don’t care. If it is for the well-being of my son, then I won’t mind being the monster. You are never to see that boy again, do you understand? I’m a selfish father. I will not see my son suffer.”

“What makes you think I’ll suffer?” Wil snarls back.

“You’re young. You won’t understand anything right now.”

“Wil, sit down,” his other father says.

“No!” Wil barks. “All this while, I thought you were the best parents someone could get. But now, I’m pretty sure you just look out for your own tails!”

“Wil!” his father cries. “If you dare to see that boy again, I swear—”

“Watch me,” Wil spits and runs up to his room.

Slamming the door shut, he fights for breath, dropping his head against the door. His breathing slows down when he looks to Nemo’s letter lying on the desk. He’s been saving to read it later, amidst the whole Kai and Sehun getting back together and Jaecen being pregnant and Jaevonn ignoring him drama.

What if his father is right, he wonders as he picks up the letter and plumps on the edge of his bed. What if this feeling wears off? What will it do to Nemo? Can Wil stay by his side and promise to look after him for the rest of the time?

He unfolds the paper and starts to read with his heart pounding in his chest.

_Dear Wil,_

_Thank you_

_Thank you. For my first kiss._

_Thank you. For treating me like I was just a boy._

_Thank you. For showing up in my life._

_Thank you. For being a brief light in my darkness._

_Thank you. For giving me something I never thought I could get in this life. The past few days with you have been the best, happiest days of my life. I cannot thank you enough for that. But I also cannot ask for more. When you leave here, I know that you will not return and I have made my peace with it. I am grateful that I was able to get a small taste of the life I might have had with someone like you if only life were so full of joy._

_Thank you, Wil. Because of you, I am now believing there are colours in life and there are whispers in the wind._

_Yours,_

_Nemo._

Wil folds the letter and puts it away. He stares at the wall for a moment.

Maybe that’s what it is meant to be. Just a brief light in the darkness. A fleeting moment of romance. Nothing more. Maybe Wil’s future is with Jaevonn, not Nemo.

He shoots up to his feet and grabs a backpack from the closet before stuffing it with his clothes.


	49. T A E Y O N G

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some evil people swayed me into writing this T_T and I yielded. Because Taeyong deserves justice.

Link to chapter → <http://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/c5f03d_19ca3afb84144081aa089709e6e3050b.pdf>


	50. J A E V O N N

Jaevonn slams the book close and proceeds to stare idly at the ceiling. All his life, he’s read hundreds of romance novels, but never once had he thought he’d be caught right inside one. The sudden longing, the irritation of suffering rejection, the grief of loss. It’s all there.

Actually, he isn’t even sure why he’s so bothered by the fact that Wil refused. And chose Nemo in the process. Plus, it’s not like Jaevonn won’t find some other partner. Nemo, on the other hand…

But still, it doesn’t give him peace to think that it cannot be just him and Wil anymore. All this while, he feels as though he had taken Wil for granted. He has always known that he feels something more for the brown-haired, hot mess of a guy than just casual friendship, but he hadn’t the urge to act on it until he started noticing Wil withdrawing from him in just a day.

He supposes Wil is his forbidden fruit. Now that he can’t have him, it only makes him want Wil even more.

But it isn’t fair to Nemo.

Groaning, he picks himself from the bed. It won’t do him any good just to stay in bed all day and mope. School starts next week, maybe he should start preparing for it.

He heads downstairs instead, hoping to gather some snacks. He pauses in front of his brother, Jaedyn’s room and peers in, only to find the red-haired staring out the window, his arms idle around the guitar.

“Dyn?” Jaevonn calls, but Jaedyn doesn’t respond. The guitar pick lies on the floor, unattended. “Jaedyn.”

His brother snaps out of whatever trance he was in and looks at Jaevonn with a scowl. “What?” he asks scornfully.

“Are you okay?”

Jaedyn’s lips are then pressed into a thin line. “Fine and dandy, sunny boy.”

Jaevonn shakes his head. “You pick up Dad’s worse habits and traits.”

“Yeah, I know. Thanks for acknowledging,” he spits and sets the guitar aside. “What on earth is taking them so long?”

Jaevonn sighs. “They should be back soon.”

For a moment, Jaedyn turns silent again and he stares out the room’s window. “I… heard Dad and Papa arguing last night,” he says, hanging his head.

“What?”

“I don’t want this to be our lives, Vonn. I’m happy that they’re trying to get back together, but hell if we have to endure their arguments and dysfunctional relationship. I’d rather they remain separated than to be in a family full of shit and drama.”

“What were they arguing about?” Jaevonn inquires.

“Jaecen, what else? Papa was against the whole… abortion thing.”

Jaevonn’s stomach clenches. “Oh.”

“It’s Jaecen’s choice,” Jaedyn spits. “How can they decide for him?!”

“And Jaecen’s choice was to let them decide for him,” Jaevonn points out and Jaedyn’s frown deepens. “What do you have in mind? Do you really want Jaecen to go through a pregnancy he’s unprepared for? You know Dad will never let that happen.”

“I know. I… know where Dad’s coming from. But still. What would he know about the pain of getting rid of a life that is already growing inside you?”

Jaevonn raises an eyebrow. “And what do _you_ know about it?”

“I know enough,” Jaedyn says sourly. “And I know that one day, he’d want me to do it, too.”

“God,” Jaevonn rasps and takes his seat on the bed beside his brother. “Why would you think that? Jaecen got knocked up by a random arsehole who even Jaecen doesn’t want to be with. Keeping the baby would be a reckless decision. God knows if Jaecen is even physically capable of carrying a Lycan child.”

“So, you all big on Dad’s decision, huh?” He springs up to his feet. “I don’t understand how gets the final say. For once, I’m glad that Papa is here and at least he tried to put up a fight.”

“Yeah. Papa didn’t even want us, but he had us. Then he left us.”

Jaedyn’s gaze softens at that.

Jaevonn sighs and strokes his brother’s arm. “Dad knows what he’s doing,” he says. “And I suggest you start thinking like an adult instead of like a lovelorn pup. We are all heartbroken one way or another, it’s not just you.”

“Oh, really? You’re a fucking poster boy, who would even break your heart?”

Jaevonn flushes and looks away. “Look. We need to be here for Jaecen now and that’s what matters. Don’t say these things to him and cause him distress when he comes back. He made up his mind, he didn’t want the child. Which was probably the wiser choice.”

“I don’t get how you’re so laidback about this.”

They remain in silence for a minute before Jaevonn decides to break it. “Why do you think Dad will force you to do something like if you… somehow ended up in Jaecen’s shoes in the future?”

Jaedyn rolls his shoulders back and exhales heavily. “Because he’s a control freak.”

“Stop it,” he chides. “Up until last week, you were worshipping him. And now, he’s a control freak because he wants the best for us?”

“He hates Uncle Adrian. When I… once tried to talk to him about Finn, he sounded like he didn’t even regard Finn as a person. Do you think he’ll ever give us his blessing?”

“You are unbelievable, Dyn. It’s Dad we’re talking about. The man who struggled with us from the day we were born. Remember when Uncle Chanyeol told us how Dad used to carry you and walk around the house for hours and hours because you were constipated and he was scared shitless? He said it was killing him to see _you_ cry and be in discomfort.”

Jaedyn groans as his cheeks redden. Jaevonn smiles.

“Or do you remember when Dad used to stay up all night to nurse Jaecen when he was sick? Or the time when he went on a full search to look for the hamster in the house? And all the times when he chose us instead of himself. Do you really think he’d want us to be unhappy? This is a big step for him. A big change. We’re becoming these… adults with new desires and it scares him. We’re growing up and maybe he… he feels helpless.”

Jaedyn lowers his gaze, gnawing at his lip.

“And why are you still thinking about Finn?” Jaevonn mutters. “I thought you ended things with him.”

“I don’t know, okay,” he says quietly. “I just… You’re right. I shouldn’t be mad at Dad for doing the right thing. He’s looked out for us all these years and we’re fine… Mostly fine. When you come to think about it, I wouldn’t be this miserable if I had listened to him. If I had not gone after a Lycan and fallen for him. Jaecen wouldn’t be in this state if he had paid heed to Dad’s advices.”

“We’re teenagers. We’re wired to go against everything that our parents say,” Jaevonn snickers.

“Not you, though,” Jaedyn grumbles. “You’re this perfect son all parents want.”

Before Jaevonn could respond to that, they scramble to their feet upon hearing the front door being slammed shut.

They race downstairs at once and come to a jerky halt when they see Jaecen. Sehun has his arms wrapped around his ashen, trembling son as he guides Jaecen towards the stairs.

“I’ll take him, Papa,” Jaedyn offers and drapes an arm over Jaecen’s shoulders to usher him up the stairs.

Jaevonn frowns when he studies Jaecen’s miserable complexion. His tired eyes are red and puffy. His cheeks have no colour. His lips are chapped and he carries his body like it’s a dead weight. Jaevonn lightly strokes Jaecen’s back as his brother plods past him.

Kai pins Sehun with a painstaking stare before wounding an arm around Sehun’s waist and pulling him close. His Dad’s hard, sturdy expression mellows and as if he were defeated, Kai drops his head on Sehun’s shoulder and tacitly begs for comfort.

Jaevonn wants to remove himself and give his parents some privacy. It isn’t something he is accustomed to witnessing. He had never seen his parents be this close and he has definitely never seen his Dad seeking such an intimate comfort from anyone before.

It is strange to see his parents in each other’s arms. And they don’t seem to mind their son gawking at them. Sehun slides his arms over Kai’s shoulders and lets out a heavy breath. “He’ll be okay,” Sehun whispers, running his fingers through Kai’s hair at the nape of his neck.

“I’m thankful that you’re here,” Kai mutters and draws back. Jaevonn starts to retreat upstairs. “Jaevonn.”

He stops and faces his father. “Yeah, Dad?”

Kai crosses his arms over his chest as a scowl takes form on his eyebrows. “Your brother refuses to tell me who did this to him no matter how many times I demand it out of him. You’re gonna find out who it was and inform me yourself, understand?”

Jaevonn gulps. “Dad, if he doesn’t want to—”

“I’m not going to sit back and stay quiet while some bastard believes that he can tyrannize my boy and get away with it. Jaecen was an underage when this pervert took him, so I’d like to look this arsehole in the eyes before I rip them out of their sockets.”

“Kai,” Sehun protests gently. “It won’t do us any good. Haven’t you learned enough from the past that vengeance all but leads us to our ruination?”

“It’s not about vengeance, Sehun,” he spits. “It’s about retributive justice. Does it not kill you to see our son in that state? The way he looked when it… was all over. He’s a child! He shouldn’t have to go through any of this!”

“I know,” Sehun says calmly, taking hold of Kai’s hand. “Trust me, I am foaming at my mouth. But I’d rather not stretch this out any further. Jaecen’s hurt. And we need to focus on having him healed.”

“You do that,” Kai hisses and pulls his hand free. “I’ll focus on having this gutless pervert answer to his unwarrantable actions. Fuck whoever that thinks they can get off scot-free by doing my sons wrong.”

“ _Our_ … sons,” Sehun corrects, frowning disappointedly.

Kai sighs. “Yes… I’m sorry.” He takes Sehun’s face in his hands and presses their lips together. Jaevonn coughs and Kai breaks the kiss to look up at his son. “Do you have something to say, Jaevonn?”

“Yes,” Jaevonn snorts. “Get a room, Dad.”

Kai rolls his eyes and kisses Sehun again, this time just to show off. Jaevonn makes a disgusted noise and runs upstairs.

* * *

 

A/N Check out **[Fatal Miscalculations](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10970916)**! The Taeyong spin-off!


	51. J A E D Y N

“Do you need anything?” Jaedyn asks when he enters Jaecen’s room again. Jaecen shakes his head against the pillow with his back facing Jaedyn. Jaedyn frowns. “You haven’t gotten out of bed in days, Jaecen.”

It hurts Jaedyn to see his brother like this. He might not be that close with Jaevonn, but in Jaecen he often confides and Jaecen is his partner-in-crime, his best friend, his everything. To see him in so much emotional, and possibly physical, pain is killing him, too.

“Jaecen,” he calls and takes a seat on the edge of his brother’s bed. Jaecen is unresponsive. God, he has never seen Jaecen like this. Not even when his hamster had died. What is he thinking? How could he compare a baby to a fucking hamster?! He shakes his head and presses a hand to Jaecen’s back.

Jaecen flinches, but he doesn’t turn.

“You can’t stay this way forever,” he says in the calmest voice possible.

“I won’t,” Jaecen mutters. “But I’m allowed to mourn, okay?”

“Mourn? Why would you…” he stops himself when he realizes what Jaecen means. He gulps and hangs his head. “If you wanted to keep the baby, you should have told Dad that. He wouldn’t have forced you to get rid of it.”

“He would have,” Jaecen whispers. “And I didn’t want to put him in that situation where he would have had to force me. I already disappointed him once. I’m mourning because of _my_ mistake, I became the reason for a life being killed.”

“Stop blaming yourself, will you?! You’ll never live it down if you keep thinking this way. People get abortions all the time. It’s not a big deal.”

Jaecen snivels then and pushes his face into the pillow as he breaks into a sob. “It’s a… big deal… to me.”

Jaedyn sighs and lies down beside Jaecen before throwing an arm around his quaking brother. “You… didn’t fall in love with that guy, did you?”

Jaecen keeps mum as he sniffs and wipes his tears on the pillowcase.

“Vonn says it’s probably a good thing that you didn’t decide to keep the baby,” he says, rubbing Jaecen’s arm. “You’ll have a better life now.”

“I know,” Jaecen lets out. “But it still makes me so… sad.”

“It’s okay.”

“Life is supposed to be about all these little firsts… I had all my important ones with a guy that probably doesn’t even remember me anymore.” There is resentment in his voice, but mostly just misery and regret. “And god… Did you see the look on Dad’s face when I told him? Do you see how he looks at me now?”

“He looks at you the same, Jaecen. He’s grieving for you, too. And god knows he’s done his fair share of mistakes.”

“He hasn’t yelled at me or… scolded me. He’s just…” he trails off for a moment. Then snivelling again, he says, “upset. Right when everything starts to be okay, I just had to screw things up.”

Jaedyn holds Jaecen close. “Things will get better, Jaecen. For you and for everyone. You’re a good person.”

“A good person that had unprotected sex with a random Lycan he met in the club, who has a girlfriend, and got knocked up by him.  And then had to kill the baby. Sure.”

“You’re being too harsh on yourself,” Jaedyn whispers and sits up when Jaevonn walks into the room with a glass of water.

“Papa says you have drink this,” Jaevonn says and places the glass on the bedside table. “And don’t feed it to the plant again.”

Jaecen doesn’t acknowledge the joke and keeps staring at the wall.

 

* * *

 

“Dyn,” Sehun calls when he sees him walking past the kitchen.

“Yeah, Papa?”

“What’s Jaecen doing?” his father asks, frowning as he pulls himself away from the kitchen island.

“Uh… I don’t know. Probably watching some sappy rom-com.”

Sehun sighs. “Have you tried asking him to go out? I tried talking to him, but he seems unresponsive to me.”

“He’s unresponsive to everyone right now,” he says and looks to his Dad who is plodding towards, talking on the phone.

“Yeah. Sure, Sara. Tell them to come by,” Kai mutters with half a smile and hangs up.

“Who’s coming by?” Sehun inquires, arching an eyebrow. Kai curls an arm around Sehun’s waist and kisses his cheek. Jaedyn has decided that he rather likes seeing his parents display their affection like this. It makes him feel like he’s in a normal family finally.

“You don’t know them,” Kai says and ruffles Jaedyn’s hair violently. “Didn’t I tell you to dye your hair back to brown? And get it cut, for Christ’s sake.”

Jaedyn groans and shoves his father’s hand off his head. “I like it long. It’s hot.”

Kai smirks and turns a lewd gaze towards Sehun. “That’s what he said.” Sehun blushes deeply and scowls at Kai.

“Ew, Dad,” Jaedyn grumbles and grabs an apple from the island. “Who’s coming, by the way? Auntie Sara?”

“No. You know about the Pride in Raisel?”

Jaedyn nods. He’s heard all about their hoity-toity arse.

“It’s the heir and his mother.” Jaedyn and Sehun arch their eyebrows and Kai laughs. “You both look so alike, it’s uncanny.”

“Why is that a surprise? He’s _my_ kid, after all,” Sehun says. “Why are they coming here?”

“Sara says they’re interested in an alliance. A marriage alliance.”

“Ew. Aren’t you like too old to marry someone that young?” Jaedyn mocks and Kai rolls his eyes before yanking Jaedyn close and holds him in a headlock. “Dad!”

“Still think I’m old?” Kai rasps, rubbing his knuckles into Jaedyn’s head as Jaedyn struggles to break free from his father’s grip.

When Kai finally releases him, Jaedyn gasps for air. “Control your man, Papa!”

Sehun scoffs and shakes his head. “But seriously, Kai. Marriage alliance with whom?” he asks Kai.

“I don’t know yet,” Kai says nonchalantly.

“You don’t know… yet?”

“It’s with one of these three rascals, obviously.”

Jaedyn sucks in a breath before yapping, “Aren’t we like too young to marry someone that old?!”

“They’re probably looking for support. And you guys are influential.”

“We are?” Jaedyn cocks an eyebrow. “How did _we_ not know that?”

“Hand me the rolling pin, Sehun,” Kai says and Jaedyn starts to retreat, ready to run away. “Anyway, I was thinking it’s not such a bad idea. They’d want to probably get betrothed or something soon.”

“How is that _not_ _such a bad idea_ ,” Sehun hisses.

“Yeah, Dad!” Jaedyn adds.

“Calm down, Walter Sobchak Senior and Junior,” Kai groans. “They would like the firstborn probably.”

Sehun’s eyes narrow. “So, you’re thinking of sliding our _damaged_ son over to the first person that wants him? Kai, you need to stop looking at him like that! He is not damaged!”

“I am not looking at him like that!” Kai spits. “But this can be good for him.”

“How?! He has an abortion one week and the next, he has to agree to marry some stranger?! He can fall in love with someone, he can heal.”

“And why can’t that _someone_ be this boy? At least then we’ll know he’s not off breeding with some Lycan!”

Jaedyn gnaws at his lip as his parents argue. And he knows his Dad will win in the end, anyway. Maybe it won’t be bad. Maybe this will turn out good for Jaecen. Meeting someone new.

“Sehun,” Kai says after a while and wraps his arms around Sehun’s body. “Trust me, okay?”

Sehun lowers his gaze and sighs. He doesn’t look like he’s going to support Kai’s idea one bit.

Then there is a knock on the front door. Jaedyn follows his Dad to find out who is knocking.

“Rauum,” Kai says when he opens the door. Jaedyn’s eyes widen when he spots Wil’s fathers over Kai’s shoulder.

“Sorry for bothering, Kai, but can we talk to Jaevonn for a minute?” one of them says and Kai lets them enter at once.

“Vonn!” he then caws. “What has happened?” he asks, turning to Wil’s parents again.

“We thought not to worry or disturb you,” the man says. “We even waited for a week. Wil left us a note saying that he’s leaving and not to look for him. We thought he’d come back if we cancelled his card. It’s been a week and we’re worried now that his ego will keep him from. The last time we spoke, he told us that he had met someone. Your nephew if I’m not wrong.”

Kai blinks. “My… nephew?”

“He went on this trip with your sons?” the other father says. “To their uncle’s place.”

“Yes.”

“Yeah. That’s where he met this boy called Nemo?”

Both Kai and Jaedyn’s mouth fall open. Sehun finally shows up, gaping in shock as well.

“Jaevonn is Wil’s closest friend. Wil wouldn’t have gone anywhere without telling Jaevonn. Jaevonn must have known Wil takes a liking in his cousin,” Wil’s father adds.

Kai clenches his jaw. “Jaevonn!” he shouts. “Get your butt down here right this instant!” Then turning to the concerned parents again, Kai says, “I’m so sorry, Tom. I didn’t know any of this. If I had, I would have called you.”

“It’s okay, Kai. We’re just hoping Jaevonn knows something or the next place to look would be your brother-in-law’s.”

Jaedyn notices Kai’s jaw tightening. God, his Dad is really mad now. Jaedyn slinks away to stand by Sehun.

“What is it?” Jaevonn gasps as he hurries down the stairs. “Mr Raumm,” he says, looking to the men.

“Jaevonn, son,” one of them rasps. “Do you know where Wil is?”

Jaevonn blinks confusedly. “What?”

Kai grabs Jaevonn’s arm and Jaevonn winces. “Do you know where their son is?!” he demands and Jaevonn quickly shakes his head in horror.

“I don’t, Dad. It’s been so many days since I last talked to him.”

Kai releases his arm. “He’s missing. And they’re suspecting he might be at Adrian’s place. Now, why is that?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jaevonn swallows and hangs his head. “I… don’t know.”

“Do you really not know or are you trying to protect the boy?”

“Dad, I really don’t know,” Jaevonn whimpers. “But… he might be there. I wouldn’t know.”

“You’re gonna go and get him with them, do you understand?” Kai orders. “Since when did you kids become so brash and audacious, huh?”

Jaevonn hesitates for a moment but then nods obediently.

“Is the place far?” Wil’s father asks.

“Five hours by car,” Jaedyn speaks up. “I can go with Vonn.”

“We’ll leave tomorrow morning, then,” the man says. “Thank you, Kai.”

* * *

A/N If you wanna read what happens during the lunch with Kai's potential in-laws, you can read  **[THIS](http://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/c5f03d_ba49fc0641ad48ed89c4d80674ee18c9.pdf)**

 


	52. S E H U N   PART ONE

Sehun can’t help but frown at the pregnancy test kit. It’s the seventh one that has shown ‘positive’. While a part of him wants to rejoice, the other worries that this might be a horrible timing. Especially now that his entire attention should be on his other sons, not this new one.

He swallows and idly stares at his reflection in the mirror. Kai will be happy when he hears about this. He hasn’t been deliberately sloppy and careless during their intimate moments for nothing.

But there is just so much in Sehun’s mind right now and the last thing he wants to do is have a happy conversation with Kai and he is in no mood to see Kai grin like an idiot either, especially after what he has just done, humiliating Jaecen in front the Jungs like that.

It is noble of Jaehyun to stand up for Jaecen, even though they are practically strangers. Maybe he would make a good partner for Jaecen. But it is Jaecen’s choice to make. Kai can’t keep trying to control everyone’s life just because he has the power to.

And Sehun is ready to give him a piece of his mind tonight. It might spark a whole new argument but he doesn’t care. If he is going to have another baby with Kai, he needs to know that he has a say in this family and Kai is no longer the only parent. Sehun’s responsibility is not to only be the emotional support.

On another note, he slides a hand under his shirt and caresses his belly, smiling to himself. He wonders if it’s going to be a girl or a boy. Vonn, Jaecen and Dyn would certainly throw a fit when they find out they’re going to be big brothers.

He disposes the pregnancy test kits when he hears the bedroom door open. He quickly steps out of the bathroom and glares at Kai who collapses on the bed with a loud sigh.

“Jesus,” he mumbles against the pillow. “Talk about drama fit for a Spanish soap opera.”

Sehun licks his lips and walks over to the bedside. “When will you stop resenting Jaecen for what he did?”

Kai lifts his head and frowns at Sehun, who crosses his arms over his chest. “I do not resent him.”

“Yes, you do. And you’re acting like a child.”

Kai props himself up on his elbows and arches his eyebrows. “Jeez. Why have you been so moody lately? I mean, weren’t you completely fine with me tupping your arse every second of the day and reaming it every second of the night? We had a good thing going on, Sehun. Why are you throwing a wet cloth on it?” he groans and extends an arm to take hold of Sehun’s hand. Sehun slaps it away. “Meanie.”

“Kai, be serious. I’m not here just for you to tup and ream my arse…. Or am I? Do I have absolutely no say in our kids’ lives… because I’m the guy who left you?”

Kai sighs and drags himself out of the bed. “I’m disappointed, Sehun,” he says in a low voice, taking hold of Sehun’s face in his hands. “All this while, I thought I’ve been a good father and my eldest goes off getting knocked up by a Lycan who’s in a relationship. Imagine what could have happened to him. Imagine if he had gotten seriously hurt.”

“Are you upset that he did that or are you just upset that he was with a Lycan?”

Kai lowers his hands from Sehun’s face. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” he asks with a clenched jaw.

“Just say it, damn it. Say that you don’t want your sons to be with Lycans. Even though, they’re part Lycan,” he spits, fisting his hands at his sides.

“Where did you even get that ridiculous idea from?”

“You’d rather have him married off to some wealthy Pantherinae family that is only probably viewing him as an asset than to let him choose his own path. The older you get, the more you start sound like your grandfather,” Sehun says and turns to the window, swallowing the lump in his throat and breathing heavily.

Kai remains silent for a length.

“Are you… ashamed of me?” Sehun asks in a whisper. “Of my kind? If… If you didn’t love me, you’d probably still loathe Lycans, won’t you? Including me.”

“Give me one good reason to like them,” Kai says. “What have they done that’s boded well for me? I lost my brother to one of them, didn’t I? And now, my son got hurt. I’m glad that we’re not on hostile terms anymore, but the truth is… we’re just… natural enemies.”

Sehun hangs his head. “And yet, you had three children with your natural enemy,” he mutters.

“Fuck sake,” Kai hisses and curls his arms around Sehun’s waist from behind. Sehun tenses up as Kai locks his hands on his stomach, foolishly worrying that Kai might be able to feel the life growing in there. “I love you,” he breathes against Sehun’s ear and kisses his temple. “Remember when we were younger and everything just… seemed so innocent and pure between us? Our first kisses, our first confessions… The way you used to blush whenever I teased you. I know we can’t get them back or those years. But I love you and I want to fall in love with you all over again.” He moves his lips to brush them against Sehun’s neck. “How could you even think that, Sehun? How could I see you as an enemy? From the moment I fell for you until now, I’ve only wanted you. I wanted you in my life. To _be_ my life. If I could, I’d do it all over again. Maybe this time, I won’t hurt you.”

“Then I need to know that I can be a part of your life, Kai,” Sehun exhales shakily.

“You are already a part of _me_.”

Sehun turns around and lets Kai hold his face before pressing their lips together. The heat in their kisses never dies and it stumps Sehun to think how much power Kai really has over him.

“I want the best for Jaecen,” Kai says, pulling back. “And I want you to have a say in everything. But do you really think this marriage would be a bad thing? Jaecen will remain in our community. We will always be able to watch over him. And if that boy hurts him, I’d be readily available to rip his skin from his flesh.”

Sehun lets out a soft chuckle and leans his head on Kai’s shoulder. “Only if Jaecen wants it, Kai. Don’t be that guy that forces his children down the paths they don’t desire.”

“I was forced down a path I didn’t initially desire. But it got you in my arms right now,” Kai says and Sehun pulls back to stare into his eyes.

“Do you even know how cheesy you’re sounding right now?” Sehun sniggers through the tears.

Kai groans and firmly grips Sehun’s face with both hands before kissing him on the lips. “Let me be romantic for once.”

“I thought we were going to get married first, though,” Sehun sighs.

Kai’s eyes widen. “Do you want to?” he asks, flashing a toothy grin.

“Huh?”

“Let’s go to an island and marry on a beach. With close relatives? A big, fancy beach wedding?”

“Is that your fantasy?”

“No,” he draws Sehun closer. “You’re my fantasy… And the wedding night, of course. We’ve never had one, have we?”

Sehun grumbles as Kai’s hands that are sliding down his arse at the back. “All right. I’ll marry you on a beach.”

“I just wanna see a hibiscus behind your ear,” Kai laughs. Sehun whimpers when Kai grips a side of his waist. “God, why are you squirming a lot these days? Is it just me or have you become ten times softer? Not that I’m complaining.”

“You need to stop talking,” Sehun orders and grabs Kai’s shirt, yanking him forward to kiss him.

Sehun decides that he’ll surprise Kai with the news of the pregnancy as a wedding present on their wedding night.


	53. F I N N

Finn stares at the crevices on the ceiling and sighs before taking a sip of the hot water. He ought to fix the roof soon, he makes a note to himself. Not today, but someday. He looks at the time and puts the tankard down. He should at least try to get to work on time today.

The labouring work at the logging factory in the nearby town does not pay much, but it pays enough to feed one. It isn’t as much as Adrian earns, working multiple shifts at three different factories, though. But unlike Adrian, Finn only has himself to support.

It was difficult in the beginning, settling down in a new place, leaving Itcara, leaving his brothers and parents behind, but it has been an adventure. Fortunately enough for him, he was able to move into this small cottage that once belonged to an old pair of hunters. Of course, he had to remodel most of it, but with Adrian’s help, he could call this place home now.

Wherever Adrian is, that’s home, too.

The sun scorches everything it sees, embedded to the bright blue sky. Finn is so used to have his bare skin exposed to the burning sensation that he does not remember how his pale skin against the snow used to look like. Now, he is just entirely tan as though he has been working under the sun all his life.

He picks up the wooden wolf figurine he has been carving for Nemo since last week from the workbench and rubs the sawdust off. He wants to make sure all the details are right. Nemo can be pretty painstaking when it comes to his touch. He’d feel every carved edge of the wolf and memorize it. Finn grins. It isn’t Nemo’s birthday or anything, but the boy deserves everything good and Finn likes giving him such little, but meaningful gifts all the time.

Adrian thinks Finn’s affection towards Nemo should be appreciated and thanked for. He doesn’t believe the rest of the pack would accept Nemo as wholly and sincerely as Finn has. Finn believes otherwise, however. He knows that if Adrian returned, the pack would accept him. And his son, too. Adrian is welcomed back since Julien had long extended an invitation for him to return home. But this is Adrian’s home now and it is safe for Nemo.

And Finn knows Adrian plans to spend the rest of his days here, in the woods, close to Nemo. And every day, his concern for Nemo and what happens to him when he is no longer around grows. Finn can’t do anything about that to help Adrian except that make promises each time that he’d be there to take care of Nemo should, god forbid, anything happen to Adrian.

He understands why Adrian doesn’t feel comforted by his promises. Finn isn’t Nemo’s parent and he never will be. That spot can never be refilled, Adrian has made sure of that. Nobody, absolutely nobody has a place in Adrian’s heart besides Jongin, even after almost two decades of his death. It is a grief Adrian never plans to move on from and Finn has accepted that. He’d be happy to just stay by Adrian’s side as a friend and brother and always be there for him and his son.

Perhaps one day, he’d even find someone to love as much as Adrian loves Jongin still.

He grits his teeth when the image of a certain artificial red-haired, scraggy, troublesome, plaguy boy flashes in his head at the thought of love. He has heard the word ‘love’ coming out of that pesky boy’s mouth more times than he’s ever imagined of hearing it in a lifetime.

Who can seriously be _that_ expressive about their affection, Finn grunts.

_Hey, Finn. I love you._

_I will always love you._

_I love you and you’re being mean._

_I love you and I may not look like it, but my fantasies of love confessions did not include being told to leave when I said that I love you! You slammed the door at my face, you keep ignoring me, you said all that shit about me and asked me to sleep with you when I told you that I love you!_

Finn dismisses the thoughts. The boy is a pest and the worst kind of all because Finn kind of likes it. Unacceptable.

With time, the pest will stop thinking about Finn—that is if his feelings and so-called “love” is sincere in the first place. He’s just an annoying teenager after all.

Then why can’t Finn seem to stop thinking about it since the day the pest had left? Why does he go to sleep every night wondering if someone in this world really did love him so? Why does it hurt every time he had to reject the boy?

It’s for the better, he convinces himself all the time. But a small part of him wonders what’s the worst that could happen if he brought his walls down and let himself be loved. Even by the most irritating, outspoken, honest, beautiful boy…

This is his daily morning routine. He’d bathe, eat, drink something hot, brood over things, worry himself about the red-haired pest, and then he’d go to work.

He still remembers the first time he had met Jaedyn. It was fires and sparks instantly and it robbed him his breath for a moment. He realized he had imprinted on a kid. And ever since, he kept his distance. But Jaedyn did not make things easier. It almost felt like destiny. But then Finn had realized the boy was better off with someone else who isn’t old, craggy, poor, and pretty worthless. God, he could see how different their worlds are just by comparing their hands.

Jaedyn’s, smooth, tender, dainty. Speaks volumes. He’s been cared for like a prince since he was born. Probably never seen a day of physical hard work.

Then there’s Finn’s. Calloused, blistered, big, rough. There hasn’t been a day without physical hard work.

Taking someone like Jaedyn—young, confident, beautiful, still with a full life ahead—for a mate would not let Finn live on without regret. And people would talk. He doesn’t want to put Jaedyn in such a situation.

And above all, the boy is Kai’s son. Finn wants nothing to do with him.

But he thinks about Jaedyn nonetheless. A lot. Often. Regularly. In unhealthy amounts.

He pulls a shirt on and steps out of the cottage, but freezes for a moment when he hears a car pulling up Adrian’s house. His heart leaps in excitement. It feels childish for a grown-ass man and he feels a little embarrassed when he realizes that he is hoping it is Jaedyn. Up until that night, Jaedyn did not stop harassing him no matter how many times Finn had refused him and after the last time they had talked, Finn had hoped Jaedyn wouldn’t stop. But he had.

He walks over to Adrian’s house. Looks like he is going to be late to work today after all.

Two familiar faces and two strangers exit the fancy-looking car, and Finn arches a golden brow at them. Adrian shows up at once and blinks at his nephews confusedly.

“Jaedyn. Vonn,” Adrian says before turning to meet the other men.

“Uncle Adrian,” Vonn says. “These are Wil’s parents.”

Adrian’s eyes widen and he remains mum for a minute. Finn scans the two well-dressed men before his gaze shifts to the flaming redhead.

Jaedyn is glaring straight at him.

Finn glances away. It’s ridiculous, he tells himself. To feel this intimidated by someone that tiny.

He may be tiny, but he is comically loud and spicy. Like a mustard seed.

“Welcome. I’m… Adrian. Come on in.” Adrian says.

“We’re not here for your cordiality. Where’s our son?” one of the two men demands, crossing his arms over his chest.

Adrian and Finn exchange a glance. “Uh, why are you asking him?” Finn asks. “He’s not here.”

The two fathers look devastated then. “He ran away from home because of your son!” the other yaps at Adrian, who flinches and then frowns.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“He was harping on about being smitten by your son and we refused to give him our blessings. How could you have allowed it? You know the burden our son would bear if he chose to be with your disabled son. And yet, you stood by and watched?!”

“Tom,” his partner says and drapes an arm over his shoulders.

Adrian closes his eyes and draws a breath. “It wasn’t my place to tell him to how to feel as it is not yours,” he says and it only angers Wil’s parents. “If you want to shout in front of my house like barbarians, be my guest, but I will not entertain this one bit. Your son isn’t here. But if you want to come inside and talk to me like civil people, I will respond to your questions with similar kindness. Otherwise, get lost.”

The two men scowl at Adrian, but they nod their heads and quietly follow Adrian into the house.

“You coming?” Jaevonn asks his brother with an ashen face.

Jaedyn shakes his head. Jaevonn then glances at Finn. “You go on. I didn’t come along because I care immensely for your boyfriend-that-got-away,” Jaedyn mutters and Jaevonn scowls at him.

“Seriously?” Jaevonn snorts, but he leaves his brother and Finn alone.

Finn rubs the back of his bull neck and turns on his heel to walk away. He half expects Jaedyn to pounce on his back.

“Can we talk?” Jaedyn asks instead.

“No,” Finn refuses as always and proceeds to stride away. He halts dead in his tracks when Jaedyn fists his shirt at the back and tugs at it. He turns around and faces Jaedyn with a frown. “What do you want?”

“You,” Jaedyn spits through his teeth. His eyes are narrowed, his brows are pulled down. He looks serious. He _is_ serious.

“Sorry. I’m out of stock,” Finn mumbles and tries to pull away, but Jaedyn grabs his shirt collar and clings onto it, glowering up at Finn.

“I tried,” Jaedyn whispers. “Tried to forget about you. I don’t think… I ever could.”

Finn lowers his gaze. “Try harder.” He tears Jaedyn’s hand off his shirt and walks away.

He isn’t playing hard to get, no. He truly thinks it would be best if Jaedyn stopped pestering him. But he doesn’t _want_ that. There is only one person in this entire world who wants him like this. It makes him feel less lonely.

He is halfway across the woods when he huffs and spins around to glare at Jaedyn who has been persistently following him. “I thought we were over this,” Finn snarls.

Jaedyn hangs his head for a moment. Then looking up, he parts his lips to say something. He doesn’t. His eyes are glistening with tears.

“Do you have the slightest idea of how I feel knowing that you don’t believe me when I say that I love you?” Jaedyn says at length in a low voice. It hurts Finn. It hurts every time he says something like that because a huge part of Finn knows that he is genuine. “Do you really think I’m that dishonest that I’d make fun of something like this?”

“Haven’t we already been through this?” Finn growls. “I clearly told you why we can’t be together. Why can you never seem to get it through your thick skull?”

“I’m pathetic! Okay?! I know! I’m a mega loser. For pining for a guy that hates me, doesn’t want me, keeps insulting me, pushing me away. But why can’t you see that I keep coming back no matter how much of a pathetic looser I may seem because I truly do love you?”

A tear betrays Jaedyn’s eye and rolls down his pink cheek.

“And the worst part is that you don’t even want to give me a chance,” Jaedyn continues. “I know that I can’t force you to like me but it wouldn’t kill you to treat me like I’m a person! You don’t have to be so mean and harsh! I can’t forget you and I’d rather not! It hurts.” He drops his head, breaking into a sob. “It hurts… knowing that I can never be with the guy I love because he doesn’t believe I’m real and he doesn’t like me.”

This Jaedyn, Finn has never seen. He is vulnerable, sad, defeated, and he looks like a boy, so young to have his heart broken.

Finn crosses the distance between them and Jaedyn shudders when Finn cups his face in his huge, ridiculously rough hands. Finn raises Jaedyn’s head and wipes the tears off his cheeks as Jaedyn stares at him with bulged, shocked eyes.

Then pushing Jaedyn up against a tree, Finn presses his thumb to the boy’s chin as Jaedyn looks up. Finn towers a couple of feet above him, arching over his small body. Jaedyn’s arms are frozen at his sides as Finn studies the boy’s long eyelashes that are clumped together by the tears.

Jaedyn’s concentration is now on Finn’s lips. His hands slowly rise to Finn’s stomach and he presses them on the solid muscles there. He swallows and his Adam’s apple bobs. He blinks his teary eyes and parts his lips trembling his lips as Finn leans closer.

Finn firmly holds a side of Jaedyn’s face as their lips meet in a chaste, unrushed, unmoving kiss. Jaedyn’s breath hitches and he clenches Finn’s shirt by the abdomen in his fists. Finn slides his hand to grip Jaedyn’s hair at the back of his head as Jaedyn pushes himself up on the tip of his toes to press harder against Finn’s lips.

When they come apart, Jaedyn rasps for air for a minute before he looks up at Finn. He immediately breaks into a loud cry and Finn takes a step back, blinking at the boy in horror.

“What the… Why are you crying now?” Finn gasps.

“You’re going to say something mean now, aren’t you?!” Jaedyn hisses and wipes his cheeks on the back of his hands.

Finn shakes his head, letting out a soft chuckle. He cups Jaedyn’s cheek and kisses him again. This time, he gently sucks Jaedyn’s bottom lip and kisses it again and again until Jaedyn is panting. Finn thinks the heat and softness of Jaedyn’s lips might just drive him to the verge of insanity. It has been too long since he had any form of intimacy with another person. But this isn’t longing for intimacy. What he feels is the longing to feel this particular boy tremble and whimper against him.

Jaedyn is gawking at him, wide-eyed, when Finn breaks the kiss. “This isn’t… a dream, is it?” Jaedyn lets out shakily, his red, puffy eyes blinking. “I mean, not that I’m complaining, but—”

Finn cuts him off by kissing him once more. This time, a little harder. Jaedyn moans into his mouth when Finn’s stubble grazes his cheeks and Finn lowers a hand to grip his hip. They break apart, both fighting for breath.

“Jesus. I finally found a way to shut you up,” Finn scoffs and Jaedyn looks far too jaded to scowl or come back with a witty reply.


	54. S E H U N P A R T O N E A N D A H A L F

A/N This short entr'acte follows Final Miscalculations' **[Chapter Seventeen](http://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/c5f03d_799e51fe08a7482f8e6ec0264f8dd09d.pdf)** after Kai almost cheats on Sehun with Taeyong. 

* * *

Sehun lets out a sigh, staring at the unappetizing cold pizza on the bedside table. He should eat something, but he could find the stomach for it. Especially after that unnecessary fight he had with Kai earlier this evening.

He hates himself for it. He isn’t even sure where the argument had actually started. But it definitely had something to do with the fact that Kai had implied that only he knows what’s best for their kids and Sehun’s presence there is not really significant. Kai can be really ignorant sometimes.

His words were, “See. I know what’s best for my son.”

Sehun is glad that Jaecen seems to be accepting his engagement to Jaehyun well. There isn’t anything to not to like about Jaehyun. He’d make a wonderful husband for Jaecen. And these days, Jaecen actually looks happier. He’s even started to visit Jaehyun in Raisel every now and then to get to know him so that their wedding won’t be a completely awkward event. Tonight, he is there too. In Raisel. With Jaehyun. For dinner with Jaehyun’s family and Jaehyun’s cousin, who had failed to make it to their engagement party.

A part of Sehun actually believes that he is still against marrying Jaecen off to some stranger albeit an influential stranger is a bad idea. It might be instincts or a gut feeling, but he doesn’t like it. Or maybe he is just upset that he has to give a son away so soon when he has just started to take an active part in Jaecen’s life. Why can’t Kai understand that?

Still, Sehun shouldn’t have shouted at him and called him “an insensitive jerk”. His mood swings are hell, even for himself to deal with. But with the morning sickness and constant headaches, almost everything annoys him. Maybe he should just tell Kai about the pregnancy without waiting for their wedding.

Well, maybe he can wait a little longer. They are getting married next week after all.

The thought makes him smile. He rubs his belly. He has a feeling it’s going to be a girl this time. Just a feeling.

The bedroom door swings open and Kai almost spills into the room. Sehun jolts upright and gawks at his husband from the bed. “Kai?” he calls and Kai groans, slamming the door shut.

“Don’t worry,” Kai says drowsily. “I’m not that drunk. Save your lecture, professor.”

Sehun huffs and scowls as Kai takes his shirt and pants off before dragging himself to the bed in his boxers. He collapses on his side of the bed and throws an arm over his forehead. God, he smells horrible.

Sehun licks his lips and curls beside Kai, tucking himself into Kai’s arm. Kai pulls his arm off his forehead and stares at Sehun who places his head on Kai’s bare chest. Sighing, Kai drapes the arm over Sehun’s body and holds him close.

“I’m sorry,” he drawls lazily, stroking Sehun’s back.

“Me too,” Sehun mutters and kisses the cleft of Kai’s chest. Kai snorts when Sehun drags his kiss to Kai’s collarbone.

“Don’t take advantage of a poor man in his most vulnerable state, you monster,” Kai mumbles. His eyes are already closed and Sehun knows he’s about to fall asleep.

“Are you sleepy?” he asks.

Kai hums in response.

“Then I’ll just have to help myself,” Sehun says and slides a hand down Kai’s abs to palm his crotch. Kai’s eyes fling open at once.

“Fuck me and sell my soul to the devil if I ever chose sleep over this.” He plops Sehun onto the bed and grips the corner of Sehun’s waist that makes him giggle. He yanks Sehun’s nightshirt off and sits up for a moment, licking and biting his lip, eyes raking Sehun’s body.


	55. S E H U N P A R T T W O

Not everybody is fortunate enough to get a second chance at their happily-ever-after. Sehun is.

This moment, he is with his family, he is happy, he has a reason to look forward to the rest of whatever life has to offer. There is no point in dwelling in the past or regretting his mistakes, the missed opportunities. He owns this moment and he is grateful for it. He is grateful that his sons have accepted him. He is grateful that his family is here for him, even though he had once abandoned it. He is grateful that Kai has forgiven him, that his children have forgiven him.

This will be a new beginning, a new chapter of his life. And no matter how rocky the path may be, Sehun knows Kai will be there to accompany him and Sehun doesn’t plan on ever leaving him again.

No amount of brooding and crying will bring them those years back. But they can now anticipate those to come. Everything is going to be all right hereafter. The storm has calmed. It is now time for the sun to shine in his life. He’ll be married this time next week. He and Kai will be expecting their new baby. Jaecen will soon be married. He will be happy, too. Jaevonn will get into one of the most prestigious universities. Things will work out for him, too. And Jaedyn, well, he will find something to do with his life as well. With the kids settled, Sehun and Kai could divert their attention to their new married life.

All will be well.

When he walks past Jaedyn’s room, Sehun hears his son giggling and humming on the phone. Sehun smiles and peeps into the room, giving the door a subtle knock. Jaedyn jumps with a start and gapes at Sehun.

“Papa?” he says, quickly pulling his phone away from his ear. He blinks and Sehun arches an eyebrow.

“Are you done packing?” Sehun asks.

Jaedyn nervously nods. “Yeah.” He points to the luggage at the side of the bed.

“Is Jaecen home yet?”

“No.”

Sehun sighs. “Who were you talking to?”

Jaedyn’s cheeks grow red at once. He hides his phone behind him and clears his throat. “Just a friend from school.”

Smirking, Sehun scoffs and shuts the door. “A friend,” he mutters to himself, heading downstairs. He needs peanut butter. He didn’t use to be a big fan of peanut butter, but whoever that is growing inside his belly must absolutely love peanut, he reckons.

Sehun makes a mental note to ask Kai to stock the pantry up with everything peanut when they return. He scoops a spoon of peanut butter and licks it, checking the time on the wall clock. It is almost ten past four. Kai still isn’t home. He said he was visiting Julien when he called in the morning. Was he inviting Julien to their wedding? It is unlikely. They had agreed it will be a closed wedding with only their family. But Kai had extended the invitation to Jaehyun’s family, but they had politely refused to join. Which is for the best, anyway. This is sort of like his first vacation with his family, Sehun wants to make the most of it, even if it is just for a week.

Kai had suggested that they go on their honeymoon after Jaecen’s wedding and Sehun had agreed, of course. There will be so much to do when they return.

The front door opens and Sehun ambles out of the kitchen. Jaecen walks in with a sheepish grin etched on his face.

“Jaecen,” Sehun calls and Jaecen’s grin vanishes at once.

“Oh. Hey, Papa,” Jaecen mutters, tossing the car keys on the sideboard. “Is that peanut butter?”

Sehun pulls the spoon away from his mouth. “How’s Jaehyun?”

Jaecen hesitates to answer. “He’s fine… I think.”

“What do you mean, you think?”

Shrugging, Jaecen starts towards the stairs. “I didn’t hang out with him today.”

“Oh… Then?”

“Didn’t I tell you his hysterical cousin’s family is there?” Jaecen laughs and Sehun stares at him for a moment. He hasn’t heard Jaecen laugh like that in ages. He looks incredibly lifted.

“Yes, you did.”

“And his cousin’s brother-in-law? Rei!” the boy chuckles, blushing deeply. “He’s the messiest, funniest person you will ever meet! We played the piano together, he’s like a piano virtuoso, I swear. Oh, oh! The music stopped. The woman dies. Why?”

“What?”

“It’s a riddle, Papa. Answer it!”

“I… I don’t know.”

“At a circus, this woman is a blindfolded and she’s walking on a tightrope and, uh, the music ended earlier than it’s supposed to and she knew that she reached the end. She lost balance and she fell to her death.”

Sehun grimaces at his son. “What?” he says, blinking blankly.

“I know!” Jaecen laughs. “It’s so stupid. But the way he said it, it was funny. I’m not doing it much justice.”

Sehun doesn’t know how that joke could be funny in any way, but he smiles at his son. The doorbell rings and Sehun turns to get it. “What did you say his name was?” he asks Jaecen who is already running up the stairs.

“Rei.”

Sehun promises himself to thank the boy when they meet. For making Jaecen laugh like that.

He opens the door, half expecting for it to be Kai, but his jaw falls slack and his eyes bulge out when he is met with the familiar fair head. The golden hair catches his attention foremost. And then the cool blue eyes, then the sharp jawline that compliments the stunning smile.

“Whoa,” the fair-haired man lets out calmly, smirking. “Is this Adrian’s baby brother?” The exact words he had said on their very first meeting, Sehun remembers.

“Sky!” he gasps and pounces on the taller, bigger man. Sky looks different, quite different. He wears his hair slightly longer now and sports a fine beard. He is also huge, built with solid muscles. And God, he smells like home.

Sky exhales a deep chuckle, clasping his large hand on Sehun’s back. “Long time no see.”

Sehun draws back and beams from ear to ear. “Oh, my god. I can’t believe you’re actually here. Like… in the flesh!”

Sky bites his smiling lip and drops his gaze for a moment. “I was hoping you’d visit sometime soon… Then you didn’t. For years.”

A pang of guilt strikes Sehun’s chest then. “I’m sorry. I should have but… I really don’t have a good excuse.”

Sky laughs. “It’s okay.”

“Come inside.” Sehun tugs at Sky’s thick, heavy arm.

“No. I gotta go,” Sky refuses politely. He hands Sehun the wrapped box he is holding in his free hand. “Heard you’re getting married again.” There is almost no sincerity in the smile he smiles at that particular moment.

Sehun licks his lips, flushed. “Yeah.” He pauses. “How’s Thea? And Kris?”

Sky looks embarrassed. “They’re fine… I’m still… very sorry about what Dan had done.”

“It’s all right. It wasn’t your fault.”

Sky smiles again. “Things worked out in the end, huh?”

“I guess,” Sehun mutters, his heartbeat quickening a little. Sky is staring straight into his eyes.

“I’m glad,” he then sighs and starts to retreat. “Hey. Don’t be a stranger, okay? We’ll always be your pack.”

“Sky, wait,” Sehun calls. “How… How are _you_?”

He shrugs. “Fine.”

“Married?”

Sky scoffs. “Imprinted on someone I couldn’t be with. I didn’t want to lead a fake life, so… But _livin la vida loca_.” He winks and Sehun snickers. “I’m good, though. Really.”

“Okay,” Sehun says. “Sorry, I couldn’t invite anyone to the wedding. It’s really just Kai, the kids and I.”

“Are you kidding? News is that you’re getting married in the lands of mermaids where I can’t afford to go,” Sky snorts. “I’m a simple man.”

“I figured,” Sehun scoffs. “I’m a pretty simple man, too.”

“But you live the life of a king now, don’t you?” There isn’t any mockery in the way he says it. But maybe just a little resentment. “I mean, you always have… With Kai.” He smiles.

Sehun hangs his head. “You haven’t met my… sons, have you?”

“Perhaps another time.” Sky’s voice is suddenly hard. Sehun lifts his head to see Kai’s car approaching the driveway.

“Sky,” Sehun calls. “Thanks… For coming.”

With a smile, Sky retreats. He salutes with two of his fingers and stops when Kai pulls the car over. Kai exits the car, looking disinterested and exhausted. Even from here, Sehun could smell Julien’s scent on his borrowed clothes. What happened to his own, Sehun wonders, and why does he look like the world has doomed?

“Kai,” Sky says, bowing playfully.

“Who are you again?” Kai asks, scowling faintly.

“Kai, surely you remember Sky,” Sehun says, walking over to his side. Kai arches an eyebrow at him.

“Who?” he spits.

Sky scoffs. “I’ll just see my way out,” he says. “Happy Married Life.”

“A friend?” Kai asks once Sky is out of earshot.

Sehun frowns at him. “What happened to you? Why do you smell so… bad?”

Kai fakes a scowl at him and grapples an arm around Sehun’s waist, deliberately yanking him close. “How bad is it?”

“Very bad!” Sehun grunts and shoves Kai’s face away. He reeks of sweat, a mix of Lycan and Pantherinae scents, the snow that has now melted, and… blood. “Kai,” he gasps.

“Come on,” Kai says and ushers him into the manor. “We need to talk.”

“About what? What happened?” Sehun asks impatiently, settling Sky’s gift on the sideboard as they wend their way up to their room.

Once they are safe in the privacy of their bedroom, Kai takes his shirt off and puts the closed, but fresh wound on the front of his shoulder on display.

“Oh, my god!” Sehun grates and raises a hand to the wound, but doesn’t touch it. “How—”

“Jaecen can’t get married to Jaehyun, Sehun.”

Sehun drops his hand to his side and blinks at Kai. “What? What are you talking about?”

“He did this,” Kai says. “Jaehyun, a fucking Smilodon, did this. He was going to kill me. And he might have even succeeded if Julien and some of the Lycans hadn’t been on their morning run.”

It takes Sehun a moment to realize that Kai is not joking. “The wolves helped you?”

“Yeah.”

They settle in their bed and Kai tiredly leans against the headboard, raising a knee to rest his arm on. Sehun lets him gather his thoughts for a minute before he slides closer and climbs on top of Kai’s lap. Kai pulls him close with an arm around Sehun’s back and buries his face in the crook of Sehun’s neck.

“Are you… okay?” Sehun asks in a low whisper, stroking Kai’s hair.

“No,” Kai lets out. “I… I don’t know what to do.”

“What has happened, Kai?”

“It’s Taeyong. I went to… meet him this morning. He wanted to talk to me.”

“Oh.” Sehun isn’t going to ask why Kai didn’t tell him that this morning.

“He and Jaehyun are… together.”

“What?” Sehun rasps in surprise. “You… mean…”

“And Taeyong is now pregnant with Jaehyun’s child. He swore he didn’t know Jaehyun was engaged to Jaecen when they were together. Jaehyun is being forced into this marriage by his mother. And Jaecen’s a pawn. Jaehyun and his family are planning to keep Taeyong and the baby a secret.”

“Shit,” Sehun exhales and shakes his head. “That’s messed up.”

“Go ahead. Tell me that you told me so. You were right. It was a bad idea.”

Sehun brushes his lips on Kai’s temple. “We have to handle this carefully. We must tell Jaecen first.”

“You’re not mad at Taeyong?” Kai asks.

“Why would I be? It wasn’t his fault. And he came forth to inform us. We could still cancel the wedding. We haven’t even sent out the invitations. You… do want to cancel the wedding, right?”

“Of course. Why on earth would I let our son go for a swim in a shark-infested sea? But… he’d be crushed…”

Sehun leans his forehead against Kai’s. “I’m actually a little happy that he’s not marrying into that family. Something tells me he won’t be happy there.”

Kai pauses to stare at Sehun with an unreadable expression. “What is this nightmare you talked about on the phone?” he asks.

“Oh.” He’d rather not thinking about the gory nightmare he had last night. “It’s nothing… But you called me a superstitious wife from the olden days, but look. I told you to be careful, didn’t I?”

“You always know what’s right.”

“No. I just have better instincts than you.”

Kai gnaws at his lip, casting his eyes low. “There’s… something else that you need to know.”

“What is it?”

Kai swallows and looks up at Sehun. He holds Sehun’s gaze for a moment and says nothing. Then cupping Sehun’s cheek, he whispers, “I can’t wait to marry you.”

Sehun smiles against Kai’s lips. “The boys are excited. Let’s not ruin the mood. We’ll deal with everything when we come back. We’ll sit down and talk to Jaecen. He’d understand. He wouldn’t want to be with someone like that either.”

Kai nods in agreement. He licks his lips. “I kissed Taeyong.”

Sehun blinks at the abrupt confession. He breathes. Because at that moment, it is all that he could do. Then slowly, he echoes, “You kissed… Taeyong.”

Kai drops his head in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. But… I’m actually not sorry. And that makes me feel even guiltier. I… wanted to kiss him. I missed him. I don’t regret breaking up with him, but I regret the way I had done it. There is no excuse, really. I missed him… But it’s over now. He really… doesn’t want me anymore.”

Sehun swallows and keeps his eyes low. His heart slams against his chest, his stomach clenches. But he tries to focus on his breaths. “Do you love him?”

“Does it matter if I do? Would it be so bad and wrong for me to love him?”

“No. You had been with him longer than you had been with me. Life was easier for you when you were with him. I am not surprised that you love him because any sane man would. I was more surprised that you had continued to pretend like he meant nothing to you. But you said you didn’t love him. Did you really not realize that you did or were you just trying to fool yourself?”

“I thought I didn’t… I…” He pauses and palms his face. “I love you. And I realize that I love him, too. But I had chosen you.”

“Because I had asked you make a choice.”

“No. Because I would choose you over anyone, every single time. That’s just the fact. I’d choose you even if you stopped loving me.”

Sehun blinks his tears away. “So… You kissed him. Why are you telling me?”

Kai does not reply. He keeps his head low, a hand fisting the sheets.

“Do you… want to be with him, Kai?” Sehun asks. “Am I the one that popped out of nowhere all of a sudden and ruined everything? You couldn’t have told me this sooner?” He shoots up from the bed. “I wouldn’t have even asked you to choose, Kai. If you had moved on, if you loved him. But you told me that you didn’t love him.”

“No,” Kai says and hurries out of the bed to grab Sehun’s arm. “No. No. Sehun, please. I am telling you this now because I want you to know that I’m finally ready to move on. From the past, from the heartbreak, from all those years of loneliness, and now, from Taeyong. But if you can’t give me that chance, then I…” he trails off.

Sehun stares at him for a moment. “Be honest,” he whispers. “Do you even want this? Me?”

“Yes!” Kai says firmly. “I know I fucked up. But I can’t go on living if I lost you again. I had my closure with Taeyong. We both did. God, Sehun. I’m such a mess, I feel like I’m losing my mind!” he spits through his grit teeth and he clutches at his hair with both hands.

Sehun gulps and immediately grabs hold Kai’s hands. “God, you’re shaking,” he mutters and wraps his arms around Kai’s body. “It’s okay,” he exhales. Kai is sweating, he is palpitating. “I forgive you. I forgive you, Kai. Hell, you shouldn’t even be sorry. I’m the one who never should have come back.”

“I can forget him, Sehun,” Kai says with a sob, fisting Sehun’s shirt at his back. “I will try my damnedest best to. But I’d rather just die if you’re just gonna walk away and leave me again. I can’t wait for years to come again. I can’t keep hoping, knowing that you’re not coming back. I can’t keep looking for comfort in other people again. I can’t go to bed alone every night again. I can’t lose my mind each and every day wondering if you were alive, if you were doing okay. I won’t be able to live with myself if I had driven you away because of my stupid mistakes again. I can’t go on forcing myself to not turn into a monster like my father every day. I’m too tired.”

Kai trembles against him. In that moment, as Kai comes apart, Sehun realizes how traumatized he has been all these years. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers, cupping the nape of Kai’s neck.

“It’s over,” Kai lets out in a shaky breath. “It’s over.” He says it like he is convincing himself.

 

* * *

 

The salt from the sea can be tasted in the warm air. The incandescent hues of the sun melt into the bright sky. The calm, cerulean ocean mocks the celestials’ brilliance. It looks like a dream. Like paradise.

The white arch they stand under matches the white suits they are clad in. Kai usually doesn’t look good in white, Sehun thinks. But today, with his platinum hair swept back, with the sea and the sky as the backdrop, Kai could not look any better in his perfect white suit.

The ceremony is simple. The day has been simple. But it is all that Sehun could ask for. The eager look in Kai’s eyes, the hungry smile on his lips, it is all that Sehun wants.

Jaecen, Jaevonn, and Jaedyn, dressed in their own white suits, are jumping in their seats, all three holding cameras. Sehun isn’t sure if they are more excited about their parents marrying each other again or about exploring this magical place as soon as the wedding is over. Not that Sehun is going to complain about the latter since he and Kai have the evening planned.

The vows are said. For the first time. They have taken their vows to be there for each other through thick and thin until death do them part. The rings are exchanged. They are new, Kai had let Sehun pick them. Symbolizing the fresh, new start in their lives.

“Do you, Sehun, take Kai to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the officiant asks. Sehun bites his lip and smiles at Kai, who grins mischievously.

“I do,” Sehun says.

“And do you, Kai, take Sehun to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” Kai lets out, squeezing Sehun’s hand.

“You may now kiss.”

They lean in toward each other. Kai’s hand curls around the back of Sehun’s head as he presses their lips together. “I’m only yours henceforth,” Kai murmurs against Sehun’s lips and pulls him into an embrace while their sons continue to cheer wildly, hurling rose petals into the air.

“Fucking finally!” Jaedyn cries. “Congratulations! You guys go nut. I’m gonna go look for that hot lifeguard that was flirting with me earlier.”

“Excuse me?” Jaecen calls after his brother. “Uh… He was flirting with me?”

“You wish, ugly.”

“We’re twins, arsehole,” Jaecen spits and slaps Jaedyn on the back of his head as they stagger over the sand, running back towards the hotel.

“Aren’t you going?” Kai asks Jaevonn.

“Please, Dad. I’m a sophisticated intellectual unlike your two other sons,” Jaevonn mutters and takes another photograph of them. “I have my plans, don’t worry. So long you are paying for the services.”

“Well, then,” Kai says and turns to Sehun. “Shall we, husband?”

“Let’s shall, husband,” Sehun chuckles.

When they reach their shack, which is specially adorned for a wedding night, Kai scoops Sehun up into his arms and bears him to the bed that is covered in rose petals. The room smells of scented candles and the sea.

They care about none of that. Their clothes come off with difficulty and they stumble, laughing, struggling to get out of their wedding suits. Sehun pauses for a moment to survey the white gold ring on his finger, studded with diamonds. He then grabs Kai’s white necktie and yanks him close, crashing his mouth against Kai’s. He pants with a heaving chest when Kai shoves him to lie down.

He rips Sehun’s shirt open and drags his lips down Sehun’s body, his teeth and tongue leaving marks of red on Sehun’s clear skin as he ventures lower.

Sehun grabs a handful of Kai’s hair and sinks his teeth into his lip as Kai peppers slightly bloated stomach with kisses. “Kai,” he gasps and scrambles to his knees. Kai straightens up and catches Sehun’s face in his hands. Their lips fight for dominance in a sloppy, desperate kiss for a moment while Sehun’s hands fumbles with the belt of Kai’s pants. “Wait, wait,” he pants into Kai’s mouth and pulls back a little as Kai takes his own shirt off.

“What is it?” Kai asks, smashing his mouth on a side of Sehun’s neck.

“I’m pregnant,” Sehun blurts out.

Kai’s lips kissing Sehun’s neck freeze. He draws back and gapes at Sehun. They pause to catch their breath and stare into each other’s eyes for a couple of minutes. “You’re not… kidding,” Kai breathes out in disbelief.

Sehun shakes his head and a sense of relief fills his chest when he sees the smile tugging at the corners of Kai’s lips.

“You’re really serious?!” Kai gasps.

“Yes, Kai. I wouldn’t joke about being pregnant. It’s not exactly a fun holiday for me. I’ll be fat, my feet would hurt, my ankles will be swollen, and god, imagine if it’s another set of triplets! I won’t be—” Kai cuts him off when he grabs his face and kisses him deeply.

Sehun’s eyes fly open when he tastes the salt of Kai’s tears on his lips. “Kai,” he says, pulling back.

“I’m sorry,” Kai rasps, pressing their foreheads together. He tilts his head to kiss Sehun again. This time, slower. Like he is making a promise.

“What are you apologizing for?” Sehun asks, pressing a hand on Kai’s chest to break the kiss. “For kissing Taeyong?” he says in a mocking tone. “I hope you don’t plan on doing it again. I officially have a license to kick your arse if you did.” He lifts his left hand and flaunts his wedding band.

Kai shakes his head and kisses both of Sehun’s cheeks. “I’m just sorry. For everything.”

Sehun frowns, but he doesn’t press Kai for more. He drops his face on Kai’s shoulder.

“Oh, my god,” Kai whispers shakily. “You’re… pregnant. We’re having a… baby.”

“And we’ll both be here for him or her… or them this time,” Sehun mutters. His chest clenches. “I promise. I’m never leaving again. I’m sorry. For betraying you, for not coming back all those years. For breaking your heart. For abandoning you and the kids.”

Kai caresses Sehun’s cheek and kisses his forehead. His eyes are red, his lips are quivering. “And I’ll be there for you. I promise.”

Neither of them knows if they are making promises they’d keep. But they make them, anyway. This isn’t their happy ending. Not yet, at least. A happy ending would be when they are growing old and dying next to each other, cherishing all the good memories they shared. They are simply stepping on to the next chapter of their lives.

Stories that end midway on a happy note do not promise their readers a happy ending for the characters, but just a false hope.

Happy endings, however, are for those who have made peace with themselves.

 

**A D R I A N**

 

The canopies have thinned. The birds are gone. The wind is shifting. The air is getting heavy. Winter is coming.

Adrian draws a deep breath and takes a sip of the lukewarm coffee as he remains perched on the house’s roof. He feels like a teenager again as he reminisces the days he used to sit up on the roof for a breath of fresh air and his brother, Sehun would annoyingly beg him to climb down from the roof, out of concern for his big brother’s safety while their parents would be spending their night watching world’s news on the small TV they had.

It feels like a lifetime ago.

Nemo must be asleep now. Finn isn’t back from work. And at lonely times like this, Adrian smiles. Because he doesn’t actually feel so lonely. He feels more at home than ever.

He looks to his empty side as always and imagines Jongin smiling at him, biting his lip, blushing. They’d talk about their beautiful child, they’d talk about what an idiot everyone else is, then they’d hope for everyone’s happiness. Jongin would lean his head on Adrian’s shoulder and they’d watch the sunset.

It isn’t a grudge.

If there is anything that Adrian longed for anymore, it is to be with Jongin again. And time and age will take care of that. He still has one more responsibility left and when he fulfils it, then he can truly be at peace.

“Shave the beard,” Jongin would say gently after a while.

Adrian will scoff and ignore him. But he will shave it anyway in the morning.

Then smiling endearingly, Jongin would kiss Adrian’s cheek, beard and all. “Thank you for giving me a purpose to live and to die. I love you.” Always. He'd say that always.

Adrian would smile to himself and he’d let go of his thoughts, but never of Jongin’s memories for that they are his story and they are his happy ending.

End.


	56. smi;)e

<http://archiveofourown.org/works/11217954>


	57. Groundless Grievances & Jongdrian fic

Helloooo. You can read Groundless Grievances here on my site.→ **[link](http://revvee.wixsite.com/hyperionova/groundless-grievances)**

Unfortunately, you'll have to keep yourselves posted for an update or you could follow me on my **[askfm](https://ask.fm/EXOversal)** since I notify readers there whenever I update my fics.

The first book of the Jongdrian fic is also up on my site if you want to read!

→ **[Direct link to PDF](http://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/c5f03d_c5223ff6f1b7461fb9aa74405398971f.pdf)**

→ **[Link to site page](http://revvee.wixsite.com/hyperionova/d-r-a-g-o-v-a-n)**

 


	58. DRAGOVAN Book Two

Those who wanted me to let you know when DRAGOVAN Book Two is up, here you go~~~

→ **[Link to site](http://revvee.wixsite.com/hyperionova/d-r-a-g-o-v-a-n)**

→ **[PDF](http://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/c5f03d_db6a7dfcb91941e19a0eed0f4982431c.pdf)**


	59. Racing on The Edge

After a lot of demand, I have caved and decided to do it → <http://archiveofourown.org/works/11810202>


	60. Dragovan Book Three!

**Site:[LINK ](http://revvee.wixsite.com/hyperionova/d-r-a-g-o-v-a-n)**

**PDF:[LINK](http://docs.wixstatic.com/ugd/c5f03d_43f9eb7593d2447fa8fadcac64e44a7f.pdf)**


End file.
